Futuristic Transsolar

[BookWyrm]

Vince smiled underneath his helmet before opening the door, only removing the helmet once Adira was inside his tent and the door was sealed. With a heavy sigh Vince sat down on his air mattress and flopped backwards. Slowly he raised his new arm, looking over the wrapped appendage with both awe and a slight bit of discomfort. After a moment he sat up and looked to Adira, concern evident across his face. "I'm a freak aren't I?" How could he express what he was feeling? Did he even know what all the emotions inside him were called? Fear was obvious, but other than that? "I....I could understand it if you left now and didn't give it another thought. I wouldn't hold it against you either. Why should someone stay with something that could kill them at any moment? Why would someone want to stay with something like....me?"

 

[Dragongal]

Adira took off her helmet and moved to sit on the bed next to Vince. There was a concerned look on her face as she gently took his hand in hers, and looked him dead in the eyes. "Vince, you're not something. You're still a person. More than that, you're probably the person I trust most. This little... incident, it's nothing. I still trust you as much as I ever did." Adira smiled a bit and squeezed his hand. She meant what she said. If anything, this revelation only made her more concerned for him, nothing else. Adira's voice grew even more gentle than it had been as she quietly said, "I honestly came to make sure that you weren't having any after-effects after your flashback earlier... I know how that can be." If his PTSD had been triggered in a certain way, he could still be nagged by images or memories he didn't want, false pains, etc. And that was something she didn't want him to have to deal with.

 

[BookWyrm]

Vince held Adira's hand tightly, almost as if he was scared to let it go. Maybe he was. Adira was almost like an anchor to reality for him, especially right now. "I didn't want to say anything around Chrice. God only knows what she would have done. But, when things got quiet my arm would hurt like it did when I lost it." Vince absentmindedly leaned against Adira, his head slowly resting on her shoulder. "I was back there, back fighting the Xyvir, but not just it. It was everything. Every operation, every battle I had while serving with the Outliners and SIAD. I can still see the faces of the people I've killed. It's incredible that I can still make the individuals out at times. Most of the time all of the faces tend to blur together like blood pooling in a drain, but there are times when I can make out each face. I remember the faces of the few team mates we lost. There might have been three, including SIAD and the Outliners, that we lost in my whole career.


"It almost seems strange, doesn't it? We killed more humans than we ever did Xyvir. To be honest I thought we'd have seen more of them out on the border worlds. No, mostly we ran into other people. I guess humans don't really have to have xenos to fight. But we were the good guys. They were the bad guys, those people that threatened the people back home on Earth. Yet, after killing the bad guys and going back home, those people we'd been fighting for spit on us and treat us like shit. They think we're broken because we can't adapt to normal society afterwards. But...you get used to living on the edge of death's blade. There is always that solidity, that foundation there. You get used to knowing you could die, but more so you get used to knowing who the bad guys are. You go back home where things are supposed to be familiar yet you feel like home has become the battlefield and the battlefield is home."

 

[Marianne]

Saundary looked up before her face broke out into a relieved beam. "S-Saami," she bubbled up and burst into a short laughter before she regained her composure with both bewilderment and fluster. She had forgotten that she had taken the barometer outside with her, most likely subconsciously. She had also lost track of time. "Good morning," she replied. For him to say it was the afternoon was funny, right?

Saundary looked off into the distance for a moment, pondering if she was correct. Most likely not. Sheepishly, she rubbed the back of her head as she had caught on that Saami would never get the time of day wrong. "Afternoon, is what I had meant," her voice trailing at the end of her correction. Feeling strangely awkward and talkative, seeing as she hadn't seen Saami in a while, she cleared her throat before nodding her head in response to his former statement. "Well, let's go inside then?" Gesturing to her tent she turned towards the entrance and opened the door after ensuring her safety was secured. Once it was she walked inside and brushed at her helmet before removing it with a long sigh; shaking her hair in the process - just to rid it of static. "Ah, okay. So, how have you been, Saami?" She tossed the question over her shoulder with an eager smile whilst her eyes were searching for the snowshoes with an eagerness to them.​

 

[Dragongal]

Adira paused, then puled Vince into a hug. "Black and white is easy, it's the grey that's hard. Some people will just never come to understand that. It's not their fault, though they should be more considerate. Some people, though, I wouldn't even say they're people anymore. Their minds becomes so damaged and warped by greed and hate...." So warped, in fact, that sometimes it's even merciful to put them down. Adira sighed. She had been lucky, having been young enough to still adapt easily and learn. Who would begrudge a child tutelage? But what of the soldier? Vince seemed so upset by everything.... "Don't worry... you don't have to worry about adapting to society anymore. I'm going to be with you, and you don't have to adapt for me."

