Experiences Whats making you angry today? Rp pet peeves

[nerdy tangents]

QueenoftheTojo93 I think I get where your coming from. I see all these people acting like doubling is this magic cure all where everyone gets a fair shot at playing the characters they want.

The problem is it’s not a fair shot if you are being forced to play characters you don’t want to play. Making doubling a requirement is basically saying “I want you to play two love interests for me and I expect you to be grateful for it.”

Like no I am not required to be grateful to anyone forcing me to play a character I don’t want to play. It isn’t fair, it’s just entitled in a different way.

I have absolutely ran into people who require doubling and literally don’t let me pick either character I’m playing. I tell them flat out “hey if you want me to play character X that’s fine. I don’t want or need you to play anyone for me.”

But all I get back is “but whose your love interest? Who do you want me to play for you? You have to pick a love interest.”

And it’s like I explicitly told you I don’t want to or need you to play another character. Stop harassing me about it.

So yeah I think there is a very big different in being asked something and having it demanded of you. Because if you have to demand your partner play a character then it’s not about fairness, it’s about you getting what you want.

Asking is always better as it means that you adjust to what your partner actually wants rather than assuming everyone has the same hang ups about characters you do.

Like some people are happier playing canons or males or whatever. They shouldn’t be forced into arbitrary ratios just because the requester thinks some characters are better/easier to write then others.

 

[Cosmo]

Personally I despise character sheets. I'm the type of RPer who likes to reveal their characters as the stories progress. It's hard for me to fully form a character before I even get a chance to write them in the story anyway. I need to write them out, get a full feel for their personality. Usually the only aspect I can determine before a RP begins are their histories.

That's interesting, I love character sheets. Because, for me, that character sheet is, well, more for me then it is for anyone else which is why I tend to make them a bit long in the tooth. If an RP goes on for months or even longer, I can easily 'lose' the original concept of the character I had in mind, so being able to skip back over and reread the character sheet, what my idea and concept for them was, what ideas I had for ways they could grow, etc, help me 'get back into' the character and improve the following post. Or even if I am in multiple RPs, being able to 'brush up' on the character before posting is a really big refresher.

 

[Peryton]

nerdy tangents I think maybe we’ve had very different experiences doubling. I would never, ever force someone to play a character they didn’t want to play. If I’m doubling with someone, I first ask who THEY are comfortable playing. If no one, I generally then suggest an OC x OC rp. That way everyone still gets to play the characters they want! Dictating who others MUST play ain’t cool.

 

[QueenoftheTojo93]

QueenoftheTojo93 I think I get where your coming from. I see all these people acting like doubling is this magic cure all where everyone gets a fair shot at playing the characters they want.

The problem is it’s not a fair shot if you are being forced to play characters you don’t want to play. Making doubling a requirement is basically saying “I want you to play two love interests for me and I expect you to be grateful for it.”

Like no I am not required to be grateful to anyone forcing me to play a character I don’t want to play. It isn’t fair, it’s just entitled in a different way.

I have absolutely ran into people who require doubling and literally don’t let me pick either character I’m playing. I tell them flat out “hey if you want me to play character X that’s fine. I don’t want or need you to play anyone for me.”

But all I get back is “but whose your love interest? Who do you want me to play for you? You have to pick a love interest.”

And it’s like I explicitly told you I don’t want to or need you to play another character. Stop harassing me about it.

So yeah I think there is a very big different in being asked something and having it demanded of you. Because if you have to demand your partner play a character then it’s not about fairness, it’s about you getting what you want.

Asking is always better as it means that you adjust to what your partner actually wants rather than assuming everyone has the same hang ups about characters you do.

Like some people are happier playing canons or males or whatever. They shouldn’t be forced into arbitrary ratios just because the requester thinks some characters are better/easier to write then others.

Thank you exactly! This is exactly the point I was trying to get across!

 

[Hootle]

I only skimmed a bit of the last couple of responses but I did catch doubling. Seems everyone has their own different experiences with it. I personally can't stand it. I'm more speaking about non-fandom roleplays and doubling just for the sake of romance. Having me play the character a person wants and them insisting on playing a character for me

The experiences I've had are: some, this is not about anyone here--I don't know a lot of people--so no offense, females I've encountered will only write for female characters--nothing wrong with that. You have to do what you have to do--and not be good writing for male characters, according to them. They will however be willing to double to play a secondary pairing which includes playing a male character.....

