World gone mad (with Primal Things)

[Faith Eliza Cord]

(Spin-off of Parental Madness; parallel/ split off of it. Beginning thread/prompt/posts: http://www.rpnation.com/showthread.php/2689-Parental-Madness )


He was not sure how much longer he could endure this. And as for his sisters...Jared was sure that their ability to endure was rapidly reaching its end, if it hadn't already gotten to that point.


It had been the attack at the cafeteria that was the last straw. With most of their companions slaughtered in the adults' attack, others fleeing the scene, Jared and his sisters had been left alone to attempt to pick up the pieces of the massacre that Jared too had been forced to take part in. Even though he tried repeatedly to push it away, he could still see flickering through his thoughts the splattering blood of the men he had shot with Rai's gun, could still see the horror in the faces of their friends as they fell to the ground, knowing with sickening certainty that he could not save them, that they were already too far gone to even try. He could hear the screams, the shouts of anger and triumph both from the adults, and knew that in his dreams, hell, even in his waking moments they would haunt him for the rest of his life.


The way it was looking, that might not be such a long time.


The girls had been hiding in the freezer and had seen very little of the fight, but they had certainly heard the screams, heard the gunshots and the death all around them, and when Jared had finally let them come out, they had seen the bodies, even when he told them not to look. He himself had tried not to look, not wanting to know which of their companions had died and which had fled, but still he had seen.


Rai. Rai, whom he had liked the most of them all, Rai, who had given them hope...gone. Grey. Grey, his long time friend, the one he had hoped to help him, to be able to count on...gone. Whether by the others or his own mother, his mother who had left the moment Jared had his hands on the gun, the moment her companions had dwindled in numbers, then left entirely, it didn't matter, or perhaps it did matter so much to him that he couldn't let himself think back to figure it out. They were gone, and with it any hope Jared had to be able to survive for much longer.


Leigh's concern, of course, had been Max. When Jared had had to tell her that Max, as far as he could tell, had fled, taking Summer's car and leaving them all behind, Leigh had refused to believe him. Crying and screaming and hitting him with both fists, she had demanded he tell her where Max was, what he had done to him, how he had made him leave her behind, before she had finally seemed to accept that Jared genuinely had done nothing, that Max had left of his own accord. Jared could hardly blame him; had he not had two sisters to think about, he might have done the same. One twelve year old girl he was stupid enough to date may or may not have held him back.


Now as they drove both his sisters were silent, so much so that it was concerning. Jared had packed them back into his car, taking all the food, blankets, clothes, toilet paper, and other supplies they could gather, for there was no telling when they would be able to get it again as he circled the city, instructing them to keep low enough not to be seen as he tried to figure out where to go. Leigh had finished crying long ago and now slumped miserably, letting the thumb-sucking, mute Angelina lean against her without protest. Jared was somewhat thankful for the quiet even as he was concerned; it gave him space to think, to try to simply cope with each moment they were enduring.


When he came across the forest outskirts he knew it was the place to be, perhaps the only place they would have a chance. Pulling up close, he unloaded the car as best as he could, realizing they would have to make several trips, and tried to get Leigh and Angelina to carry as much as they were capable of. They didn't protest but simply straggled along behind him, none talking. Even Jared could think of nothing to say to even attempt to make the situation better.


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[MENTION=4135]primal things[/MENTION]

 

[pistolmouth]

Alina's breathing sounded horrible. The quiet wheeze she let out with every breath only added to Ilya's mounting anxiety about the way everything had changed. Since they'd been forced to leave their house, and, in effect, leave the pristine, hypoallergenic condition that helped to keep Ali from having asthma attacks left and right, her condition had deteriorated considerably. Sure, they'd managed to snag a few dozen inhalers from the pharmacy they'd taken shelter in before they'd been discovered, but they were all different doses and they'd need to monkey around with that far more than what he wanted to.


From the corner of his eye, he saw her dig an inhaler out and take a hit off of it, the only sound between the two of them was the steady thump of their feet on the ground as she held her breath and then let it out slowly.


“Need a break?”


Ali was quiet for a few moments, considering his question and shook her head, “Let's just walk a few more minutes. I'm okay.”


Ilya nodded and reached over to rub her back briefly. They pushed forward a little less than a mile before Alina stopped and leaned against a tree to catch her breath. Ilya retrieved a bottle of water from his bag and took a long drink before passing it over. “Okay?”


Ali took a sip and nodded, “Just tired.” She ran a hand through her hair and looked up at him, “Can we just camp here for now? We cleared town a while ago and I just... I'm worn out.”


He observed her quietly for a moment and nodded, “Yeah, of course.” They each unpacked the small throw blankets that they were able to stow away and made a small camp behind a row of bushes where they would only be seen if someone were to approach behind them. “Try and get a nap inor something, I'll keep an eye out for a while.”

