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Who Wants to Read a Cringfest of a Story Written by 14 Year old Dencin?
- Thread starter Cindella
- Start date
Castellan
In Charge of the Big Door
This is the best, omg. Thank you so much for posting. It definitely takes me back to my own cringe.
Cindella
Id rather tell stories imperfectly than not at all
ITS BEEN A YEAR SO HERE IS MORE.
(aka just found my old journal in storage and now am able to type it up lmao)
Chapter 3 - Oh Boy
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Strider started after us.
"Imobalast!" Lord Vahn yelled. (I think that's supposed to be an immobalize+blast spell)
Strider couldn't move. He couldn't even blink.
"Immobilization blast... can't move... nose itches." Strider said. (I can't even believe I wrote that either Dx)
_______________________________________
Meanwhile.
Finally Brenton put me down.
"Ow." I protested.
"Now, without that nuisance of a boy here, we can drain your power." Vahn said.
"Why are you doing this to me? What did I ever do to you?" I yelled.
"Shut up and hold still." Brenton said pulling out a large sword.
I stared at it, then at him. (do I just have a terrible mind, or did this last two sentences seem like a line out of a bad erotica?)
"I have the right to know, you know that." I protested. (no, you don't.)
"Shut your mouth before I shut it for you, for good." Brenton said bringing the sword next to my throat.
_______________________________________
Back at the Castle.
The immobilization blast wore off.
"Ah." Strider sighed with relief, scratching his nose. "Much better." (I couldn't let that cliché die..)
"Ben, Ryan are y'all ok?" He asked.
"Yeah." They said.
"Where's Tahlin?" Ryan asked.
"Lord Vahn took her." Strider said as he started down the hall.
_______________________________________
THUD!
I hit the floor. (with my body not my hand)
"Stop...please." I begged.
"Enough." Vahn said.
The guards quit hurting me.
I started to cry.
"Come now, don't start that." Vahn stated.
Then the door flew open to the room.
'Strider?' I thought.
"Septab!" Strider yelled. (idk what that spell does xD)
When he saw me lying on the floor, he started after me and picked me up.
"Strider?" I asked.
"I'm here." He soothed.
I passed out. (cue eye roll and cliché mary sue)
As I was unconscious I heard all of Strider's thoughts.
'Jaws' He said in his head.
'Yes?' It answered.
'Take Tahlin away from here.'
'Okay.'
I struggled to wake up.
Finally I woke up.
"N-no." I said getting to my feet. "I'm fine..."
Then I fell back down.
"Tahlin!" Strider said.
"I'm okay." I said getting back up.
All of a sudden, twenty guards cluttered into the room.
Strider and I ran outside pursued by guards.
"Oh." I groaned.
"What, what is it?" Strider questioned.
"It's twenty to three, how are we ever going to win?" I asked. (three? There's just you and strider who is this #3?)
"We'll manage."Strider said, being positive.
"Okay, you, Ryan, and Ben go for the guards and I'll go after Lord Vahn." I said. (so now there's 4? where were Ryan and ben???)
"No. YOU, Ryan, and Ben will go for the guards, and I'll get Lord Vahn." Strider said.
I hesitated.
"Fine." I said not wanting to fight.
The battle of our lives was at stake.
Oh boy.
(aka just found my old journal in storage and now am able to type it up lmao)
Chapter 3 - Oh Boy
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Strider started after us.
"Imobalast!" Lord Vahn yelled. (I think that's supposed to be an immobalize+blast spell)
Strider couldn't move. He couldn't even blink.
"Immobilization blast... can't move... nose itches." Strider said. (I can't even believe I wrote that either Dx)
_______________________________________
Meanwhile.
Finally Brenton put me down.
"Ow." I protested.
"Now, without that nuisance of a boy here, we can drain your power." Vahn said.
"Why are you doing this to me? What did I ever do to you?" I yelled.
"Shut up and hold still." Brenton said pulling out a large sword.
I stared at it, then at him. (do I just have a terrible mind, or did this last two sentences seem like a line out of a bad erotica?)
"I have the right to know, you know that." I protested. (no, you don't.)
"Shut your mouth before I shut it for you, for good." Brenton said bringing the sword next to my throat.
_______________________________________
Back at the Castle.
The immobilization blast wore off.
"Ah." Strider sighed with relief, scratching his nose. "Much better." (I couldn't let that cliché die..)
"Ben, Ryan are y'all ok?" He asked.
"Yeah." They said.
"Where's Tahlin?" Ryan asked.
"Lord Vahn took her." Strider said as he started down the hall.
_______________________________________
THUD!
I hit the floor. (with my body not my hand)
"Stop...please." I begged.
"Enough." Vahn said.
The guards quit hurting me.
I started to cry.
"Come now, don't start that." Vahn stated.
Then the door flew open to the room.
'Strider?' I thought.
"Septab!" Strider yelled. (idk what that spell does xD)
When he saw me lying on the floor, he started after me and picked me up.
"Strider?" I asked.
"I'm here." He soothed.
I passed out. (cue eye roll and cliché mary sue)
As I was unconscious I heard all of Strider's thoughts.
'Jaws' He said in his head.
'Yes?' It answered.
'Take Tahlin away from here.'
'Okay.'
I struggled to wake up.
Finally I woke up.
"N-no." I said getting to my feet. "I'm fine..."
Then I fell back down.
"Tahlin!" Strider said.
"I'm okay." I said getting back up.
All of a sudden, twenty guards cluttered into the room.
Strider and I ran outside pursued by guards.
"Oh." I groaned.
"What, what is it?" Strider questioned.
"It's twenty to three, how are we ever going to win?" I asked. (three? There's just you and strider who is this #3?)
"We'll manage."Strider said, being positive.
"Okay, you, Ryan, and Ben go for the guards and I'll go after Lord Vahn." I said. (so now there's 4? where were Ryan and ben???)
"No. YOU, Ryan, and Ben will go for the guards, and I'll get Lord Vahn." Strider said.
I hesitated.
"Fine." I said not wanting to fight.
The battle of our lives was at stake.
Oh boy.
SandraDeelightful
Look at me, I’m Sandra Dee
Oh, dear. There is a lot of cringe here.
Cindella
Id rather tell stories imperfectly than not at all
So much cringe that it was unfair to keep to myself lol
SandraDeelightful
Look at me, I’m Sandra Dee
I admire your bravery in putting up.
Cindella
Id rather tell stories imperfectly than not at all
I'm acutally uploading it all to Fanfiction.net lmao.
So if anyone wants to read all of it, here it is:
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12742323/1/Dragon-Lore
