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Viewpoint Unpopular roleplay opinions?
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What would be included in a form like this?
AnnJam
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Whatever you want it's your form for someone to fill in and PM to you. Make it aesthetic or plain text who cares. Ask them to answer a few questions or make it more madlib fill in the spaces.
Merciless Medic
Walking Pokemon Dictionary
An unpopular opinion I have.... I have a few (DISCLAIMER - I AM NOT A PSYCHIATRIST OR A PSYCHOLOGIST, I AM SHARING WHAT I KNOW - CORRECT AND SLAP ME IF I'M WRONG):
1: Character Realism and Logistics with Setting
Please, for the love of all things good in whatever belief or comfort you find, please be slightly realistic with your characters' backstories if you are in Group RPs. I love realism in my characters and getting them to fit in culture and settings, and I don't see that enough nowadays. If you are on an RP where its literally a simple slice-of-life, journey, light-hearted, and/or comedic RP with the plot not being a big deal and you're just winging it, then fine. Go ahead and make whatever you want. I don't care. I just probably won't join unless I'm in a similar fun caffeinated-induced high. But if the story has a bit of a serious plot, even if the atmosphere at first is light-hearted, I gotta have backstories and personalities at least have some parallels. I love realism. I want my stories and RPs and characters to have life and be three-dimensional. But if that isn't your goal, then I don't care and knock yourself out. Break a leg. XD I don't care. I don't even care if you don't care about this opinion and do your thing anyway. Do it. Be you. I'll just likely end up trying to find a compromise with you if we end up RPing together or I'll just avoid you (which I have a hard time doing this since I'm quite masochistic).
What I do care is when you are completely serious about something with some expectation of realism and cohesiveness with your character bio for the RP and the thing you are serious about actually ends up bothering someone because it makes you look either ignorant or putting in stereotypes that spread misinformation of how people with a certain "quirk" or actual problem act like and what issues they have.
I won't name names or say where this was at specifically, but on another site in a superpower high school fandom RP, someone tried bringing in a character who was neglected and possibly abused as a young kid from his family due to not having a superpower, hated life except for his uncle who was the only one nice to him, and then his uncle frees him from his family and takes him to Japan, where he can get accepted into a school as a freshman at the age of 16. His uncle was an engineer and he was able to create gadgets that basically gave him a Batman/Iron Man vibe. Between learning how to use martial arts between the ages of 11-16, being able to master three different martial arts in that short span of time, learning another language with hardly a teacher (don't remember if his uncle knew Japanese, but couldn't remember), and learning about police law, first aid, and how citizens react when in a crisis is not doable. You can get some pretty damn good discipline at that age trying to learn all that, but you won't get to Bruce Lee or Jackie Chan levels realistically speaking with the martial arts (especially if you are trying to fit in an education on top of that). If he were 20-25, I can see that. But he didn't learn it from a teacher, the kid learned it himself. What made it worse was that the way the uncle was telling the kid to "use your anger to show them not to mess with you" is a villain trait. That's how you get mass shooters or bombers or those with a general disregard for life. A hero doesn't have that unless they are said to be anti-heroes. A hero is mostly "it doesn't matter what you feel and if you use those feelings, but always protect those weaker than yourself and your friends/family" (we were dealing with actual villains and heroes like Marvel/DC (but it wasn't those two universes) so that sentiment can really be heavily validated in this setting and sorry if it sounds generalized XD it's the fandom's established setting and I was rushing due to my phone dying when making this post). Plus, what made it worse was that the abused/neglected kid did not share the same pattern of behaviors real kids who were abused/neglected went through. Being married to someone who had a very abusive and neglectful childhood, he is a high functioning psychopath. But he is only one example. Doing a bit of research about how people act after their traumatic childhood/teen years can make or break a character for me.
Along with the gadgets not being actually needed to prevent destruction of the character's power or keep them living due to their power actively trying to kill them (because they have none to speak of), their permission form to bring said gadgets in would be denied by the higher-ups, preventing them from even passing the recommendations test or the entrance exam (he can do written, but he won't be able to do the practical exam where you have to fight giant robots or rescue people but given the character doesn't have the kindness to save anyone nor does he have anything to get him more points than 100 more qualified people who might have better attitudes or actual powers, so he won't be picked).
Now, back to what actually bugged me. The character did not have any redeeming qualities. When a child has gone through abusive trauma, they either get malicious and mean or they shut down and are basically like a zombie in life where depression and anxiety (or other illnesses) can hit hard then or when puberty comes around. These kids tend to become psychotic or form a mental illness (which needs more research to not generalize or stereotype something harmfully, but it is just as easy to create a mental illness yourself because actually getting the mental illness accurate can be uncomfortable for some people who have similar experiences). If the parent abuses the child to succeed, then it causes mass confusion within the child, and it creates this vacuum of disappointment of never being able to achieve the expectation due to the bar being set too high and always climbing.
If they were simply neglected, they would just become attention seekers, become good liars, and seek out outlets for attention, whether good or bad. Someone who is a driving force (like his uncle, which this is the only thing that works) helps in giving them direction and shows them about empathy and sympathy. Although, it depends on the character's personality whether or not they take this kind of trait from their uncle or anybody else they look up to as a mentor. A driving force to succeed and/or self-improvement (to avoid from him becoming a villain) would make him a hero. A driving force from a person who exploited the anger and hate in someone turns them into a villain, as exploiting anger and hate can cause a disregard in life, people in general, and can cause resentment against anyone who stands up to them and any authoritative figures. But those who are also abused or neglected in some fashion wouldn't be on the receiving end of this character's irritation due to going through similar situations (but that wasn't exactly detailed).