 

[Faith Eliza Cord]

It wasn't more than ten or fifteen minutes before Jared realized that they would not be able to walk very far. Although Angelina had only been given the lightest of items to carry, such as toilet paper and towels, she was lagging behind, stumbling along with such weariness that Jared would have carried her if he hadn't had his own arms full. He had to stop several times to let her catch up, and he was constantly looking over his shoulder, assuring himself that she wasn't about to get lost. Because she still wasn't speaking, it would be hard to find her if she did get lost, if she wouldn't answer when he called.


Leigh, on the other hand, stayed so close to him that she often stepped on the back of his heels. This began to irritate Jared to the point that he twice spun around, opening his mouth to snap at her, but one look at the misery straining her features had made him close his mouth, exhale, and face forward again.


They walked in silence, Jared deeply retreating into his own not quite coherently flowing thoughts, and so when Leigh drew in a sharp breath, grabbing the back of his arm so he was forced to stagger to a stop, he was startled, almost falling backwards over her.


"What?" he asked, turning back, but Leigh was eyeing past him in the distance, her fingers tightening around his arm until he felt her nails dig into his skin.


"There's someone there," she whispered. "I can see them laying down. Jared, there's someone there!"


He hears her voice crack, her breathing begin to quicken, and behind them Angelina whimpers but holds still. As Jared too freezes, straining to see in the darkness, he can make out that Leigh is correct; someone is out there. No, not someone...there are two people. People who, at least if their shadows are anything to go by, may be adults.

 

[pistolmouth]

What woke Alina was not another coughing fit, nor was it that she was cold or hungry, or whatever else had woken her in the countless times she'd been forced to rest by Ilya since everything seemed to go to hell. No, this was far more startling.


What woke her was Ilya's hand covering her mouth, but at first, she didn't know that it was Ilya, at first, she was sure some adult had found them, already murdered her brother and was going after her next. She let out a muffled yelp of surprise, hands flying to the one on her face and tried to pry them off before she spotted her brother's eyes in the darkness, glittering anxiously above her. With his other hand, he held a finger to his lips in a shushing motion. Her heart pounding roughly against her ribcage, Alina managed a small nod to confirm that she'd gotten the message.


Ilya hesitated for a moment and very slowly withdrew his hand. That was when Ali heard it; the soft crunch of footsteps not far away. The two of them glanced at each other briefly, and then, as quickly and quietly as they could, tried to position themselves closer to the bushes, Ali still lying down, silently cursing every rustle the bushes made with their movement, and when her breathing started to pick up, held a hand over her mouth to silence it, eyes squeezed shut. She was sure that her own heartbeat would give them away, in her mind, it sounded like a bass drum - there was absolutely no way that others couldn't hear it, couldn't feel the pulse that the sound waves of each thump-thump thump-thump vibrating through the air.


They were done for, and she knew it.


Then, something slid into her free hand, something cold and smooth and she almost screamed before remembering that she needed to be quiet, now more than any other time. She groped along it and was able to identify it as the mini-Louisville slugger Ilya had used to beat their older brother Sasha off of her. Had her shock not left her so completely numb and exhausted and alert at the same time, she would have shuddered and released a small moan of agony when her fingers chanced across the crusty and clotted blood that was still on it.


When the footsteps stopped suddenly, a small whimper worked its way up against her palm. She couldn't help it. They'd been found and she knew it, this was it. God, please just make it fast...


Ilya put a hand on her shoulder to reassure her of his presence, and when she was sure that she didn't need to cover her mouth any longer, she moved her hand and clasped it over his tightly, sure that her knuckles must have been white. She looked up at him, his eyes just as wide, if not more so than hers, neither one of them daring to move.

 

[Faith Eliza Cord]

"Don't speak," Jared whispers out the corner of his mouth, pitching his voice as low as possible where he can still be sure that his sisters can hear him. "Be still...but if I tell you to run..."


He doesn't have to complete the sentence. They knew the drill...what really concerned him was, would they be able to follow through? If he had to carry Angie it would slow him down, and they would have to abandon very needed supplies. That was nothing compared to losing their lives, of course, but still...would Leigh be able to run fast enough? She wasn't much for athletics, though she had held up better than he thought so far. Whatever happened, Jared couldn't leave either of them behind.


Slowly, carefully he took one step forward, squinting in the darkness, and partly wished he had a flashlight, partly was grateful for its lack, in case it would pin down their location and make it easier for the others to come after them. He could still hear Angelina's soft whimpers behind him and knew there was no possible way he could get her to run.


One more step forward. Two. Heart slamming against his ribcage, his breathing loud to his own ears, enough that he feared it would betray his presence. They had to hear his footsteps, as soft and slow as he tried to make them; every slight movement brought forth the crackling of leaves, the breaking of twigs, the movement of shadows in his wake. He was sure he had seen movement ahead of him, but he could no longer see the people's outlines.


