Viewpoint Unpopular roleplay opinions?

[Dutch]

I just think it's very common because of who dominates the community. I can't say without some kind of poll across hundred of sites. But there are a lot of women and LGBTQIA+ people in the paragraph rp community, and we love romantic theming, shipping and character + relationship driven stories (this is inside of our fantasy epics, our scifi galactic space pirate adventures, our murder mysteries, and war stories).

I mean I'm a woman and I am queer . . . and 90% of my bookshelf, 100% of my AO3 reads, and 100% of my roleplays have romance themes with various non-romance plots. Sure my RPs tell narratives that go beyond "getting in each other pants" and yes my fic reads are more than just fucking, and yes the books in my shelf tell grand sweeping epic tales with romance in them! BUT they are also romantic, and yes people are also trying to get into each other pants; doesn't make the theme inherently wrong.

I am but one gay girl defending a pretty fun theme/genre . . . and I can't prove why it's popular . . . I can only really make general sweeping statements . . . and I know not all women or gays are like me.

But I can say people are mean about romance and I want to defend that shit to my dying breath!

 

[Dutch]

Yo I will say 1 x 1 roleplaying is very "get in pants" driven romance stuff. Yes there are sweeping stories, but they are very, very, very "fuck me please". Rare times you'll find something otherwise, but both of you are as old as me and must have experienced this since the drawn of time. Like that isn't a strange or new revolation . . . I mean I could be very wrong.

My group RPs are usually not so "fuck me please" even if they have some romantic elements.

 

[Crayons]

I'm a fan of romance as integrated into a story. And even pure fluffy romance is good too. I'll happily do an RP that has none if that's how it goes, but a bit of romance sprinkles is always good. :3

I feel like I'm from a different planet, lol. None of my 1x1s have been pants-getting-into stories. XD Heck, my most recent character who had a romance and his partner took A YEAR of RP to finally do the wild monkey dance. It was super innocent and cute.

 

[Dutch]

Crayons Yeah I did a "get in pants" story that took 2 years for the OG couple to even get hands down pants . . . they actually never got to fuck . . . the other side couples did . . . but the reason we start the RP in the first place, the main couple, they did not do the deed . . . we fake killed one and seperated them by an entire solar system . . . go us!

But that is what I mean. Romance happened in your RP they didn't do the dance until a year of RPing went by, but that doesn't mean romance didn't happen . . . you know . . . like it's more than U W U **** to my ****** and my ***** with my mouth! It's a part of stories . . . kinda my OG point!

 

[Marisathief]

I feel like I'm from a different planet, lol. None of my 1x1s have been pants-getting-into stories.

XD You're a complete alien! But you're a cool alien.

 

[Crayons]

XD You're a complete alien! But you're a cool alien.

Thank you

 

[Dutch]

By the way you guys have been a delight to talk to and very polite I appreciate it.

 

[Crayons]

By the way you guys have been a delight to talk to and very polite I appreciate it.

You're most welcome! It's been fun.

 

[Dutch]

Related and just a footnote because I am thinking to myself before I go to sleep.

Context clues would also suggest romance is as popular in the lit RP community because of how many LGBTQIA+ people are in the community too. Which I mentioned before, but to expand on it as LGBTQIA+ people we have very little representation of ourselves in media and stories. Part of who we are and what we want is representation and normalization of our sexualities and most important our relationships. So it isn't such a stretch to say that many LGBTQIA+ people want to roleplay romance as a way to create our own narratives, normalize our relationships and to pull fandom back into the loop; tell the stories about our favorite character ships we wish existed in canon. Usually all of this with other fellow gays!!

A lot of LGBTQIA+ identity is our sexuality our relationships, they are what define us and we often have to create our own spaces. So I would say another element to the romance is popular is who is in the community . . . I dunno just throwing that out because I thought about it and why would I shutup . . . I don't know how to shutup!!!

