Viewpoint What are red flag(s) in Roleplay ads for you?

[Lyrae]

Applies to Roleplay ads for Group, OnexOne, Dice, Nation, Quest, etc. Please do not name specific usernames, link to specific users/their ads, and/or copy and paste content from users and/or ads. That out of the way, I'm curious: What are some major red flags to you when it comes to Roleplay ads?

 

[Solivagante]

First off, I think it's worth distinguishing between 'red flags' and just 'not for me' flags - I self-select out of any group RP with a mandatory Discord, for example. Things I would qualify as actual red flags include:

• Demanding a particularly high posting frequency. I think it's fine to have expectations or to specifically look for someone who will post a lot, but an attitude of 'if you don't post 2x per day you're not worth my time' would be a big red flag.
• Acting like RPing with them is a privilege or a job for which you need to apply, rather than a test of mutual compatibility. Asking for samples without sharing any, talking themselves up, emphasizing how critical they will be of potential partners. RP is more like speed dating than a job application! Chat with someone, see if you vibe, maybe go from there.
• Not being willing to play LGBTQ+ characters. In some cases this is just a 'not for me' because they're looking for something (ie het romance) that doesn't interest me. In others, it's bad vibes. Especially people who will play one sort of queer character but specifically not another... often smells of fetishization.

 

[GrumpySwallow]

A poor attitude in the rules/RP requirements list will immediately turn me away. Things such as, "500 words minimum! If you can't meet this number, which is very easy to do, don't even bother!" or "Proper punctuation and spelling are a must! I like to know that my players have at least graduated elementary school!"

An explanation for the rules is fine, but there's no reason to be a jerk about it.

 

[Onmyoji]

I share the sentiment that general tone of the ad can be a red flag. If it sounds condescending or reeks of elitism, for example.

A very barebones ad. It's also a "not for me" flag, but when the entire ad is like "I want rp" and nothing else, no info on what you want to rp etc, makes me think the rp wouldn't last beyond the "Hi" message.

Straight-up trauma dumping and complaining how all previous rp went bad. It's okay if it comes up later in conversation, but if complaints in the rp ad are bigger than the rp ad itself, makes me wonder if the rp wouldn't end up walking on eggshells so that you don't end up as the next "bad rp partner".

 

[Edythir]

I know I am a bit odd for this but, the great big list of pairings out of context, setting or theme. Like, do you want Vampire x Werewolf? Cool. Is it modern? Fantasy? Gothic? Victorian? All of those color the RP much more than just "Vampire x Werewolf".

Another one is just a quirk of my brain. I am sort of the opinion that the more things you are interested in, the more that interest is spread thin. Honestly enthusiasm is infectious and the more you have listed, the less enthusiastic you are going to be about doing pairing #15 versus pairing #3. So when you just have a great big wall of pairings in isolation I just lose interests. Give some settings, some themes, some lore, prompts, hooks. Even just a one sentence "werewolf bikers crash a vampire rave" or something along those lines.

 

[AaronMk]

You gotta have a map. Even if it's borrowed from some DeviantArt map artist or from a Paradox game. But the map also has to make basic sense, you have to be readily able to establish the relationship of location between two or three positions at least. Natural boundaries like mountains can be a secondary.

This is more to do with my forte being Nation RP/Nation Building. A map is essential. No one is showing the shapes of things here. I don't care about the where's of dudes; that's group RP

 

[davy]

I didn't know if I had any, but then just today passed on messaging somebody because the character sheet had "gender: genuine biological female," or something like that. Obviously there's nothing wrong with having female characters who aren't trans (I'd like to see more female characters and writers of any sort in my group, to balance things out), but that specific phrasing gave me an off vibe.

 

[Lyrae]

I didn't know if I had any, but then just today passed on messaging somebody because the character sheet had "gender: genuine biological female," or something like that. Obviously there's nothing wrong with having female characters who aren't trans (I'd like to see more female characters and writers of any sort in my group, to balance things out), but that specific phrasing gave me an off vibe.