If the characters were bullied (whether by siblings, peers from outside the family, or parents), they may have anger issues. The way that comes about is through confusion. When they feel like crying and feeling guilt or shame isn't enough to get some kind of positive reinforcement, they resort to anger and acting out, which is where you get the anger issues if it is reinforced as "oh this makes me feel better, so I'm going to keep doing it". No matter if the parents try to stamp out the behavior, the character will end up having that. However, depending on the character, you can get an overly aggressive personality, a really meek one that makes Fluttershy from My Little Pony look aggressive and hot-headed when we first see her, or a socially awkward or socially distant character (not all the time, but it can happen). Some kids fall into a range or a spectrum that shifts around given time and events that develop them. You can also make sociopaths from abuse/neglect, which is a form of shutting down, even if the actions and behaviors they take are aggressive and manipulative.
His character was just selfish and aggressive. There was no other defining features about this character and it hurt to read. The player tried comparing his character to Batman, but Batman had superior intelligence and a physique he had been training for 20 years and had received the wealth and connections from his familial status, making the martial art master at 5 years with three of the martial arts seem like a Mary Sue by comparison. Just because you put your characters entire life to be something doesn't mean they keep rising. There are hills and dips they'll go through, and then they'll plateau once they reach their limit that they now have to break through. A 16 year old kid learning this in 5 years? No. Not realistic and the RP the character was submitted to had to have some realism.
It is actually more unlikely to get a story about how bad the parents treated their child with physical abuse and neglect that the CPS would have a field day with and more likely that they tried to mold the child to their liking by manipulating and emotionally abusing them with gaslighting, guilt-shaming, or bits of neglect. And what's even worse is that the manipulation is either extremely subtle or its a technique that has been passed down with the other parenting techniques in that family so they think they are doing something good or that what they are doing isn't bad. As a mom, it is super hard not to go to the downright harmful manipulation area that ends up destroying your kid's mental tools to help them with future situations and ends up making them the "bad kind of weird" individuals. I grew up and got my mental tools when I didn't learn them in the first place due to some bits of neglect. It took me 15 years. I redeemed myself. I could have been a horrible gross nerd who never left my mom's house and never had any substantial friendships or love interests and never had a chance to get married to an amazing man and bear our child. And I plan on not doing what my mother or father did when they tried raising me.
Now, it may sound like I just ripped this character a new one, but I'm getting to an actual point here. I don't care if I see that kind of character in a light-hearted RP or one that has no plot, like I said. I don't want to see these things in RPs where there is an expected amount of realism at play there. If other RPers and the GM are serious about an RP and expect it as such from each other to make cohesive characters, at least make an effort. Luckily, the guy took my advice and moved on from it, so I'm really glad they didn't get pissy with me. I'm thinking they just felt horrible and now I feel horrible for making them feel that bad, but at least they know better now. xD
1.5: Abusive/Tragic Backstories
If I am GMing, I don't want to have any character I'm judging go through an abusive backstory unless it has been properly researched and thought through without sounding tasteless (okay, if you can do it without research and still make it not sound tasteless, then kudos to you, you did it, but be careful with that. That's as dangerous as not studying for a final). Don't add an abusive past unless it actually drives the character forward (in plot and/or character development) and don't do it to make the character seem more like a badass or for cool factor or if you want to give your character a reason to endlessly whine about their problems and do a whole "woe is me" shindig. Because doing that isn't cool or badass, it just makes them seem a little pretentious and insufferable imo. Having a character have bad qualities through the abuse like this without changing them or planning for a redeemable developmental plotpoint can also make others, who view and relate to your character, feel like they can't be redeemed and it ruins the feeling of redemption for them, especially when it seems like there is no hope realistically and psychologically for that character to reach a goal to become someone decent in their life. The character I mentioned above was too impatient to make it. At best, he can be seen as an anti-hero leaning more towards acts of villainy. At worst, he looks like a villain trying too hard to be someone successful and seen as "good" in society when the behaviors he may take may end up hurting him if he tried to reach his goals.
While we have all made our tragic/abusive backstories and we may still be creating them unintentionally or on purpose, I would like to see people go a different route like actually make average characters for once. I did a lot of the tragic/abusive backstories of characters to make them edgy and cool, but what I actually did was make them into neurotic insufferable Mary Sues. What I did to them was more tragic and more abusive than the backstory I put in them if they were real people. It was a dumpster fire. I don't want to go back to that, but it is a guilty pleasure because my very first character when I was 8 had glorified abuse. I didn't know what I was doing but this pattern grew into my role-playing when I was 13 and then further on into me being in my late teens. And then I read something on springhole.org and realized I was doing this completely wrong and I was so glad I found that site. But anyway, I'm not here to advertise. Just don't glorify abuse (or harmful stereotypes or mental illness, please) because all it can do is make it very uncomfortable for anybody to RP with that character and it was probably the reason why I got ghosted so often.
2. Simple Google/Other-Browser Search
Use it. It's rather helpful. Please. You have no idea how often I find errors in Pokemon movesets because someone thinks or remembered incorrectly that Spearow can learn Wing Attack or a Cinderace can learn Inferno, which they can't. I don't expect people to research and give me a dissertation on the evolutionary aspects of Pokemon moves or the full translated history of a martial arts practice from our modern understanding of it to another universe. I do expect them to at least double check that they aren't wrong on details that are actually important to the plot or interactions within the RP. Misinformation can really hurt your character sheet. XD
While in points 1 and 1.5 I made it a huge deal to look up stuff about how a character would act realistically when given a tragic backstory, I really don't care if you do or don't research about anything else. Just don't be harmful about it.