Were they hiding now? Were they waiting to jump out at them? What if they had surrounded them, and there were more than he could see? They could have weapons. They could be crouched beneath bushes or behind trees with their weapons, with night goggles, for all Jared knew, preparing to take them out.


He should go. He should take his sisters and go as quietly as possible. But would they be safe to turn their backs to them? Would they be able to move as quickly and quietly as Jared would need?


He takes one more step forward, hearing Leigh say something anxiously, and shot a fierce glare back in her direction to silence her, anxious that her one comment had already set their doom. As his eyes cast forward again, he wondered with dread as he took one more step, halfway bridging the distance now, if they had heard her, if they had seen....and if they had? With no weapon in his hands at the moment- stupid, STUPID move on his part- what exactly would be do about it?

 

[pistolmouth]

Through the ringing in his ears, Ilya hears the footsteps of one person. Instantly, his hand tightens around the small crowbar resting against his palm. Ali would be just about useless if they decide to attack, at most she would swing blindly with her tiny bat and raise enough commotion to get the attention of any adult within the vicinity. Under his hand, he feels Ali start to shake even more as the crunch of leaves grows louder and closer to them.


His heart in his throat, he leans over and whispers, as quietly as he can, into Alina's ear, "Whatever happens, don't stop running, understand?"


She doesn't respond, just closes her fingers more tightly around his as though that alone will save them. It's enough to turn his stomach to ice. Ilya sucks in a deep breath and gets his feet out from underneath him until he's crouching, still covered by the bush. Grip tightening on the crowbar, he hauls himself quickly to his feet and wheels around, ready to strike. He levels the crowbar at the approaching stranger and fixes him with as threatening of a stare as he can muster.


"Don't you dare move."

 

[Faith Eliza Cord]

As the figure emerges from the bush, Jared remains very still, preparing to run, to dive forward and divert any possible attackers' attention so his sisters would have a chance to run. If he threw his full weight at him, then maybe he could take him down. Maybe-


But then he sees the crowbar in the young men's hands, and he knows this strategy won't work. Instead he stays motionless, taking the young man's threat seriously. Behind him he hears one of the girls start to scream, then cut it off abruptly, but he doesn't turn back, not daring to. The guy would probably clock him upside the head if he so much as twitched.


The guy looks young, close to Jared's own age, so it's possible he's also a kid and unaffected...but it's also possible that he's a young-looking guy in his early twenties. Jared cannot be sure, and so he is careful barely to move his mouth as he speaks to him.


"I don't want to hurt you. I don't even have a weapon to hurt you with. If this is your territory...I'll just go."


"Jared," Leigh says in a loud whisper behind him, and Jared flinches before he can help himself, praying that the boy wouldn't hear her, that Leigh wasn't walking forward. He couldn't answer her, not if he didn't want the boy to notice her too.

 

[pistolmouth]

For the first time in a long time, Ilya is completely focused on what is ahead of him, his eyes riveted to the boy in front of him, he hangs onto every word coming out of his mouth. Why is he trying to back out of this? Why hasn't this guy snapped Ilya's neck and gone tearing after Ali? He doesn't realize how intently he's watching the newcomer until the guy flinches and, purely as a reflex, Ilya flinches also. He is immediately embarrassed, grip tightening on the crowbar in case the guy tries to dive for him.


"There anyone else with you?" His voice comes out hoarse, betraying his nerves. He spares a brief glance at his sister, who is looking up at him with round, terrified eyes out of the corner of his own and tries to ignore the ache that's starting at his shoulders. For being small, the crowbar is heavy, and just plain exhaustion has made him weak.


Ilya clears his throat and watches carefully for a change in body language. "I don't want to hurt anyone." He adds, tightening up his arm to keep the crowbar from shaking, "And I won't unless I have to, but I'm not planning on getting myself ambushed either."

 

[Faith Eliza Cord]

Jared saw the flinch, and thought it over with surprise, mentally running through the possibilities of its meaning. He couldn't remember seeing any adults flinch like that, or show fear or hesitation like that. As he watched the guy, hearing the strain in his voice, seeing him glance back over his shoulder, as if worried or nervous, Jared is beginning to become more certain that the guy is uninfected, that he does not necessarily want to hurt him.


He could be wrong. But he is saying that he doesn't want to hurt anyone...and he seems to be telling the truth. Jared sees no deception or cunning in his eyes, no malice to his expression. And if this guy is one of the few left who will not automatically hurt them, wouldn't it be better for them to at least exchange a few words? Wouldn't it be better to see what he knows, what he has encountered so far out here?


"I'm 19," Jared said in lieu of a direct answer, at least immediately, his own voice almost as hoarse as the boy's. "My name is Jared. I'm not infected. I promise."