I can see why. It comes across as transphobic to me, unintentionally or not. It's much easier (and better) to say "Ciswoman" or "cisfemale" (though even using the word "female" sometimes gives me the ick).

 

[Talin]

-the ad includes passive-agressive remarks that are clearly aimed at a former partner the person had a falling-out with.
-the ad places too much emphasis on a potential partners gender/sexual orientation and so on. I get that many women have bad experiences with men, that is not what I'm talking about. More stuff like 'I don't want any female partners, they are so dramatic.', or thinking that every women is a better romance writer/every man is talented when it comes to writing combat scenes...and so on. Not all of my characters are super masculine, for example. I don't really want to deal with expectations just because of my gender. And things like my sexual orientation and all that stuff are just far too personal for me to answer. It's a story, after all. My characters can be ace, gay, bi, non-binary and so on, even if I'm not. It's a story, after all.
-the ad talks badly about genres the writer is not personally a fan of. I get it, I rarely write slice of life, and I'm not really interested in romance. That doesn't mean I have to act like people who write that stuff are less creative, stupid, or are not 'real roleplayers' or anything like that. It's the same when it comes to differences in reply length. People like different things, and that is okay.
-In general, ads that are full of negativity. I want to read something about the things you are enthusiastic about, what you love, what you want to write. Not endless paragraphs about what you hate.
-any ad that includes racism, transphobia, homophobia...all that stuff is an instant no, even if I like the idea in general-

 

[Bacon is fluffy]

Mostly how easy it is to talk to the gm running the game. Both casually and for rp purposes. As soon as i see someone power trip, I just don't have an interest in participating.

 

[gator]

Literate RP. If someone is illiterate, they can't read or write, so they certainly can't roleplay with you on this website, or any other. Don't demand literacy if you yourself don't know the meanings of the words you use.

Similarly, referring to yourself as a literate or "para" roleplayer when you don't know what an apostrophe is for, or the difference between a possessive noun, a plural noun, and a possessive pronoun. Or when you can't be bothered to write the word "paragraph". Don't present yourself as a skilled impressive writer with exacting standards if you can't even be bothered to respect your own language. If you actually don't know these things, stop writing your interest check about an abusive master slave werewolf vampire 50 shades of grey relationship (you're 14 years old and shouldn't be on this website) and look them up. The knowledge is free. If you don't possess it, the only reason you don't is because you don't actually care enough - about your hobby, and about the other people you communicate with - to do so.

 

[Talin]

Literate RP. If someone is illiterate, they can't read or write, so they certainly can't roleplay with you on this website, or any other. Don't demand literacy if you yourself don't know the meanings of the words you use.

Similarly, referring to yourself as a literate or "para" roleplayer when you don't know what an apostrophe is for, or the difference between a possessive noun, a plural noun, and a possessive pronoun. Or when you can't be bothered to write the word "paragraph". Don't present yourself as a skilled impressive writer with exacting standards if you can't even be bothered to respect your own language. If you actually don't know these things, stop writing your interest check about an abusive master slave werewolf vampire 50 shades of grey relationship (you're 14 years old and shouldn't be on this website) and look them up. The knowledge is free. If you don't possess it, the only reason you don't is because you don't actually care enough - about your hobby, and about the other people you communicate with - to do so.

Sorry, I'm a bit confused (I'm a German writer trying to get more familiar with English roleplaying terms). Isn't literate, semi-literate and all that stuff just a different way to refer to how many words you write (and sometimes, how extensive your vocabulary is), and so 'illiterate' isn't meant to be taken in a literal way? I didn't know it carried such negative connotations. Same with shortening paragraph to para.
What would be better ways to convey this in an interest check? Simply using word count and explaining that English isn't my first language, for example?

 

[Bacon is fluffy]

Sorry, I'm a bit confused (I'm a German writer trying to get more familiar with English roleplaying terms). Isn't literate, semi-literate and all that stuff just a different way to refer to how many words you write (and sometimes, how extensive your vocabulary is), and so 'illiterate' isn't meant to be taken in a literal way? I didn't know it carried such negative connotations. Same with shortening paragraph to para.
What would be better ways to convey this in an interest check? Simply using word count and explaining that English isn't my first language, for example?

