Viewpoint What makes you turn down an RP opportunity

[xpstitch]

Passivity and timidness, especially when combined with the afformentioned lack of stating wants.

Meaning : disliked YC the entire time and kept mincing around about it.

Bonus yuck : being told after the story ended.... in a rude and petty manner...

(If someone is going to be rude at all, why not do so so you can edit or end things while what you dislike is actually going on?).

"that character was boring btw" *rapid confused blinking*

 

[Len Auphydas]

I think the main thing for me is when I get the feeling that my partner wants to do something completely different, but is willing to just piggyback off of my thing and make it sorta-match it. Like, no, I'm doing my own RP, if you don't like my ideas you don't have to be here. Similarly, if someone has requests or wants that would seem to imply to me that they're trying to skirt around the main point of the RP or adjust it to match their criteria. Even if I'm not opposed to such requests in spirit, I have found that in practice they usually mean that if someone is asking for them they aren't really interested in or don't understand the core premise and won't have the kind of energy or dynamic I'm looking for.

Otherwise... If someone has very short speech without much in the way of proper grammar or detail, it's gonna be a hard pass from me.

 

[Perpetual Zen]

I honestly very rarely join other role plays because I'm very picky. But, something that makes me turn something down is how an admin presents themselves. Yes, I'm a bit judgie.*hides*
Communication is really important to me so if we don't communicate the same way ( which is so totally fine) I know the role play may fizzle out so I back out. Also, to put it bluntly, interest. It I've lost interest I'll tap out. Usually paired with the admins lack of enthusiasm. (And this does not mean effort into layout: lore: and so on but attitude). It's hard being an admin, dm, moderator. I mean I give everyone credit for what they create

Nothing personal. Just preference

 

[Edric Blight]

If someone reaches out to you from one of your interest checks and they clearly didn’t read your original thread. Then unfortunately I’m gonna have to politely decline because your doing it asking for something I specifically didn’t want.

 

[StuartAnderson]

not being proactive in contributing.
I think both people should be involved in the roleplay.
so if they constantly just say 'i don't mind' when talking about ideas, I leave.

people who clearly haven't read my advert. reading is a big part of roleplaying and if they don't even read the advert properly, they're probably a bad roleplayer.

and obviously incompatibility of ideas, writing style etc

 

[nerdy tangents]

Oh I hate it when I send like multiple paragraphs and the other person is like “okay” or “whatever.”

Like I would like an opinion on what I wrote please, even if it’s just “oh I hadn’t thought of that or I would like to do something else.”

It lets me know you actually absorbed the information and aren’t just yada yada ing through brainstorming until we get to the part your interested in.

 

[Daisie]

It lets me know you actually absorbed the information and aren’t just yada yada ing through brainstorming until we get to the part your interested in.

Or heck, tell me the part you're excited about so that we can both get excited about it, instead of waiting for me to guess what you like.

 

[Idea]

While things will fluctuate depending on the time and other context, I am generally a rather picky roleplayer. I've no shortage of stuff to do outside of roleplays and rarely too much trouble finding at least some roleplay partners, which given my particular format is often enough. There's a big list of things that can be deal breakers for me, but I tried to organize them into a few criteria which, when broken, will make me quit an interest check, roleplay, or other roleplay invitation.

Interest: Naturally this is the cornerstone of it all, having an interest in the roleplay. The important thing to note here though, is that an idea being interesting isn't enough. It needs to be better than just going off to do something else, be it a different roleplay opportunity or a different hobby entirely. A lot can contribute to this, like cravings, friends, unique opportunities... But as a rule, I tend to know an appealing idea by the fact that my brain immediately starts pumping out potential ideas to try out in it, be it playing with the setting or most commonly a potential character. There's not much to say about the kinds of deal breakers here, but things like making plots that are just not aligned with the things I find interesting at all, things that very obviously have short-lived potential, things that just sounds frustrating, etc... can be of the like. I guess a more concrete deal breaker here would be making a plot that is completely centered around your character or that doesn't give me any spotlight.


