Experiences Whats making you angry today? Rp pet peeves

[nerdy tangents]

In my experience any time a cis man feels the need to tell me he is a cis man it’s a nightmare.

If it never gets brought up then they’re usually pretty decent.

I also find anyone (regardless of gender) who brings up “I’m lonely” in a roleplay discussion is a five alarm fire of toxicity. They say that and I immediately block.

So for the men out there / if a lady says no boys allowed then just accept it’s not personal and move on.

Also for the lonely people out there / for the love of god don’t make that your partners problem. We are writing a story, not doing free therapy.

 

[yutohase]

In my experience any time a cis man feels the need to tell me he is a cis man it’s a nightmare.

I apologize, I was just trying to help.

 

[Jannah]

I apologize, I was just trying to help.

You did nothing wrong, imo. I'm personally not fond of all cismen being thrown under the bus how they so blatantly were here. It's no different from stereotyping any other group.

 

[Hootle]

In my experience any time a cis man feels the need to tell me he is a cis man it’s a nightmare.

That's interesting. I have never had that issue even with partners telling me their gender. I guess you see something new every day.

 

[iMeisaki]

Hmm, okay so the assumption has been made that i hate cis men. I am not the type of person to be waving a flag saying to hate all men, etc.

In my own experience 80% of the time I've written with cis men end up with abusive behavior toward me, or the rp is centered around smut, smut, smut.
While with cis women, or any other gender not being cis men, I've had amazing rps that lasted months, years even.

Or in the really rare, and great case, these men are condescending and treat me like a plebian.

Regarding my *nauseating* attitude, it was a heat of the moment response. since it quite literally happened moments ago.

Me taking a break because I've been dealt with my fair share of assholes isn't nauseating.

Poorly writing out that i hate writing with cis men is. I do apologize.

 

[nerdy tangents]

You did nothing wrong, imo. I'm personally not fond of all cismen being thrown under the bus how they so blatantly were here. It's no different from stereotyping any other group.

I didn’t get the feeling cis men were being thrown under the bus so much as the OP was making a fairly common observation.

As I myself have run into similar issues where any time someone felt the need to specify the fact that they were a cis man it was usually combined with a overly sexualized view of roleplays.

I am not however the bathroom police so unless my partner directly specifies their gender I have no way of knowing what they are:

In the cases where my partners gender does come up in later conversations it’s never been much of an issue either way.

I was mostly talking about to the kind of people who lead with “I’m a cis man and I am looking for cis woman partners”. Cuz I have literally never seen that end in a pleasant place.

If you have different experiences then more power to you. It’s honestly refreshing to know not everyone has dealt with creepy guys on the internet.

 

[Murdergurl]

omg hi everyone!!! i havent seen you all in quite a while. and something completely stupid happened to me today.

you know whats KILLING me today?

a 33 year old loser berating me for not responding between 8pm and 11pm.
a 33 year old incel hick being PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE AND CHILDISH with me for even mentioning about the other roleplays im part of -- the reason i mentioned it is because i created characters and took great pics of them for the rp.
a 33 yr old jackass who cant get laid irl (because he said "being alone is wayyyy better") so he wants to do it in an rp.

I

Spoiler: EXPLICIT

FUCKING

HATE YOU. HOW COULD YOU BE SO MEAN TO SOMEONE THAT WASNT EVEN DOING ANYTHING BAD YOU CHILDISH

Spoiler: EXPLICIT

PRICK

literally the reason why i took a break from roleplaying and why i absolutely hate writing with cis men.

LET ME KNOW IF YALL WANT RECEIPTS



okay everyone, have a good day!

WOW. That is terrible luck. Not just one, but THREE, 33 y/o's that totally ruined your day. What are the odds of that?! ;-)

 

[saniachan]

Which one is more important: personal preferences or addressing the (unnecessary) language barrier?

Spoiler: Some context

I'm recently taking part in a Pokemon x Kirby roleplay set up in Kirby-verse. The host used Japanese speeches for the Kirby-verse casts without telling other players OOC (it's a group RP), and that was after everyone else assumed every talks are in English. When I confronted them about the unnecessary language barrier, the host simply stated that they prefer watching original Japanese animes over the dubbed one, hence them having their characters speak in Japanese instead of English. That's why I had to suggest an in-universe translator to be used over the RP's course because everyone else's characters (including one from Kirby-verse who's not played by the host) speak in English and mine had to particularly specify that she doesn't speak Japanese.

 

[Merciless Medic]

Which one is more important: personal preferences or addressing the (unnecessary) language barrier?