Literate is a snobby way of saying advanced.

 

[Ayama]

Sorry, I'm a bit confused (I'm a German writer trying to get more familiar with English roleplaying terms). Isn't literate, semi-literate and all that stuff just a different way to refer to how many words you write (and sometimes, how extensive your vocabulary is), and so 'illiterate' isn't meant to be taken in a literal way? I didn't know it carried such negative connotations. Same with shortening paragraph to para.
What would be better ways to convey this in an interest check? Simply using word count and explaining that English isn't my first language, for example?

This has actually been a topic of some debate for a few years now. Many of us older RPers come from the days when, in forum RP, the definitions 'literate' and 'semi-literate' were indeed used to refer to post length and were essentially ubiquitous in pretty much any interest check.

While these terms do, in fact, still remain largely the norm, there has been in recent years more of a pushback against the terms due to various reasons such as their vagueness, as well as their implications/connotations.

There's actually a thread on here with a great discussion on the topic, where users debated the merits and drawbacks of the 'literate'/'semi-literate' nomenclature, with some cool suggestions on alternatives which standardized definitions and were free of those negative connotations.

Feel free to give it a read.

While the terms proposed there haven't exactly caught on, I am still hopeful that we are slowly but surely moving in the direction of clearer/less 'judgy' definitions, as the entitled, elitist spirit that ruled RP forums at the height of the 'literate'/'semi-literate'/'lazy literate' heyday has definitely given way to a culture that is more accepting of diversity in writing abilities and preferences.

All that being said... yes, the terms 'literate' and 'semi-literate' on RP websites are used to indicate post length- not literal literacy levels. While many people still use them, many also have issues with their vagueness, elitist connotations, &/or actual meaning. Similar to how some can have issues with things like shortening 'paragraph' to 'para' (while I think the hobby has gotten far more welcoming and inclusive, I do think there is irony in a self-designation as being 'literate' in the same breath as a identifying yourself as 'multi-para', but that is because I am an oldschool elitist at heart and my formative RP years embedded such things into my soul ;P ).

TLDR: If you feel most comfortable using the 'novella'/'literate'/'semi-literate'/'lazy lit' nomenclature in your interest checks, that is completely your choice. If you want to explore some alternatives, simply stating clear posting expectations/preferences without those terms (&/or maybe giving some of the proposed alternatives in that discussion thread a try) is also an option, and mentioning being a non-native speaker is, I think, always a good idea.

Anyways, my apologies for the mini-rant (I'm passionate about this subject), but I hope that provided at least some useful info (with possibly useless background/context). And also hope you're enjoying the site ^^

 

[Talin]

This has actually been a topic of some debate for a few years now. Many of us older RPers come from the days when, in forum RP, the definitions 'literate' and 'semi-literate' were indeed used to refer to post length and were essentially ubiquitous in pretty much any interest check.

While these terms do, in fact, still remain largely the norm, there has been in recent years more of a pushback against the terms due to various reasons such as their vagueness, as well as their implications/connotations.

There's actually a thread on here with a great discussion on the topic, where users debated the merits and drawbacks of the 'literate'/'semi-literate' nomenclature, with some cool suggestions on alternatives which standardized definitions and were free of those negative connotations.

Feel free to give it a read.

While the terms proposed there haven't exactly caught on, I am still hopeful that we are slowly but surely moving in the direction of clearer/less 'judgy' definitions, as the entitled, elitist spirit that ruled RP forums at the height of the 'literate'/'semi-literate'/'lazy literate' heyday has definitely given way to a culture that is more accepting of diversity in writing abilities and preferences.

All that being said... yes, the terms 'literate' and 'semi-literate' on RP websites are used to indicate post length- not literal literacy levels. While many people still use them, many also have issues with their vagueness, elitist connotations, &/or actual meaning. Similar to how some can have issues with things like shortening 'paragraph' to 'para' (while I think the hobby has gotten far more welcoming and inclusive, I do think there is irony in a self-designation as being 'literate' in the same breath as a identifying yourself as 'multi-para', but that is because I am an oldschool elitist at heart and my formative RP years embedded such things into my soul ;P ).

