Scarlett-Wulf
Four Thousand Club
Ima have to dig my computer out and dust it off. My phones not gonna cut it for this.
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Fantasy Vanguards OOC
- Thread starter shadowz1995
- Start date
Mx.Trinity
Pro Stranger
Hahahahaha our GM does 90% of everything on his phone
shadowz1995
I think I know why it took a month now 
Scarlett-Wulf
Four Thousand Club
Mx.Trinity
Pro Stranger
Alright so this is probably going to be a pretty long process... but a few things to start with: Check out the FAQ in the extras page
The time period is relatively modern, with technology only being about 20-50 years ahead of our own time. The other thing is that there's a LOT of typos so I would go through and fix those. In the past 40 years (If you read the summary of the story in the IC section) the world has been a relatively peaceful place with no wars really taking place. The only disputes humans and vampires have had in the past 40 years is that akin to personal quarrels like modern day racism or any personal issue really there aren't any wars currently. Humans and Vampires have been united against The Rot and because of that, for the first time, humans and vampires are getting along and cooperating.
Also I just want to make sure that you understand I'm in no way a moderator or GM for the roleplay, I'm just trying to give you some helpful advice and the facts we've been given.
As an ending note I'd like to bring something to your attention. There's something floating around the roleplay site called "Purple Prose" basically what this is... is jam packing details of your character or your posts with a lot of filler or unnecessary detail. An example of this would be:
"She sat cross legged, her nylon stockings rubbing against each other as she sat up in her chair, the metal creaking a bit from the shift in weight. Her arm extended outwards, fingers touching a smooth yet fragile material... Porcelain. Her index finger wrapped around the interior of the tea cup's handle, firmly grasping it within the notch of her extended limb. She raised the cup ever so delicately as to not disturb the liquid inside. Her hand was ever so steady as the brim of it approached her lips. It pressed, warrmly, smoothly, before her hand would tilt ever so slightly. The liquid coming forward within the cup, steaming hot... streamed across the crevasses of her beautifully quaint lips..."
etc. etc. etc.
All I wanted to say about purple prose is that it's a great way to fill in paragraphs if you aren't sure what to say but doesn't give a lot of forward movement to your post. The only time I would recommend purple prose writing is in a combat situation so that details are stupid simple to understand exactly whats happening.
Of course all of us have our different writing styles and what not but if you take a look at my first character (The Vampire Silentium) You can see that while I included a lot of detail there isn't a lot of filler, things are stated plainly and precisely to demonstrate a bit of detail but not so much as to be cumbersome to my character's sheet. If you want to write in a purple prose fashion that's fine just know that it won't give a whole lot more to the depth of your character. I tied in a lot of my characters history with the minor details, and because of that I created a sort of dialogue that you'd have to read his story to really understand. But again, that's just my own personal preference and opinion.
Scarlett-Wulf
shadowz1995
Wandering Grim Hollow
Let me know if u feel like I've overstepped any bounds 
Last edited:
Scarlett-Wulf
Four Thousand Club
Okay I'll look at it. I know that they have been at peace for some time now but I was explaining the clans original purpose when the humans and vampires were fighting. The clan hasn't attack humans in ages, they've been fighting along side them and protecting those that they could get to to stop some of the rot. I've never been very good with proper grammar but I guess I should give a better explanation to that portion of information
Mx.Trinity
Mx.Trinity
Mx.Trinity
Pro Stranger
oh it has good grammar that's not the issue there's just things typed twice like "and and" that sort of thing. But yeah! If that's the case I would just elaborate on that being their purpose BEFORE, as I read it... it was taking place pretty recently because I think you said it tied into your character's motivation due to his parents dying?Okay I'll look at it. I know that they have been at peace for some time now but I was explaining the clans original purpose when the humans and vampires were fighting. The clan hasn't attack humans in ages, they've been fighting along side them and protecting those that they could get to to stop some of the rot. I've never been very good with proper grammar but I guess I should give a better explanation to that portion of information
If your character is 19 that would mean he's only been alive for half of the conflict between the rot and humans. The war has been taking place for 40 years, so he would have been born in the middle of that timeframe which would make prior war between humans and vampires non-existent. So if he grew up without a mother or father it would have to be for other reasons; just keep in mind the time period, and elaborate on some of the history. Like how long has the clan been around, what are they doing now? how is it relevant to your character? that kinda thing
Scarlett-Wulf
Scarlett-Wulf
Four Thousand Club
hm.....its nice having someone proofread with me, thanks. Check it again in a few minutes
Mx.Trinity
Mx.Trinity
Mx.Trinity
Pro Stranger
No problem, I want you to feel welcome in the roleplay but also help you along with the process since you said you kinda need it. Anything to make it easier on you, well... almost anythinghm.....its nice having someone proofread with me, thanks. Check it again in a few minutes
Scarlett-Wulf
Mx.Trinity
Pro Stranger
Ah I okay I re-read your CS just now the history is actually looking pretty alright. I'm wondering where his father is, where the character was born, and how he heard about the school and was able to attend such a prestige academy. History about your families material wealth and other things I mentioned could be added to give your history more depth
Scarlett-Wulf
Scarlett-Wulf
Scarlett-Wulf
Four Thousand Club
Updated
Mx.Trinity
Pro Stranger
History looks spot on to a realistic character we'd see here in vanguard. However the skill abilities, strengths, and weaknesses I feel like could use a bit of work.