NOTE: RPs Shouldn't Be A Chore Or A Job, But They Should Also Be Inclusive And Prevent/De-Escalate Fights/Flamewars Due To Dissenting Opinions, Misunderstandings, And Clashing Preferences And Ideas
RPs should be fun and explorative. If you want to do an RP with a character who has the insanity trope because it is your muse or you want to get the feel of what that's like, knock yourself out. Just tell everyone first that the take your character is making is not subject to realism and should not be taken as such and surround yourself with RPers who don't care what character you make. If you want to avoid doing the research and give your character tropey mental illness quirks and tragic backstories while having others understand that these should not be nitpicked due to doing it for explorative reasons, go ahead. Literally playing anything nowadays gets people butthurt, so I can't say "spare everyone's feelings" because that can get tiring and trying to appease someone's raising expectations on how you and your character should behave to them OOC and IC is not feasible. That isn't to say to not respect your RP partner's boundaries and listen when they don't feel comfortable about RPing something out, I just mean don't be a doormat to those who guilt-shame you into doing a lot of giving for them. However, let people know that you have a made-up variant of a mental condition. People are less likely to argue with you over the semantics of a made-up mental illness if you spout out your creative freedoms for all to hear. However, do not tell people that what mental illness or backstory-fueled personality your character has is realistic or true. XD That's one way to make people who have such history and mental illnesses uncomfortable and sends them some red flags if what you have is either harmfully wrong or disturbingly accurate.
This turned from sharing my unpopular opinion to going real deep all of a sudden. Hope this is okay here. XD I don't have the heart to change any of it. XD
3. Misinformation Can Be Harmful, But What Does It Matter If We Are All Playing?
Because anybody who has a mental condition or a sexuality or anything who sees a character and that character has a hilariously/horribly harmful stereotype being played, it says quite a bit about the player themselves. Not only does it make others wonder if you just don't know better or if you are somehow phobic or have a dislike for a certain group, it also spreads the harmful stereotype to other inexperienced writers/RPers and influences them to start making characters with that stuff. Granted, media is mostly to blame for this, but not being a good example for this can cause more harm than good. I'm not saying to be a parent or a babysitter for the masses, but more like just show off how cool you are by being respectful. There isn't enough nice and respectful people nowadays and it sucks. Plus, people who have a hard time separating what's real and what's fiction or those who think everyone is telling the truth on the internet will take these "teachings" to heart and their opinions and outlooks can negatively impact their lives. Of course, that is their issue for taking it to heart, but if a 12 year old kid does it and doesn't have the foresight to understand that this is bad, then they aren't going to learn and will end up hurting someone. It's just prevention of something we all probably don't care about enough, so it's not like I expect anyone to follow these opinions of mine (even though it literally sounded like I was pleading for 98% of this to believe in me. I'll have to figure out how to change that but I can't now xD). I mean, these are opinions. They are based on experiences (and sometimes fact) and our own perceptions of things, so yea. I just like being extra nice for everyone XD well, obviously not to the point of being a doormat. xD
Now, for some reason, this all sounds like me pleading to the void. XD I would go back and change it to make it sound more opinionated and less like I'm bargaining with a collective, but it's like 2 am in the morning and I don't have the brain power to change it. XD So, I guess pretend that most of this is meant to be conveyed as an opinion (I suck getting words out and actually meaning what I'm saying with them, so here's a good example of that). XD For some reason, I ranted (probably because I feel passionate about this topic), but my "unpopular" opinions are in there. You just gotta swim through the begging and bargaining and the "do's and don'ts" and read between the silver lines if I didn't make it explicit enough XD
1: Character Realism and Logistics with Setting
Please, for the love of all things good in whatever belief or comfort you find, please be slightly realistic with your characters' backstories if you are in Group RPs. I love realism in my characters and getting them to fit in culture and settings, and I don't see that enough nowadays. If you are on an RP where its literally a simple slice-of-life, journey, light-hearted, and/or comedic RP with the plot not being a big deal and you're just winging it, then fine. Go ahead and make whatever you want. I don't care. I just probably won't join unless I'm in a similar fun caffeinated-induced high. But if the story has a bit of a serious plot, even if the atmosphere at first is light-hearted, I gotta have backstories and personalities at least have some parallels. I love realism. I want my stories and RPs and characters to have life and be three-dimensional. But if that isn't your goal, then I don't care and knock yourself out. Break a leg. XD I don't care. I don't even care if you don't care about this opinion and do your thing anyway. Do it. Be you. I'll just likely end up trying to find a compromise with you if we end up RPing together or I'll just avoid you (which I have a hard time doing this since I'm quite masochistic).
What I do care is when you are completely serious about something with some expectation of realism and cohesiveness with your character bio for the RP and the thing you are serious about actually ends up bothering someone because it makes you look either ignorant or putting in stereotypes that spread misinformation of how people with a certain "quirk" or actual problem act like and what issues they have.
I won't name names or say where this was at specifically, but on another site in a superpower high school fandom RP, someone tried bringing in a character who was neglected and possibly abused as a young kid from his family due to not having a superpower, hated life except for his uncle who was the only one nice to him, and then his uncle frees him from his family and takes him to Japan, where he can get accepted into a school as a freshman at the age of 16. His uncle was an engineer and he was able to create gadgets that basically gave him a Batman/Iron Man vibe. Between learning how to use martial arts between the ages of 11-16, being able to master three different martial arts in that short span of time, learning another language with hardly a teacher (don't remember if his uncle knew Japanese, but couldn't remember), and learning about police law, first aid, and how citizens react when in a crisis is not doable. You can get some pretty damn good discipline at that age trying to learn all that, but you won't get to Bruce Lee or Jackie Chan levels realistically speaking with the martial arts (especially if you are trying to fit in an education on top of that). If he were 20-25, I can see that. But he didn't learn it from a teacher, the kid learned it himself. What made it worse was that the way the uncle was telling the kid to "use your anger to show them not to mess with you" is a villain trait. That's how you get mass shooters or bombers or those with a general disregard for life. A hero doesn't have that unless they are said to be anti-heroes. A hero is mostly "it doesn't matter what you feel and if you use those feelings, but always protect those weaker than yourself and your friends/family" (we were dealing with actual villains and heroes like Marvel/DC (but it wasn't those two universes) so that sentiment can really be heavily validated in this setting and sorry if it sounds generalized XD it's the fandom's established setting and I was rushing due to my phone dying when making this post). Plus, what made it worse was that the abused/neglected kid did not share the same pattern of behaviors real kids who were abused/neglected went through. Being married to someone who had a very abusive and neglectful childhood, he is a high functioning psychopath. But he is only one example. Doing a bit of research about how people act after their traumatic childhood/teen years can make or break a character for me.
