Experiences Writing an interest check is a type of masochism

[Sylvio]

 

[Sylvio]

Wanna explain my thoughts on why made this but this is just what it feels like to be a gm vs a player based on my own experiences

Being a gm has always been a stressor for me in both a rewarding and punishing way. It's nice having people interact with my ideas and participate in them. But I dedicate a lot of time to writing interest checks and world-building in general that when I finally post my interest check I feel exhausted, after what happens is bittersweet. Either I don't get enough interest and the plot kinda just falls flat which is fine because genuinely writing the interest check and world-building is a reward in of itself but it's a bummer when I don't get enough people involved. Or I get the interest I'm looking for but that's when I have to take responsibility for getting the rp going and making sure that interest is maintained and as a gm I feel responsible in keeping the momentum going until the rp runs out of steam. At the end of day, I've always had a love-hate relationship with gming and all the good and ugly I see in it is still the reason why I love posting plots and gauging interest

Being a player on the other hand is so fun. I genuinely love writing characters and finding a space to pick one of the many fc's I have in my head like everyday. And plotting with other people as a player is just so fun and to me it's not as strenuous as writing an entire rp plot

So I posted this meme I made to explain my experience as both a gm and player and I'm in no way trying to imply anyone else on this site feels the same way as I do. Just had a lot on my mind and I laughed when this came into my head

 

[gator]

That's why I only play with my friends and never put any effort into GMing

 

[Arkangel]

Agreed, but probably for different reasons. I've been roleplaying for over a decade now, but the change that I've noticed over the years is that the responsibilities of players have significantly reduced compared to the responsibilities of the GM. Most roleplayers nowadays that join as players tend to just expect to be railroaded in both out-of-character and in-character.

I stopped releasing projects publically for that reason - it's not worth the headache. Some GMs are either oblivious or have no problems being actively engaging in both OOC and IC while no one else puts in the effort to keep the session alive, but I like to believe that the majority release interest checks only to satisfy their need for dopamine that they obtain from people who express interest, and only often make relatively minimal contributions throughout the entirety of the process.

 

[Sylvio]

Agreed, but probably for different reasons. I've been roleplaying for over a decade now, but the change that I've noticed over the years is that the responsibilities of players have significantly reduced compared to the responsibilities of the GM. Most roleplayers nowadays that join as players tend to just expect to be railroaded in both out-of-character and in-character.

I stopped releasing projects publically for that reason - it's not worth the headache. Some GMs are either oblivious or have no problems being actively engaging in both OOC and IC while no one else puts in the effort to keep the session alive, but I like to believe that the majority release interest checks only to satisfy their need for dopamine that they obtain from people who express interest, and only often make relatively minimal contributions throughout the entirety of the process.

Yeah I think there's a lot to be said about the culture of rping in general since I pretty much started forum rping with no prior knowledge on player or gm etiquette. Like when I started rping it was in fucking yt comments and when an rp became large enough it got to the point where an etiquette had to be established. There was no gm or player dynamic. We were all just players establishing a common culture

When I joined rpn I didn't think about how it would influence my creative process and the whole gm-player dynamic is something I never knew how to get down and I don't think anyone has cracked it either. Genuinely I feel that need for dopamine when people express interest for one of my interest checks but then everything after that feels like an effort to maintain that interest and when it comes time to gm, suddenly my plot doesn’t sound appealing anymore lol

I’ve really had to reevaluate the group rp’s I release, they all revolve around this need for external validation so I can feel some sense of accomplishment. At that point I realized I need to stop posting group rps for a bit and instead just save all those big projects for myself and make things I can say I’m proud of. Like I love world building, but once I choose to subject my world to a group dynamic that I still have no idea how to manage, suddenly world building isn’t appealing anymore. That’s probably the reason why I burn out on this site more often than I should, so right now I’m dedicating my time to just world building for myself which is its own challenge but it’s something I can have for myself

 

[White Masquerade]

Yeah I think there's a lot to be said about the culture of rping in general since I pretty much started forum rping with no prior knowledge on player or gm etiquette. Like when I started rping it was in fucking yt comments and when an rp became large enough it got to the point where an etiquette had to be established. There was no gm or player dynamic. We were all just players establishing a common culture

