Jet
Uncultured
"When I was three I assassinated my parents. My Yakuza connect in nursery school set the job. I had no idea it was them when I 360 scissor kicked their heads off. Most would care if orphaned at 3 and more would lose it if they did the job; but me? Sorry I'm built different — those fuckers never loved me anyway. I got left with the nanny as they "worked hard to provide a future" but all their working was for scraps. Just look at the paltry inheritance left to me, only 1.8 billion dollars after taxes. I had to settle for a Batcave instead of a Tony Stark lab and for that I'll never forgive. Every morning when I make cheerios with lamb blood I curse their names.
Since that fateful scissor kick I've trained in the art of Shun-po and bullshit. I can slice a watermelon in half perfectly, and my accuracy with a handgun is 102% with a 2% margin for error. I've become the perfect human weapon capable of destroying cities and I've spent my spare time learning to hack. Not only can I collapse your skull with a single finger; I can also collapse stock markets in four minutes with a Nintendo switch connected to McDonald's wifi.
Despite being an actual Instagram model with a 288 IQ, I'm socially withdrawn and can barely string sentences when talking to girls UWU. Despite my complete lack of capability with girls I have a harem army that feeds me grapes off the vine and carries my chair. They often fight gladiator style to earn the spot by my side — but I hate the world and everything about this false society. I hate God even more, God is such an asshole. If ever see him I'm going to unleash my hidden bloodline power. It's an all original ocular move that lights people on fire instantly. The flames are black and can't be extinguished on top of being undodgable, it's such a unique move.
With that on my side? Good luck "Jesus" - the Romans took you down once already and I could callapse that empire with a butter knife.
But why won't anyone interact with me IC?"
(I'm bored yo, off-season shit post. Jokes aside all the wish fulfillment Billy badasses need to go. Hope your quarantine is at least 1% better after reading this)
Since that fateful scissor kick I've trained in the art of Shun-po and bullshit. I can slice a watermelon in half perfectly, and my accuracy with a handgun is 102% with a 2% margin for error. I've become the perfect human weapon capable of destroying cities and I've spent my spare time learning to hack. Not only can I collapse your skull with a single finger; I can also collapse stock markets in four minutes with a Nintendo switch connected to McDonald's wifi.
Despite being an actual Instagram model with a 288 IQ, I'm socially withdrawn and can barely string sentences when talking to girls UWU. Despite my complete lack of capability with girls I have a harem army that feeds me grapes off the vine and carries my chair. They often fight gladiator style to earn the spot by my side — but I hate the world and everything about this false society. I hate God even more, God is such an asshole. If ever see him I'm going to unleash my hidden bloodline power. It's an all original ocular move that lights people on fire instantly. The flames are black and can't be extinguished on top of being undodgable, it's such a unique move.
With that on my side? Good luck "Jesus" - the Romans took you down once already and I could callapse that empire with a butter knife.
But why won't anyone interact with me IC?"
(I'm bored yo, off-season shit post. Jokes aside all the wish fulfillment Billy badasses need to go. Hope your quarantine is at least 1% better after reading this)
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