TLDR: If you feel most comfortable using the 'novella'/'literate'/'semi-literate'/'lazy lit' nomenclature in your interest checks, that is completely your choice. If you want to explore some alternatives, simply stating clear posting expectations/preferences without those terms (&/or maybe giving some of the proposed alternatives in that discussion thread a try) is also an option, and mentioning being a non-native speaker is, I think, always a good idea.

Anyways, my apologies for the mini-rant (I'm passionate about this subject), but I hope that provided at least some useful info (with possibly useless background/context). And also hope you're enjoying the site ^^

Oh okay, thank you for the kind explanation! Now I understand why it carries a bit of negative connotation, I just saw almost everyone using it and didn't really think about its origins. I personally don't really feel that comfortable using these terms any way (because I never quite figured out their exact meaning, it seemed to vary from person to person).

 

[Ayama]

Oh okay, thank you for the kind explanation! Now I understand why it carries a bit of negative connotation, I just saw almost everyone using it and didn't really think about its origins. I personally don't really feel that comfortable using these terms any way (because I never quite figured out their exact meaning, it seemed to vary from person to person).

You're welcome- glad it was helpful ^^

And yeah people who dislike the terms generally do because a) they're too vague, b) they have judgmental/elitist connotations &/or c) they can feel like an absurd antithesis of what they actually mean xD

 

[Cealen]

echoing what other said about people talking about past partners too much/coming off as being elitist, that’s the biggest killer for me with interest checks.

another thing that usually makes me side eye a rp is if it roles are already decided for us in a rp prompt. i dont mean indiciating preferences for certain roles but more saying “my character” and “your character” when describing the muses and saying “your character will be x personality and do y” or something along those lines. makes me feel like you want me to me to write just for your personal desires and you don’t care for me putting in my own creative input at all :/

this def isn’t something i see commonly anymore, or at least with the crowd rpnation draws in, but sometimes now and then i see it and go yeah no that’s not going to work out with me lol.

 

[gator]

Sorry, I'm a bit confused (I'm a German writer trying to get more familiar with English roleplaying terms). Isn't literate, semi-literate and all that stuff just a different way to refer to how many words you write (and sometimes, how extensive your vocabulary is), and so 'illiterate' isn't meant to be taken in a literal way? I didn't know it carried such negative connotations. Same with shortening paragraph to para.
What would be better ways to convey this in an interest check? Simply using word count and explaining that English isn't my first language, for example?

Yes, that's what they're used to mean, and the usage is wrong.

It's not socially acceptable to say "You have to have a large vocabulary to roleplay with me", and that would require people to actually define what qualifies as a large vocabulary, and then of course they would be expected to show that they can meet their own criteria. So it's easier to use a word that doesn't actually communicate anything, demand writing samples, and then reject people without ever defining any criteria for acceptance or rejection.

If you want to communicate "You have to write N words per post", you can write "You have to write N words per post" in your interest check.
If you want to communicate "You must have a vocabulary of X size or larger", you can write "You must have a vocabulary of X size or larger" in your interest check.

Of course, if people defined unambiguous, objective criteria in their interest checks, they would no longer have an excuse to reject any application without explaining the reason, which would make it more difficult to filter out any prospective partner that doesn't seem amenable to being a doormat for their purely self-interested erotic fantasies.

 

[Solivagante]

Yes, that's what they're used to mean, and the usage is wrong.

It's not socially acceptable to say "You have to have a large vocabulary to roleplay with me", and that would require people to actually define what qualifies as a large vocabulary, and then of course they would be expected to show that they can meet their own criteria. So it's easier to use a word that doesn't actually communicate anything, demand writing samples, and then reject people without ever defining any criteria for acceptance or rejection.

Okay, I'm gonna give you a bit of pushback here, mostly because I think you're interpreting lit/semi-lit descriptors in the most negative possible way and it may not be fair to you or potential partners!

