Things you would only say in an RPG

[gatherer818]

[QUOTE="Shining Lotus Sage]
<Malito> "If it screams it can be interrogated."

[/QUOTE]

 

[Alexandra]

A character of mine, convinced (correctly) that a party member had just faked their own death.


"No, He's not dead. I refuse to believe that. He's an impossibly powerful mind mage; so when people saw him fall to his death, do you really think that is what happened?"

 

[gatherer818]

"So, where were we? Right, you were standing over the bodies of your victims..."

 

[Misanthrope]

A Devil Tiger Martial Artist (Infernal Monster and Water Dragon Style) feels the Starmetal Royal Warstrider smashing up the city hunting for him. The Sidereals were coming for the party. Changing into the Infernal Hulk, he runs forward shouting 'Goodie goodie goodie goodie'

 

[Malozing]

In an old 3.5 D&D game with a troll of a friend as DM:


DM: So you hear the dwarves coming down the hall.


Player 1: Quick! Hide the emerald!


DM as NPC: I SMELL AN EMERALD!


Player 2: SHIT! Get it out my pants! Get it out!

 

[Malozing]

And in WoW on a rare spawn pull:


"OHSHITTHEBIRD!" was yelled in my guild's vent.

 

[Misanthrope]

GM posts in a pbp game: "Intended to post starting info today and kick off the game, but my old dnd group ended up getting together, so I don't know if I'll have it up today or not. Sorry"


Wise ass player replies "Depends if that skank is still in your gaming group."

 

[HumanPlus]

Okay this is not actually something said in-game but translated from a skype conversation me and my friend had today, trying and failing miserably to plan for our next session for our Scion game.


Friend: I'm still saying, i have a plan for the Charybdis thing.


Me: Hm?


Friend: We need a helicopter, the Don't Need the Manual knack, 50 meters of Bungee-rope and a really, really powerful chainsaw.


Friend: I got this.


Me: So the plan is to Bungee-jump from a chopper with a chainsaw in your hands to cut off a branch hanging over a maelstrom of death, teeth and tentacles?


Friend: Yeah, exactly.


Friend: Arthur will take the jump, it'll all work out.


Me: ...It's moronic, I love it.


Me: Wait, a chopper?


Me: That's an aircraft.


Me: If i'm in it, we'll be struck by lightning 28 times before we reach our destination.


Friend: ...Right...


Friend: I don't wanna get close to Charybdis on boat...


Friend: So i'll need a really big trampoline!


Me: Trampoline, really? In theory Helen could just sit back and wait like a good girl.


Me: OR try to take attention from Scylla so she doesn't foil you guys while you do your thing!


Friend: True...


Friend: That would probably be a good idea.


Me: First one today.


Friend: Then Kenji can fly the helicopter, and i bungee-jump with a chainsaw.


Friend: Masterplan!


Me: This is going to go horribly wrong and result in maiming and possibly death.


Friend: ...Like all our plans ever.


It's so beautiful, i had to share it.

 

[Silent Wayfarer]

"EAT YOUR VEGETABLES!"


*Night Caste with Str+Ath total of 100+ shoves a tree into the mouth of an undead sandworm to keep it from devouring people*

 

[Miz]

"I didn't think it was too bad of a fight. All you had to do was strangle a child." - A tiefling after a Gladiator match in D&D 3.5.

 

[Kumo]

I was in a panfandom rp and Dante from Devil may cry entered my thread and my girl was feeling depressed so he stabbed himself in the stomach and said "Dante on a stick anyone?" Made me laugh so freaking hard.

 

[Skari-dono]

"Unlock your mind" said one Scion character as he stabbed a Jotun in the eye with a giant key.