Experiences Whats making you angry today? Rp pet peeves

[Inno]

Tbh, this is often true of hetero pairings too. Players often want the same few cookie cutter roles instead of allowing personalities to develop organically.

Melpomene actually cleared up what I was meaning by roles. Didn't know if we could go into detail but as far as roles that's what I meant.

 

[Murdergurl]

i dunno if i’ve said this before, but when people adamantly refuse to do certain gender pairings… like, if you only do singles then whatever, i don’t care because we most likely won’t interact anyway, but it’s weird for doublers to me. for example yall… when people are like “i won’t do mlm or wlw pairings at all”, it’s the same to say that you won’t do wlm pairings at all, but only the former is considered problematic.

when it comes to mlm or wlw, i can understand in some context — i don’t feel comfortable writing mlm with women, or wlw with men, because it always comes off as fetishising ( or at least has the potential to be fetishising, i’d rather avoid it entirely )

OR if it’s like, you’re doing a plot that would work best with a certain gender pairing, idk, there are a lot of REASONS to do this

but to just say that you won’t write it because “you don’t know how” is bizarre, very bizarre… regardless of the pairing in question. idk, it just doesn’t sit well with me.

Maybe they are saying "they don't know how" because it sounds more amiable than just saying they don't want to do it because it makes them uncomfortable. the latter reason more likely to bring them flak from community members looking to start problems where there aren't any. But in reality, people are allowed to like and not like whatever they want. If someone is uncomfortable writing non-hetero pairings, that's their right to feel that way. And there isn't anything wrong with it as long as they aren't bashing on other people for doing so.

 

[afterparty.]

Maybe they are saying "they don't know how" because it sounds more amiable than just saying they don't want to do it because it makes them uncomfortable. the latter reason more likely to bring them flak from community members looking to start problems where there aren't any. But in reality, people are allowed to like and not like whatever they want. If someone is uncomfortable writing non-hetero pairings, that's their right to feel that way. And there isn't anything wrong with it as long as they aren't bashing on other people for doing so.

I feel like saying "i dont know how" is ABSOLUTELY a cop-out. It just makes you look like a bad writer when you say that, tbh. it also implies you think that lgbt folk are way too different from cishet people to accurately write, when its just... another relationship. its like trying to say that men and women are just SO incredibly different from each other that there is no way for a man to understand a woman. which is problematic on a whole other level that i wont get into.

just be honest. if you only want to write m/f, then go for it. it doesn't even have to be "cishet" because bi and trans people can be in m/f relationships. i would only say it would be kinda weird if someone was refusing to let their roleplay partner's character be trans or bisexual after agreeing to m/f. other than that, who cares? write what you like.

 

[Melpomene]

I feel like saying "i dont know how" is ABSOLUTELY a cop-out. It just makes you look like a bad writer when you say that, tbh. it also implies you think that lgbt folk are way too different from cishet people to accurately write, when its just... another relationship. its like trying to say that men and women are just SO incredibly different from each other that there is no way for a man to understand a woman. which is problematic on a whole other level that i wont get into.

just be honest. if you only want to write m/f, then go for it. it doesn't even have to be "cishet" because bi and trans people can be in m/f relationships. i would only say it would be kinda weird if someone was refusing to let their roleplay partner's character be trans or bisexual after agreeing to m/f. other than that, who cares? write what you like.

Yeah imo "I don't know how" sounds less amiable.

In my experience, people would be more understanding if you were just like: "yo I'm hetero and I like to write hetero romances" - cool fine. I

"I don't know how" - lgbtq people are these odd creatures that science has yet to fully explain, how am I supposed to get into their heads?

 

[nerdy tangents]

Melpomene exactly it’s like listen we are already using our imagination to some extent to make up these characters. Unless literally all of your character are just you in a wig in X plot (in which case tbh just say that no one is gonna care).

It’s so weird when people act like everyone outside their own little box is a space alien. Like nah people are defined way more by society and their personality then whatever internalized issues you have been taught.

** case in point think of your siblings. Are you all tiny clones or are you all distinct people? Well same goes for other groups of similar individuals. **

 

[sevyn]

Idk, some people refuse to do hetero pairings and I don't see how that is any different from people who refuse to do queer pairings (unless said person is actively being homophobic or something).

yeah, that’s why i said… both are weird to me, esp if you’re doubling. and most of the time when people refuse to do queer pairings, it’s because they’re alienating queer couples [in media], hence… why people say that it feels homophobic.

Maybe they are saying "they don't know how" because it sounds more amiable than just saying they don't want to do it because it makes them uncomfortable. the latter reason more likely to bring them flak from community members looking to start problems where there aren't any. But in reality, people are allowed to like and not like whatever they want. If someone is uncomfortable writing non-hetero pairings, that's their right to feel that way. And there isn't anything wrong with it as long as they aren't bashing on other people for doing so.

they both sound bad obviously i’m not going to write with people who alienate Any gender pairing ( i have all kinds of pairings, so it’d be a nuisance to deal with ) but that doesn’t mean i can’t find it strange… because it is, at least to me.

you can obviously do whatever you wanna do, but to me, it kinda makes me side eye people who say things like that.