He waits a few more beats, and then, backing up a step, still facing the boy, calls out to him. "I have my sisters with me. They're 12 and 6. If I tell them to come forward...will you put down your weapon, and not do anything to hurt or scare them?"

 

[pistolmouth]

Ilya listened carefully to the boy and managed a jerky nod. He hesitated for a moment before lowering his arm, his shoulder relaxing, the slack giving him enough relief that he could have dropped to his knees and wept had he not been pumping with adrenaline. A moment later, he felt Ali's body relax, her shoulder resting against his leg. It was like the entire area had let out a huge sigh of relief.


Clearing his throat, he nodded once more, not exactly sure why, "I'm uh, I'm 17. Ilya. I have my sister here too."


Carefully, Ali rose to her feet beside him. She had put the bat down before she stood up, her hands held out in front of her. "Ali," she said quietly, her hands shaking ever so slightly. "16 years old." The corners of her lips twitched and she chewed on her lower one nervously. "So... truce?"

 

[Faith Eliza Cord]

Seventeen...seventeen and sixteen. They were safe...they were okay. The relief for Jared is enough to weaken his knees, and he lets out a shaky breath, his lips twitching into a smile as he nodded a greeting to the boy- Ilya- and his sister when she emerges. They will not be a threat. They could even potentially be an ally. For right now, they're okay.


"Truce," he says to the girl, noting the bat in her hands, the fact that both are more equipped to protect themselves than he and his sisters are. He hopes they have enough to share around, but doesn't yet ask. They just met, it's hardly time yet to ask for a favor.


Instead he turns partly towards the girls, calling out to them. "You can come now, it's okay! They're...like us."


The girls are slow in coming, their steps hesitant, and he sees as they draw near that Leigh is gripping Angelina's hand, having abandoned what she is carrying and having had Angelina do the same. He sees the tension pinching their features and tries to smile for them as they approach. Angelina won't look at either of them, her tangled curls half hiding her face, but Leigh stares at them, her shoulders slightly hunched as she speaks.


"You're...not old?"

 

[pistolmouth]

Alina tried to smile at the girls, tried to make herself appear as safe as she could. They looked scared enough already. Hell, she was still terrified of these people, even knowing that they were safe. She lowered the bat once the girls began to move forward and let out a small breath, letting out a small, maybe slightly hysterical laugh at the question the oldest girl asked.


"No. Well... not yet anyway."


Ilya was still uneasy about them. He shifted his weight to his other foot and rubbed the back of his neck, very carefully planning out what he was going to say next, "The woods have been pretty empty, at least since we got here. We'll probably have a little bit of peace before the adults start figuring out that everyone took off." Alina elbowed him roughly -which elicited a sharp grunt of surprise and pain - and shot him a small glare. Apparently the thinking he'd put in wasn't satisfactory for her. He massaged his ribs absently and cleared his throat, "That is, if it doesn't like, wear off or something."


"Enough of this." Ali said, waving her hand in the air dismissively as though the conversation were a bad smell. "Are you guys hungry? We don't have a ton of food, mostly we just stocked up on protein, but we have enough to share."

 

[Faith Eliza Cord]

"Woods have been empty? That's good, right?" Leigh said with a faint hint of hope in her tone, looking between her brother and the strangers for confirmation. "They're not here? They're not after us?"


She didn't appear to understand the implication that their being left alone might not last very long, that eventually the adults might search for them within the woods too. Jared hadn't missed this though, and though he himself knew it to be true, he didn't want to think about it, or to let his sisters think about it either. Instead he too cleared his throat, trying to redirect the conversation.


"Uh, right. We're...we've been trying to find somewhere to stay-"


"We were at the high school, but all the grown-ups broke in and they had bats and guns, and they were killing people...they killed everyone," Leigh cut him off, coming closer with more firmness to her steps now. Her eyes were still wide as she regarded Ilya and Alina, her voice getting a little faster in tempo and higher in pitch as she continued, building up momentum. "They were people's parents, and they just came in and started getting them...we hid in the freezer, me and Angie, the one without the bodies, but then Jared came and grabbed us out and we had to run....everyone was dead. Or if they weren't they were running. They just ran and left us to die. They just-"


"Leigh," Jared interrupted when he saw her chest starting to hitch, that she was agitating her own self with this description, beginning to blink rapidly, her eyes too bright for his comfort, as if she were seeing, even reliving it all again. He glanced down at Angelina, who was staring up at Ilya and Alina with her thumb jammed in her mouth, not seeming to hear Leigh, or at least not acknowledging her. "Let's...let's just get somewhat to eat, okay?"


"Joanna still wants to kill us," Leigh said, her voice too loud, too anxious for Jared to be able to look at her for long. "She'll be back. You didn't do anything to her, Jared, you just let her go. She's going to find us, and-"


"Leigh...stop," Jared shook his head, his voice betraying his own weariness. He was too tired of it all to even attempt to do anything more than this, to try to comfort her at this point. "Please...let's just get something to eat."


