ComplexDragon
Screaming into the void
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MOOD: Angry, frustrated, grieving
OUTFIT: Will be something here
LOCATION: Wilder Family Home -
basics
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MENTIONS:
None
INT:
None -
tags
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TL;DR Seraphina tells her parents she's not joining SOTO and they are very happy about it
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tl;dr
Seraphina
congratulations you survived the war; now live with the trauma
TW: Mentioned/Implied Abuse, Gaslighting, Manipulation.
She knew what she was going to say. She had it all worked out in her head. Not even the jagged scar across her forearm was enough to overcome the image of Caroline Davis’ face after SOTO gave her the punishment she “deserved” for protecting herself when no one else would. It propelled her up the stairs and into her parents' grand “sitting room” as they called it. An archaic term because her father loved ancient things.
She was supposed to start at that prison camp they called the Society of Truth and Order in a week. Little did they know that her bags were packed and squirreled behind a dumpster. Just the things that were hers that didn’t remind her of everything she hated about this stupid city and this stupid house.
Still, all she could see was Caroline’s tear-tracked cheeks. Hear the breaks in her voice as she told her what had happened. And yet when Seraphina walked into her parents' sitting room, there was a perfectly peaceful domestic scene - her mother pouring over case files while her father read the paper. Neither one looked up to see their daughter standing there. Jacket on, outside shoes staining the perfect carpet. Bag slung across her shoulder.
Her pulse pounded in her ears, and her hands and feet were like ice. It was as if she were underwater and deprived of all her senses. But fire roiled within her chest, hot and unrelenting. Begging to be released.
And just like that, all her perfectly practiced words disintegrated and she was left with nothing but pure rage.
Seraphina slammed her fist down on some sort of surface to her right. “How can you just fucking sit there?”
Her father’s eyes jumped up from the paper and landed on Seraphina. The same bright, crystalline blue that all the Wilders had. “How dare you use such a tone-”
Meanwhile, her mother gave a small gasp. “Seraphina Lorraine Wilder! Watch your tongue!”
“That’s what you care about?” Seraphina barked a laugh, sparks crackling at her fingertips. “Not that Caroline Davis was just sentenced to prison for defending herself against her abuser? God, I should have known you both wouldn’t care. That you’d be more offended I came in here to point out your fucking hypocrisy than the fact that an innocent woman is being unfairly punished by a society supposedly built on truth and justice!”
Her eyes flit down to the jagged scar running down the length of her forearm. A reminder of the kind of “justice” that disobedience and evil deserved. If they were willing to do that to their own child, why would they care about another young woman who was just a name to them? Caroline was just a case to solve to maintain order.
Her father was suddenly standing. Pages of the paper strewn across the carpet. “Now hold on just a moment! You’re not being reasonable. The punishment Caroline Davis received was just and fair under the law.”
Fire burned in her peripheral vision, threatening to spill forth. Desperation clawed at her insides. She wanted to scorch this whole building and bring it to the ground. The only thing that stopped her was the knowledge that if she did, she’d end up in the same situation as Caroline.
So instead, she clamped down on her fire - digging her fingernails into her palms almost hard enough to draw blood. “I’m done. I’m done with this bullshit. I’m done putting up with what you call truth and justice. I’m not joining SOTO. Find another dumbass to make your shining new recruit because it’s not going to be me.”
Seraphina had thought of all the reactions she might get from her parents. But nothing prepared her for the scene that unfolded when she uttered those words. It was like child’s play compared to when she had been caught high and naked with another girl.
“You don’t mean that. You wouldn’t dare come into my house and destroy the Wilder name in such a way.” Her father’s face contorted into a mix of rage and severe distress, tears filling his eyes and threatening to spill over.
Her mother slapped a hand over her mouth. “You’re hysterical. Stop this insanity at once.”
“No! For once in your life just shut up and listen to what I’m saying. I am not joining SOTO. I’m done. My bags are packed and I’m leaving and there’s nothing you can do about it.”