When I joined rpn I didn't think about how it would influence my creative process and the whole gm-player dynamic is something I never knew how to get down and I don't think anyone has cracked it either. Genuinely I feel that need for dopamine when people express interest for one of my interest checks but then everything after that feels like an effort to maintain that interest and when it comes time to gm, suddenly my plot doesn’t sound appealing anymore lol

I’ve really had to reevaluate the group rp’s I release, they all revolve around this need for external validation so I can feel some sense of accomplishment. At that point I realized I need to stop posting group rps for a bit and instead just save all those big projects for myself and make things I can say I’m proud of. Like I love world building, but once I choose to subject my world to a group dynamic that I still have no idea how to manage, suddenly world building isn’t appealing anymore. That’s probably the reason why I burn out on this site more often than I should, so right now I’m dedicating my time to just world building for myself which is its own challenge but it’s something I can have for myself

Woah. Is this growing and self-development in real time right in front of my eyes????!

Good for you for realizing and figuring all this out! If you need any help or assistance, please let me know.

I’d suggest joining RPs as a player and then asking the GM if you can worldbuild for them. I’m sure a lot of them would appreciate it. You can submit your own NPCs/locations and they’d be free to use them + add them to the story. You get the best of both worlds. They probably won’t let you manage the story too, but you can’t have everything.

As for GMing itself, don’t be disappointed. It takes a certain way for your brain to work. You have to get enjoyment from things being thorough, structured, detailed, organized, on track, and orderly. The complete opposite of what it takes to world-build and make vibrant characters/lore. I’ve RARELY seen somebody good at BOTH. And if they are, you can tell they worked hard to do so (and you can see which one they lean towards if you look closely).

If you really want to worldbuild and then run it, at that point your best bet is to find a CO-GM that doesn’t mind handling the world-maintaining stuff.

 

[GojiBean]

Fair points.

As a longtime GM myself I certainly have encountered my fair share of ups and downs in the role. And I suppose you're right. In a way, it's a form of masochism. You spend all the time and energy building up and designing a world for yourself and others to partake in, and then you experience the inevitable. It fails to get off the ground cause nobody responds to the Interest Check. Or, they do respond and the role play starts, but it fails because people drop off into the ether never to be seen again.

My heart aches thinking about all the RP's I've started and failed to keep alive in my time. Lol.

But, I still love it. Call me a masochist. It's okay.

I love designing worlds. I love putting all my energy into creating rich cultures, dense worlds with lots of locations and interesting terrain and world layouts. I love designing languages. I love designing expansive historical timelines. I love establishing politics, religion, etc. I love all of it.

So, inevitably when the role play fails the way I look at it is "at least I have all this information to turn into a novel someday."

Cause if role playing fails, but you like creating worlds and being a GM, you're already one foot on the path to writing a novel.

So go for it!!

Cheers!

 

[methodeeman]

I've once tried to GM for this dragon ball roleplay server. It was so botched and downtrodden, the power balance in the setting.
Basically, 3 legendary saiyans (basically 3 broly's) approach the earth guardian's tower and ask for the divine water powerboost.
My own character was the disciple of the earth guardian. I was the GM of the earth guardian at that moment, tasked by the founder of the group.
Those 3 apes demanded all of the divine water to themselves, and obviously, the Earth guardian refused.
Next 3 posts detail how they collectively defecated on my OC and killed him with a super kamehameha wave. Then they left the scene immediately.
The founder allowed that autohit moment because those 3 players were his friends. Leaving that server felt like quitting a Kroger job.

 

[Sylvio]

Woah. Is this growing and self-development in real time right in front of my eyes????!

Good for you for realizing and figuring all this out! If you need any help or assistance, please let me know.

I’d suggest joining RPs as a player and then asking the GM if you can worldbuild for them. I’m sure a lot of them would appreciate it. You can submit your own NPCs/locations and they’d be free to use them + add them to the story. You get the best of both worlds. They probably won’t let you manage the story too, but you can’t have everything.