As Ayama mentioned above, these classifications are somewhat outdated and there's a cultural shift amongst RPers to move away from them. However - Ayama hasn't mentioned where they came from, which I think is relevant. When I started getting into forum RP around... 2008ish, a lot of people were still writing in a format which was (I think) a legacy from AOL/AIM chats:

*action action* dialogue dialogue dialogue

So you'd see:
*sneaks up on you and pounces* what r u doing?

This is a bit of a stereotypical example, but that is what lit/semi-lit/advanced lit was distinguishing itself from. I would agree that 'literate' is the wrong word to use ('literary' would be better, as that actually describes the difference in style from the chat/asterisk style), but also... at that time, there was a 'not like other girls (gender-neutral)' attitude amongst prose RPers, and it absolutely was an ego thing.

Thing is, that doesn't mean that anyone who uses it now is aware of that context, or has given thought to the deeper implications of the terminology. There are plenty of people who just saw these terms being used and adopted them as stylistic/length markers, and now see it as part of the parlance of RP. So maybe don't jump immediately to such a sharp judgement and condemnation of them.

 

[Ayama]

Okay, I'm gonna give you a bit of pushback here, mostly because I think you're interpreting lit/semi-lit descriptors in the most negative possible way and it may not be fair to you or potential partners!

As Ayama mentioned above, these classifications are somewhat outdated and there's a cultural shift amongst RPers to move away from them. However - Ayama hasn't mentioned where they came from, which I think is relevant. When I started getting into forum RP around... 2008ish, a lot of people were still writing in a format which was (I think) a legacy from AOL/AIM chats:

*action action* dialogue dialogue dialogue

So you'd see:
*sneaks up on you and pounces* what r u doing?

This is a bit of a stereotypical example, but that is what lit/semi-lit/advanced lit was distinguishing itself from. I would agree that 'literate' is the wrong word to use ('literary' would be better, as that actually describes the difference in style from the chat/asterisk style), but also... at that time, there was a 'not like other girls (gender-neutral)' attitude amongst prose RPers, and it absolutely was an ego thing.

Thing is, that doesn't mean that anyone who uses it now is aware of that context, or has given thought to the deeper implications of the terminology. There are plenty of people who just saw these terms being used and adopted them as stylistic/length markers, and now see it as part of the parlance of RP. So maybe don't jump immediately to such a sharp judgement and condemnation of them.

I totally forgot that that was why people started using those terms in the first place! It's so interesting to be reminded of the evolution of RP history- how and why some terms first came about, and the change in the meaning of those terms over time, as well as the connotations associated with them~

 

[Solivagante]

I totally forgot that that was why people started using those terms in the first place! It's so interesting to be reminded of the evolution of RP history- how and why some terms first came about, and the change in the meaning of those terms over time, as well as the connotations associated with them~

I started on a website called Meez back in the day and that was the MAJORITY of RP out there at the time; what was written in complete sentences was maybe 1-2 per post. The more I think about it, the more I think those qualities are probably both derived from the limitations of chat programs (though I never had AOL/AIM, personally). #kids these days don't know how lucky they are to be able to send as many words/characters as they want in a message!

 

[Ayama]

I started on a website called Meez back in the day and that was the MAJORITY of RP out there at the time; what was written in complete sentences was maybe 1-2 per post. The more I think about it, the more I think those qualities are probably both derived from the limitations of chat programs (though I never had AOL/AIM, personally). #kids these days don't know how lucky they are to be able to send as many words/characters as they want in a message!

Omg yes I remember my original forum had word or character limitations per post. Given my writing ability at the time it was never an issue for my RP posts back then, but I had to split my fanfic chapters a lot ;P (which is why I don't envy anyone these days who RPs on Discord and doesn't have Nitro xD )

On the matter of 'which terms do we use?', I do think the 'lit'/'semi-lit'/'lazy lit'/'advanced lit' (that latter of which has almost universally been replaced by 'novella' these days) classification has essentially come full-circle, in that it started off as distinguishing purely literary writing style from chatroom style, then acquired notions of both length and 'quality' in its 'heyday' where forum RP was at the height of its toxic elitism and, now that chatroom-style RP is mostly defunct on sites like these, is used fairly neutrally with no notions of assumed/expected 'superior' or 'inferior' quality of writing simply as a shorthand to denote post length.

