Just got done speaking to Momo. She says she’ll leave your kids alone if you vaccinate them.
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pardon me miss for i am about to go sicko mode
I am the Kevin Jonas in this boy band called life.
the
I'm not convinced that Europe actually exists.
New Testament God: "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." (◡‿◡✿)
Old Testament God: What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top
Shirley Temple:
Animal crackers in my soup! 
Me: what the fuck that is disgusting
swedish dogs be like 'bjärk'
ace attorney witnesses walking up to the stand be like “hello my name is Gill Tea”
h-hewwo dealer-kun...wun owunce of weed pwease uwu arigato...
*puts weedie-chan in bong and inhales*
waaah!! (╯✧▽✧)╯ daisuki cannabis desu~! (^ ω ^ ) uwaaa! weedie-chan i feew so kimochi!!(〃°ω°〃) hehe~
you, a fool: spell icup
me, a political and financial genius: spell pig backwards and say lemonade
bwust down thotiana uwu (◕ ω ◕✿)
Z Zz
ZZ ZN
who the fuck decided that 'rendezvous' was going to be pronounced like it is.
dumb bitch roll call
wOoOoOoAaAaAh
dr peper is your new god
don’t test me bitch I will neuter you
reply to this status with your favorite color and i will tell you which back at the barnyard character you are
I got that wintertime wintertime sadness
who the fuck is oscar
I got my red dress on tonight
god I could go for some dick flavored juul pods right about now
it kinda fucks me up that there are more people living in north korea than in australia.
still a better love story than twilight -
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