But I thought you said weren't good at playing male characters?

And this so called secondary pairing is just a filler of sorts, something to help add words to a post. I don't mind playing a certain gender romantic or not. I just rather not have someone play a character they really don't want to play just to feel like they need to do me any kind of favors especially if they're not going to put 100 percent into it like they would the character they want to play.

 

[Peryton]

I don't care about doubling at all if it's not a fandom role play. I tend to bring a ton of characters to role plays because I like to, but I don't expect my partner to meet me character for character. Romance also doesn't matter to me-- Found family is one of my favorite tropes, actually.

I see a lot of people bringing up doubling for the sake of "equal ratios", but I've never experienced this. Maybe it's something that happens more with less experienced writers? That's not me trying to pat myself on the back, but in my experience, people with more writing experience tend to be more "eh, whatever" about which gender they play and ergo don't care about ratios.

My issue is when you're doing a fandom role play, and someone wants you to play a canon character for them but doesn't want to return the favor-- But then also doesn't want to just use OCs. I'm perfectly happy doing OC x OC if someone doesn't want to double in a fandom based rp.

 

[Stray Cat]

It seems a lot of people are having the same problem. Not too long ago, I met a potential long-term partner here; they had a great prompt I was dying to try. I adored their characters and they seemingly adored mine. We plotted for days before moving to Discord. I replied to their starter and they expressed how excited they were to respond. Then, there was radio silence. I decided not to poke them since they mentioned they have quite the busy schedule. Fine, today when I go to check the server I see they deleted it. Not only am I heartbroken, but this is the second time I've tried writing with this person, and they did the same thing. I just don't get what I'm doing wrong with people. :/

 

[Katya]

It seems a lot of people are having the same problem. Not too long ago, I met a potential long-term partner here; they had a great prompt I was dying to try. I adored their characters and they seemingly adored mine. We plotted for days before moving to Discord. I replied to their starter and they expressed how excited they were to respond. Then, there was radio silence. I decided not to poke them since they mentioned they have quite the busy schedule. Fine, today when I go to check the server I see they deleted it. Not only am I heartbroken, but this is the second time I've tried writing with this person, and they did the same thing. I just don't get what I'm doing wrong with people. :/

Its never you hug

 

[nerdy tangents]

Peryton but to be fair not everyone minds playing canons. In the same way there are people who are perfectly happy to play males, there are others who are happy to play canons.

So it really just comes down to “I don’t want to play this character role.”

Which is fine since there are people who are happy to play opposite any role without really caring what their partners play.

I think doubling should never be about everyone getting to play the character they really want. If you don’t want to play a canon then don’t write one. Someone else will be happy to take the canon instead.

 

[AccioProphecy]

People who just want to RP their craved "scenarios". After that particular scenario is done, the RP is done.
You can't even get through to them anymore to talk about continuing it.

lol I feel like I always just vent here when something with my RPs go wrong.

 

[Aquanette]

This is more of a site issue I suppose but I was looking over a post I made and noticed a mistake as one does. It wasn't a big mistake it was just that I had written write instead of wrote so I attempted to edit this small mistake but then a notification kept popping up saying that I could not submit it because it was seen as spam or spam-like and I'm just trying to figure out how? I'm literally changing a single word so how is the word "wrote" anywhere near being spam?

 

[deer]

This is more of a site issue I suppose but I was looking over a post I made and noticed a mistake as one does. It wasn't a big mistake it was just that I had written write instead of wrote so I attempted to edit this small mistake but then a notification kept popping up saying that I could not submit it because it was seen as spam or spam-like and I'm just trying to figure out how? I'm literally changing a single word so how is the word "wrote" anywhere near being spam?

It most likely have to do with being a new member and only having 3 messages on your account. I believe after having at least 10 messages on your account the spam content filter would stop.