He doubted that either she or Angie would, and he himself was no longer hungry. But anything was better than letting this conversation continue.

 

[pistolmouth]

Alina listened to the girl, Leigh, she'd been called, and fought hard to keep the fear out of her face. It was obvious that the girl was scared enough as it were, the last thing she needed was someone older getting terrified over something that didn't even happen to them. She drew in a small, weak breath to steady herself and crouched down to their bags, digging for food and water to divvy up between them.


As she did this, she heard Ilya speak, still rubbing at his side absently, “And hey, if it makes you feel better, I mean, if we're still around and this Joanna person shows up... I mean, if it comes down to it, we outnumber her and Ali and I have things we can use-”


“Ix-nay.” Ali muttered in pig latin, slapping his leg and stood up, forcing a smile, “So let's eat. Uhm... we have peanut butter crackers, beef jerky, there's some random simple sugars like cosmic brownies and stuff. I've got a little juice, but it's mostly water.” She let her gaze fall to Angie and smiled weakly, “If you want the juice, it's yours.”


While they moved closer, Ali cleared her throat and ran a hand through her hair, "So what school do you guys go to?"

 

[Faith Eliza Cord]

"Joanna is our mom," Leigh tells them softly, not yet moving forward. One hand is still gripping Angelina's free one, pulling the child's hip close against her upper leg. "I'm not calling her my mom anymore though. I hate her. I really hate her."


Still, she doesn't sound angry in tone. If anything, she sounds sad, distant, as though partly lost in the memory she had spoken of. When Jared hands her a brownie, she looks at it like she doesn't know what it is for a few moments before slowly beginning to unwrap it. Angelina, looking up at the second brownie that Jared gives her, just holds it, continuing to lean against Leigh's leg even when Leigh lets go of her hand. Jared watches them, exhaling slowly, before turning back to Ilya and Alina, trying to smile.


"Thank you." He selects crackers for himself and a bottle of water, taking a long swallow before passing it to his sisters. He notices that Leigh is barely nibbling at her food, that Angelina still hasn't even unwrapped hers, as he addresses the older kids again, trying to make conversation more than actually wanting a response from them.


"I went to Dakins High. You?"


"We don't go to school anymore," Leigh reminded them, her voice still taut. "There are bodies everywhere in there now, and the grown-ups came back. We can't go to school...no one would teach us. No one will even let us-"


"Leigh," Jared said quietly, but again, he didn't know what else to say to her. Everything she was saying was true. What good was it to try to deny it or stop her from saying what they all knew anyway to be correct?

 

[pistolmouth]

“It's okay.” Alina says quietly, not exactly sure what else to say. She clears her throat and tries not to let Ilya's shifting from foot to foot irritate her. He's so damn hopeless sometimes. She shakes her head, “You guys are welcome to sit down and rest your feet or something if you want. We're pretty much down for the night, and we only have two sleeping bags, but I have extra sweaters and blankets if the girls-”


“Ali, just sit before you go hyper-mom on us, okay?” Ilya's voice is just harsh enough to shake her out of it. He turns back to Jared and sighs, “We went to Munroe.”


Ali brushes her brother's interruption off. He's trying. She has to keep reminding herself of it, her nerves already frayed from fear and exhaustion and her asthma and she just wants for things to be... right. But Ilya's trying. He's trying to keep her together, to keep himself together and to keep both of them from spewing terrifying nonsense to two girls who have already been through enough.


But it's hard! They hadn't been able to commiserate with anyone else, or take care of anyone else. Sure, Ilya was able to fuss over Ali because of her asthma, and because he was older, but what did she have? Nothing but a knot of anxiety twisting up in her gut -


“But uhm, I'm kind of with Ali on this.” Ilya's voice shocks Ali out of her train of thought. “I mean, there's safety in numbers, right? If you guys want to crash, we won't stop you. We don't have any claim over this area or anything like that, and it'd be a lot easier to take shifts while people sleep or whatever.”

 

[Faith Eliza Cord]

Sleep...it was something that Jared knew he and the girls needed desperately. It had been almost 24 hours since he or Leigh slept, and Angelina had only taken a few very brief naps, none which could have been very restful. But could they really trust these two people they had met literally minutes ago enough to let themselves be so completely vulnerable in front of them? Yet could they afford to let themselves go much longer without resting?


Even now he could see Angelina's legs shaking where she stood, her eyes drooping with her tiredness. Leigh was fairing better, but even in the dimness of the woods he could see the dark shadows beneath her eyes and the pallor of her skin. If they slept, maybe it would be better for them in the morning....they could eat more and move faster, think more clearly, be less dazed and emotional. At least that was the hope.


Still, to let himself sleep just now seemed too dangerous, and so Jared compromised.