Along with the gadgets not being actually needed to prevent destruction of the character's power or keep them living due to their power actively trying to kill them (because they have none to speak of), their permission form to bring said gadgets in would be denied by the higher-ups, preventing them from even passing the recommendations test or the entrance exam (he can do written, but he won't be able to do the practical exam where you have to fight giant robots or rescue people but given the character doesn't have the kindness to save anyone nor does he have anything to get him more points than 100 more qualified people who might have better attitudes or actual powers, so he won't be picked).
Now, back to what actually bugged me. The character did not have any redeeming qualities. When a child has gone through abusive trauma, they either get malicious and mean or they shut down and are basically like a zombie in life where depression and anxiety (or other illnesses) can hit hard then or when puberty comes around. These kids tend to become psychotic or form a mental illness (which needs more research to not generalize or stereotype something harmfully, but it is just as easy to create a mental illness yourself because actually getting the mental illness accurate can be uncomfortable for some people who have similar experiences). If the parent abuses the child to succeed, then it causes mass confusion within the child, and it creates this vacuum of disappointment of never being able to achieve the expectation due to the bar being set too high and always climbing.
If they were simply neglected, they would just become attention seekers, become good liars, and seek out outlets for attention, whether good or bad. Someone who is a driving force (like his uncle, which this is the only thing that works) helps in giving them direction and shows them about empathy and sympathy. Although, it depends on the character's personality whether or not they take this kind of trait from their uncle or anybody else they look up to as a mentor. A driving force to succeed and/or self-improvement (to avoid from him becoming a villain) would make him a hero. A driving force from a person who exploited the anger and hate in someone turns them into a villain, as exploiting anger and hate can cause a disregard in life, people in general, and can cause resentment against anyone who stands up to them and any authoritative figures. But those who are also abused or neglected in some fashion wouldn't be on the receiving end of this character's irritation due to going through similar situations (but that wasn't exactly detailed).
If the characters were bullied (whether by siblings, peers from outside the family, or parents), they may have anger issues. The way that comes about is through confusion. When they feel like crying and feeling guilt or shame isn't enough to get some kind of positive reinforcement, they resort to anger and acting out, which is where you get the anger issues if it is reinforced as "oh this makes me feel better, so I'm going to keep doing it". No matter if the parents try to stamp out the behavior, the character will end up having that. However, depending on the character, you can get an overly aggressive personality, a really meek one that makes Fluttershy from My Little Pony look aggressive and hot-headed when we first see her, or a socially awkward or socially distant character (not all the time, but it can happen). Some kids fall into a range or a spectrum that shifts around given time and events that develop them. You can also make sociopaths from abuse/neglect, which is a form of shutting down, even if the actions and behaviors they take are aggressive and manipulative.
His character was just selfish and aggressive. There was no other defining features about this character and it hurt to read. The player tried comparing his character to Batman, but Batman had superior intelligence and a physique he had been training for 20 years and had received the wealth and connections from his familial status, making the martial art master at 5 years with three of the martial arts seem like a Mary Sue by comparison. Just because you put your characters entire life to be something doesn't mean they keep rising. There are hills and dips they'll go through, and then they'll plateau once they reach their limit that they now have to break through. A 16 year old kid learning this in 5 years? No. Not realistic and the RP the character was submitted to had to have some realism.
It is actually more unlikely to get a story about how bad the parents treated their child with physical abuse and neglect that the CPS would have a field day with and more likely that they tried to mold the child to their liking by manipulating and emotionally abusing them with gaslighting, guilt-shaming, or bits of neglect. And what's even worse is that the manipulation is either extremely subtle or its a technique that has been passed down with the other parenting techniques in that family so they think they are doing something good or that what they are doing isn't bad. As a mom, it is super hard not to go to the downright harmful manipulation area that ends up destroying your kid's mental tools to help them with future situations and ends up making them the "bad kind of weird" individuals. I grew up and got my mental tools when I didn't learn them in the first place due to some bits of neglect. It took me 15 years. I redeemed myself. I could have been a horrible gross nerd who never left my mom's house and never had any substantial friendships or love interests and never had a chance to get married to an amazing man and bear our child. And I plan on not doing what my mother or father did when they tried raising me.
Now, it may sound like I just ripped this character a new one, but I'm getting to an actual point here. I don't care if I see that kind of character in a light-hearted RP or one that has no plot, like I said. I don't want to see these things in RPs where there is an expected amount of realism at play there. If other RPers and the GM are serious about an RP and expect it as such from each other to make cohesive characters, at least make an effort. Luckily, the guy took my advice and moved on from it, so I'm really glad they didn't get pissy with me. I'm thinking they just felt horrible and now I feel horrible for making them feel that bad, but at least they know better now. xD
1.5: Abusive/Tragic Backstories
If I am GMing, I don't want to have any character I'm judging go through an abusive backstory unless it has been properly researched and thought through without sounding tasteless (okay, if you can do it without research and still make it not sound tasteless, then kudos to you, you did it, but be careful with that. That's as dangerous as not studying for a final). Don't add an abusive past unless it actually drives the character forward (in plot and/or character development) and don't do it to make the character seem more like a badass or for cool factor or if you want to give your character a reason to endlessly whine about their problems and do a whole "woe is me" shindig. Because doing that isn't cool or badass, it just makes them seem a little pretentious and insufferable imo. Having a character have bad qualities through the abuse like this without changing them or planning for a redeemable developmental plotpoint can also make others, who view and relate to your character, feel like they can't be redeemed and it ruins the feeling of redemption for them, especially when it seems like there is no hope realistically and psychologically for that character to reach a goal to become someone decent in their life. The character I mentioned above was too impatient to make it. At best, he can be seen as an anti-hero leaning more towards acts of villainy. At worst, he looks like a villain trying too hard to be someone successful and seen as "good" in society when the behaviors he may take may end up hurting him if he tried to reach his goals.