 

[Murdergurl]

Yeah imo "I don't know how" sounds less amiable.

In my experience, people would be more understanding if you were just like: "yo I'm hetero and I like to write hetero romances" - cool fine. I

"I don't know how" - lgbtq people are these odd creatures that science has yet to fully explain, how am I supposed to get into their heads?

you'd think so. but the fact that they are skirting the issue means they've probably been berated over not being "open" to things and have probably been harassed over it. I know I have, and I've seen it on a lot of various sites over the years. So I get where these people are coming from.

 

[Jannah]

you'd think so. but the fact that they are skirting the issue means they've probably been berated over not being "open" to things and have probably been harassed over it. I know I have, and I've seen it on a lot of various sites over the years. So I get where these people are coming from.

There does definitely seem to be an assumption that people who don't write MxM or FxF relationships in their RP's are homophobic. I don't doubt that some of them are, but that's not always the case. I personally tend to write MxF romance in most of my RP's as it's just what I prefer. Most of the time on this particular site it happens to be between cishet characters, but I wouldn't really care if a partner proposed doing a MxF ship with a bisexual or something. I have personally written plenty of MxF relationships elsewhere where my characters were bisexual. In fact, the vast majority of my characters are probably bisexual simply because it allows for more flexibility when it comes to romantic pairings.

 

[Rosebudxo]

When too many people want to only role-play two characters and only focus on romance, in spite what I mention in my searches. Especially when it comes to fandoms. I'm a little more relaxed in my original role-plays, but even then I still want there to be more then 2-4 characters involved. So I like there to be even more then that for certain fandoms, depending on the plot. I want a dynamic cast and interwoven sub-plots, whether it's original or not. I don't just want romance and this has been very frustrating for me to find.

 

[nerdy tangents]

I misread that as “everyone wants one of two roles in a group setting” and I was like uugggh don’t remind me. I used to do fandom groups and that was such a pain in the ass. Everyone wanting to do the role closest to the original protagonist and it’s like…

There are six to eight roles we gotta fill before we start. You can’t all be the Slayer in a Buffy roleplay some of you are gonna have to play a witch or a watcher or something else.

usually villains were easiest to get followed by whoever the players thought should be the main character. It’s why I stopped doing those kind of franchises cuz people just could not let go of the idea their character was the sole protagonist.

 

[Genii]

no one wanting to rp good ol’ zombie apocalypses anymore

I’d be up for that.

 

[Walliver]

Barely getting a post in on an rp, having high hopes, and then having to stop for any reason

 

[Inno]

The inability to actually take time to develop not only a good plot but the characters as well. I'm not going to say all of who I've come into contact with but a majority want to rush everything. Most especially, if there is any, the damn romance before characters really get to know one another. I get it. Time is a factor. But that's no reason to piece together some trash to throw an actual good story to the side in favor of post after post of some crappy low effort so called romance.
Does anyone want to tell a story these days?

 

[Walliver]

The inability to actually take time to develop not only a good plot but the characters as well. I'm not going to say all of who I've come into contact with but a majority want to rush everything. Most especially, if there is any, the damn romance before characters really get to know one another. I get it. Time is a factor. But that's no reason to piece together some trash to throw an actual good story to the side in favor of post after post of some crappy low effort so called romance.
Does anyone want to tell a story these days?

Oh my gosh, yes!
It’s like the concept of a good, rich story is thrown completely out the window once romance is even suggested!

 

[Inno]

Oh my gosh, yes!
It’s like the concept of a good, rich story is thrown completely out the window once romance is even suggested!

I don't mind romance, I just don't want it THREE posts in! Or someone throwing a tantrum because I'm ignoring all their character's advances at my character right after they introduce themselves. Give me a freaking story. Give me character development only then will we see what happens and not a moment sooner.

 

[nerdy tangents]

Tbh I wouldn’t even call those rps romance. Because romance IS a story/plot. It’s not like romance novels are 200 pages of the characters monologuing about their partners respective hotness. Even bargain bin trashy harlequin books have a plot. It might not be a particularly complicated plot or written well but it at the bare minimum exists.,

 

[Walliver]

I don't mind romance, I just don't want it THREE posts in! Or someone throwing a tantrum because I'm ignoring all their character's advances at my character right after they introduce themselves. Give me a freaking story. Give me character development only then will we see what happens and not a moment sooner.