 

[InsanEleven]

Saami followed Saundary to the tent... which he surprisingly noticed was his own too. Though he knew he had to share with a navigation member, he hadn't expected it to be her. Still, he should've known somehow, from sound or smell perhaps, usually he would have. Had he been too focussed on his other tasks, distracted by his bruises and the fight he had been through? Even if it was possible, he had a hard time admitting that. He was a machine, and machines didn't miss inputs like that. He either knew or didn't, and if he didn't know what he was supposed to know he was faulty. At this point in time it seemed he was more wrong than right though.


Once the decontamination process was over, he followed her inside. Removing his own helmet hurt a bit due to the bruises, but once it was off it was far more comfortable. In the safety of privacy he took a relieved sigh, not failing to notice the smell of Saundary's perfume this time around. At least his nose still worked. At her question he raised the corners of his mouth ever so slightly.


"Busy, Miss Saundary, as always." He said while watching her search for the snowshoes, in the wrong corner of the tent, that was. Letting out an amused sigh he took the liberty of taking them off of the shelf behind him, holding them in one hand, not saying anything else. Somehow he didn't quite want to go outside just yet, and he wasn't sure if it was because he wanted to take a break and not have to put his helmet back on, or if he wanted to enjoy her company just a bit more. Either one was a bad thing for him to do, and he felt slightly guilty about it, yet somehow being here made him feel lighter. Not having forgotten his dead eyes from before, he wondered if this wasn't simply his heart telling him he needed a chuckle.


Distracted he rubbed his hand over his bruised neck, feeling the slightly hardened texture as the nanobots in his blood conjoined to prevent accidental damage. Even if he was mostly flesh, blood and bones, very few things about him were natural. And he couldn't help but wonder if it was fair, not that he was a machine, but to subject Saundary to his own unnaturalness. As he ran his thoughts deeper along that line, he couldn't really find any positive outcome. The knowledge that only in complete isolation could he possibly enjoy her company without either of them finding repercussions quickly darkened his mood again, but he would not show for her sake.


"I procured the snowshoes Miss Etrasmus. If you desire so we can go." Not saying more he held out the snowshoes, hoping she wouldn't mind him acting robot. It was for her own good. He couldn't leave her, and he had promised to protect her. Then he'd simply have to protect her from the bad things about him. She had been kind to him, the least he could do was repay that by not letting her get hurt. Yet every which way he looked, it ended in him hurting her, one way or another.

 

[BookWyrm]

What was this feeling? Why was he so comfortable around Adira? Vince couldn't help but ask these questions, yet at the same time he realized just how much he craved the feelings he was beginning to ponder. It seemed like a nice promise; not having to worry about society or other people, yet was Adira going to become a crutch? Vince knew to some degree later in life he might need to become a little more acquainted with society, yet Adira almost seemed to be making him a promise, in more than one aspect. She was accepting him for who he was, no matter what SIAD had tried to do to him. "I love you, Adira. I don't understand what that completely means right now, but I know I love you."

 

[Dragongal]

Adira pulled back a bit so she could look him in the eyes searchingly. It was clear that he was telling the truth.... But did Adira even know what love meant? The basic concept seemed simple, but anything past that.... It was nothing she'd known, and she had no guide to tell her if that was what she felt. Deep down, she knew that saying no would hurt Vince, and just the merest thought of hurting him in any way hurt her. Was that what love was...? Caring for someone's welfare more than your own? Process of elimination said that was Adira felt had to be love, since she'd never felt anything like it, but there were other things... fear, apprehension, giddiness at times.... And had she not lied to Vince? A lie of omition was still a lie... but she couldn't stand the thought of hurting him. After another few moments, she pulled him close again. "I love you too. I guess we'll have to help each other figure out what that means. But I do love you."

 

[Marianne]

Saundary huffed and removed the gear protecting her hands as she ran a frustrated hand through her hair. "Busy, Miss Saundary, as always." Her heart felt larger beneath her chest as she bit down on her lip and squatted against her bed as her eyes roamed the tent. She spent a couple of minutes doing so before she stood back up and turned to look at Saami. "I procured the snowshoes Miss Estrasmus. If you desire so we can go."