While we have all made our tragic/abusive backstories and we may still be creating them unintentionally or on purpose, I would like to see people go a different route like actually make average characters for once. I did a lot of the tragic/abusive backstories of characters to make them edgy and cool, but what I actually did was make them into neurotic insufferable Mary Sues. What I did to them was more tragic and more abusive than the backstory I put in them if they were real people. It was a dumpster fire. I don't want to go back to that, but it is a guilty pleasure because my very first character when I was 8 had glorified abuse. I didn't know what I was doing but this pattern grew into my role-playing when I was 13 and then further on into me being in my late teens. And then I read something on springhole.org and realized I was doing this completely wrong and I was so glad I found that site. But anyway, I'm not here to advertise. Just don't glorify abuse (or harmful stereotypes or mental illness, please) because all it can do is make it very uncomfortable for anybody to RP with that character and it was probably the reason why I got ghosted so often.
2. Simple Google/Other-Browser Search
Use it. It's rather helpful. Please. You have no idea how often I find errors in Pokemon movesets because someone thinks or remembered incorrectly that Spearow can learn Wing Attack or a Cinderace can learn Inferno, which they can't. I don't expect people to research and give me a dissertation on the evolutionary aspects of Pokemon moves or the full translated history of a martial arts practice from our modern understanding of it to another universe. I do expect them to at least double check that they aren't wrong on details that are actually important to the plot or interactions within the RP. Misinformation can really hurt your character sheet. XD
While in points 1 and 1.5 I made it a huge deal to look up stuff about how a character would act realistically when given a tragic backstory, I really don't care if you do or don't research about anything else. Just don't be harmful about it.
NOTE: RPs Shouldn't Be A Chore Or A Job, But They Should Also Be Inclusive And Prevent/De-Escalate Fights/Flamewars Due To Dissenting Opinions, Misunderstandings, And Clashing Preferences And Ideas
RPs should be fun and explorative. If you want to do an RP with a character who has the insanity trope because it is your muse or you want to get the feel of what that's like, knock yourself out. Just tell everyone first that the take your character is making is not subject to realism and should not be taken as such and surround yourself with RPers who don't care what character you make. If you want to avoid doing the research and give your character tropey mental illness quirks and tragic backstories while having others understand that these should not be nitpicked due to doing it for explorative reasons, go ahead. Literally playing anything nowadays gets people butthurt, so I can't say "spare everyone's feelings" because that can get tiring and trying to appease someone's raising expectations on how you and your character should behave to them OOC and IC is not feasible. That isn't to say to not respect your RP partner's boundaries and listen when they don't feel comfortable about RPing something out, I just mean don't be a doormat to those who guilt-shame you into doing a lot of giving for them. However, let people know that you have a made-up variant of a mental condition. People are less likely to argue with you over the semantics of a made-up mental illness if you spout out your creative freedoms for all to hear. However, do not tell people that what mental illness or backstory-fueled personality your character has is realistic or true. XD That's one way to make people who have such history and mental illnesses uncomfortable and sends them some red flags if what you have is either harmfully wrong or disturbingly accurate.
This turned from sharing my unpopular opinion to going real deep all of a sudden. Hope this is okay here. XD I don't have the heart to change any of it. XD
3. Misinformation Can Be Harmful, But What Does It Matter If We Are All Playing?
Because anybody who has a mental condition or a sexuality or anything who sees a character and that character has a hilariously/horribly harmful stereotype being played, it says quite a bit about the player themselves. Not only does it make others wonder if you just don't know better or if you are somehow phobic or have a dislike for a certain group, it also spreads the harmful stereotype to other inexperienced writers/RPers and influences them to start making characters with that stuff. Granted, media is mostly to blame for this, but not being a good example for this can cause more harm than good. I'm not saying to be a parent or a babysitter for the masses, but more like just show off how cool you are by being respectful. There isn't enough nice and respectful people nowadays and it sucks. Plus, people who have a hard time separating what's real and what's fiction or those who think everyone is telling the truth on the internet will take these "teachings" to heart and their opinions and outlooks can negatively impact their lives. Of course, that is their issue for taking it to heart, but if a 12 year old kid does it and doesn't have the foresight to understand that this is bad, then they aren't going to learn and will end up hurting someone. It's just prevention of something we all probably don't care about enough, so it's not like I expect anyone to follow these opinions of mine (even though it literally sounded like I was pleading for 98% of this to believe in me. I'll have to figure out how to change that but I can't now xD). I mean, these are opinions. They are based on experiences (and sometimes fact) and our own perceptions of things, so yea. I just like being extra nice for everyone XD well, obviously not to the point of being a doormat. xD
Now, for some reason, this all sounds like me pleading to the void. XD I would go back and change it to make it sound more opinionated and less like I'm bargaining with a collective, but it's like 2 am in the morning and I don't have the brain power to change it. XD So, I guess pretend that most of this is meant to be conveyed as an opinion (I suck getting words out and actually meaning what I'm saying with them, so here's a good example of that). XD For some reason, I ranted (probably because I feel passionate about this topic), but my "unpopular" opinions are in there. You just gotta swim through the begging and bargaining and the "do's and don'ts" and read between the silver lines if I didn't make it explicit enough XD
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nerdy tangents
One Thousand Club
Merciless Medic
if I might offer my own unpopular opinion to expand on yours. I think when it comes to characters what you want is not so much realism but relatability.Especially when it comes to mental illness, abuse, trauma, etc. It isn’t enough to just research symptoms of all these circumstance and pepper them into personality/backstory.