As for GMing itself, don’t be disappointed. It takes a certain way for your brain to work. You have to get enjoyment from things being thorough, structured, detailed, organized, on track, and orderly. The complete opposite of what it takes to world-build and make vibrant characters/lore. I’ve RARELY seen somebody good at BOTH. And if they are, you can tell they worked hard to do so (and you can see which one they lean towards if you look closely).

If you really want to worldbuild and then run it, at that point your best bet is to find a CO-GM that doesn’t mind handling the world-maintaining stuff.

Thanks for offering to help, but I think for now I'm just gonna stay a player for the foreseeable future and keep all the worldbuilding for myself although offering to world-build for someone else is def smth worth considering (:

The logistics of GMing is still something I am unfamiliar with and honestly, that just comes from a lack of confidence and planning on my part. I never really give myself time to actually do what's necessary to actually maintain an rp. I would just write a plot and wing the GMing part which now looking back at definitely did contribute to my own misgivings. Also if worldbuilding is really my strong suit I feel like I'm better off writing a book than running a group rp, but groups are so fun and it's really cool to see everyone's ideas come together to make something everyone can be proud of. But to do that I know that I need to just find my creative juices again and that's just doing my own thing for myself

Thanks for your kind words, you've given me a lot to consider!

Fair points.

As a longtime GM myself I certainly have encountered my fair share of ups and downs in the role. And I suppose you're right. In a way, it's a form of masochism. You spend all the time and energy building up and designing a world for yourself and others to partake in, and then you experience the inevitable. It fails to get off the ground cause nobody responds to the Interest Check. Or, they do respond and the role play starts, but it fails because people drop off into the ether never to be seen again.

My heart aches thinking about all the RP's I've started and failed to keep alive in my time. Lol.

But, I still love it. Call me a masochist. It's okay.

I love designing worlds. I love putting all my energy into creating rich cultures, dense worlds with lots of locations and interesting terrain and world layouts. I love designing languages. I love designing expansive historical timelines. I love establishing politics, religion, etc. I love all of it.

So, inevitably when the role play fails the way I look at it is "at least I have all this information to turn into a novel someday."

Cause if role playing fails, but you like creating worlds and being a GM, you're already one foot on the path to writing a novel.

So go for it!!

Cheers!

I wouldn't really call anyone a masochist for being a GM that's more me projecting my own experiences LOL

Although yeah, I can't count how many monthly periods I've been away from the site only to throw myself back into the same cycle. But holy shit I feel the worldbuilding to novel thing so hard, although I'm not sure if I go that far to actually do it. I just like designing worlds and what comes with it like you mentioned and I appreciate you encouraging me to actually write a novel

As embarrassing as it may sound I like that sort of encouragement so thanks a bunch

It's just that as a player I've had a lot of great experiences when it comes to plotting with others and I just think to myself, "damn what if I had this dynamic for one of my own plots?"

I just really needed to vent cause I've always had this frustration and just had to get it out there

 

[Cresion Breezes]

I've GMed a few things that have fairly large world-building (and enough custom artwork I drew to probably make an "Art of Cresion's RPs" book) and I never really once felt like this, even if people ghosted etc etc. I think one part is because I might be subconsciously suppressing it, since I don't want to come off as entitled (not saying anyone who do feel like this is entitled), another is because I'm a relatively new GM with only uhhh, 2-3 years experience? I have recently been criticized for it as well so I been doing some reflecting on how to be a good GM, since I suffer from the issue of being a bit too self-absorbed with my worldbuilding/plotting and going on these insufferable rants when I GM.

I don't know if this is an unpopular opinion (or maybe people don't really think about it at all), but other than worldbuilding, plotting, organization, and whatnot, one important quality of a GM to be able to be genuinely excited about...well, being a GM. Not just the "getting external validation from people looking at your stuff" way, I would've stayed a streamer if I wanted that (though there are definitely people who use RPs as a way of obtaining social clout or just using RP as mainly a social activity, that's mostly a totally different topic), it's more about the things players come up with, the actions taken, other people's interpretation of your work, weaving all that together into some sort of dynamic.

