Realistic or Modern You Promised to Be Careful

[decadent-rider]

She nodded tiredly and looked up at him, “progressive?” She asked him softly, taking his hand in hers and gripping tightly.

 

[YourForeverIsAllThatINeed]

JD nods a little. “Yeah it was.” He murmurd and kisses her head softly. He smiles at her and rubs her back. “I’m gonna file early retirement with the station to get the benefits.” He tells her.

 

[decadent-rider]

She nodded and frowned a bit just holding onto him. “Okay... I know this is the last thing you wanted babe. But I’m glad to see you being sensible about our situation.” She mumbled and just held onto him tightly.

 

[YourForeverIsAllThatINeed]

JD sighs softly. "I gotta think about you and Mari." He murmurs and kisses her head softly. "I'm gonna start physical therapy in a month. Maybe it will go well.

 

[decadent-rider]

She nodded and kissed his cheek. She wasn’t about to remind him that they knew he’d not only injured the spinal cord but it had been severed during the crash. She wasn’t about to try and ruin his good mood, “I need to go get some laundry done, if she starts crying can you get her?” She asked him quietly and kissed his cheek, getting up and walking out of the room.

 

[YourForeverIsAllThatINeed]

JD frowns a little but lets her go. He nods and sighs softly. He knew she chances of him walking agian were basically sero, but he figured if he let into that he'd just be stuck in this hole and it wouldn't help anyone.

 

[decadent-rider]

Carmen day down in the utility room after a little while just burying her face in her hands and shaking some. She wanted her life back to normal or at least a fast track to what their new normal would be and she was still freaking out over not bonding with Mari as much as she thought she would have. On top of it all she still wasn’t completely healed from the emergency c section they’d had to do but she didn’t really have time to slow it down at the moment.

 

[YourForeverIsAllThatINeed]

JD gets back in the wheelchair so he'd be ready if Mari woke up. He still felt like Carmen was anything but happy and he felt so lost on how to help her. He knew his injury was adding even more of a burden to her. He hears Mari crying a few minutes later and goes to get her, sitting in the room and rocking her.

 

[decadent-rider]

Carmen didn’t move hearing her crying and she didn’t even want to go face JD the way she was right now. She just felt numb to everything. Eventually she finished the laundry and got up to go get something to eat, heading her mom get back around the same time.

 

[YourForeverIsAllThatINeed]

JD sighs softly and eventually comes out with Mari and places her in her little rocker witht he toys on it. He sees Carmen's mom and waves. He goes over to Carmen and bites his lip. "HOw about we see fi your mom can babysit tonight and we go out to dinner?"

 

[decadent-rider]

She shook her head and looked over at him. “No. I don’t think that’s a good idea.” She mumbled. “We have food here that needs to be eaten.” She told him frowning some and went upstairs to put the clothes away.

Her mom sighed heavily watching her go. “She’s not doing very well... she won’t listen though.... few days of you being home I think she’ll be fine.” She smiled at him and went to say hi to her granddaughter.

 

[YourForeverIsAllThatINeed]

JD frowns when she says no and then looks at her mom. He sighs and shakes his head. He didn’t think he was gonna be any help with making it better. He couldn’t even follow her to tak to her since she went upstairs and it was frustrating. He wheels himself out to the back porch and just sits there, thinking over everything.

 

[decadent-rider]

The next couple weeks went by in the same way with carmen just kind of there but not really engaging with anybody at this point. She was still taking care of Mari because she knew she had to but she was hardly talking to anybody and she just felt lost and numbed to it all. Mari still didn’t feel like her daughter. She’d just picked up Mari out of her crib after her pre lunch nap and went to sit on the couch with her, feeding her quietly and watching JD out of the corner of her eye on his laptop. She barely spoke to him anymore. She still loved him and he wasn’t the problem at all but she just couldn’t bring herself to fake being happy any longer and she was scared that she was going to lose him.

 

[YourForeverIsAllThatINeed]

JD was on his computer looking up jobs and filling out any application he could find. He felt lost though. He felt like he had lost Carmen. She didn’t even talk to him anymore and he had tried many times to get her to go on a date with him, that’s why he was also looking up apartments. He figure it was only a matter of time before she really just didn’t want him and made him leave or he decided to. What was the point of staying if she didn’t even want him here. She sure didn’t seem like she did. He loved her so much and he just didn’t know what else to do. He had been trying for weeks, looking for jobs, helping with Mari, trueing to get them some alone time, anything and everything he could think of to make her happy. He closes his laptop after a bit and wheels himself to the bedroom without a word, not being able to take the silence anymore. He gets on the bed and starts watching Netflix.

