Things RpN Members are not allowed to do in tabletop games

[Action Replay]

Didn't see one of these, so I felt to make one and see what came up. From the feel of it, this place has been around for awhile and has potential for such things. *The purpose of this thread is for players to list some of the wackier shenanigans they or others have pulled off here in tabletop games. Doesn't have to be here specifically, just so long as you or someone you know did. List by system if you don't mind. I'll post some of mine here if the thread actually takes off instead of dying a slow death being shunned in the corner.


*Idea inspired by Mr Welch's list.

 

[The Dark Wizard]

@Lord of Chaos[/URL]' game playing Exalted 2.5.


I'm never allowed to make a Wizard in DnD/Pathfinder whose sole purpose is to take over the world, become a lich and kill everyone when they aren't looking. @Lord of Chaos.


I'm never allowed to use mindcontrol in a vampire game run by @Lord of Chaos on my team mates when they piss me off and make them strip and dance in the sunlight til they die.


I'll post way more things as I remember.

 

[DeusExAlice]

I am not allowed to take the Insectile template out of the Savage Species book


I luv that template ,__,

 

[solyrflair]

I am not allowed to play a Kender ever again. (Ad&d)


Most of the rest are derivatives of the above rule.


- I am never allowed to pick-pocket the cleric to figure out how their holy symbol works.


- I am never allowed to steal a cursed Githyanki vorpal sword to see how heavy it is and end up decapitating three party members.


- I am never allowed to pick the locks in the King's dungeon in my escape, and let everyone else out as a distraction.


- I am never allowed to draw maps of the party leader's harbor, even if just for 'personal use', just because the Royal Navy is anchored there.


- I am never allowed to tell people that the wizard sent the bad guys straight to Hell, even if that is where their souls end up.


- I am never allowed ask the rogue where he hides the bodies.


- I am never allowed to dig up said bodies to prove I guessed right.


- I am never allowed to tell the barbarian that any idiot can read and write, why can't he.


- I am never allowed to sing bawdy songs to keep crew morale up on the party leaders ship if it involves the party leader and his high priest wife.


- I am never allowed to tell the goblin king that a hoopak is a rhythm instrument and proving it by hitting him in the head in syncopation with lyrics.


- I am never allowed to wear all the party's royal medals because they find them austentatious. Without their permission or knowledge.


- I am never allowed to tell the high priestess that I think her boobs look nicer than the angel's I saw when I was dead. Especially with the party leader there, and the high priestess being his wife.


- I am never allowed to pay the high priest that raised me with party member's magic items.


- I am never allowed to put annotations in the wizard's spell books.


- I am never allowed to tear pages out of a wizards spell book to deliver a message that ultimately saves the party.


- I am never allowed to ask a God (or Goddess) during a commune spell, "How's the weather up there?"

 

[The Dark Wizard]

I am not allowed to play a Kender ever again. (Ad&d)
Most of the rest are derivatives of the above rule.


- I am never allowed to pick-pocket the cleric to figure out how their holy symbol works.


- I am never allowed to steal a cursed Githyanki vorpal sword to see how heavy it is and end up decapitating three party members.


- I am never allowed to pick the locks in the King's dungeon in my escape, and let everyone else out as a distraction.


- I am never allowed to draw maps of the party leader's harbor, even if just for 'personal use', just because the Royal Navy is anchored there.


- I am never allowed to tell people that the wizard sent the bad guys straight to Hell, even if that is where their souls end up.


- I am never allowed ask the rogue where he hides the bodies.


- I am never allowed to dig up said bodies to prove I guessed right.


- I am never allowed to tell the barbarian that any idiot can read and write, why can't he.


- I am never allowed to sing bawdy songs to keep crew morale up on the party leaders ship if it involves the party leader and his high priest wife.


- I am never allowed to tell the goblin king that a hoopak is a rhythm instrument and proving it by hitting him in the head in syncopation with lyrics.


- I am never allowed to wear all the party's royal medals because they find them austentatious. Without their permission or knowledge.