I have largely, almost always been excited to GM because while I do like worldbuilding and plotting, I don't only like worldbuilding or plotting. I always try to come up with more "novel" ideas for my RPs, in the meta sense not just the worldbuilding/plot premise sense, like I've tried to do some fucked things like a base-building mechanic, an achievements mechanic, meta IC memory erasing mechanic through editing forum posts retrospectively, fog of war formatting, hexadecimal hidden messages, all in a way that forum RPers would be able to navigate and not feel intimidated by. Even if they don't always work (most of them don't actually) I can use the feedback to make something newer and wackier next time. It feels like a game and while it is frustrating to "lose", improving your formula/loop and getting better at it, then "winning", is kind of the entire point, so I am largely at peace with any frustration it does bring.

I think it ultimately might come down to if you lean towards seeing RPing/GMing as a creative thing, a social thing, or a game, I personally find the more "creative" leaning people are the ones that suffer this type of frustration and burn out the most. It's not a bad thing to pour your creative heart and soul into your RP, but it could easily fall into the "you'll feel much better if you're writing a book" category.

Anyways that's just my opinion, everyone says I'm weird though so feel free to disregard it.

 

[AnimeGenork]

I saw a meme and had to appreciate it.

My biggest mistake as a GM was perhaps being 16 through 18 when I did the bulk of it. There are definitely teenagers out there who can do it. I was sadly not one of them. I could be as organized as all get out, I could have the greatest plot idea in the world and make it sound BRILLIANT. DRAMATIC. EXCITING. That said, I can't move a plot for shit. Considering I can barely do this in my other writings, this is no surprise. I've got the funny haha attention getter, but what about the good stuff? Yeah... haven't... thought about that yet... oops. So. That's probably not helping things.

There was also the problem of the drama. I'm not sure what it is about me or my plots, but I always somehow attract drama. Even when I started college, I was somehow the magnet for those who sincerely made my life a living hell for a moment while I was just trying to host a fun little plot or be as polite as I can. (Was that the mistake, I wonder? Being kind? But let's not get too philosophical here.) It has reached a point where even trying to start a large(r) group roleplay here gives me cause for major anxiety. Even joining a large group RP has me shaking and wondering what fresh hell I'm throwing myself into. (Yet I've done it twice this past year. Am I just a masochist of a player as well as a GM? Mayhaps. Forsooth.) I'm getting away from my own point, whatever it was, but BASICALLY, I don't like GM-ing. Too much stress, little to no respect from some, nobody READING all the words I wrote in the interest check , not to mention the generalized social anxiety that I gained from so many years of bad experiences IRL and online.

I suppose I'll be nice to myself and say it's not always me. Sometimes, the muse or whatever dies*, everyone ends up ghosting except like 2 people, or the others get too busy. For some of my plots? Probably for the best. Others are a damned shame. Some I can't even really look at anymore for some reason or another, despite them living rent-free in my private workshop. Sometimes it's really rewarding, what I had for the short time I had it. Sometimes it's just a damn nightmare. So, yeah, I gotta agree that as a GM, I'm a bit of a masochist. But as a player who doesn't know when to quit, I think I'm even more so.

If the gist of this post was depressing, do take a look at my signature. The first three RPs in the second line are small group plots I'm technically GM for. (I refuse to acknowledge this daily, however.) I just celebrated the one-year anniversary of one of them, and I'm very happy with it. Not to be a sap, but sometimes it really does just take the right people at the right time to appreciate an idea you hold near and dear to your heart. Or, you know, being willing to meme with you nonstop while you cry about how much pain you put your characters through (and then get yelled at for it). If on some imaginary scale, I'm a masochist of a GM, then I guess I don't mind. I got some good ones going. I'm happy with them c:

[THIS POST HAD NO RHYME OR REASON I SWEAR I CAME IN HERE TO APPRECIATE THE MEME ORIGINALLY.]

*I don't have such a thing. I have motivation, but I can almost always muster enough strength to write for a character or plot at any given time. So long as I'm feeling the urge to write.

 

[Sylvio]

I've GMed a few things that have fairly large world-building (and enough custom artwork I drew to probably make an "Art of Cresion's RPs" book) and I never really once felt like this, even if people ghosted etc etc. I think one part is because I might be subconsciously suppressing it, since I don't want to come off as entitled (not saying anyone who do feel like this is entitled), another is because I'm a relatively new GM with only uhhh, 2-3 years experience? I have recently been criticized for it as well so I been doing some reflecting on how to be a good GM, since I suffer from the issue of being a bit too self-absorbed with my worldbuilding/plotting and going on these insufferable rants when I GM.

