Other Toxic Parent

[NotinthisUniverse]

Welp, I'm going to rant.




I finally realized how toxic and abusive one of my parents is. It finally hit me this morning how much I've been putting up with this shit. For the past couple of years I've been verbally abused. It wasn't as promient as it is now, though it was a matter of time before it'd gotten out of hand. It doesn't help that I have ADHD, which impaires me significantly, (also not on being on medication makes it even more diffcult to function). Both of my parents know this yet us this aganist me. Constantly insulting my intellegence and my inability to complete tasks right away. It just gets annoying, simply because my brain doesn't work as quick and is different from theirs entirely. I don't know how many times I've been called retarted, stupidass/dumbass, mentally impaired since I "act" like a 2 year old, and much more. I just feel worthless most of the time, that I'm not good enough and not reaching such high expectations from my parents. I understand they want me to succeed, however trying to live vicariously through me. And just over all control my life and actions. It's just really tiring. But yeah, that's it. I'm just really done with this and ready to move on once I'm off to college. I can't take this anymore.

 

[_-StanleyUris-_]

{}_- Keep on fighting my dude, fortunuately, I can't relate, but still, If this continues you have every right to call the cops on your parents. Not a single soul deserves to be treated this way!

You're doing well, boo. Keep on fighting!_-

 

[NotinthisUniverse]

I mean I don't see the point in taking any legal action, considering I will be a legal adult in two months. I wouldn't even know to go about it anyhow. So, I'm just looking forward to college and overall freedom. I'll be cutting them off once I'm out the house and just try and get myself into therapy.

 

[NotinthisUniverse]

But thank you tho

 

[L0ck0n]

I can relate to this. It takes time to realize that you're being mentally abused since as a kid you expected your parents to know what's best. And, if they're making you feel lesser than what you really are then since they should know what's best then they must be right. But, in all of the cases, they're not.

They're only living in their shoes, and not stepping into your shoes. They're not considering how you feel, how you are, and what you would like to do in your life. A child isn't a piece of their parents, but their own growing human entirely. What I would do are exercises for myself. I would be aware of what m thinking, and when i was thinking something negative about myself like "Wow, I'm dumb" "I'm lazy" "I'm slow" I would quickly correct myself by saying smth like "No, I'm not dumb I'm just learning as I go" or "I'm not lazy I deserve some down time, treat myself" "I'm not slow, I'm taking care of myself by not stressing and taking my time"

I used to think it'd be ridiculous to do this, but down the line it helps in realizing how bad words affected me, and how I have what it takes within me to create a better image of myself despite no one else believing in me.

I'm not sure if this will help any, but don't ever forget that whoever you are right now is valid, and should be treated like that!

 

[NotinthisUniverse]

I've been trying to do those same exercises, though it gets hard at times. Having internalizied their words for so long it's had to break that negative self talk. Though, I'm trying.

Also glad to know I'm not the only one dealing with this. Thanks for commenting.