 

[decadent-rider]

Carmen got her back down for another nap in her rocker then stood up and wandered into their bedroom, taking a few steps towards the bed, rubbing at her face some before she dropped to the floor and passed out in front of him. She hadn’t been eating for several days on top of the stress and the lack of sleep she had really overdone it and now she was starting to fall apart.

 

[YourForeverIsAllThatINeed]

JD notices her come in but doesn’t say anything, figuring she was just grabbing something and leaving. He sees her drop though and quickly pushes the laptop off his lap and getting off the bed, basically dragging himself over to her in his rush to get to her. “Carmen!?” He quickly calls for an ambulance and then her mom.

 

[decadent-rider]

She came to a short while later, still in their house but there were medics there and she frowned some seeing JD next to her looking scared and she tried to sit up a little, letting them help her while she looked around confused.

‘She needs to keep her fluids up and she needs to eat... sleep when your baby is sleeping all that kind of stuff.... she’s letting herself become far too overworked.’ The medic explained to JD whike the second guy was getting carmen settled and answering her wuestions, helping her up and into the bed in the room.

 

[YourForeverIsAllThatINeed]

JD nods a little and glances over st Carmen. He felt like this was in part his fault too. He should have been paying more attention. He listens to the medic and nods along to what he was saying, keeping his eyes on Carmen though. He sighs softly and looks down after a bit and follows the medics out when they finally leave.

 

[decadent-rider]

Carmen frowned some hearing Mari starting to fuss in the other room, getting up to go get her frowning some and rubbing at her head, making her way to the lounge and sitting down next to her rocker just sitting with her and looking up when JD came back to the lounge. “Sorry.” She mumbled.

 

[YourForeverIsAllThatINeed]

JD looks at her and shakes his head. “I’m sorry. I should have noticed. I should have said something.” He sighs and goes over to her, placing the wheelchair in front of her. “You need to take it easy for the next week okay? I’m waiting on you hand and foot. And you need to eat, starting now.” He says softly. “I’ll go make you something and please eat it. You’re gonna kill yourself carmen.”

 

[decadent-rider]

She frowned some and moved to be on the couch just staring at the floor cradling Mari close to her now. “You know the problem with that is that doesn’t sound so bad.” She whimpered. “I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know how to be a mom and I haven’t hardly bonded with her at all... I feel like I’m losing you more and more.... I don’t know where to start to turn it around.” She explained frowning some.

 

[YourForeverIsAllThatINeed]

JD frowns and shakes his head. “For gods sake Carmen you’re the reason!” He fiankym snaps. “You feel like your losing me? Cause you won’t go out when I ask, you won’t talk to me, hell you barely even look at me. Wanna know why I’m on the computer all the time? Cause I’m looking for apartments to move into because you’re pushing me away so much I’m not even sure you love me anymore! You’re not bonding with Mari? Cause you only interact with her to feed her or calm her down. You don’t play with her or read to her. You ignore her unless she really needs you! How the hell do you think you’re supposed to bond with her that way?!” He snaps at her and pushes the wheelchair away. “I’ve tried to hard to be understanding and help but all you wanna do is throw yourself a pity party everyday! You think I don’t wanna do the same!? I lost my ability to walk. I can barely do a god damn thing without help! But I’m trying to look on the bright side of it all.” He shakes his head and pushes himself into the bedroom, slamming the door behind him.

 

[decadent-rider]

She bit her lip hard and shook her head some, setting her down in her rocker again and turning it on before grabbing her coat and leaving the house, going for a walk but she wasn’t sure quite where she was going yet.

 

[YourForeverIsAllThatINeed]

JD sighs and shakes his head, trying to calm down. He hadn’t meant to snap but it was all too much for him when she said she wanted to die. He didn’t want to lose her. He loved her so much and it was killing him to see her this way. He finally calms down and heads back out, but sees she’s gone. He sighs and just hoped she’d be okay.

 

[decadent-rider]

Mari stared up at him waving her little arms around and reaching for him while she grumbled, kicking her legs out as well just wanting to be picked up and held.

Carmen eventually got home after several hours and twenty missed calls from Jorge on her cell, walking into the house and going to lay down in bed waiting for him to come through to her.