I don't know if this is an unpopular opinion (or maybe people don't really think about it at all), but other than worldbuilding, plotting, organization, and whatnot, one important quality of a GM to be able to be genuinely excited about...well, being a GM. Not just the "getting external validation from people looking at your stuff" way, I would've stayed a streamer if I wanted that (though there are definitely people who use RPs as a way of obtaining social clout or just using RP as mainly a social activity, that's mostly a totally different topic), it's more about the things players come up with, the actions taken, other people's interpretation of your work, weaving all that together into some sort of dynamic.

I have largely, almost always been excited to GM because while I do like worldbuilding and plotting, I don't only like worldbuilding or plotting. I always try to come up with more "novel" ideas for my RPs, in the meta sense not just the worldbuilding/plot premise sense, like I've tried to do some fucked things like a base-building mechanic, an achievements mechanic, meta IC memory erasing mechanic through editing forum posts retrospectively, fog of war formatting, hexadecimal hidden messages, all in a way that forum RPers would be able to navigate and not feel intimidated by. Even if they don't always work (most of them don't actually) I can use the feedback to make something newer and wackier next time. It feels like a game and while it is frustrating to "lose", improving your formula/loop and getting better at it, then "winning", is kind of the entire point, so I am largely at peace with any frustration it does bring.

I think it ultimately might come down to if you lean towards seeing RPing/GMing as a creative thing, a social thing, or a game, I personally find the more "creative" leaning people are the ones that suffer this type of frustration and burn out the most. It's not a bad thing to pour your creative heart and soul into your RP, but it could easily fall into the "you'll feel much better if you're writing a book" category.

Anyways that's just my opinion, everyone says I'm weird though so feel free to disregard it.

I can definitely say that the few times I have gm'd came with the frustration that I had to do it. After so many plots that were just trial and error, I took a turn to just resent gming in general and thought that leaning into my passion for worldbuilding would compensate for that frustration. My thought process was that I enjoyed worldbuilding and if people expressed interest then that validation would be enough encouragement for me to carry through and this is just not the case at all LMAO

Like you said, you need to have an inherent urge to gm to actually have a good group rp experience. Over time that urge for me just faded away because of the frustrating experiences I had as a gm that I always suppressed which always led me to burn out. I think as a more creative person that is something that I do feel I am more prone to although again this is all anecdotal. There could be a lot of creative gms that find themselves making time for their projects while maintaining a group dynamic and being able to maintain a steady mental state. I wish I was that guy but I'm not. I'm definitely not in the game-mechanic camp of gms and it isn't really my sort of thing but I definitely do see value in it and it's cool to see the stakes game mechanics can bring to an rp.

I do have a creative urge though and I believe that part of myself is always burned out considering that I don't dedicate a lot of energy to being social and connecting with my players which I believe is important to having a cohesive rp experience. It's a reason why we dedicate ourselves to ooc so players can connect and encourage each other to be excited about posts and contributions to an rp. I definitely feel like I should readjust my creative expression to myself instead of putting it all into the plots and worlds I create. I don't need to worldbuild so extensively for my rps to release an ic. From this post I've been in my head a lot about the purpose as to why I joined this site in the first place and I had to confront a lot of my previous beliefs to find a purpose here. I love rping and I love worldbuilding, the two don't have to be synonymous and as someone who could be considered in the 'creative camp' of rpers who should just write a book, I don't need roleplays to be the sole output for my worldbuilding ideas. Although every now and then it's fun to incorporate some of that passion in rp but only in moderation. Gming is a skill that should be honed and an element of an rp that's just as important as creating worlds or utilizing mechanics and it comes with a lot of trial and error.

I feel like if we were a little vulnerable with our rp experiences we could learn from each other and make rping more fun.

I genuinely don't believe you're being weird, your insight is very much appreciated!