- I am never allowed to tell the high priestess that I think her boobs look nicer than the angel's I saw when I was dead. Especially with the party leader there, and the high priestess being his wife.


- I am never allowed to pay the high priest that raised me with party member's magic items.


- I am never allowed to put annotations in the wizard's spell books.


- I am never allowed to tear pages out of a wizards spell book to deliver a message that ultimately saves the party.


- I am never allowed to ask a God (or Goddess) during a commune spell, "How's the weather up there?"

Lol did you really do all of those things?

 

[solyrflair]

Yes. Except the one about digging up the bodies. That was a threat that forced the rogue to admit that was indeed where he hid the bodies. So I never did have to do the digging.


That said, the part leaders wife was a high priestess to love, sex, and consumption. So she found the songs I sang about her amusing.


The wizard was a real stick in the mud, and needed to lighten up. And in many ways, his reputation improved because of my stories.


The rogue was actually the good guy in the party. The bodies he buried were actually spies. And I wanted to prove to the king that 'not all thieves were bad.'


My Kender was eventually a bard. In ad&d you needed to get 5 fighter levels, then 6 thief levels before you get levels as bard. I made it to 5th fighter, 9th thief, and 8th bard before the players asked me to stop playing the character for the sake of their own sanity. Mapping out the port was the last straw. The rest of the party was 13-15th level, which was high in ad&d.

 

[Action Replay]

Shadowrun 4e:


Not allowed to sacrifice horrors to ascend to godhood.


Not allowed to make .gifs of the orbital strikes we avoided and put them on jackpoint.


Doesn't matter how much meat is left over. Can't go legit by opening a dragon burger diner.


Next time I decide to smoke deepweed on the plane, I will recall the Cairo incident.


No more throwing national airports into a complete panic, even if it isn't my fault.


There is more to wizardry than mass mind control even if it does solve every problem we face.


The murder spirit frowns on being used as a trap detector.


No trips to the werewolf zoo. This issue is closed.


The monofilament chainsaw is not my bigger lockpick.


When the GM suggests a polite approach to losing our police tail, he didn't mean a grenade launcher.


The party will limit itself to destroying the Bronx entirely only three times in a campaign.


No matter how effective it is, can't weaponize nun porn.


You only get away with taunting loffwyr once.


Despite being proven to increase party performance, not allowed to poison everyone before a run.


Shiawase's full title isn't Cyanide & Shiawase so we can stop trying to tag it on every company building we come across.


For that matter, they don't appreciate surgical annihilation of their subsidiaries.


Can't use megacorps to annihilate corps who poison us.


Next time the technomancer will remind the matrix group that his AI is Shiawase affiliated before we do a run against them. Not when it begins murdering us.


Exalted 2.5:


Not allowed to bring up the time we nearly TPK'd from lumberjacking in a pitched battle.


Nor the time we almost TPK'd in the invisible manse.


Can't applaud when infernal stupidity all but wipes out the Infernal splat.


If my E4 combat solar beats the E9 combat lunar, time to retire the character.


No more surfing high essence lunars a hundred feet to the ground.


If we keep blowing up cities we won't be invited into them anymore.


No longer allowed to taunt the boar into a game of chicken.


Can't shoot Balor in the eye just to say I did it.


I will remind the ST of my insane luck before he leaves it up to a chance roll. Again.


GLaDOS manse AI does not appreciate being flung into the well of oblivion.


While incredibly awesome, we can't turn a city manse into a super colossus warstrider to fight lunar kaijuu more than once.


No matter what manse we come across the ST will devise some way to destroy it or render it unuseable by the time we leave.


Can't ask demons who perform well for a resume.


His name is the Unconquered Sun, not Sunshine and I will address him as such.


If deathlords keep ruining our day with shadowlands, not allowed to make genesis cubes to ruin theirs in petty revenge.