Capacity: Once I know I am interested in a roleplay, the next question is whether I am able to join and actively participate. Standard stuff like timing goes here, as does general roleplay pace expectations (anyone who tells me anything more than a post per week is probably not the kind of promise I can make. I can usually deliver that, but there will be plenty of instances I can't too), but there's also more like can I put up with certain things.


Style: Next is the remaining logistics: Does the roleplay match my writing style preferences, or at least get close enough? If the length requirement in a group roleplay is only a paragraph that's a big blow against it for someone like me, and if it's described in sentences at all that's probably an automatic nope. There's also faceclaim choices and where the OOC is, whether third person is mandatory (I prefer to write in 1st) and other such things that have more to do with my general preferences in terms of the form and site.


Trust & Priorities: From here on out it's less sequential. I am putting trust and priorities together here because they usually go hand in hand. If I see a huge lore dump on the interest check I will be skeptical of the GM's self-awareness regarding their own creation. They certainly lacked the self-control to make a more selective and focused pitch, and what that tells me is that between the good of the roleplay and the good of their own lore they may well prioritize the lore. But there are also plenty of examples of trust issues that have little or nothing to do with priorities (in fact trust is one of the biggest factors for me quitting). If I have a character rejected, down to the core concept, because the DM just didn't like it, I can't trust that GM, because rather than working with me they simply rejected the thing entirely (I'm the kind to create tailored characters to the setting and I'm willing to do tweaks to them. If the GM is rejecting my character as a concept that's normally going to be an aversion to the archetype, not an issue with how they actually fit) and I have no guarantee that I won't have entire arcs ruined by them suddenly deciding to reject some key component on a whim. And of course, there's things like politics getting injected to the RP or interest check which in my view are just time bombs.

Of course, it's not just group RPs that have this kind of issue. In fact, the most common reason why I reject RP requests by PM is usually because of trust. It's when someone sends me an RP request and they clearly haven't the slightest clue who I am or what I am interested in, despite the fact that I have a 1x1 interest check laying it out in detail in my signature (I'm in the process of updating it, but I digress). There's a chance this person is just too lazy to check it out, but even if they are not, they approached me for a roleplay without knowing what roleplays I might be interested in. Since I am looking for partners that share my interests, and my requirements do happen to be quite demanding for many, I cannot trust a person who hasn't bothered to look at either to be a good fit.

Another common 1x1 red flag is "I can do anything". When someone states they don't have a preference, what that tells me is they lack self-awareness (or that they are intentionally lying, but I try to avoid assuming malice). Sometimes a person doesn't have very strong preferences on a specific topic, but for one everyone has preferences, and for two everyone has limits. Its not rare that minimal digging will quickly reveal a few, or failing that to reveal that the person is so apathetic in general that there's no way they are going to actually invest in the roleplay.


Attitude: This is a pretty clear one, but attitude is important. The ideal is being welcoming, thoughtful and friendly... but just friendly and 'professional' will do if need be. If someone opens with attacking people, degrading others, demanding stuff, being too self-important, generally angry etc... on an interest check, that's probably not someone I want to associate with. There's also those who during the initial stages of the RP have a bad attitude as well, trying to be too controlling, giving preferential treatment, and many other potential issues.

Another thing I look for in terms of attitude is passion. If the Gm or partner seems too disassociated, be it apathy, lack of commitment or other such things, it doesn't exactly inspire loyalty.


Time Wasted: If my time is not valued, I'm probably not going to put it into the roleplay. This is why I tend to avoid RPs where players make character sheets and then a few are chosen. The idea that I might not make the cut (especially given the risks already brought up in trust) and my time and effort will go down the drain is not one I wish for. Other cases include ones where I would have to read a huge document, or other cases of wasting my time and effort by purposefully making part of it be flushed down the toilet.