"You two get ready for bed," he told the girls. "I'll keep watch a while. Come here, Angie."


It was a mark of how exhausted she must be that Leigh didn't question him any further. Instead, she took the blankets that Alina had indicated and spread them out, burrowing herself beneath and closing her eyes. But Angelina refused to join her beneath. Instead, she climbed into Jared's lap and buried her face in his chest. Whatever his attempts to persuade her to join Leigh, she just shook her head, not budging. Eventually it seemed easier just to close his arms around her and let her fall asleep in his lap, if that was what she wanted. He could move her when she was asleep.


So with his youngest sister in his lap, her raspy breathing beginning to slow, and Leigh curled up beside him, the blanket over her head, Jared looked across to the others, unsure of how to make conversation with them. Everything seemed pointless to say, given the circumstances. He heard faint noises beneath the blanket that made him suspect Leigh could be crying, but he was too emotionally worn to look for trouble he couldn't be certain of.

 

[pistolmouth]

Ilya had absolutely no idea how Jared was able to hold it together like that. He couldn't imagine what it must be like to look after two incredibly young girls who – if something didn't happen soon – probably would not make it through the year. All he had was Alina and that almost felt like he was approaching his limit.


That's when it hit him: Alina probably wouldn't make it through the year, either. Ilya would consider himself lucky if he even did. It felt like he'd swallowed a pineapple whole, his throat dried up and something heavy and sharp settled in the pit of his stomach and with it, a strange cold, tingling feeling spread from his groin and to his limbs, making him fear momentarily that he'd pissed himself. When that fear had subsided he glanced over at his sister and could see that her thoughts were following along the same vein his were.


Alina was blinking a little too frequently for his liking, her jaw clenching and relaxing without any sort of rhythm or pattern. After only a few seconds of watching her, he noticed her throat start to work more, a small swell beneath her skin rising and sinking, and then she was standing up, trying way too hard to look calm and walked out of eyesight.


He didn't hear her gag, or make any noise really, but he did hear the soft, disgusting squelch of her stomach's meager contents hitting the ground. It wasn't something he wanted to think about, really, and he glanced over at Jared, clueless as to what to do or how to handle the situation.


Clearing his throat, he turned his head in the direction she had walked in, listening carefully for any sounds of distress. “Ali?” He called softly, praying that he wouldn't wake or scare the other girls.


A pause, then a small, watery voice rang from several yards away. “Yeah, I'm alright. Just, uhm... just give me a few minutes.”


Ilya caught himself picking at the knuckle of his thumb. He knew that if he went over to Alina to help her, she would just get upset and shoo him away, but sitting there in the silence with Jared was uncomfortable.


“The little one,” he nodded toward the girl in his lap, “is she okay? I mean, obviously not, but...” He wiped a hand over his mouth, noting how dry it was. “If we can do anything, let us know.”

 

[Faith Eliza Cord]

Jared didn't realize at first that he was shaking. He was staring ahead of himself, one hand absently stroking over Angelina's back, obstensibly looking for any threat that might approach, but in reality not focusing his gaze on anything in particular. He was able to attribute the shivers frequently running through his spine and extending out to his limbs as being from cold. It was not a particularly bitter evening, but he was not warmly dressed, and he was sitting on the ground with only one blanket. It was a reasonable assumption.


But when the shivering became shudders, intensifying in frequency until he could feel his hands shaking against Angelina's back as well, and his stomach cramped tightly enough to make him feel physically ill, Jared knew that what he was experiencing was a delayed reaction of shock to the earlier events of the day. And there had been quite a lot to classify under "events" that in and of themselves, would have been devastating to experience in isolation. But all together....


In one day, he had effectively lost his job, since he doubted his life would be spared if he ever showed up again. His sister had been murdered by his own mother. Everyone still alive wanted him and his sisters dead. He was now solely responsible for their care. The few children he had met who might have been allies, including Rai, who he had really liked, had either been murdered or fled before his eyes, and his own mother was still out there, wanting to kill them all.


He could fully understand when Alina got up to vomit, because Jared felt close to it himself. He didn't want to ask what she and Ilya had been through. He didn't care, honestly, couldn't bring himself to take in even someone else's misery on top of his own. He turned his head in her direction as he listened to her being sick, but did not speak, simply hoping she wouldn't wake the girls.


Neither did stir, and he was dimly glad when Ilya spoke to him, trying to hide his shaking hands by continuing to rub Angelina as he answered, looking down at her rather than at Ilya.


"No. She's not." He paused, then said quietly, "Her name is Angelina. She's six years old. Six."

 

[pistolmouth]

Focusing on anything save for the roar in her ears was almost impossible. One hand holding her hair out of the way and the other bracing her knee, Alina didn't dare try to unhinge herself at the waist. While she had virtually nothing in her stomach, and had reduced to nothing but dry heaving and spitting bile and stomach acid into the bushes, she couldn't stop herself.