Spoiler: Some context

I'm recently taking part in a Pokemon x Kirby roleplay set up in Kirby-verse. The host used Japanese speeches for the Kirby-verse casts without telling other players OOC (it's a group RP), and that was after everyone else assumed every talks are in English. When I confronted them about the unnecessary language barrier, the host simply stated that they prefer watching original Japanese animes over the dubbed one, hence them having their characters speak in Japanese instead of English. That's why I had to suggest an in-universe translator to be used over the RP's course because everyone else's characters (including one from Kirby-verse who's not played by the host) speak in English and mine had to particularly specify that she doesn't speak Japanese.

Certain words in a language to add flavor is okay. Like using the Japanese word for fish, sakana, as a nickname for someone, or wolf, okami, as another nickname.

However, I feel like everyone should agree on one language and only go outside of that when doing single words or short phrases. If they didn't specify this and I was the GM, I would have told them that they should have specified this first and worked with them. However, watching anime dubbed or subbed shouldn't change how you make your characters talk in an RP, even if you are using the same fandom. I would have requested they speak only English to avoid anymore confusion. If Japanese is their second language and English their first and they are on a primarily English-speaking site, I would give them an ultimatum of either speaking English primarily and only having a few words or phrases be Japanese or leave the RP if they can't conform.

I prefer sub over dub because it's more original and I don't have to worry about the American companies skewing something up. But I wouldn't force everyone under an unnecessary language barrier if no one agreed to it beforehand just because I have a preference to consume another type of media that doesn't directly influence the RP or its world.

There is a way to include other languages in an RP and having your character speak two different languages and show that without causing confusion. Which is what I explained earlier. If people can't do that, then they are better off RPing with someone who can actually read the text without needing Google translate or another translator's assistance.

 

[Jannah]

I didn’t get the feeling cis men were being thrown under the bus so much as the OP was making a fairly common observation.

As I myself have run into similar issues where any time someone felt the need to specify the fact that they were a cis man it was usually combined with a overly sexualized view of roleplays.

I am not however the bathroom police so unless my partner directly specifies their gender I have no way of knowing what they are:

In the cases where my partners gender does come up in later conversations it’s never been much of an issue either way.

I was mostly talking about to the kind of people who lead with “I’m a cis man and I am looking for cis woman partners”. Cuz I have literally never seen that end in a pleasant place.

If you have different experiences then more power to you. It’s honestly refreshing to know not everyone has dealt with creepy guys on the internet.

I deal with plenty of creepy men, just not in the RP world.

 

[saniachan]

Certain words in a language to add flavor is okay. Like using the Japanese word for fish, sakana, as a nickname for someone, or wolf, okami, as another nickname.

However, I feel like everyone should agree on one language and only go outside of that when doing single words or short phrases. If they didn't specify this and I was the GM, I would have told them that they should have specified this first and worked with them. However, watching anime dubbed or subbed shouldn't change how you make your characters talk in an RP, even if you are using the same fandom. I would have requested they speak only English to avoid anymore confusion. If Japanese is their second language and English their first and they are on a primarily English-speaking site, I would give them an ultimatum of either speaking English primarily and only having a few words or phrases be Japanese or leave the RP if they can't conform.

I prefer sub over dub because it's more original and I don't have to worry about the American companies skewing something up. But I wouldn't force everyone under an unnecessary language barrier if no one agreed to it beforehand just because I have a preference to consume another type of media that doesn't directly influence the RP or its world.

There is a way to include other languages in an RP and having your character speak two different languages and show that without causing confusion. Which is what I explained earlier. If people can't do that, then they are better of RPing with someone who can actually read the text without needing Google translate or another translator's assistance.

About that, another player in that RP actually worded it like this:

"Oh yeah there's that part. I'm just assuming everyone is just speaking the equivalent of "Common", and it's <host name>'s preference to have them speak in Japanese?"​

Needless to say, I wholeheartedly agree with that.

 

[Merciless Medic]

"Oh yeah there's that part. I'm just assuming everyone is just speaking the equivalent of "Common", and it's <host name>'s preference to have them speak in Japanese?"

I've also done that before in Pokemon. I had those who lived in Kanto, Johto, Hoenn, and Sinnoh speak Japanese, Unova, Alola, and Galar speak English (with Alola's added Samoan/Hawaiian language), and Kalos' French and English. But because these places are also modeled after the real world counterparts, most of the regions also teach English and other languages depending on where you'd like to go.