The stats most common that I've seen for vampires in this RP are as follows:
Strength - obviously how strong your character is
Stamina - How long your character can go without stopping
Perception - How aware the character is of the environment and things happening around them
Agility - The ability to transcend their normal running/fighting speed
Durability - How much damage your character can take
So with those in mind just consider them carefully. If you just want to stick to strength that's fine, just know that they won't be able to go for very long without stamina
The max abilities you can have is 2-3, obviously picking 1 means that you're more trained for that stat. 2 and you'll have to split the points assigned to you. 3 and you're looking to be a "almost everything" support you won't be very adept in any of them to start with but you'll be able to offer more to your team as a combatant. Naturally after time skips you can talk to the GM's for consideration of boosting one of those stats.
shadowz1995
tagging you in everything I feel needs to be reviewed and scrutinized by you.
Scarlett-Wulf
you're almost there! Just add a bit more depth to your skills/abilities, as well as any additional strengths/weaknesses. Giving your character more strengths and weaknesses can also give your character more depth and make them feel more immersive. Although you don't have too this is just a suggestion
Scarlett-Wulf
Four Thousand Club
What do you think of his ability?
Mx.Trinity
Pro Stranger
I like it~! now you just need to have your first approval discussion with
shadowz1995
he can go over anything that I missed or maybe misconceived
Scarlett-Wulf
Four Thousand Club
Okay sounds good. Now I just have to wait for him to get back
slim
destroyer
Hopefully you'll be joining us soon!
shadowz1995
Amoeba of Wisdom
Im up im up. Fuck. Goddammit I wanna die. Let me go see wtf has been made
shadowz1995
Amoeba of Wisdom
shadowz1995
Anaxileah
Wandering Grim Hollow
Nogoodname
Kloudy
Cosmos
Cameron Onfroy RiP
Compass
Mx.Trinity
Mistory
slim
Wandering Grim Hollow
Suzuken
Quietpersona
Han JiHyo
Scarlet Iver
Serf Ember
Shadow Alpha
simj26
Fluffy-Kat
The Faceless King
WoodenZebra
Aukanai
TPBx
Kent
E.Vasper
Twyllvarlais
Luckz
Dark Sanctuary
Steff__legit_trash__
Morgrim
Scarlett-Wulf
Alright everyone. As the time skip to the night is coming and then a larger time skip of a month or two, I need everyone who hasnt had their characters stats updated to tag me and let me know that their character is missing incantations, stats, profeciencies, etc etc.
For example......
"Hey shadow?"
"Yes bih?"
"My characters Gabriel and Francis need their incants and spells lil I'm uncultured? Where u at with that?"
"Im going bitch damn. Fuck im real busy."
"Bitch FUCK witcho busy shit. Fuck outta here."
"Ah go fuck yourself. Im going just chill dammit."
...............
Or something along those lines. Lets get this show on the road everyone
Nogoodname
Did nothing wrong
My chars now have their incants and are 100% done, Lynn just needs her stats.
Alright everyone. As the time skip to the night is coming and then a larger time skip of a month or two, I need everyone who hasnt had their characters stats updated to tag me and let me know that their character is missing incantations, stats, profeciencies, etc etc.
For example......
"Hey shadow?"
"Yes bih?"
"My characters Gabriel and Francis need their incants and spells lil I'm uncultured? Where u at with that?"
"Im going bitch damn. Fuck im real busy."
"Bitch FUCK witcho busy shit. Fuck outta here."
"Ah go fuck yourself. Im going just chill dammit."
...............
Or something along those lines. Lets get this show on the road everyone
Mx.Trinity
Pro Stranger
I noticed Silentium isnt on the extras page
Alright everyone. As the time skip to the night is coming and then a larger time skip of a month or two, I need everyone who hasnt had their characters stats updated to tag me and let me know that their character is missing incantations, stats, profeciencies, etc etc.
For example......
"Hey shadow?"
"Yes bih?"
"My characters Gabriel and Francis need their incants and spells lil I'm uncultured? Where u at with that?"
"Im going bitch damn. Fuck im real busy."
"Bitch FUCK witcho busy shit. Fuck outta here."
"Ah go fuck yourself. Im going just chill dammit."
...............
Or something along those lines. Lets get this show on the road everyone
shadowz1995
shadowz1995
Amoeba of Wisdom
Alright, So I need you to send me your characters spells and incantations in a pm HERE on RPN so I can review them officially and give them the appropriate love they deserve.
I noticed Silentium isnt on the extras page
While I can see his blood level in game, I still need his Officer stats. 35 and assigned where. PM on RPN please. Discord gets too hectic sometimes
Mx.Trinity
Pro Stranger
shadowz1995
you can copy paste straight from his character sheet, I included them on the spoilers for his traits
shadowz1995
Amoeba of Wisdom
It cant go in halfs. Whole numbers
Morgrim
Dead Like Me
shadowz1995
yo bitch you still haven't included my stats
shadowz1995
Amoeba of Wisdom
Then PM bitch
Anaxileah
From the Depths of Hell
shadowz1995
I know I haven't really been all that involved lately but I should be much more very soon, since I'm flying up to Michigan and won't have work or drama up there. I will be posting my second character and then I will post. The time skip has already been done, yes?