The way he had sounded when addressing her caused her to pause. She took two slow steps forward before taking the snowshoes away from him. "Um," her voice trailed off; brows furrowing, Sandy pondered what to do. Once she was back inside, she hadn't thought about going back outside. The cold exhausted her; placing the snowshoes down, Sandy cupped Saami's hand and led him towards her small work area. "I wanted to talk to you about --" Clearing her throat, she let go of her boss' hand and attempted to be professional. It was her first time away from the ship, and she was on a moon! She wanted to be this way in order to ensure she can continue joining the team on such expenditures. Inhaling gently, Saundary's ruby gems looked into Saami's before they trailed down to his chin and spotted the visible bruises about his neck. She was trying to find something to say, to not be rude and stare for such a period of time. Cocking her head, she looked back up at him before stepped a tad bit too close in order to properly examine his neck. There's no way this belongs to . . . I mean, he couldn't have gotten hurt. He's Saami.




That's how stubborn Saundary's mind was. She was legitimately worried and she was hoping he wasn't in any pain. Frustrated between the thoughts of right and wrong, attempting to introduce a weather update, Saundary huffed and puffed out her cheeks. "Boss." She narrowed her eyes and looked up at Saami with a petite frown - mocking necessary formality as she addressed him. "What happened?" Her question was more of a demand rather than a question.
​

 

[InsanEleven]

As Saundary got closer to his neck he tried to avert his eyes and turn his head away without her noticing or stepping back, yet somehow her demanding gaze got him to blush. So much for hiding. It was only the slightest pink hue on his cheeks, but it was enough to increase his slight doubtfulness into full out discomfort. It wasn't even like he had a good reason to be like that. She was close, yes, but normally that shouldn't faze him at all. It wasn't because he was ashamed of the bruises, or because they hurt, so the only logical option left was that it was because of her. Why her?


"I..." His voice felt somewhat strained, and this time he wasn't quite sure if it was because of her, or because his throat wasn't in the greatest of shapes. "I got ambushed by a bug. The damage is minimal, it will be gone tomorrow." The nanobots in his blood would make sure of that. At least he healed as quick as he got hurt. When he let his eyes fell down they were still met with that intruding gaze, and he knew she demanded more than simply the standard. She'd always want more from him, he knew that much... and if it continued like this she'd always get her way. So, quietly he added; "I was climbing and couldn't see, so it got me before I could react. That's all..."

 

[BookWyrm]

Something about hearing those words, Adira responding to his profession of love with one of her own, set Vince at ease. "I think between the two of us we have enough assets to find the meaning of it." Was he...joking? Vince pulled away from Adira, his hand against her cheek, before pulling her close to kiss her. It felt like the natural response to everything that was happening, and despite the knowledge that they had kissed before this seemed more personal than the rest. If they had been different people in a different location the kiss might have taken them further, but neither one of them were ready for anything that intimate. For now Vince was content to simple love and be loved.

 

[Marianne]

Saundary's eyes remained transfix with curiosity and dire interest before they widened in order to display concern. He choked at the beginning before continuing. "I got ambushed by a bug. The damage is," but Saundary hadn't cared much about what he said from there. She cupped his neck and tilted his head upward in order to examine the wound on his neck. His skin felt cold beneath her fingers and she frowned, but it was only natural. Stepping back she looked up at Saami with her face void of emotion as her eyes held them tenderly. "I was climbing and couldn't see, so it got me before I could react. That's all," his voice trailed off and she bit down on her cheek.

Contemplating on her words, she sighed and sat down on the edge of her bed. "Saami should take better care of himself," she spoke. Her words were laced with childish scolding as she peered at him with her blood laced gems; they flickering gently beneath her lashes. She was serious despite her tone, and she felt as though the one that needed the utmost protection between the two of them was most likely him rather than herself. She wasn't vulnerable as much as he was. For now, that was where her thoughts were, yet she will be proven wrong.​

 

[InsanEleven]

Quietly he looked at her with a raise of his eyebrows, not having expected her reaction to be so... parental? He wasn't quite sure what it was she was doing, but it reminded him of the few scarce interactions he had witnessed between parent and child. Still, he'd barely been given time to be a teen, more or less forced to be an adult physically and mentally for all his waking moments. The only thing to him that had gotten close to this interaction would perhaps be a berating, and as he was good at his job, he'd only seen other soldiers get berated. Besides, it'd be silly to berate the machine. So this whole situation, the whole social context of the moment, was completely missing on him.


Instead of trying to find an emotional way of dealing with it, he'd do what he had always done; let reason and factual arguments deal with it. Yet he still felt a little knot in his chest, as he didn't quite understand that her berating was showing concern, not a demand for him to actually perform better.


"I am programmed with self preservation up to a certain degree. For the fulfilment of my purpose I can not deviate from that standard." That was true, he'd been taught that it'd only be worth saving himself if the gain from him being alive was bigger than the gain of him dying. Solely utilitarian in that, it meant that any human or conscience otherwise capable of happiness was above him in terms of preservation. In line with his programming, he'd have to die for any human unless him being alive could save more humans in the foreseeable future.