Romance, in my opinion, should never be the main focus (unless you’re writing a soulmate au or somethin) because romance doesn’t usually occur irl until people know each other. I can think someone is attractive when I see them, but I’m not in love until I’ve at least talked to them 5+ times. It’s just bad writing at that point

 

[Inno]

Tbh I wouldn’t even call those rps romance. Because romance IS a story/plot. It’s not like romance novels are 200 pages of the characters monologuing about their partners respective hotness. Even bargain bin trashy harlequin books have a plot. It might not be a particularly complicated plot or written well but it at the bare minimum exists.,

Not in my book it's not. It's not something that the whole plot is revolved around. For me, it is a point that could happen between characters. If it doesn't, it doesn't. The story still continues regardless. That's how I feel about it.

 

[nerdy tangents]

Romance, in my opinion, should never be the main focus (unless you’re writing a soulmate au or somethin) because romance doesn’t usually occur irl until people know each other. I can think someone is attractive when I see them, but I’m not in love until I’ve at least talked to them 5+ times. It’s just bad writing at that point

I think romance can be a main storyline (again see romance genre of books/TV) but you have to understand romance is not “we fell in love at first sight.” That’s some fairy tale shit and even then it’s usually accompanied by some kind of moral lesson your supposed to learn.

Edit ::: Like the Cinderella story doesn’t end the moment she sets eyes on the Prince. She still has to overcome some obstacles to get to be “happily ever after.”

Writing a romance is actually writing falling in love and yeah that is supposed to happen over the course of the story. It has some kind of three act structure with the final act ending in the happily ever send off.

The problem is some people don’t want to write romance but rather an ego boost. They want to have someone to make them feel special through their characters. Or give them some kind of emotional validation (kinda depends on the individual writer).

 

[nerdy tangents]

Harlequin novels are actually good examples of how to do this. They usually have some kind of gimmick (example lady is stuck in the mountains and man rescues her).

Okay pretty thin plot but hey surviving in the wilderness does still count.

And usually there is an arc (meet cute where they both internally think each other is hot but don’t say anything because their strangers and also gimmick). Middle point where one of them admits

 

[Inno]

Romance, in my opinion, should never be the main focus (unless you’re writing a soulmate au or somethin) because romance doesn’t usually occur irl until people know each other. I can think someone is attractive when I see them, but I’m not in love until I’ve at least talked to them 5+ times. It’s just bad writing at that point

True. To be honest, I don't think even in a soulmate au, I would make it the center point at all. What's the point of doing something like that when you don't even see what would make the characters be soulmates? They just have to be together or whatever. You're right though. I don't think some people seem to get that.

 

[Jannah]

I think romance can be a main storyline (again see romance genre of books/TV) but you have to understand romance is not “we fell in love at first sight.” That’s some fairy tale shit and even then it’s usually accompanied by some kind of moral lesson your supposed to learn.

Edit ::: Like the Cinderella story doesn’t end the moment she sets eyes on the Prince. She still has to overcome some obstacles to get to be “happily ever after.”

Writing a romance is actually writing falling in love and yeah that is supposed to happen over the course of the story. It has some kind of three act structure with the final act ending in the happily ever send off.

The problem is some people don’t want to write romance but rather an ego boost. They want to have someone to make them feel special through their characters. Or give them some kind of emotional validation (kinda depends on the individual writer).

Yea I have noticed this too. Rarely are romance RP's about a couple already in love. It seems to always be the act of falling in love. I'm guilty of this myself too. I guess there's a sort of thrill in that which makes for good storytelling.

 

[Walliver]

I just want
I just want to play a vampire
I want to go “nom nom” and also question my morality
and all of my vampire rps fall through
I am the sad

 

[UnhappyUnion]

I feel like saying "i dont know how" is ABSOLUTELY a cop-out. It just makes you look like a bad writer when you say that, tbh. it also implies you think that lgbt folk are way too different from cishet people to accurately write, when its just... another relationship. its like trying to say that men and women are just SO incredibly different from each other that there is no way for a man to understand a woman. which is problematic on a whole other level that i wont get into.

just be honest. if you only want to write m/f, then go for it. it doesn't even have to be "cishet" because bi and trans people can be in m/f relationships. i would only say it would be kinda weird if someone was refusing to let their roleplay partner's character be trans or bisexual after agreeing to m/f. other than that, who cares? write what you like.

Is it really that hard to wrap your head around that a player might want to do a hetero m/f pairing with no trans or bisexual pairing? At that point, it's pretty clear you don't care about your partners intents and wants for the RP.

I don't do pairings with trans characters. When people try to shoehorn in a trans character it shows me that they don't really care about what I want.

 

[Jannah]

Is it really that hard to wrap your head around that a player might want to do a hetero m/f pairing with no trans or bisexual pairing? At that point, it's pretty clear you don't care about your partners intents and wants for the RP.

I don't do pairings with trans characters. When people try to shoehorn in a trans character it shows me that they don't really care about what I want.

I'm guessing this is a comfort thing? I have attempted to write trans characters before, but it's hard for me to do them justice without relying on common tropes and stereotypes.