She had expected them to yell and scream. To take a knife to her arm and cut. And yet, somehow, their silence cut so deep she wasn’t sure she’d ever recover. Because for the first time, they both seemed to be small and weak. As if they knew there was nothing they could do. Perhaps it was just another manipulation tactic, but it worked.
Seraphina expected them to fight. She wanted them to fight for her. But instead, they just sat there, looking at her like she committed some heinous crime just because she wanted to. When all she had done was tell them she didn’t want to be their puppet anymore.
She wasn’t doing anything wrong. So why did the world tilt on its axis and her chest tighten so much she could barely breathe?
Tears cascaded down her father’s face in earnest as he blubbered something about the death of their lineage. Meanwhile, her mother stood, face as pale as death itself. “You’re not… you can’t… You were perfect! Wonderful! The picture of perfection and moral goodness in every way. You are not a fallen angel. You can’t be.”
Grief, anger, and disappointment cascaded over Seraphina in waves. Fallen angel. Her mother believed that rejecting SOTO somehow made her less than. A moral failure. Evil. There was no concern for her well-being. Fear that perhaps something terrible would happen to her, or that she was about to go out on her own without so much as an apartment rental. She wanted them to fight for her. Ask her to stay. But all they cared about was that she was besmirching the family name.
Because that’s all they’ve ever cared about. She was only enough for them if she lived up to their perfect standards. Only worthy if she hit that impossibly high bar. And that’s why she couldn’t stay. Why she had to do this. She had to take her bags, walk out that door, and get the hell out of Sentinel Proper. Never look back.
No matter how much doing it felt like ripping her very soul in two.
“If making my own way in this world makes me a fallen angel, then so be it. It’s better than being whatever creature you wanted me to be.” Her throat tightened and she squeezed her eyes shut to stave off the tears that threatened to burst forth. “I already have my things. Don’t come looking for me unless you’ve changed your mind.”
She spun on her heel and made a beeline for the door. Only opening her eyes when they were safely behind her. However, it wasn’t enough to block out the caterwauling coming from the two people who gave her the gift - or curse of life.
Her feet led her to the outskirts of town. A small alley blocked up by concrete and a few abandoned buildings. There she finally let herself break down. Let the flames pour forth along the inflammable rock.
And in the wake of the grief, frustration, flames, and ashes, something new was born. For better or worse, the old Seraphina Wilder was gone.
She knew what she was going to say. She had it all worked out in her head. Not even the jagged scar across her forearm was enough to overcome the image of Caroline Davis’ face after SOTO gave her the punishment she “deserved” for protecting herself when no one else would. It propelled her up the stairs and into her parents' grand “sitting room” as they called it. An archaic term because her father loved ancient things.
She was supposed to start at that prison camp they called the Society of Truth and Order in a week. Little did they know that her bags were packed and squirreled behind a dumpster. Just the things that were hers that didn’t remind her of everything she hated about this stupid city and this stupid house.
Still, all she could see was Caroline’s tear-tracked cheeks. Hear the breaks in her voice as she told her what had happened. And yet when Seraphina walked into her parents' sitting room, there was a perfectly peaceful domestic scene - her mother pouring over case files while her father read the paper. Neither one looked up to see their daughter standing there. Jacket on, outside shoes staining the perfect carpet. Bag slung across her shoulder.
Her pulse pounded in her ears, and her hands and feet were like ice. It was as if she were underwater and deprived of all her senses. But fire roiled within her chest, hot and unrelenting. Begging to be released.
And just like that, all her perfectly practiced words disintegrated and she was left with nothing but pure rage.
Seraphina slammed her fist down on some sort of surface to her right. “How can you just fucking sit there?”
Her father’s eyes jumped up from the paper and landed on Seraphina. The same bright, crystalline blue that all the Wilders had. “How dare you use such a tone-”
Meanwhile, her mother gave a small gasp. “Seraphina Lorraine Wilder! Watch your tongue!”
“That’s what you care about?” Seraphina barked a laugh, sparks crackling at her fingertips. “Not that Caroline Davis was just sentenced to prison for defending herself against her abuser? God, I should have known you both wouldn’t care. That you’d be more offended I came in here to point out your fucking hypocrisy than the fact that an innocent woman is being unfairly punished by a society supposedly built on truth and justice!”