Creative Freedom: My main reason to roleplay is as an outlet for my creativity. While I don't need things to be totally sandbox with no limits, there is a certain (admittedly difficult to define) threshold where things go from "reasonable setting of a consistent world" to "here's a mold, we will also provide the filling". I like and need some breathing room to explore my ideas, and I do like to intentionally try to make things that are on the more 'out there' side of whatever setting they are a part of.

Another thing I really want is for my ideas to be shared and get their chance to shine and be displayed. While this is almost entirely tied to execution, there can be early signs of my character being just a replaceable token, their particular being being almost irrelevant to their role and interchangeable with others.


Roleplay-type-specific Dealbreakers: This contains a wild assortment of things, like for instance cannon characters in fandom roleplays being allowed.


Personal Issues: Issues of a more personal nature, like 'good demons' as a cannon part of the setting from the outset.

 

[ViperBite]

Other than incompatibility, I’d turn down a roleplay if their character is obnoxious. This usually happens after we start writing, but I can get a feel for their vibe a few posts in. Rather than draw it out and suffer, I let them know we are not on the same page and excuse myself.

 

[Jet]

Overly controlling GMs with strict rules for character creation, narrow boundaries for lore and assigning roles to the cast. I hate the idea of being forced into a specific character within narrow lore constraints. It seems one sided like the GM wants me to populate their strictly monitored world, rather than a collaborative writing experience.

Even worse is where the GM makes character ideas in advance. I saw one where every role came with a description like, "A distant loner with a troubled past and a dangerous secret."

Or, "A beautiful woman scarred by her past lovers, who desperately wants to love again."

Again, this is not collaborative writing. The GM wants writing assistants for their vision, at that point I want compensation for my time.

A condescending mood also drives me away, which may be hard to explain but here's my attempt. Some roleplays have an atmosphere that's overly done, dainty fonts and long winded explanations, people LARPing as Victorian socialites. There isn't a specific term for this kind of RP, and I don't want to throw anyone under the bus, but maybe you know what I mean. It all feels very cliche and tired and r/iamverysmart, with every post using redundant explanations and details that add nothing, where every observation comes with philosophic reflections.

"He watched the tissue shrivel as he cleaned the spilled tea, reflecting how pain shrunk the heart when it soaked in."

Like seriously dude, give me a break. This stuff seems like writing competition-bait instead of creative writing, and thats not appealing to me.

 

[Jannah]

Other than incompatibility, I’d turn down a roleplay if their character is obnoxious. This usually happens after we start writing, but I can get a feel for their vibe a few posts in. Rather than draw it out and suffer, I let them know we are not on the same page and excuse myself.

What do you define as obnoxious exactly? I'm just curious as it can be pretty subjective.

 

[ViperBite]

What do you define as obnoxious exactly? I'm just curious as it can be pretty subjective.

When their characters lack common sense that I believe every adult should possess.

 

[Frownist]

In a roleplay I’ll stick around unless I’m really unsatisfied. But the number one thing that will usually cause me to leave a roleplay is people who don’t bother to read anything or people who miss crucial details, and then ask tons of questions about it. I don’t care if it’s every once in awhile, but if you can’t even be bothered to properly read through the interest check.. Then it’s kinda ehhh idk, lol. I don’t really want to roleplay with anyone that impatient.

Yeah, I know that sometimes you just don’t understand things and it’s perfectly fine to ask questions about it. But if your questions are simple things that can be answered by just reading and you consistently skim or skip through everything then it’s a little disheartening.

 

[TripleVegas]

Probably only one thing and however you put it or however it manifests, it's always lack of compatibility.