It had been the quiet and her own thoughts that had gotten the best of her. With the lull in awkward conversation between the group, she'd been left to just sit there and think back on everything that had happened until this point. The way the pillow felt as their brother, Sasha, had pressed it over her face, the way his blood had spattered and stained her shirt and her bedspread.


All of those things factored into where she was now, leaning forward at the waist over some bush as far out of earshot as she dared to get, trying not to vomit too loudly for fear of waking up two small girls she didn't even know. What really did it, though, was the memory of what her friend Thanh had looked like as she ran down the sidewalk, barefoot and crying; the way her body had gone rigid and then just as rapidly fallen limp on the ground the moment her father snapped her neck. It had been the first thing she'd seen as they climbed from the window of Ilya's room.


It had sneaked up on her, really. She hadn't thought of it at all, probably wasn't even realizing that she was seeing it as it happened. But in the dark and the quiet, the way her feet sounded as she adjusted her position against some of the rocks and dirt beneath her... she could more than convince herself that that had been the last sound Thanh had heard before her head was turned backwards.


Alina let out a small, helpless moan and retched one more time, hawking up whatever was left in the back of her throat and spitting it cleanly onto the ground. On shaky legs, she made her way back to the group and sat down, ignoring Ilya asking her, yet again, if she was okay. She felt better. At least a little, the vomiting had been a decent catharsis, like she was ejecting all of the bad from her, but her stomach felt hollowed out, now. Afraid to eat anything else, she settled for taking a long drink of water, screwing the cap back on and setting the bottle between her legs.


Glancing between the two boys, she picked at her thumbnail absently and coughed into her hand, grimacing briefly at the taste. “We need a plan.”

 

[Faith Eliza Cord]

Jared's arms tighten unconsciously around Angelina as he speaks about her to Ilya, as he hears Alina beginning to vomit for a second time. Normally he would cringe at the sound and its harshness, but now he actually jumps, every small noise around him seeming a potential cause of harm to them. When Alina finally returns to them he does not entirely relax, though his heartbeat begins to slow as he gently lays Angelina down beside Leigh, covering her with the blanket he had been using.


"I hope she doesn't wet the bed in the night...not that there is a bed," he muttered before looking back at Alina, taking in her pallor and shaky demeanor, the dark circles staining beneath her eyes, and knowing he probably looks hardly better as he repeats Ilya's concern for her. "Are you all right?"


It was a stupid question, just as Ilya's about Angelina had been. None of them were all right, even when escaping into sleep. He wouldn't blame her if she didn't bother to respond.


As Alina mentions a plan, Jared slowly extends his legs straight out in front of him, picking up a twig and snapping it into progressively smaller pieces before he speaks. "My plan...was to survive. That still is my plan. I don't know what more we can expect then that."


He pauses, then adds to this softly, after a glance at the girls to make sure they're still asleep, "We already tried the route of having a plan. We went to the high school, boarded it up the best we could, had weapons, food, running water, everything we needed. And in ten minutes the adults broke in and killed everyone there but us. We made a plan and it took them ten minutes to destroy it. My only plan now is to stay alive."

 

[pistolmouth]

Alina watches Jared put Angelina down and chews on her lip when he mentions something about her wetting the bed. “They'll be way too big, but I have some clothes that she can wear until hers are rinsed off and dry.” She pauses to take another sip of water when Jared asks if she's okay. She shrugs, shoulders barely moving, and answers with a simple, “I'll live.”


A small voice, in the back of her head adds 'for now.' She tries not to pay it any attention and watches Jared as he tells her and Ilya about what had happened at the school. That's when it really hits her, exactly how bad things have gotten. She'd known it was horrible, that there was little chance for actual survival or for things to get any better, but the thought of having a plan had given her at least a little bit of hope.


“I'm-” her own throat cuts her off. It feels tight, and burns with the lump of tears that had welled up there, the sting in her eyes making her blink quickly and she brushed at them more from frustration than wanting to get them out of the way. “I'm so sorry.”


Ilya seems to be faring much better than her, at least on the outside. His hand picks at a spot on his jeans as he tries to organize his thoughts into something coherent. “We tried to hide in an empty apartment over a pharmacy. By the time we'd gotten there, all the adults had left to... you know, so we figured it'd be a good idea to at least get supplies. We were okay for a while, but... I mean, someone must have seen us in a window or something.”


He heaves a deep breath and leans back against the tree behind him, “Look, if you guys... if you want some extra manpower, or even just an extra set of hands with the little one... I know we don't know each other, but I mean, we sure as hell can't trust any adults, so if you want to stay with us and like, team up or whatever, I'd be okay with it.”


“Me too.” Alina adds quietly.