I quoted this from our FAQ if this helps a bit regarding getting messages such as 'spam' and/or needing 'moderator approval' for a post you're making, etc.:

I can't send a message because it keeps telling me it's spam, why is this happening?
Until new members reach a certain amount of posts they have their content strictly monitored for specific words, phrases, and other factors. If you are trying to send a PM and get this message about spam, there is something within it triggering the filter. If you are posting something on the forums, the Staff will have to manually review it before approving or declining it.

My post says it is waiting for moderator approval, what does that mean?
New members have their content go through a filter which puts it into a moderation queue. A Staff member has to manually review any posts flagged by this system - which can happen due to certain keywords, phrases, or spambot behaviors. As this is a manual process it can take time for content in the queue to be reviewed.

 

[Cosmo]

Always annoyed when there isn't any communication. Like... If you can't post, just let everyone else know you can't post for awhile. Its way better then just silence, for them and for you.

 

[candygore]

God, i hate when you're in the planning stage of the rp and your partner just isn't returning your energy. like, i'd rather you just ghost me because you're boring me too at this point

 

[Melpomene]

God, i fucking hate when you're in the planning stage of the rp and your partner just isn't returning your energy. like, i'd rather you just ghost me because you're boring me too at this point

I hate it because I am sitting there wondering if they are even excited to RP with me. Like, when I RP with someone I want them to be having as much fun as I am, so if I feel like they aren't and are just doing this because they showed interest and feel like they have to commit, it kinda dampens my mood.

But that might be my anxiety talking lol.

 

[candygore]

I hate it because I am sitting there wondering if they are even excited to RP with me. Like, when I RP with someone I want them to be having as much fun as I am, so if I feel like they aren't and are just doing this because they showed interest and feel like they have to commit, it kinda dampens my mood.

But that might be my anxiety talking lol.

no no no, definitely not the anxiety. i totally get you. gahhh i just want someone to squeal over the characters/headcanons as much as i do TT

 

[Onmyoji]

Sometimes I can squeal over characters and headcanons but can't write them, not sure what's worse lol

Anyway, not really making me angry, more like a minor per peeve, when I see an insanely huge list of fandoms in search thread, like 30-50 or so. Can someone really be invested enough in ALL of these fandoms? I'm usually interested in fairly niche fandoms and when I see them listed I'm like -yay!-.... but if I see that fandom is just one line in a list of 50 I have doubts that it could be a fandom the person is interested enough in playing, surely out of those 50 there are some that are more fun for them than others and would it be this one? It makes me less inclined to contact them about it.

 

[Katya]

Always annoyed when there isn't any communication. Like... If you can't post, just let everyone else know you can't post for awhile. Its way better then just silence, for them and for you.

I feel that communication is always valuable. However, once you put a label of a " you must communicate with me" or " you must not ditch". It gets really difficult for people who work a schedule like three twelve-hour shifts and then five days off. Or perhaps a full forty-eight-hour shift. Maybe communicate that ahead of time that it's a deal-breaker for you. I enjoy role plays with little communication and slow-paced writing becuase it works with my health care work schedule.( 12 hour shifts) I guess it depends on the group too.


I'm always ditch-friendly becuase I'll often just continue the story even if it's with no one's input. Role plays have always had dips and weird evolutions of communication and solid communication. It just part of the play and if it gets to someone too personally. It might be a time to step away from role playing. I've def had to do that

 

[Cosmo]

I feel that communication is always valuable. However, once you put a label of a " you must communicate with me" or " you must not ditch". It gets really difficult for people who work a schedule like three twelve-hour shifts and then five days off. Or perhaps a full forty-eight-hour shift. Maybe communicate that ahead of time that it's a deal-breaker for you. I enjoy role plays with little communication and slow-paced writing becuase it works with my health care work schedule.( 12 hour shifts) I guess it depends on the group too.


