Viewpoint What makes you turn down an RP opportunity

[Chained Echoes]

I've been writing for 29 years, so I've had plenty of time to weed out what I do and don't like in my writing partnerships. Some people would call me a literacy snob but for what I put into my characters, world-building, plots, and continuity expression, in my opinion it's not being a snob to have some boundaries and expectations set ahead of time. That said:

1.) Literacy Incompatibility - I typically write 300-2000 words per post, but my longest post to date (which was a detailed lore scene to set up an ENTIRE 1x1 RP world) was over 30,000. I certainly don't expect that from other people and enjoy collaborative plotting when my partner takes an interest in plotting but I also don't mind carrying plots when needed with discussion/input if/when the other person has something they'd like to add. I generally expect 300-1000 words from my partners because I'm genuinely excited to write with the people I write with and I'd hope we're on the same page/enthusiasm level (or near enough).

2.) Intrusive OOC demands - I'm a working professional, go to school full-time, and have kids (one with a severe disability). Internet people take a backseat to my IRL commitments and priorities and having partners who get pissy, even when I communicate that I'll be late with replies, doesn't work for me. Yes, if I write with you I probably love our stories and generally like you as a person, but there are people who live in my household who come first and behaving in a way that crosses that boundary will have me leave partnerships. Sometimes I limit OOC interactions to prevent getting into details about things, but I'm always communicative and let people know when I need a day or two for replies due to my schedule or other RL demands.

3.) This one's more an extension of #2 - I have difficulty dealing with OOC insecurity, don't do gaslighting (especially over my availability/not being able to respond to messages when the other person believes I should), and don't have an interest in developing a romantic relationship/super close friendship. I understand that other people don't have issues with those sorts of things, and that "insecurity" may be triggering for some people. I'm just not here for that or any discussions due to insecurity ABOUT insecurity.

4.) Not being able to relate - So, say we have an age gap, right? Not uncommon, considering I'll be 40 this year. There are things I've experienced in my lifetime that some partners wouldn't be able to relate to and vice versa. I don't try to behave/act younger than I am and I wouldn't expect unrealistic maturity/behaviors from younger people, but that sometimes leaves a gap in our understanding of each other that can't always be bridged.

There are others, but those are really the main ones I have that aren't easily bent/accommodated whereas things like people writing one-dimensional characters can be worked with/discussed. Despite my points above, I'm big on open communication and discussion, and if an issue or behavior comes up that needs to be addressed I'm hopeful that the people I write with can approach those situations (and approach me in those situations where I'm the culprit) with mutual respect.

Agree with this. Some people don't seem to want to understand others do have lives outside of online, that anything in real life will always come as a first priority.

 

[Jannah]

I've been writing for 29 years, so I've had plenty of time to weed out what I do and don't like in my writing partnerships. Some people would call me a literacy snob but for what I put into my characters, world-building, plots, and continuity expression, in my opinion it's not being a snob to have some boundaries and expectations set ahead of time. That said:

1.) Literacy Incompatibility - I typically write 300-2000 words per post, but my longest post to date (which was a detailed lore scene to set up an ENTIRE 1x1 RP world) was over 30,000. I certainly don't expect that from other people and enjoy collaborative plotting when my partner takes an interest in plotting but I also don't mind carrying plots when needed with discussion/input if/when the other person has something they'd like to add. I generally expect 300-1000 words from my partners because I'm genuinely excited to write with the people I write with and I'd hope we're on the same page/enthusiasm level (or near enough).

2.) Intrusive OOC demands - I'm a working professional, go to school full-time, and have kids (one with a severe disability). Internet people take a backseat to my IRL commitments and priorities and having partners who get pissy, even when I communicate that I'll be late with replies, doesn't work for me. Yes, if I write with you I probably love our stories and generally like you as a person, but there are people who live in my household who come first and behaving in a way that crosses that boundary will have me leave partnerships. Sometimes I limit OOC interactions to prevent getting into details about things, but I'm always communicative and let people know when I need a day or two for replies due to my schedule or other RL demands.

3.) This one's more an extension of #2 - I have difficulty dealing with OOC insecurity, don't do gaslighting (especially over my availability/not being able to respond to messages when the other person believes I should), and don't have an interest in developing a romantic relationship/super close friendship. I understand that other people don't have issues with those sorts of things, and that "insecurity" may be triggering for some people. I'm just not here for that or any discussions due to insecurity ABOUT insecurity.

4.) Not being able to relate - So, say we have an age gap, right? Not uncommon, considering I'll be 40 this year. There are things I've experienced in my lifetime that some partners wouldn't be able to relate to and vice versa. I don't try to behave/act younger than I am and I wouldn't expect unrealistic maturity/behaviors from younger people, but that sometimes leaves a gap in our understanding of each other that can't always be bridged.

There are others, but those are really the main ones I have that aren't easily bent/accommodated whereas things like people writing one-dimensional characters can be worked with/discussed. Despite my points above, I'm big on open communication and discussion, and if an issue or behavior comes up that needs to be addressed I'm hopeful that the people I write with can approach those situations (and approach me in those situations where I'm the culprit) with mutual respect.

I'm in my 30's so #4 is a big part of the reason why I don't write with anyone under 18. I am, however, more lenient about this rule in group settings simply because there's not as many close and intimate OOC interactions going on. In groups you can more easily get away with just posting and leaving, or strictly talking about RP related issues.

 

[LouiseMcDoozler]

We've all had it happen. Someone replies to your RP request, and for whatever reason, you turn them down or decide to not go forward with the RP.
Why do you do it? Do you find that it happens right away, or just some time before the RP starts?

Personally, I'll turn down an RP if I get the vibe that the other person isn't half as interested in the idea as I am, like they're just taking on more RPs as a way to fill time.

I feel like my answer would be similar to everyone else’s so instead I will say this. One of the reasons why I turn down a rp in process ( which means I’ve already accepted it and had a few messages sent back and forth) has a lot to do with the writing style.

It’s like reading a book, no matter how good the plot on the description may be, if the author’s words don’t inspire you, it can be very difficult to latch on.

I’ll usually end the rp when I recognize how much it begins to drain me because truly rp isn’t supposed to do that to you. That’s not its purpose. I’ll notice when it begins to feel like a never ending chore to read and respond and that’s just not what I’m looking for.

And of course it’s not the rp partner’s fault. It just wasn’t a good match.

I feel like a lot of people can relate to that.