Her eyes flit down to the jagged scar running down the length of her forearm. A reminder of the kind of “justice” that disobedience and evil deserved. If they were willing to do that to their own child, why would they care about another young woman who was just a name to them? Caroline was just a case to solve to maintain order.
Her father was suddenly standing. Pages of the paper strewn across the carpet. “Now hold on just a moment! You’re not being reasonable. The punishment Caroline Davis received was just and fair under the law.”
Fire burned in her peripheral vision, threatening to spill forth. Desperation clawed at her insides. She wanted to scorch this whole building and bring it to the ground. The only thing that stopped her was the knowledge that if she did, she’d end up in the same situation as Caroline.
So instead, she clamped down on her fire - digging her fingernails into her palms almost hard enough to draw blood. “I’m done. I’m done with this bullshit. I’m done putting up with what you call truth and justice. I’m not joining SOTO. Find another dumbass to make your shining new recruit because it’s not going to be me.”
Seraphina had thought of all the reactions she might get from her parents. But nothing prepared her for the scene that unfolded when she uttered those words. It was like child’s play compared to when she had been caught high and naked with another girl.
“You don’t mean that. You wouldn’t dare come into my house and destroy the Wilder name in such a way.” Her father’s face contorted into a mix of rage and severe distress, tears filling his eyes and threatening to spill over.
Her mother slapped a hand over her mouth. “You’re hysterical. Stop this insanity at once.”
“No! For once in your life just shut up and listen to what I’m saying. I am not joining SOTO. I’m done. My bags are packed and I’m leaving and there’s nothing you can do about it.”
She had expected them to yell and scream. To take a knife to her arm and cut. And yet, somehow, their silence cut so deep she wasn’t sure she’d ever recover. Because for the first time, they both seemed to be small and weak. As if they knew there was nothing they could do. Perhaps it was just another manipulation tactic, but it worked.
Seraphina expected them to fight. She wanted them to fight for her. But instead, they just sat there, looking at her like she committed some heinous crime just because she wanted to. When all she had done was tell them she didn’t want to be their puppet anymore.
She wasn’t doing anything wrong. So why did the world tilt on its axis and her chest tighten so much she could barely breathe?
Tears cascaded down her father’s face in earnest as he blubbered something about the death of their lineage. Meanwhile, her mother stood, face as pale as death itself. “You’re not… you can’t… You were perfect! Wonderful! The picture of perfection and moral goodness in every way. You are not a fallen angel. You can’t be.”
Grief, anger, and disappointment cascaded over Seraphina in waves. Fallen angel. Her mother believed that rejecting SOTO somehow made her less than. A moral failure. Evil. There was no concern for her well-being. Fear that perhaps something terrible would happen to her, or that she was about to go out on her own without so much as an apartment rental. She wanted them to fight for her. Ask her to stay. But all they cared about was that she was besmirching the family name.
Because that’s all they’ve ever cared about. She was only enough for them if she lived up to their perfect standards. Only worthy if she hit that impossibly high bar. And that’s why she couldn’t stay. Why she had to do this. She had to take her bags, walk out that door, and get the hell out of Sentinel Proper. Never look back.
No matter how much doing it felt like ripping her very soul in two.
“If making my own way in this world makes me a fallen angel, then so be it. It’s better than being whatever creature you wanted me to be.” Her throat tightened and she squeezed her eyes shut to stave off the tears that threatened to burst forth. “I already have my things. Don’t come looking for me unless you’ve changed your mind.”
She spun on her heel and made a beeline for the door. Only opening her eyes when they were safely behind her. However, it wasn’t enough to block out the caterwauling coming from the two people who gave her the gift - or curse of life.
Her feet led her to the outskirts of town. A small alley blocked up by concrete and a few abandoned buildings. There she finally let herself break down. Let the flames pour forth along the inflammable rock.
And in the wake of the grief, frustration, flames, and ashes, something new was born. For better or worse, the old Seraphina Wilder was gone.
code by valen t.