Especially since all those circumstances are very nuanced and can’t really be broken down into a simple checklist of personality traits.
What I think makes “tragic” characters (or even characters with mental illness) successful is their coping mechanism. Because coping mechanism are universal traits that everyone can understand regardless of personal experience.
I will use a simple example (but this can translate to pretty much any bit of adversity your character faces)
Anxiety is a very common issue on this site. A vast majority of users have it in some capacity (whether clinical anxiety or just a lack of self esteem about their roleplay skills)
I myself have clinical anxiety, it’s largely situational based. One of my biggest triggers is finance. If I don’t have a lot of money in my bank account or my mom blows our money on useless crap it makes me incredibly anxious.
Whenever I start to feel overwhelmed I redirect my energy into something else. Usually roleplay, reading, or starting a new podcast. Basically distractions that calm me down and put me in my “happy place.”
Now you don’t need to know a lot of details about my symptoms to understand my coping mechanism. Because we all get those feelings of being overwhelmed and redirect to something that soothes us.
So I think taking that approach, “how does my character cope with XYZ” makes them seem more realistic.
Cuz unless your dealing with a specific trauma of someone (which they usually ask you not to write about anyway) then Chances are they will react more to the coping than the symptoms anyway
Jannah
Barely holding on.
Tragic backstories can be effective if written carefully. Like, if a person is trying to write a villain or severely flawed character then I think they can work well for that. Villains who are evil simply for the sake of being evil are usually boring or even unrealistic in many cases. I like my villains to have depth, even more so if they have motives that the reader/viewer can almost sympathize with. The most interesting villains are the ones the reader knows are evil and should not be sympathized with, but their backstories almost make them worth sympathizing with regardless. Of course this sort of character can not be pulled off well by everyone, but those who are able to then great! I welcome it!
Merciless Medic
Walking Pokemon Dictionary
I'm not saying "don't do tragic backstories at all". I'm saying they are overdone and I prefer to see more average or less angsty backstories. I don't mind if a villain has a backstory that make me have a pity-crush on them and their viewpoints humanizes them while their actions can still drive the main plot as an antagonist. Severely flawed characters are also those with lots of angsty backstories because they need to have something about them that makes them who they are during that time in the plot or story and that backstory must drive them to reach relatable (even if severely flawed) goals.
I love humanizing my villains. I hate the whole "everything must be black and white" thing like how all heroes are good and cannot have anything that questions their morals and tough decisions while all villains are all bad and do bad things and can't do anything good in their life. I hate that so much XD It's so unrealistic, but a lot of shows nowadays (and even back then) have that, so I can't fault anyone for that mindset.
I made that post really late at night after having 2 consecutive nights of no sleep, so I apologize how that entire rant sounds. I feel like I'm going to have people replying to my post to correct me or give me another viewpoint of theirs. XD I don't mind. Just hoping yall are nice about it. XD
Ohhh how I hate my late night ravings.
CecilDMMasters
Member
Merciless Medic
I love playing characters with tragic backstory and traumatic events. But I've run into many players that have made me hate what I love in a RP setting. In RolePlay one of the biggest is the players that want to play the suffering for the sake of the suffering. Either they love the suffering far too much. Or they just make a story to catch attention but then nothing real comes of it. Tragic events in a characters life in my opinion should be about how the character comes through it and where it takes them as a character. Not to practically fetishize suffering or to just toss out to sound cool and not actually flesh out. It's takes balance. It can be rather immersive breaking when someone lists some tragedy and that's it. "My character had a sad event. Very sad." and then it's never once actually part of the character. I call this sort of thing Saturday Morning cartoon writing. Like the whole back story of the tale is epic and strong but then child censors came in and the actual story is way PG.
But at the same time I've been worn down by the opposite. The ones who want to make the characters suffering pretty much the RP. I actually have a ranting advice post on here about that one.
Merciless Medic
Walking Pokemon Dictionary
Especially when it comes to mental illness, abuse, trauma, etc. It isn’t enough to just research symptoms of all these circumstance and pepper them into personality/backstory.
Especially since all those circumstances are very nuanced and can’t really be broken down into a simple checklist of personality traits.
What I think makes “tragic” characters (or even characters with mental illness) successful is their coping mechanism. Because coping mechanism are universal traits that everyone can understand regardless of personal experience.
I will use a simple example (but this can translate to pretty much any bit of adversity your character faces)
Anxiety is a very common issue on this site. A vast majority of users have it in some capacity (whether clinical anxiety or just a lack of self esteem about their roleplay skills)
I myself have clinical anxiety, it’s largely situational based. One of my biggest triggers is finance. If I don’t have a lot of money in my bank account or my mom blows our money on useless crap it makes me incredibly anxious.
Whenever I start to feel overwhelmed I redirect my energy into something else. Usually roleplay, reading, or starting a new podcast. Basically distractions that calm me down and put me in my “happy place.”
Now you don’t need to know a lot of details about my symptoms to understand my coping mechanism. Because we all get those feelings of being overwhelmed and redirect to something that soothes us.
So I think taking that approach, “how does my character cope with XYZ” makes them seem more realistic.
Cuz unless your dealing with a specific trauma of someone (which they usually ask you not to write about anyway) then Chances are they will react more to the coping than the symptoms anyway
I completely agree. Triggers and coping mechanisms really help flesh out the character. I do understand that researching about this stuff isn't going to get anyone anywhere if they don't know how to translate it into making a fully fleshed out character. It's a balancing act.
I'm quite anxious myself XD Which RP and writing helps to alleviate my anxiety, especially when I start worrying about death. My rant stemmed from people using trauma and mental illness as a way to make their character cool or "quirky" or get attention in-RP and that was it. So I'm glad we can agree. XD
Also, sorry if I'm flip-flopping my opinions. My emotions and thoughts are just SDFHOHWO;EJADFI
It can be rather immersive breaking when someone lists some tragedy and that's it. "My character had a sad event. Very sad." and then it's never once actually part of the character. I call this sort of thing Saturday Morning cartoon writing. Like the whole back story of the tale is epic and strong but then child censors came in and the actual story is way PG.