So a very colorfully linguistic world lol XD most of my RPs tend to be "characters have Japanese names and speak Japanese, but we all RP in English because it's the preferred language" XD but it's understood that the characters are speaking Japanese. So yea, there's that. That's also fine.

 

[cloudyskies]

When I seem to be getting along just fine with a partner and planning our RP and suddenly they tell me they don’t want to RP. All of the best potential RP partners I’ve met we only got a few posts in. It’s especially disappointing when I was really looking forward to the RP and loved our ideas and I’ll never know if it’s something specific I did or my writing style? I know they want to kindly let me know they aren’t interested anymore—and I appreciate that rather than ghosting—but it always comes out of nowhere and I’m not sure what it was that made them decide to drop.

 

[Murdergurl]

When I seem to be getting along just fine with a partner and planning our RP and suddenly they tell me they don’t want to RP. All of the best potential RP partners I’ve met we only got a few posts in. It’s especially disappointing when I was really looking forward to the RP and loved our ideas and I’ll never know if it’s something specific I did or my writing style? I know they want to kindly let me know they aren’t interested anymore—and I appreciate that rather than ghosting—but it always comes out of nowhere and I’m not sure what it was that made them decide to drop.

This is the reality of RP, unfortunately. It is not just common, but the norm. And as I've said before, most of us would be lying if we said we haven't done this ourselves.

People are fickle, and any variety of reasons can attribute to a loss of interest in an RP idea. Most prevalently, I feel like the majority of RPers love the notion of roleplaying, but have a harder time actually committing to the work required to achieve it. Secondly, I think that muses are fickle, and while at the start of a convo, the idea might be hot, it can quickly fizzle out and the other person might lose the mood to continue on.

As for the lack of communication, I feel like a lot of things are just left hanging out there because it's problematic to try and explain to the other party of your reasons for no longer wanting to continue with the idea. People probably feel like their reasons aren't going to be satisfactory to the other person, or that they are going to get into a drawn out convo with the other person trying to convince them to continue, or simply that the other person is going to give them shit over it. It's confrontation, one way or the other. And it's much easier to simply ghost someone than to risk unwanted confrontation.

Also, consider that everyone wants to feel comfortable in their justifications. and having to explain to the other person (in full truth) the reason you are leaving/no longer interested in an RP brings to light that you are being a disappointment, or are a flake, etc. And people don't like to have the integrity of their self-image to be challenged by such realities. So why would they willingly submit themselves to admitting it?

 

[cloudyskies]

This is the reality of RP, unfortunately. It is not just common, but the norm. And as I've said before, most of us would be lying if we said we haven't done this ourselves.

People are fickle, and any variety of reasons can attribute to a loss of interest in an RP idea. Most prevalently, I feel like the majority of RPers love the notion of roleplaying, but have a harder time actually committing to the work required to achieve it. Secondly, I think that muses are fickle, and while at the start of a convo, the idea might be hot, it can quickly fizzle out and the other person might lose the mood to continue on.

As for the lack of communication, I feel like a lot of things are just left hanging out there because it's problematic to try and explain to the other party of your reasons for no longer wanting to continue with the idea. People probably feel like their reasons aren't going to be satisfactory to the other person, or that they are going to get into a drawn out convo with the other person trying to convince them to continue, or simply that the other person is going to give them shit over it. It's confrontation, one way or the other. And it's much easier to simply ghost someone than to risk unwanted confrontation.

Also, consider that everyone wants to feel comfortable in their justifications. and having to explain to the other person (in full truth) the reason you are leaving/no longer interested in an RP brings to light that you are being a disappointment, or are a flake, etc. And people don't like to have the integrity of their self-image to be challenged by such realities. So why would they willingly submit themselves to admitting it?

Don’t get me wrong, everyone I’ve met thus far has been nothing but extremely kind, respectful, and mature. I also understand not wanting to explain in full truth why you wouldn’t want to continue an RP—they don’t owe me an explanation. I just find it frustrating that this happens so often and I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s experienced this. It’s very difficult to find someone who’s willing to write long-term and actually pulls through. It’s just taken the fun out of RPing for me more often than not.

 

[Murdergurl]

Don’t get me wrong, everyone I’ve met thus far has been nothing but extremely kind, respectful, and mature. I also understand not wanting to explain in full truth why you wouldn’t want to continue an RP—they don’t owe me an explanation. I just find it frustrating that this happens so often and I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s experienced this. It’s very difficult to find someone who’s willing to write long-term and actually pulls through. It’s just taken the fun out of RPing for me more often than not.