 

[kawaiiyote]

i think i might be pretty fickle, but a couple "red flags" that'll send me packing in the planning stages are:

• not vibing ooc. it's so important to me that i have a friendly chemistry with a writing partner, and if everything feels awkward & forced ooc, i'm likely to save myself the trouble and politely back out.
• they sent a kinklist. not something i'd anticipate encountering here, but this is a common practice elsewhere. i cannot express how uninterested i am in learning a writer's ooc kinks.
• character icks. there are a couple terms i doubt will fly here, but basically, describing parties of an mxm ship with certain terminology is a huuuge red flag to me. i don't like to boil a character's entire personality down to their sexuality/ship dynamics.
• more character icks. i like to write against adult characters (generally 25+), which people always agree to - but sometimes they then send me a reference image of someone who may well be that age but looks like they'd be cast to play a highschool student. absolutely not.
• too passive ooc. i'm probably guilty of this at times because i'm not very assertive, but if i have to sit there & guess what they want & what they're looking for, i'm out.
• reference image icks. i enjoy the occasional anime here & there, but find anime-style ref images off-putting. usually it just means the style & vibe of the rp is not a match. by the same token, i really don't like heavily filtered influencer refs. i much prefer a real life (actor or model) fc or a highly realistic piece of art - or no reference at all! we're writers; we can describe our characters to each other & use our imaginations.
• the writing isn't a vibe. after all the other ooc stuff, it's rare it gets to this point & i don't like the other person's writing, but it's happened. sometimes i get a writing sample (or worse, a starter), & realize our writing styles aren't compatible. i might have kind of lofty expectations on this front, but the odd mistake here & there is fine. bland, uninspired writing, though... this one's also the only one i wouldn't be comfortable communicating unless they asked directly.

 

[FrostyDragon]

Recently, I dropped out of an RP before it started because I felt like I just wasn't compatible with my partner. I felt like we either had different preferences for the style of RP (multiple locations vs one or very few locations) or my partner didn't communicate very well when we did hit on ideas we both agreed to. I got as far as trying to write the first post, and realized so much of what we'd discussed had ended with "whatever you want". I'd lost all excitement for the RP before I'd even written a first post, and decided to drop out.

 

[Nu Epiq]

Being pressured to roleplay will make me turn it down. If I explain politely I’m not looking for more roleplays, that honestly means I don’t have time for any and it’s kind of a red flag for me when the other person doesn’t take what I said seriously or disregards it completely.

 

[BuggaBoo]

Hi!!

Sooooo like I only rp in groups now. And when i do withdraw from RPs, it's always been these 4:

Discord - dealbreaker and hard pass. Too many disgusting experiences (not talking about it) that and you get a gazillion notifs. Hard to keep up and no real desire. It's just an rp lol

Speed posting- multiple posts per day I just cannot keep up. I'm like max 2x/wk. This one makes buggaBoo very sad.

Post quality/length - I need to read posts that are engaging cuz I'm like that. Less than a chunky paragraph is tough for ya girl to engage with.

Charries with No drawbacks or uneven drawbacks compared to benefits - no examples it's just what I see kinda like tells me what kinda rper imma rp with cuz this is me being a picky presumptuous bitch lol

 

[Jackalope]

I will be honest: If in your first messages I see horrid spelling mistakes and grammatical errors? I'm out. You could have the best idea in the world, but all the shorthand is nonsense will make me (politely) turn tail and run. This is because I am trusting in people to be literate because I'm snobbish like that and with shorthand responses they've already proven that might not be their strong suit. At least, that's how it appears.

If it seems like I'm going to be doing all the legwork? Pass.

If I feel like I can't live up to your expectations? Pass.

Among other common reasons.

 

[blackravenbird]

When someone suggest an idea that doesn’t get me excited to rp it and maybe a character or fandom I have no idea about.

 

[ChillDyll]

Very rarely if I have ever turned down a roleplay request, it's either my own fault of losing interest or the person's fault for pushing the story in ways it wasn't planned to be without confirmation first. Most of my experiences include the trust of both people to follow the rules of the world we're building, but sometimes it gets messy and leads to myself losing interest or the person just creating a stressful field of unfair situations whether to benefit their own character or their situation.