But at the same time I've been worn down by the opposite. The ones who want to make the characters suffering pretty much the RP. I actually have a ranting advice post on here about that one.
I like making characters with tragic backstories, but I feel gross when I keep doing it. XD I finally got out of my comfort zone and made more characters with more normal backgrounds and I feel really happy with it, especially since I can then put them through suffering to make them grow into (hopefully) better people. I hate it when people glorify tragedy. TV shows do it, and it really destroys any credibility for the director(s) for me. And I hate the censorships XD I mean, great if there was something really offensive, but like.... Now it's too much. XD
Have I seen it? I'm not sure. XD
CecilDMMasters
Member
Experiences - Characters with tragic pasts, issues and PTSD
To get started I would like to point out I love a character with a tragic past issue. I have many characters with one issue or another. I have had friends send me memes, tell me if writers are gods of their worlds I am more like a demon and recently had someone threaten to put my characters in...
www.rpnation.com
Glorifying it is a pretty good description for it. I have some pretty horrid villains and can be mean to characters. It can be disturbing when I am trying to set a horror mood and the other player is just getting . . . .lets just say weird.
ScatheAriiasqDrayceon
Just cause I read worse don't mean it ain't cursed
I love, love love roleplaying with the same characters over and over again (both me and my partner) but only if they're thought out.
See, I have this... thing where I tend to overanalyze me, my partners, and every character I come across. I like looking at how they tick, what breaks them, what doesn't; it's like getting to know someone new.
But that being said, it needs to be done well. Playing a character with the same personality no matter their backstory is not playing a character well. An example of that is my Fire Main, who I use for rps where I don't know people—usually in tandem with my Tall Main (using their tagnames because actual names vary)—But back to the point. Fire Main tends to a bit of... okay, a lot of a brat in most roleplays because of my go-to backstory. They're usually a bit spiteful and sarcastic and love good banter, but that's just about where the similarities end.
FoTP!Fire Main is quiet and contemplative, usually speaking quickly and harshly in a low tone of voice. They're a vicious racer and generally don't like people due to growing up in a small, narrow-minded town. They love hugs and physical contact from those they trust, but don't like being touched by strangers or people they're barely acquainted with because of their racing hobby (racing in this is basically a physically-intensive high-contact sport).
Piscine!Fire Main is cautious and jumpy, having grown up in a very bad place. They don't like being touched at all due to a complete lack of trust in anyone. They have no filter, social skills, or self-restraint from being so used to driving on instinct.
Flower!Fire Main is... actually really normal considering Fire Main. They still don't like being touched all that much because that's one of the core aspects of their character, but it's not to the extent of being weird and they don't have much trauma, so there's no real reason for them to have some of the walls and negative coping mechanisms. They like keeping secrets because secrets are valuable when you're a highschool student, they like building things, and they like freerunning. They're generally very observant just because they thought it was a useful skill to have.
I absolutely adore looking at things this way because it's really interesting when you put characters in varying scenarios; seeing something you didn't expect just come out.
See, I have this... thing where I tend to overanalyze me, my partners, and every character I come across. I like looking at how they tick, what breaks them, what doesn't; it's like getting to know someone new.
But that being said, it needs to be done well. Playing a character with the same personality no matter their backstory is not playing a character well. An example of that is my Fire Main, who I use for rps where I don't know people—usually in tandem with my Tall Main (using their tagnames because actual names vary)—But back to the point. Fire Main tends to a bit of... okay, a lot of a brat in most roleplays because of my go-to backstory. They're usually a bit spiteful and sarcastic and love good banter, but that's just about where the similarities end.
FoTP!Fire Main is quiet and contemplative, usually speaking quickly and harshly in a low tone of voice. They're a vicious racer and generally don't like people due to growing up in a small, narrow-minded town. They love hugs and physical contact from those they trust, but don't like being touched by strangers or people they're barely acquainted with because of their racing hobby (racing in this is basically a physically-intensive high-contact sport).
Piscine!Fire Main is cautious and jumpy, having grown up in a very bad place. They don't like being touched at all due to a complete lack of trust in anyone. They have no filter, social skills, or self-restraint from being so used to driving on instinct.
Flower!Fire Main is... actually really normal considering Fire Main. They still don't like being touched all that much because that's one of the core aspects of their character, but it's not to the extent of being weird and they don't have much trauma, so there's no real reason for them to have some of the walls and negative coping mechanisms. They like keeping secrets because secrets are valuable when you're a highschool student, they like building things, and they like freerunning. They're generally very observant just because they thought it was a useful skill to have.
I absolutely adore looking at things this way because it's really interesting when you put characters in varying scenarios; seeing something you didn't expect just come out.
stranger
New Member
Not sure if this is an unpopular opinion, but I actually really enjoy reading long RP interest checks or search threads or PMs. It shows a lot of effort and is really precise in exactly what the person is looking for. At the end, I have a better knowing if I would get on well with the person/group or not. Even if I feel like I wouldn’t match the interest of person’s thread that I’m reading, I could acknowledge that they gave me enough information to form a reasonable decision.
While I understand the appeal of reading short RP interest checks, being easily digestible and less daunting to read, I’m usually left guessing or unsure because there’s missing information - either writing style or plot ideas or general interests. To me, it translates to simpler and more fast-paced type of role-player. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. It’s just not my cup of tea.
I like my RPs like I like my tea - warm, full of subtle detail, rich colours, and different tones of flavour.
While I understand the appeal of reading short RP interest checks, being easily digestible and less daunting to read, I’m usually left guessing or unsure because there’s missing information - either writing style or plot ideas or general interests. To me, it translates to simpler and more fast-paced type of role-player. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. It’s just not my cup of tea.
