GoT spoiler jon snow: hello sam, this is my new gf. she burnt your whole family alive
sam: bro that’s your aunt
sam: bro that’s your aunt
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the doom of mandos but every time the sons of feanor overreact it gets faster
living without me is a fate worse than death. therefore i must kill everyone on this site before i die
I just ate a whole canister of gummy vitamins and now I can see and hear god
I’m exempt from taxes for being too sexy
guys what’s a bottom
imagine dragons writes music for chick fil a workers who have a tim tebow plaque with a Jesus quote on their wall and shout “have a holy day!” after serving you.
good morning to everyone who stans chip skylark! everyone else die
rey picks up kylo and dunks him into the garbage. fucking obliterated
profile post
The person above me must kiss the person below me
incels: FEMOIDS ARE AMORAL SUBHUMAN CREATURES WHO DESERVE RAPE AND DEATH AT OUR HANDS
me: dude what the hell is wrong with you
incels: w-we’we just fwustwated viwgins who awe being victimized and buwwied
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Anyone younger than me is cancelled
This is now a fan account for the dogs in Dianxi xiaoge videos
stranger: hey, do u speak chinese?
me: we—
stranger: ok translate this:
stranger: CHING CHONG LO MEIN LIU KANG KUNG PO CHICKEN
me:
me:
me: um,
S(HE) S(HIT) (HER)SELF
hey watch it buddy you almost got blood on my steven universe jorts
the person above me is triple gay
[pronounces molecules like hercules]
i declare that all cowboys will no longer be heterosexual
if carol danvers doesn't give me the strap RIGHT NOW
A French exit is leaving without saying goodbye.
A British exit is announcing that you're going to leave, then sitting by the door for the next five hours while angrily deciding if you REALLY want to leave.
I have decided that I will produce opium
Baymax is a Disney princess that is final -
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