It's specific and vague at the same time, but in summary, the only times I've dropped a roleplay is because they start with too much complication or build into something too much.

 

[Natasha4E]

- Their character is OP, has an extreme amount of drama/trauma in their past. Even worse when they can't tell me about their characters personality at all. I don't need a character sheet if you can't make one, and I don't need to know their favorite foods and what they did on their tenth birthday. Just give me a general idea of who they are.
- They have no ideas, or they want everything to go their way.
- They can't read. Noticeable right away, most of the time, when they respond to my search thread but have no idea what was in there.
- They will count my words or paragraphs. I hate one liners too, and I can probably write the amount you want. I just don't like the idea. Like I'm still in school.
- They won't play men. I have been restricted to men often enough. I'd like to at least feel like I have a choice.
- Search threads for 1X1 with different fonts, colors, imagines, tabs and whatever. It's too intimidating! I am an adult with a life and I don't have that much time!

 

[Nu Epiq]

Writing or communicating off-site. For example discord, email, any other mediums other than the actual forum. Unless I honestly have known you for years, or in real life, if someone asks suddenly to take it from the site, I'm not interested.

 

[snicker_sage]

Incompatibility, i am usually open for ideas, but if i have to change my current muse to another, that'll be directly a no from me.

Same if someone is focused on romance, when i am an action/comedy/spar/fighting kind of RPer.

I do have moved from the anime roleplaying for those, i won't turn anyone down for that sole reason, only if none of our ideas can help to set any plot(s).

 

[Pliades]

I've been writing for 29 years, so I've had plenty of time to weed out what I do and don't like in my writing partnerships. Some people would call me a literacy snob but for what I put into my characters, world-building, plots, and continuity expression, in my opinion it's not being a snob to have some boundaries and expectations set ahead of time. That said:

1.) Literacy Incompatibility - I typically write 300-2000 words per post, but my longest post to date (which was a detailed lore scene to set up an ENTIRE 1x1 RP world) was over 30,000. I certainly don't expect that from other people and enjoy collaborative plotting when my partner takes an interest in plotting but I also don't mind carrying plots when needed with discussion/input if/when the other person has something they'd like to add. I generally expect 300-1000 words from my partners because I'm genuinely excited to write with the people I write with and I'd hope we're on the same page/enthusiasm level (or near enough).

2.) Intrusive OOC demands - I'm a working professional, go to school full-time, and have kids (one with a severe disability). Internet people take a backseat to my IRL commitments and priorities and having partners who get pissy, even when I communicate that I'll be late with replies, doesn't work for me. Yes, if I write with you I probably love our stories and generally like you as a person, but there are people who live in my household who come first and behaving in a way that crosses that boundary will have me leave partnerships. Sometimes I limit OOC interactions to prevent getting into details about things, but I'm always communicative and let people know when I need a day or two for replies due to my schedule or other RL demands.

3.) This one's more an extension of #2 - I have difficulty dealing with OOC insecurity, don't do gaslighting (especially over my availability/not being able to respond to messages when the other person believes I should), and don't have an interest in developing a romantic relationship/super close friendship. I understand that other people don't have issues with those sorts of things, and that "insecurity" may be triggering for some people. I'm just not here for that or any discussions due to insecurity ABOUT insecurity.

4.) Not being able to relate - So, say we have an age gap, right? Not uncommon, considering I'll be 40 this year. There are things I've experienced in my lifetime that some partners wouldn't be able to relate to and vice versa. I don't try to behave/act younger than I am and I wouldn't expect unrealistic maturity/behaviors from younger people, but that sometimes leaves a gap in our understanding of each other that can't always be bridged.

There are others, but those are really the main ones I have that aren't easily bent/accommodated whereas things like people writing one-dimensional characters can be worked with/discussed. Despite my points above, I'm big on open communication and discussion, and if an issue or behavior comes up that needs to be addressed I'm hopeful that the people I write with can approach those situations (and approach me in those situations where I'm the culprit) with mutual respect.