 

[ApfelSeine]

I think it's a good point that some communities may find romance more appealing than others because of how it ties into personal identity and expression of said identity. There's an argument to be made there that roleplays allow for freedom of expression or chances for exploration of romance, sexuality, and other things that one might be restricted from exploring in real life. At the same time, there's no way that's the hard and fast rule. Nearly every experience I have had with straight male roleplayers generally involved some sort of romance at one point (though most often it's "I roll to seduce the guard").

For instance, in a Harry Potter rp I joined, (1 gay dude, 2 straight dudes, and me) we all got dates, so go us lol In a Pokemon rp, the only person whose goal was to pursue romance was also our only male player. I've had plenty of male users on this site do one on one romance roleplays with me. There was one dude who even tried to start his own group harem rp lol, so it's not even exclusive to 1x1s. There's no shortage of guys into romance. Kinda reminds me of a guy I met who was surprised that I like anime because, and I quote, "I've never met a girl who likes anime before". It all depends on the circles you run in really. Plenty of girls are into anime and plenty of dudes dig romance, so that's worth embracing too rather than stereotyping who likes what.

(No particular reason for stirring the pot other than to shout out to my bros who are all aboard embracing roleplays or characters that are romantically inclined)

And on a side note, y'all better be fading to black before anyones hands go anywhere XD

I'd say one of my unpopular opinions is that it's not hard to find one on ones that don't deal exclusively in romance, just that it's hard to find GOOD ones. Honestly I've found some of the better ways to get a good 1x1 partner is to find folks with similar interests and pitch ideas to them. It's not always successful but hey, neither are interest checks. Plus, making friends is fun

 

[rosiphaura]

I really wish I could just casually talk with my rp partner and get to know them. idk why

 

[ApfelSeine]

I really wish I could just casually talk with my rp partner and get to know them. idk why

I don't think it's unusual to want to get to know the folks you're playing with. Though I have noticed that people tend to say "let's keep a lively ooc chat going!" Then they just kinda... Don't? It can be hard, but it's great to make an effort to help keep an open dialogue with an rp partner.

I think people are often anxious about being the one to reach out first. Though if you see someone say they are open to ooc chat, definitely take them up on that. I feel like ya gotta be a bit pushy about it at first, but there longer things go on the more casual and fun your conversations will be.

 

[rosiphaura]

I don't think it's unusual to want to get to know the folks you're playing with. Though I have noticed that people tend to say "let's keep a lively ooc chat going!" Then they just kinda... Don't? It can be hard, but it's great to make an effort to help keep an open dialogue with an rp partner.

I think people are often anxious about being the one to reach out first. Though if you see someone say they are open to ooc chat, definitely take them up on that. I feel like ya gotta be a bit pushy about it at first, but there longer things go on the more casual and fun your conversations will be.

Yes! This is exactly what I meant, thanks for clarifying that! I don't think it's unusual either but ooc tends to die pretty often and even though I do tend to be the person to reach out first I also get a bit insecure about being pushy, I feel like I could be bothering them and stuff like that

 

[rae2nerdy]

So for me I think the problem with romance is precisely because it isn’t inclusive.

It’s overwhelmingly about straight crushes OR sometimes straight crushes masquerading as gay crushes.

Like there is a lack of nuance and a lack of actual relationships in romance writing that turns me off the genre.

And honestly the “not all women” and “not all romance writers” battle cries also get annoying sometimes too.

Because no one has ever said that writing a romantic relationship is inherently bad. No one is even saying writing crushes is bad if that’s what you want to do.

All anyone is saying is expecting all women to conform to a extremely limited idea of what constitutes a crush, usually a women crushing on a man or a feminine man crushing on a masculine man and calling THAT “romance” is disingenuous

Not all women have crushes. Not all women define their life or sense of self by crushes. Not all women have crushes on men or masculine figures.

So perhaps a better way to say it isn’t that people dislike romance it’s that people hate the presumption of heteronormative crushes being a defining characteristic of all individuals in possession of a vagina.

 

[ApfelSeine]

So for me I think the problem with romance is precisely because it isn’t inclusive.

It’s overwhelmingly about straight crushes OR sometimes straight crushes masquerading as gay crushes.

Like there is a lack of nuance and a lack of actual relationships in romance writing that turns me off the genre.