Oh, yeah. Of course. I have gone on multiple absences from RP over the years because of how frustrating it can get. There are other factors, of course. But absentee partners is the current subject.

If I can suggest something (not just to you, but the hive in general), is that maybe stop looking for the long term. Everyone wants that ideal, but it may be more realistic to shoot for less-than. Given the capricious nature of online roleplayers, trying for the long game only increases your chances of a falling out. Instead, try for shorter-term RPs that require less commitment. And maybe the more casual mood of that kind of partnership will proffer better results, since there is less pressure on both of you. Just a thought.

I myself don't often try for 1x1s. I'm more of a group RP person. BUT when I do try 1x1 RP (which really isn't often, but I digress), I try to keep them "episodic". By that I mean that it is a short tale between the two characters that can be summed up like an episode in a series. If I click with the other person, we can do a second episode, and even a third. But if we aren't getting on like peas and carrots, then we just write through the one episode and go about our way afterwards. No harm, no foul. And since the episodes aren't invested as much as some long-reaching story with plot twists and story arcs, if it does go south there isn't a big loss over effort and planning.

 

[Hootle]

If writing a paragraph without punctuation, no regard to spelling, dialogue without quotation marks is your thing go for it. Do what makes you happy. But don't get mad at others who take pride in correct grammar and punctuation and want to genuinely improve their writing.

 

[Aquanette]

People who ask for partners but are clearly looking for a GM by that I mean I've seen interest checks where the OP is clearly out for their own enjoyment but make it pretty clear that they don't wish to do anything to make it fun for their partner as well and is essentially boils down to "Do all these things for my enjoyment but I am no willing whatsoever to do the same things I ask of you so that you can enjoy it too" and don't misunderstand me I know a GM's enjoyment is important too, but being a GM is the only way I can see this flying since in some cases the GM doesn't actually take part in the roleplay the same way a PC does.

However, for example, I've seen people who want to play an OC and ask that you play a specific character for their love interest rather it be another OC they've made or a canon character for a series and will straight up say they aren't willing to double and essentially said they don't want to deal with your OC unless they think your OC cool, they have a specific story in mind and under no circumstances are interested in playing any stories you have in mind of even compromise to see how you can miss the stories together.

I mean at this point write a story.

 

[Xillia]

People who ask for partners but are clearly looking for a GM by that I mean I've seen interest checks where the OP is clearly out for their own enjoyment but make it pretty clear that they don't wish to do anything to make it fun for their partner as well and is essentially boils down to "Do all these things for my enjoyment but I am no willing whatsoever to do the same things I ask of you so that you can enjoy it too" and don't misunderstand me I know a GM's enjoyment is important too, but being a GM is the only way I can see this flying since in some cases the GM doesn't actually take part in the roleplay the same way a PC does.

However, for example, I've seen people who want to play an OC and ask that you play a specific character for their love interest rather it be another OC they've made or a canon character for a series and will straight up say they aren't willing to double and essentially said they don't want to deal with your OC unless they think your OC cool, they have a specific story in mind and under no circumstances are interested in playing any stories you have in mind of even compromise to see how you can miss the stories together.

I mean at this point write a story.

Literally this ^

 

[weldherwings]

let me play out an old scene from last year in my dms.

me: hey! im interested in this plot you advertised! i'd love to do it!
them: sure!
me: awesome! I'll make the thread and stuff

proceeds to spend an hr coding and creating pretty stuff for said thread

me: hey! here is the thread! did you want me to post first?
them: yes please!

proceeds to spend another two hrs writing up a post + creating a code for the thread

me: here we go!
them: awesome! thank you! I'll post my starter tonight~!

a week goes by

them: I'll post tonight!

two weeks go by

me: hey! checking to see if you're still interested in the rp?
them: yeh I am! I'll post my starter tonight!

three weeks go by

me: hey there! just wondering if you were still interested? you mentioned three weeks ago that you were going to post the starter?
them: oh hey! yep! I'll post it tonight!

It's been a year and a half.
Still no starter.
I gave up lol.
If you didn't want to rp, you should've told me instead of telling me that you were going to post.

the end.

 

[Walliver]

I don’t know why, but I get really pissed off when people jump into my interest checks offering something that isn’t even remotely related to what I’m asking for. Like I’ll say “low fantasy slow burn with a bit of angst” and they’ll say “CYBERPUNK GANG ROLEPLAY WITH THIS VERY SPECIFIC PLOT”.
I just don’t get it. Did you not read the interest check? Do you just not care?