 

[Faith Eliza Cord]

Jared regards Alina with dull curiosity, not understanding why it was that she was apologizing to her brother, but not feeling it is his place to ask. Perhaps something she had done or said had drawn attention to themselves in the pharmacy, meaning that they had to flee yet again, or that one of them had been targeted. It didn’t matter in the end. Their life before meeting him was not his business or concern, and he did not need to be privy to details.





Teaming up with them…trying again to form an alliance with others, to look out for and be looked out for by someone other than his sisters. It had seemed a good idea with the others…and for a time, it had seemed it would work out. But in the end, less than a day’s time, it had only brought them more danger, more pain. How much more scarred were his sisters now, having drawn just a little closer to the other kids, beginning to know them and be familiar with them, only to see them so brutally destroyed? How much more scarred was he?





Could he do this? Let himself know these kids, possibly like or care for them, if he knew that in the end, he would likely see them die?





But then again…what other option was there? How could he say no, if it could mean that his life or the girls’ could be spared even an hour longer than it might be otherwise?





He nodded slowly, only briefly meeting their eyes. “Okay. I guess…we can try that.”





He had no hopes of this working out for long, but for now, they would take what these kids could give them, try to give them what they could as well. It very well might be the only people who did not mean them harm, and that had to be taken advantage of, however briefly that might be.

 

[pistolmouth]

Ilya nods at Jared's agreement to team up with them and heaves a small sigh, trying not to let himself feel too much relief because of it. Just because they've teamed up, it doesn't mean their chances of survival have gone up any. But god, he'd kill to feel at least a little hope just then.


Beside him, Alina quietly shreds the leaves that had fallen, her fingers slowly picking them apart like she would flower petals when she was younger. Ilya thinks it's more to hide the fact that she's crying than anything, something for her to fixate on long enough to calm himself down. It was something she'd done since she was little and one of their parents were yelling at her. Something about her would just go slack and vacant, as though she were retreating away from it mentally. Several minutes later, she stands and migrates over to her sleeping bag, muttering quietly about going to bed.


With her out of the picture, without something immediate for Ilya to worry about, he realizes how awkward this feels. All other attempts at conversation seem to have failed, though, and so he's at a loss. He sits quietly, head turning around in each direction every once in a while, always on alert.


Clearing his throat, he leans back on his hands, “We have a few extra blunt-ish objects we managed to find. We can divvy those up in the morning.” His voice is hoarse, just further evidence of his exhaustion. He'll stay awake for a while longer, let Alina get a few more hours of rest and wake her to take his place. “We found a stream about a quarter mile that way.” He jerks his thumb behind him, “and we have a little bit of soap. No shampoo or anything, and the water probably isn't that clean, but it's something for now. We figured at least it would be a little comfort, you know? To feel clean.”


Not knowing what else to say, he just lets himself fall silent. Not much later, he hears his sister's breath begin to even out. At least her wheezing had calmed down. He still manages to hear the soft rattle of her lungs fighting to take in air, but it's not loud, and he figures it's just because he's listening for it.


“If you want to get some rest, you can take my sleeping bag.” He offers, noting just how exhausted Jared really looks. “Ali and me are pretty used to shifts by now, so you should probably catch up on some shut-eye.” Ilya pauses here, and thinks about what he might feel paranoid about if some random stranger offered to sit up while he slept, the thought of something happening to his sister, even under these circumstances, he was still a big brother, and it was still a concern. “And look, I uhm, I know my word probably isn't as promising as another person's, but... I'm safe. I mean, if you go to sleep, I won't do anything.”

 

[Faith Eliza Cord]

Jared's eyes flick in Alina's direction as she goes to lie down. He had heard her crying but had had no idea what to say or how to respond to that, or if he even should, being someone she barely knew. Shouldn't her brother be the one to comfort her, if anyone?


But Ilya was making no move, and it felt rude to stare at her, so Jared had averted her eyes before she went to try to sleep, pretending he didn't notice. He wouldn't want her to look at him if he were in her shoes. As it was, tears was beyond the scope of emotion he was currently able to feel. It was difficult to feel anything at all but tired. It was difficult to even care about anything at all when it seemed an effort just to keep his eyes open, to keep his chin from dropping down to his chest.


Ilya was talking, something about showering and a stream, weapons, expecting some sort of response, Jared guessed. He nodded, hoping this was the correct reply, but didn't really listen or hear, still struggling just to keep his eyes open. Beside him Leigh is moving beneath her blanket, mumbling something, and he hears a sobbing exhalation from her, as if she were crying in her sleep, but he doesn't look in her direction. The energy even to check up on her is beyond his grasp at the moment.


What does catch his attention at last is Ilya saying something about sleep. Jared's head jerks up, and he widens his eyes as he can in an effort to stave off weariness as he shakes his head. "No, I'm fine. I'm...wide awake."


He blinks several times in an effort to make the statement seem more true, even as he has to fight to suppress a yawn. If only they had some sort of caffeine out here...