I like my RPs like I like my tea - warm, full of subtle detail, rich colours, and different tones of flavour.
AndPeggy
New Member
This might actually be a popular opinion but it's so common to see him any kind of RP:
I just really dislike the stereotypes commonly given to gay characters where small-statured/pretty/shy=bottom and large/muscular/angry=top.
Homosexuality is already super fetishized in the RP community but that's what annoys me the most about it.
I just really dislike the stereotypes commonly given to gay characters where small-statured/pretty/shy=bottom and large/muscular/angry=top.
Homosexuality is already super fetishized in the RP community but that's what annoys me the most about it.
Sludge
-
Dang.
These things seem like they stem from how much experience your group has with writing and rping. A lot of people get into this hobby because they are looking for power fantasy wish fulfillment. Imho there is nothing wrong with that, it is not a bad way to unwind. They are just playing a different game.
Just gotta do your best to filter players. Make search threads that appeal to the sort of people you are looking for.
Jannah
Barely holding on.
I actually like the long ones too for the same reason.
Adelais Schaffwolle
New Member
while i'm still heavily against godmodding, powerplay, etc., i don't think that it should be made a point of contention in the case that an RPer is attempting to create a character whom is meant to be strong/meta in comparison to other characters, or at least fit some form of game-wise "meta" niche. obviously, standards still need to be set up by the managers of the RP to nerf and balance characters (otherwise crp can be a drain), but in the end, there's nothing wrong with trying to counterbalance your character's weaknesses or stay cautious of where/what it is you try to do, nor is there anything wrong with trying to arrange your gear/strategize in a way that your character can make up for these weaknesses. still, doesn't mean that they should be absolutely flawless and unbeatable, but people shouldn't be getting mad at people for wanting to create characters for the sake of winning.
Merciless Medic
Walking Pokemon Dictionary
Its on a different site that mainly does Pokemon RP, as well as having another section for anything that doesn't include Pokemon. Most of the people in the RP I was in were mostly semi-lit to detailed RPers with characters that made sense. Plus, there was no search thread, just the RP and sign-up thread as it wasn't on RpN.
I wasn't exactly the GM in the RP, but the GM did agree with me on most points about the character, and I only made that long post about the issues of having that level of tragic past after the character sheet was already rejected and i did it due to people in that RP having gone through bad parenting. I felt that someone might have cared, so I didn't want anyone to get all uppity, but I ended up getting a little uppity myself when writing it.
I wasn't offended that they made the character that way, I was more saddened and a little worried about the others around. Granted, I tried to be as cordial as possible and they said they were going to do better.
I do however, enjoy a bit of power fantasy wish fulfillment, but I don't like it in my RPs. If I did send in my characters (who are largely Mary Sue), I'd have so many people ghosting me XD as they are rather unfair to play against.
nerdy tangents
One Thousand Club
So no one is saying your can’t make power fantasy wishfullfillment. Just that you don’t have to co-opt real trauma to do it.
You want your character to be different? Write them with unique personality. Don’t claim they have a mental illness you know nothing about
You want your character to be uneasy/vengeful against the opposite sex? Just say they grew up in a strict upbringing where the opposite sex was treated like a boogeyman out to get them. Don’t say they were raped or sexually assaulted.
You want them to be an orphan with a quest for vengeance? Maybe just say they hate people who orphan kids. They don’t need a tragic backstory to explain basic human decency. Heck you can say they come from a close knit family and they hate the idea of someone taking that away from them.
I think that’s what the original poster meant. Not oh you can’t make these kinds of stories. Just make them without using real trauma as a short hand to make your characters more interesting.
Jannah
Barely holding on.
Tragic backstories can work, but these are all good points here. I played a super homophobic character once and he was homophobic for no other reason except that he was raised in a strict traditionalist Catholic household. There was no need there to say a gay person assaulted or abused him in the past.
Syntra
Baba Yaga
Personally, I think rearch in rps isn't that important. I don't really care about the exact composition of alloys that were used in armor-making in the medieval Europe, nor do I wish to waste my time on finding out. Like, this isn't a dissertation, man. Realism is a false god, anyway.
Jannah
Barely holding on.
As a huge historical RPer myself I don't get too hung up on accuracy as long as common sense is being used. Any discrepancies should at least make sense for the era. Like, you're not going to see gunpowder in ancient Rome, for example.
nerdy tangents
One Thousand Club
Exactly. A few of my superhero roleplays required tragic backstories for people to get superpowers.
But it was always vague things like “character is in a car crash, she’s fine because boom instant powers” or whatever. It still gives that power fantasy element without me going into details.
nerdy tangents
One Thousand Club
I think some surface level research can help or at least some world building that sets the ground rules in-universe.
Maybe you don’t need to know the exact composition of armor but you do need to know that only a specific type is available in the roleplay.
So no one can pull a special snowflake flouncing act and make up some random BS to make their character stand out.
Syntra
Baba Yaga
Tbh that's not really relevant to my playstyle! I only do 1x1s, with a focus on deeply personal stories, and the idea of my partner wanting to one up me with their super cool armor kinda makes me laugh. Like, I'm not even gonna describe my character's armor. To me, that's just a part of scenery, and I simply don't care.
stranger
New Member
I actually do a little of both when it comes to RPing. I’m a huge science person and I’m fascinated by learning so I don’t mind doing the research to give my characters depth and to keep them and their experience realistic to a timeline (at least for historical RPs). But the research isn’t something I impose on partners. I actually just share what I find out OOC.
Icepurp
Mother
Totally agree, one liners aren't as bad as people make them out to be. If there's not much going on in the scene, then there's no reason to fluff out your posts talking about the dew in the grass or somethin.'
Though, it is important to keep up with the other person. If a person posts a paragraph, keep that energy pls. x-x
Though, it is important to keep up with the other person. If a person posts a paragraph, keep that energy pls. x-x
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