Still, his answer didn't quite satisfy himself, so with slight doubt he added: "If I were to take better care of myself, I couldn't take the place of a human. I am made to die." Was it okay to tell her that? He himself was quite okay with that being his purpose, as he'd been told his whole life that that was what he was supposed to be. A replacement so soldiers with a family needn't die. In a way, he was kind of glad that he could take that place; he was nameless, faceless, soulless, and if his addition to this world could save a man with all the things he didn't have, then that was only good, wasn't it?


Maybe that was why he couldn't ask questions, because if he did he could doubt his purpose. It wasn't the unfairness, the fear of death, or the pain of being alive that bothered him most. In the end it was the confusion of his existence. And then, how could he willingly draw someone as innocent as Saundary into this whole thing, without it making him at least a little bit worse? He couldn't find a more devious fate than to allow for her to love a man made to die. Of all the crimes he could commit that was the worst, because he would do it as a man not a machine.


Silently he swallowed his discomfort, not wanting to dwindle any longer on the matter. Instead his gaze turned cold and distant as he reached for his helmet. "I splattered the bug on the ceiling, Miss Saundary. I can take care of myself as much as is necessary." And of you.

 

[Dragongal]

Adira had returned the kiss in full, but when they pulled apart, she hesitated. Had she lied to him? Or was that the truth? How could she say she loved him when she didn't know what that was? He had seemed so relieved, though, she couldn't take it back. And how could she take it back if she didn't even know if she was wrong? But the very idea of lying to him hurt. Adira smiled a bit and looked at his right arm, trying to change the subject. "You need rest. You lost a lot of blood from that wound, and you've been having flashbacks, you deserve a rest."

 

[BookWyrm]

Vince watched Adira carefully, taking note of her pause. What was going on behind her eyes? "What's wrong?" Something was bothering her, it was far too obvious to not notice. Anyone who could recognize body language could have seen it. "Did I...come on too strong?" He couldn't recall doing anything that might have offended Adira. She returned the kiss, so obviously that hadn't bothered her. "Please hon, you can tell me anything."

 

[Dragongal]

Adira looked him in the eyes for a few seconds, then looked away. What was there to say? Was there anything to say? Maybe now was the time she should push away... before he could get hurt more. "I...." Before she could tell him the full truth of what she had omitted from her history, she caught herself. She smiled a bit to say, "I'm just concerned for you." No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't seem to push him away, and she couldn't tell him what she'd omitted either. And how could she tell him how she felt was a lie if she didn't even know that?

 

[Marianne]

Saundary rolled her eyes jokingly as she stretched her arms before her, rolling her head backwards and sighing. "Saami," she whined; Sandy was attempting to change the subject. Childishly, she settled with singing his name as she fell back onto her bed and tapped her fingers along its edge. "Saami, Saami, Saami," she tuned, "you nearly rhyme with," and then she paused.

What does Saami rhyme with?

Humming aloud, Sandy placed her index finger beneath her chin and thought carefully before angling her head to the side just to get a good luck at him. After a while of silly thinking, she finally realized what he nearly rhymed with. "Sandy!" Her outburst was paired with her practically hopping out of her bed as she pointed at him, almost accusingly, before she pointed at herself. "Saami! Sandy!" She gasped before she widened her eyes with a teasing smile dancing about her lips. Realization was dawned on her as the continued with the most ridiculously unprofessional topic of mankind. "Do you know what our pair name would be?"
​

 

[InsanEleven]

Saami quite literally froze in the middle of moving his helmet to his head, instead now hovering uselessly in mid air at around chest height. Slowly, knowing he hadn't misheard her question he turned his head towards her. Confusion spelled on his face, he couldn't help but let his head fall to the side like a puppy who had just been tricked and seen his ball disappear. "The navigation... department..." That obviously wasn't the correct answer, but what would it be in a situation like that. "Sandy doesn't rhyme with..." No... that wasn't going to help either. Whatever world this tent contained, it had no lawful structure. Only Saundary as the lawgiver. Judge. And executioner. So he decided not to also dig his own grave and just to try and survive this maze called social interaction.

 

[BookWyrm]

It was touching to have someone care for him. Vince smiled and kissed Adira's cheek, though somewhere he still wondered if she was telling the whole truth. Does it matter? "I guess I could be persuaded to rest. You are more than welcome to join me, if you want." Please don't leave. "But I also know it is midday and if you stick around for too long people might get suspicious. Perhaps you could come back tonight?" Damn those nosy bastards. It's non of their business what we do in our spare time.