 

[RedArmyShogun]

I've never really thought that way about an RP interest check from my own end. My first couple on here have been "small" for my normal settings, though there are times, several in fact here on RPN in which I have went; "If you want something done do it yourself." to make rp's I'm interested in, I also always make things, or GM things I actually *want* to do. Unlike Cres to some regard, I love building worlds, I also like to organize or present things in a "logical" fashion, or at least what passes as logical in my warped mind.

Consequently, I've seen a lot more success as a co-gm, executor of the wills of others and shaping them, or tempering them back as it suits the work. I may for my next project go back into one of my high effort rp's. I make them as I want to see other players enjoying them. I want to see them played. And I want to take part as well, though I may try a new design, yet to be decided.

Point is, if you feel pain, worry or fear over making it. Just "get used to it" with time and effort and knowledge that you may not always fly. Or take and get friends from other rp's and show them the concept in advance. Or make things that you *want* to make, and not because no one else will and you are being forced. Also know that 99% of RP's die within two months or never see an ending. I tend to kill mine off when they start to dip past a point. But no, I don't do this as I take joy in being hurt.

 

[cyberzkull]

I saw a meme and had to appreciate it.

My biggest mistake as a GM was perhaps being 16 through 18 when I did the bulk of it. There are definitely teenagers out there who can do it. I was sadly not one of them. I could be as organized as all get out, I could have the greatest plot idea in the world and make it sound BRILLIANT. DRAMATIC. EXCITING. That said, I can't move a plot for shit. Considering I can barely do this in my other writings, this is no surprise. I've got the funny haha attention getter, but what about the good stuff? Yeah... haven't... thought about that yet... oops. So. That's probably not helping things.

There was also the problem of the drama. I'm not sure what it is about me or my plots, but I always somehow attract drama. Even when I started college, I was somehow the magnet for those who sincerely made my life a living hell for a moment while I was just trying to host a fun little plot or be as polite as I can. (Was that the mistake, I wonder? Being kind? But let's not get too philosophical here.) It has reached a point where even trying to start a large(r) group roleplay here gives me cause for major anxiety. Even joining a large group RP has me shaking and wondering what fresh hell I'm throwing myself into. (Yet I've done it twice this past year. Am I just a masochist of a player as well as a GM? Mayhaps. Forsooth.) I'm getting away from my own point, whatever it was, but BASICALLY, I don't like GM-ing. Too much stress, little to no respect from some, nobody READING all the words I wrote in the interest check , not to mention the generalized social anxiety that I gained from so many years of bad experiences IRL and online.

I suppose I'll be nice to myself and say it's not always me. Sometimes, the muse or whatever dies*, everyone ends up ghosting except like 2 people, or the others get too busy. For some of my plots? Probably for the best. Others are a damned shame. Some I can't even really look at anymore for some reason or another, despite them living rent-free in my private workshop. Sometimes it's really rewarding, what I had for the short time I had it. Sometimes it's just a damn nightmare. So, yeah, I gotta agree that as a GM, I'm a bit of a masochist. But as a player who doesn't know when to quit, I think I'm even more so.

If the gist of this post was depressing, do take a look at my signature. The first three RPs in the second line are small group plots I'm technically GM for. (I refuse to acknowledge this daily, however.) I just celebrated the one-year anniversary of one of them, and I'm very happy with it. Not to be a sap, but sometimes it really does just take the right people at the right time to appreciate an idea you hold near and dear to your heart. Or, you know, being willing to meme with you nonstop while you cry about how much pain you put your characters through (and then get yelled at for it). If on some imaginary scale, I'm a masochist of a GM, then I guess I don't mind. I got some good ones going. I'm happy with them c:

[THIS POST HAD NO RHYME OR REASON I SWEAR I CAME IN HERE TO APPRECIATE THE MEME ORIGINALLY.]