I'm always ditch-friendly becuase I'll often just continue the story even if it's with no one's input. Role plays have always had dips and weird evolutions of communication and solid communication. It just part of the play and if it gets to someone too personally. It might be a time to step away from role playing. I've def had to do that

I'd put that 'Hey, I work a 48 hour shift, so for a decent chunk of the week, I'ma be out often and won't be easy to contact' falls under 'communication'. When I say communication, I don't mean be hitting up each other's PMs and discord every other hour or day, because that sounds exhausting to me, just giving the other person a heads up when you're going to be out, when you can't post, when you just aren't feeling it, when you are going to leave [Say, hey, I'm sorry, I just am RPed out for awhile, and so will be taking a break, to me, is better then ghosting, for everyone involved].

 

[Katya]

I'd put that 'Hey, I work a 48 hour shift, so for a decent chunk of the week, I'ma be out often and won't be easy to contact' falls under 'communication'. When I say communication, I don't mean be hitting up each other's PMs and discord every other hour or day, because that sounds exhausting to me, just giving the other person a heads up when you're going to be out, when you can't post, when you just aren't feeling it, when you are going to leave [Say, hey, I'm sorry, I just am RPed out for awhile, and so will be taking a break, to me, is better then ghosting, for everyone involved].

It's about setting up communication boundaries beforehand and creating a baseline rather than expectations.
Expectations often get in the way of goals. So you just got to be proactive in the communication like you said. But makes sure those conversations are taken care of beforehand. We are always so eager to jump into role-playing we forget people have boundaries when it comes to communication and some serious expectations. Which there is nothing wrong with. ( sounds contradictory to my point but when you have the same expectations it works) It's just if you have an rp and everyone is not on the same line.

Yeah I empathize it's frustrating but negating unrealistic expectations is good too but you don't seem to have those

 

[DamnTheStyx]

People not taking the hint to stop messaging me after I’ve cordially said I don’t enjoy this anymore. Like, I explicitly said that I didn’t want to do this no more, but then some guy just goes selectively blind and not even a day later I’m getting bombed by stuff like: “Hey! Are you gonna respond soon?”
No you daft buffoon! I literally said goodbye and apparently now I’m the bad guy for breaking things off when it was fizzling to a point of maybe two lines each.

The writing style that’s pretty much just like “I assume you do xyz, right?” And we don’t even interact IC or anything! It’s like you’re actively being railroaded in a game or something, except you pretty much only change the characters outfit and maybe one or two things. If you’re gonna “RP” (heavy air quotes) this way, I may as well just read a novel instead of this. For one thing, it’s actually better writing then whatever Fuster-Cluck I’m watching.

 

[Katya]

People not taking the hint to stop messaging me after I’ve cordially said I don’t enjoy this anymore. Like, I explicitly said that I didn’t want to do this no more, but then some guy just goes selectively blind and not even a day later I’m getting bombed by stuff like: “Hey! Are you gonna respond soon?”
No you daft buffoon! I literally said goodbye and apparently now I’m the bad guy for breaking things off when it was fizzling to a point of maybe two lines each.

The writing style that’s pretty much just like “I assume you do xyz, right?” And we don’t even interact IC or anything! It’s like you’re actively being railroaded in a game or something, except you pretty much only change the characters outfit and maybe one or two things. If you’re gonna “RP” (heavy air quotes) this way, I may as well just read a novel instead of this. For one thing, it’s actually better writing then whatever Fuster-Cluck I’m watching.

I feel this and this is often what I am referring to when people need to get the hint of people's boundaries.

I too have had this happen on several occasions. Literally, I would write back "uhhmmmm I have not logged in for four weeks and I told you five weeks ago I wasn't interested...whats the jello.."
I don't label someone as evil or bad for dipping out of something they are no longer interested in. It's part of being human. Another part of being human and a writer is flexibility. If you are not flexible as a writer then role-plays often die if someone drops. Gotta be respectful people have likes and dislikes. Communicating deal breakers is important and often avoids hiccups.

I usually communicate my role plays are always drop-friendly. Becuase I make it clear I or someone may be replacing your character. You get that freedom. I just have my flexible ways of working with it.

 

[ONI]

People not taking the hint to stop messaging me afte—

Literally, I would write bac—

 

[Katya]

righ my face perminamtly etched onto a screen with confusion

 

[Katya]

righ my face perminamtly etched onto a screen with confusion

But usually Im not phases by it just miffed. Not even annoyed but like meh