Also, when someone tries to change the plot halfway through the story? I’m perfectly fine with twist endings and additions to the plot once we’ve made it, but if you can’t commit to a storyline, stay out of my DMs.

 

[CecilDMMasters]

I don’t know why, but I get really pissed off when people jump into my interest checks offering something that isn’t even remotely related to what I’m asking for. Like I’ll say “low fantasy slow burn with a bit of angst” and they’ll say “CYBERPUNK GANG ROLEPLAY WITH THIS VERY SPECIFIC PLOT”.
I just don’t get it. Did you not read the interest check? Do you just not care?

Me: States I don't do romance and I RP to get in the head of my own characters.

Other person: Hey, I have I have this idea for a rodeo romance story. You would play the female bronco rider named Ella, but we can discuss names. Then proceeds to actually lay out the basis for three "acts" in the RP. With tentative promise of me coming up with the next story arc after.

Also, when someone tries to change the plot halfway through the story? I’m perfectly fine with twist endings and additions to the plot once we’ve made it, but if you can’t commit to a storyline, stay out of my DMs.

Yeah, I had an RP that was planned to be our characters on a mission/survival situation trekking across a landscape mutated by alien and magic. Only for them to suddenly their character call a helicopter to pick them up and take them to a city.

 

[Hootle]

When people don't read your request thread. It's obvious they haven't when they contact you because rather than finding a plot or pairing of interest to add ideas to, they're quick to dump their plots on you without any consideration if you even like what they are pitching. I understand people not necessarily finding certain plots or pairings interesting but why contact someone if you are going to have no regard for their request thread and just want a body to fulfill what you want to do?

 

[FelineIntuition]

After a long hiatus, an old RP buddy of mine and I got back in touch, just to chat, check up on how either of us are surviving the pandemic, etc.

They were the ones to bring up our RPs, asked if I'd be interested in starting them back up. After some back and forth we decided to, but said buddy wanted to overhaul a lot of what we had already done/had going before things had to go on hiatus. I agreed with some, didn't like others but we hashed out a middle ground. We both discussed our busy work lives/etc and that we'd shoot for a post at minimum, every two weeks unless otherwise updated since you know, life happens.

I checked with them multiple times as to if this was doable for them because what happened last time is that they just sort of tapered off and stopped posting/keeping up their end of things. They'd keep insisting they were writing, but week after week would pass, and just 'I'm gonna dedicated [certain day here] to getting a post out!' and then it never happens.

Starting posts were great, but then immediately the same behavior started. Our 'getting the ball back rolling' immediately screeched to a halt. They insist that they definitely want to keep it going but yet haven't shown any real effort in almost two months now. On the fence if I should just let them post when they can and not expect any consistency or just quit while I'm ahead to not be perpetually disappointed again.

 

[Xillia]

After a long hiatus, an old RP buddy of mine and I got back in touch, just to chat, check up on how either of us are surviving the pandemic, etc.

They were the ones to bring up our RPs, asked if I'd be interested in starting them back up. After some back and forth we decided to, but said buddy wanted to overhaul a lot of what we had already done/had going before things had to go on hiatus. I agreed with some, didn't like others but we hashed out a middle ground. We both discussed our busy work lives/etc and that we'd shoot for a post at minimum, every two weeks unless otherwise updated since you know, life happens.

I checked with them multiple times as to if this was doable for them because what happened last time is that they just sort of tapered off and stopped posting/keeping up their end of things. They'd keep insisting they were writing, but week after week would pass, and just 'I'm gonna dedicated [certain day here] to getting a post out!' and then it never happens.

Starting posts were great, but then immediately the same behavior started. Our 'getting the ball back rolling' immediately screeched to a halt. They insist that they definitely want to keep it going but yet haven't shown any real effort in almost two months now. On the fence if I should just let them post when they can and not expect any consistency or just quit while I'm ahead to not be perpetually disappointed again.

You're under no obligation to torment yourself and remain in waiting, but that's the double-edged sword you have to face when dealing with a partner. It isn't just you that's helping make that story. So I'd have an honest sit-down with yourself and evaluate whether or not you're clinging onto nostalgia for nostalgia's sake and if they're fulfilling the writing needs that you have. If the answer is no; there are plenty of other fish out there in this wonderful forum who I'm sure would be inclined to write with you and work at schedule's pace. Just have to do a bit of searching. No discredit to your partner of course, sometimes the desire to complete something is there, but actuating it can prove to be difficult. Draw that line for yourself and know your worth.

But I do very much sympathize with the frustration that it causes you. Was in a similar boat by myself not too far back. Hope it was able to help in some way.