 

[Dragongal]

DId I just lie to him again? I mean, I was concerned... but.... Adira thought over what he had said for a few seconds. She knew it would be best for him if she stayed, but he was right that they could get caught. SHe hated how secret they had to keep their relationship, but it was necessary. "I'll stay here until you fall asleep, then I'll come back later. Okay? I promise. I'll say I'm bringing you medicine then heading to my own tent early, nobody will know. Okay?"

 

[BookWyrm]

Vince nodded. "Understood." He let a sly smile creep across his face. "Hon." It couldn't be helped. He admired her in more ways than just being romantically invested. In honest truth she was a capable captain, though there was a lot more to her than the facade she put up for her crew. Vince figured he was just scraping the surface, though. But following orders meant getting some shut eye, so Vince laid out on his bed and got comfortable. "You are, of course, welcome to join me if you want."

 

[Dragongal]

Adira smiled and laid down next to him before cuddling close. Her main job right now was just to get him to sleep. After that, she could leave and figure out... everything. Once he fell asleep, she very carefully slipped away and went out into the cold alien air. As she moved she clenched and unclenched her hands, unsure what she could do with them. This confusion wasn't anything physical, it wasn't something to be hit or injured... what could she do? She trudged through the snow to her tent, where she promptly began filling out paperwork about how their earlier mission had gone. She couldn't keep her mind from wandering, though. Wandering to wondering what visions Vince had gone through, to her confusing feelings. Emotions had never been an issue before, so truly, Captain Rik had no clue what to do or what any of it meant. When she tried to focus, it just led her mind on a wild goosechase that had no conclusion, which made it that much more frustrating. Of course, she kept her impassive facade and did her work. The moment she was done, though, a few hours later, she left her tent to wander around camp for a bit, giving the alien sunset only a little appreciation before going to Vince's tent. AM I doing this to help him, or myself? Does it matter? I think it does... I ought to know exactly why I'm doing anything.... She barely removed her coat, helm, and boots, before she crawled into bed with Vince and snuggled up to him. That is for later thought, though.

 

[BookWyrm]

Vince jolted awake at Adira's touch, the look on his face one of mixed horror and rage. He pushed Adira over, placing his knees on either side of her, before raising his arm, the spike prepared as he thrust downwards. Yet, Vince stopped the spike mere inches over Adira's chest, the tip aiming straight for her heart. Vince's eyes shown with comprehension, almost like a fog drifted away, and almost instantly the color drained from his face. Slowly the spike retracted into his arm before he laid his head against Adira's chest. "I'm so sorry." Vince's body shook violently with each sob. He had been dreaming of a raid again, though this one was by far the worst. They had breached into a pirate fortress and during the clear Vince had stumbled into a torture chamber. Half dead and mutilated prisoners, among other things he would have rather forgotten. "Please Adira...I didn't mean it......I'm so fucking sorry."

 

[Unlimited]

Oblivious to everything going on JT sat in his assigned tent, staring at some plants and burnt bug pieces, unsure of what to do. He wasn't a botanist or biologist, so why should he have to look at these samples? Sighing gently he dropped a piece of one of the plants into a vial of blue liquid, it subsequently dissolved and the liquid turned green. JT wrote down the reaction and suddenly, a hypothesis formed. " With such aggressive insects it's a miracle there is any green left on this planet. Their diet couldn't be one hundred percent meat." He picked up one of the plants that had already started to wilt and sniffed it, a satisfied look on his face. " Chemical protection." He wrote some more into his black journal and pulled all of the oily looking leaves from the plant samples and ground them up, smashing them until he could extract a small amount of the oils. " With this I should be able to make more." He threw the vial into his centrifuge and pressed the green button to turn it on, setting it for a standard time. " With this the security teams will have some added protection again bugs on this planet, maybe even others if the potency is high enough. If nothing else we'll never have to worry about mosquitoes again."

 

[Dragongal]

Adira had frozen the instant Vince had moved. It all had happened so fast, what was she to do? He could have killed her.... When he laid his head against her, she realized she was lightly shaking from the shot of adrenaline his attack had given her. As her heartrate slowed, she wrapped her arms around Vince. "No, it's... it's not your fault. I should have known not to touch you when you were asleep, but I wasn't... I haven't been thinking straight. I was preoccupied. It's... it's okay." On top of that scare, she didn't know what he had dreamed about... but she guessed it had been pretty terrible. But was this proof that her confusion over her own emotions was making her incapable? At the moment, Vince was her top priority, though.