*I don't have such a thing. I have motivation, but I can almost always muster enough strength to write for a character or plot at any given time. So long as I'm feeling the urge to write.

in regards to paragraph 2— man, social anxiety is ffuuuucckkiinnnggg hard, especially when people can be regularly unsympathetic toward it. you put a lotta of effort and courage into putting yourself out there, but then things and people fall through. however, people failing to come through shouldn't stop you from writing what you like! even if the reactions you got weren't what you had hoped for. being kind is NOT THE PROBLEM, the world needs ppl like u who believe in common decency; it's believing that behaving a certain way may make people change their minds about you. when people are rude or critical, it shows how they feel ab themselves and the world. they're going through MAD SHIT, and they hope others feel the same. whatever they say to you or HAVE said— they have probably said worse to themselves, cus the vibe they give is they vibe they live in. since they r mostly likely miserable (which, if you have time to be hateful on a niche forum... come on), then let em go from your thoughts. you deserve better than to give them ur precious brain space lol idk

so, i'm being hella gen z when i say "haters gonna hate" but it's true. idk you but seeing you think that youre the probem for getting hate or drama— THE FUCK NOT. u were never the problem if "the hate came out of nowhere". you exist! AND YOU CONTINUE TO DO SO, FOR THE LOVE GOD. i hope this doesnt come off as "weirdo on forum w a savior complex tryna give me unsolictied advice", but the main point of me writing this is that ur distress touched me n idk i had to say smthng lol. stop questioning yourself and your validity for posting and start being adamant ab ur right to b here as much as anyone else (online or irl). be proud of being open and brave rather than cynical and complacent. be proud of being able to present your labor love in a public space with your entire chest. you did that shit mfer. why forget that??? gms forget that fr smh

 

[cyberzkull]

also i aint no gm i just read these forum discussions like a ghost at a dinner party but again i just felt inclined to say smthng??? anyways, to all u gms slay ily good job and u literally run thise mf site. like a gang of talented writers recruiting for their strange pyramid schemes

 

[Hral]

I think part of the experience you gain GMing is that you learn how to entice your players to pull the story forward with you, rather than being the one dragging them along. I think that, perhaps counterintuitively, part of that is about letting go; putting a situation in front of them that engages every character in the scene in some way, and then letting them go ham, only setting boundaries or extending olive branches where needed, much like a GM running a tabletop game should.

Still, it's hard, and no one ever does it perfectly, neither the GM nor the players. A lot of it is in the setup - making sure the people you're accepting in the RP really seem active and enthusiastic rather than having an attitude of 'I'll give it a shot". My main recommendation is frequent and very open OOC contact between the GM and players, as well as encouraging OOC talking between players. Much like a relationship, a lot of problems and struggles and standstills are caused by simple lack of communication, usually out of a fear of "bothering" the other.

 

[AnimeGenork]

in regards to paragraph 2— man, social anxiety is ffuuuucckkiinnnggg hard, especially when people can be regularly unsympathetic toward it. you put a lotta of effort and courage into putting yourself out there, but then things and people fall through. however, people failing to come through shouldn't stop you from writing what you like! even if the reactions you got weren't what you had hoped for. being kind is NOT THE PROBLEM, the world needs ppl like u who believe in common decency; it's believing that behaving a certain way may make people change their minds about you. when people are rude or critical, it shows how they feel ab themselves and the world. they're going through MAD SHIT, and they hope others feel the same. whatever they say to you or HAVE said— they have probably said worse to themselves, cus the vibe they give is they vibe they live in. since they r mostly likely miserable (which, if you have time to be hateful on a niche forum... come on), then let em go from your thoughts. you deserve better than to give them ur precious brain space lol idk

so, i'm being hella gen z when i say "haters gonna hate" but it's true. idk you but seeing you think that youre the probem for getting hate or drama— THE FUCK NOT. u were never the problem if "the hate came out of nowhere". you exist! AND YOU CONTINUE TO DO SO, FOR THE LOVE GOD. i hope this doesnt come off as "weirdo on forum w a savior complex tryna give me unsolictied advice", but the main point of me writing this is that ur distress touched me n idk i had to say smthng lol. stop questioning yourself and your validity for posting and start being adamant ab ur right to b here as much as anyone else (online or irl). be proud of being open and brave rather than cynical and complacent. be proud of being able to present your labor love in a public space with your entire chest. you did that shit mfer. why forget that??? gms forget that fr smh

If virtual hugs actually felt like smth I'd be giving you one million of them this made my day for real

 

[Perpetual Zen]

yup