And honestly the “not all women” and “not all romance writers” battle cries also get annoying sometimes too.

Because no one has ever said that writing a romantic relationship is inherently bad. No one is even saying writing crushes is bad if that’s what you want to do.

All anyone is saying is expecting all women to conform to a extremely limited idea of what constitutes a crush, usually a women crushing on a man or a feminine man crushing on a masculine man and calling THAT “romance” is disingenuous

Not all women have crushes. Not all women define their life or sense of self by crushes. Not all women have crushes on men or masculine figures.

So perhaps a better way to say it isn’t that people dislike romance it’s that people hate the presumption of heteronormative crushes being a defining characteristic of all individuals in possession of a vagina.

I'd be inclined to disagree with a lot of that, especially that there's some strong expectations placed on characters of different groups, though I'd say most complaints I see about romance is that it's so pervasive that it ends up being expected. So much so that even if it's not explicitly stated, 1x1s tend to assume characters should be romantically compatible or attracted to each other. I would also agree that there is some expectation of heteronormativity in pairings, as some GMs try to balance out male to female ratios in group rps (which tends not to work out much cause people make bi or ace or gay/lesbian characters, etc).

People in general so seem more receptive to the presumption of heteronormativity (even in same gendered pairings as you pointed out), though I rarely see folks reject other pairings outright unless they "don't really get it". Which yes, I've actually heard someone say that in response to someone making a lesbian character.

Still, having characters who fit typical gender roles isn't inherently bad. I'm prone to playing flirtatious girl characters who are bi when I'm not experimenting with other types of characters. I have two which I primarily use. One of them gets crushes on "masculine types", or rather just folks who are strong and beefy, traits attributed to but not exclusive to men. (The other doesn't get crushes and just does it to mess with people or distract them while she steals their stuff. So I guess that doesn't really fall into the point I'm making. But dang it sure is fun playing a variety of girls with different motivations.)

I don't think it's bad to play stereotypes so long as one is aware of what is actually harmful to portray. Like, as a psych major, I get peeved by people who don't know how to portray the real symptoms of a mental disorder (like "psychotic" people being inherently violent when many aren't, which typically happens when players just don't have any other way of explaining why a character is bloodthirsty without attributing it to a mental disorder they don't really understand). I mean, they don't have the same background that I and some others do in psych, so I get why. It is just pretty cringworthy.

That said, there often are people in real life who fit into a stereotype, like androgynous or "feminine/masculine" gay characters, who would prefer not to be told that it's bad to write about characters like themselves. I've got a friend who gets a ton of hate for playing their character as a feminine gay guy because it "promotes heterosexual roles in a gay relationship", but he himself is a feminine gay guy who likes stereotypical masculine traits in a partner. Heterosexuals policing gay dudes for the way they wanna portray their characters is probably just as toxic as what they're being accused of doing by having a feminine or flamboyant gay character (probably more so really). Those types of guys do exist after all. All types of people exist. You can't swing a dead cat without hitting someone who exhibits stereotypical traits. The important thing to remember is that a stereotype won't apply to all people in a group, though that probably goes without saying for all y'all.

 

[Marisathief]

I really wish I could just casually talk with my rp partner and get to know them. idk why

I think it should just be just an part of the experience. Like I'm not seriously going to chat with a person for like a year and act like we're not friends. We clearly have similar interests and are interested in what the other person has to say. If you roleplay with me I'm going to be friendly OOC there's no opting out of that for me.

 

[Dutch]

NVM I'm reposting it. Deleted it originally because I felt like I'm screaming into a void, but w/e I'll scream into that void why not.

All anyone is saying is expecting all women to conform to a extremely limited idea of what constitutes a crush, usually a women crushing on a man or a feminine man crushing on a masculine man and calling THAT “romance” is disingenuous

Yeah but that wasn't what my original post was saying or talking about at all, nor any of my responses for that matter.