For me personally, while I appreciate that the terminology has now mostly lost those toxic connotations it had before and has become just another one of those 'RP Lingo' terms, it's never been one that I've particularly liked or embraced- even at the height of its popularity, for all those aforementioned reasons (lack of clarity/universality in their meaning, toxic associations, absurd contrast with the words' actual definitions...).

Since they're still so widespread and I'm used to seeing them, I wouldn't say they necessarily constitute a complete red flag for me (to bring things back to the topic at hand, which I'm afraid I've been derailing since I like talking about this stuff so much xD ), but I do prefer/generally gravitate towards RPs that don't use them, and have noticed that, as a whole, we have been moving away from arbitrary measurements/expectations like post length, and more towards just trying to clarify the sort of writing we produce, expect, and enjoy, to find compatible partners without any kind of 'I'm better than you'/'You're not good enough for me' undertones associated with it ^^

 

[Solivagante]

Since they're still so widespread and I'm used to seeing them, I wouldn't say they necessarily constitute a complete red flag for me (to bring things back to the topic at hand, which I'm afraid I've been derailing since I like talking about this stuff so much xD ), but I do prefer/generally gravitate towards RPs that don't use them, and have noticed that, as a whole, we have been moving away from arbitrary measurements/expectations like post length, and more towards just trying to clarify the sort of writing we produce, expect, and enjoy, to find compatible partners without any kind of 'I'm better than you'/'You're not good enough for me' undertones associated with it ^^

I hope OP doesn't mind - I do think this is relevant to the discussion, as what is a 'red flag' to someone else isn't to others based on different experiences.

I also have been moving away from 'lit' terminology myself, though for me it's less about the words themselves and more that I no longer find classification by length to be useful. My gut feeling is that this is a function of the decrease in overall population of RPers - when I was on Gaia in the early 2010s, the main page of Barton Town was HOPPING and you had to bump repeatedly to keep a thread where it might get eyes. Here - and on BT as well from what I've seen at a glance - that is no longer the case. Fewer people and RPs to filter through = less importance given to qualifiers, as individual threads/players can be judged on their own merits more easily.

 

[Ayama]

I hope OP doesn't mind - I do think this is relevant to the discussion, as what is a 'red flag' to someone else isn't to others based on different experiences.

I also have been moving away from 'lit' terminology myself, though for me it's less about the words themselves and more that I no longer find classification by length to be useful. My gut feeling is that this is a function of the decrease in overall population of RPers - when I was on Gaia in the early 2010s, the main page of Barton Town was HOPPING and you had to bump repeatedly to keep a thread where it might get eyes. Here - and on BT as well from what I've seen at a glance - that is no longer the case. Fewer people and RPs to filter through = less importance given to qualifiers, as individual threads/players can be judged on their own merits more easily.

Ah, another Barton Town 2010s vet- wonder if we ever crossed paths back in the day ;P And I agree- it circles back to your distinction between what one would consider to be a red flag in general vs. a personal preference/'not for me' kinda thing. Though I hadn't considered that the less frenetic nature of the hobby nowadays might be a contributing factor to the shift ^^

 

[davy]

I can see why. It comes across as transphobic to me, unintentionally or not. It's much easier (and better) to say "Ciswoman" or "cisfemale" (though even using the word "female" sometimes gives me the ick).

I'm late replying, but this is exactly why it's a red flag. Most of my RPing is on a small group site. I'm trans, so is another active writer, and we have some other LGBT+ people too. And some of us have been burned by people not liking us writing stuff that seems "too gay" or whatever before, so I don't want to invite any of that energy because seeing what the people already there come up with when they feel safe is worth so much more to me. (And yeah, you can write whatever you like and ignore people who disagree, but making stories together is so intensely personal that that's easier said than done.)