My post wasn't directed at women or people who happened to have had dog shit experiences or simply don't care for the genre. It was direct at people who shit on the romance genre because it exists, who write it off as low lit, unsophisticated, small woman brain literature. It was directed at the people who describe it as only " U w U *kisses* ", as two 12 year old faffing around in a thread, as a single attribute and nothing else unable to contribute to the narrative.

It was directed at people who ascribe simplified, usually very insulting characteristics and examples to the genre / theme to belittle it, make it lesser, and by proxy the people who write it as unintelligent waifs who don't "understand" real story telling, who are missing out, and are incapable of understanding the superiority of "X, Y, Z" genre / theme / subject matter over romance.

I never said, nor expect anyone to conform to heteronormative bullshit.

I know people shit on romance because it is written off as a low lit, nonsense woman genre with nothing of substance, zero contribution and creatively stilted story telling only able to tell basic tales of "woman fuck man, u w u, carry me off into the sunset Edward". I know people who hate it hate it because it exists, it's popular, and it's popular with women and LGBTQIA+ people the very groups that often populate shipping fandom spaces and places like RP communities, fan communities, and fanfiction communities.

So yeah my original post and anything after is directed at the asshole who write it off as lesser, make the people who love it feel lesser, shit all over it because it exists, and make gross sweeping generalization of it to help compound their points as if it can't be more than what they say it is.

It's to promote the unpopular opinion that it's actually great, it's intelligent, it's inclusive and can tell just as grand a story as one that doesn't have romance. And to feel loud, proud and unashamed of ones love for a theme / subject / genre that get a whole lot of undeserved flak for existing.

 

[Dutch]

I really wish I could just casually talk with my rp partner and get to know them. idk why

I feel this. I try often but I usually scare them off or make them uncomfortable because I talk like we're friends. Not really to TMI but I think I'm too casual and open and just sort of blather on that people shy away.

 

[Crayons]

I feel this. I try often but I usually scare them off or make them uncomfortable because I talk like we're friends. Not really to TMI but I think I'm too casual and open and just sort of blather on that people shy away.

I can't imagine not talking to my RP partners OOC. It seems a little odd if they don't want to. At least talk about the plot or your characters or something...?! D:

(Intended as a response to this whole line of discussion but the multiquote thing is like ... wtf.)

 

[Nue]

This is just kinda related to the topic of romance RPs, but I don't think I'd ever be able to do a RP where the sole genre is romance. Not because I dislike it, I love cute romance stuff, but because like.. what if my characters don't particularly end up having romantic feelings towards any of the other characters? What if they just don't, idk, 'click'? What do I do then-

 

[Dutch]

I can't imagine not talking to my RP partners OOC. It seems a little odd if they don't want to. At least talk about the plot or your characters or something...?! D:

They'll talk plot and stuff, but I'll sometimes just drone about life and work like I'm talking to my bestie . . .and that isn't as favorable.

 

[Trektek]

I love having romance stories. But usually they aren't just romance or there are other things going on or around. I love having those romances bud through interactions over time and I love writing with many different types of characters. I am a man and I write very well with both female and male characters. My favorite romances that I wrote was a Male Drow ending up with a female Moon Elf starting a relationship and eventually getting pregnant(Unfortunately the site fell apart before it could develop even further, but it went on for over a year), a female golem who fell in love with a womanizer; gained a magical amulet that let her turn herself into a human at will and changed his ways, and a female elven prostitute who was trapped by her "employer" who fell in love with a female battle mage( That one was really great and my wife still talks about that one. One of her favorite of mine to read.)

 

[SadistPoet]

RP is being held back by generally being contained within a progressive safe space.

 

[Nue]

RP is being held back by generally being contained within a progressive safe space.

How so? I'm genuinely curious bc I've never really gotten that impression at all.

 

[SadistPoet]

How so? I'm genuinely curious bc I've never really gotten that impression at all.

I've done a lot of RP snooping and reading. Many RP pro LGBT things, but do not want any form of 'hate' in their RPs. I understand that the large LGBT audience within an RP community will want to RP things positive for them, but I have never seen (outside of my own RPs) homophobia, racism, and so on RP'd seriously. I feel having these themes present would empower the LGBT community more.