 

[Purr]

@solyrflair I remember Kender and their hoopaks (still have the book and modules). Sounds like played one heck of a handler (since Kender don't have thieves). =)





@Action Replay I have never played Shadowrun 4th edition or Exalted (in any form) but you sound like a fun trouble-maker in both games! =)

 

[Action Replay]

Many of the examples were other PC's exploits that I felt worth mentioning. Else a party effort or some mean trick by the ST. Some of the wacky ones though....well I didn't list everything yet. Mostly because it's been awhile and has slipped my mind. That said I do admit I love to add a little bit of eyebrow raising hijinks now and then.

 

[solyrflair]

The one thing I will say is that the Kender was a party player. Yes, he worked outside the box, but it was always done to help someone in some way. And often the benefits were stronger than what they could have accomplished on their own.


For instance, the rogue was the good guy. He earned a position in court because of his anti-spy activity. While the rogue was quite angry that I put him in that position, it gave him more freedom and leeway than he would have had without. Of course, he also had to spend a month in royal court, which he didn't appreciate.


The wizard was trying to play the fine line between light and dark. My little comments and stories made it that when our lands were invaded, none ever went near his lands because they feared having their souls ripped out. Wizard wasn't happy about some of the stories, but it gave him some immense benefits.

 

[Grey]

As a perpetual GM, I don't have any personally, but here are things I've told players not to do.


- Corpses are not acceptable when trying to outsmart a Lust Demon.


- Neither is using a sword.


- Deals with Fae do not get to end well, no matter how many times the party surgeon trims your newly pointy ears


- Trebuchets are not the answer.


- Sexica the Battle Nun is not an acceptable character concept.


- There is no promised land of Dildopolis


- You created a mind for that lifeless puppet, it's your responsibility now.


Oh, one I did. In a Vampire: The Requiem game.


- No longer allowed to burn down the Coterie hacker's apartment. With Ordo heavies inside. While making puns about firewalls.

 

[Miz]

I will probably have a longer list of my personal antics. However for my players in D&D, they are no longer allowed to search for the mystery elemental demi-plane of ranch dressing known as "Hidden Valley".

 

[Purr]

Wacky shenanigans. I have a long history of RPing, so I feel I should share a few, in and out of game. =)


1. Out-of-game. Dungeons and Dragons. First edition. One of my players is playing the only cleric in the party, and he swears to me that he has done his cleric spell research. He knows what the spells do, he says. Right? The party enters combat. First thing he states is, "I'm gonna cast Slow Poison on the bad guy." I say, what? He repeats himself, this time emphasizing the spell. I ask why. He replies, "Well, it's slow poison, right? It's gonna slowly kill him!" I had to pause the game for a moment to tell him that all the spell did was delay a poison's effect on whomever you cast it on. To which he replied something like, "Well, that's a dumb spell!" This is also the same player who, upon learning that one in his party had suffered a burn wound, volunteered to cast Cure Light Wounds. Sounds reasonable, right? His reasoning? "Well, doesn't Cure Light Wounds only heal damage caused by light? You know. Like sunburns and fire?" Buddy, you didn't read the spell descriptions...


2. In-game. Rifts. On Rifts Earth (not long after Rifts Japan came out). In Chi-town (Chicago), the team is in a vicious shootout/melee with a vampire lord who is a party unto himself. I mean, he is bad and the party is in trouble. On top of this, the vampire lord gets a hold of the team's multiple-missile launcher. He aims it at the party's wounded Japanese Cyber-samurai and launches a mini-missile to finish him off. The player of the Cyber-samurai, who's character has his katana drawn, states, "I am going to parry the missile." Upon hearing that, everyone at the table stops what they are doing and looks at the player like he has lost his mind. "You're going to do what?" I ask. He nods and restates his action. Note the missiles the party has loaded in that thing detonate upon contact. The player's reasoning? His character possessed the skill to gently redirect the incoming missile with the tip of his sword, so that it would harmlessly fly past the party and explode without hurting anyone. Now, in my game, darned near anything is possible if the dice are with you. So, I say, "Fine. You can attempt a called shot. You must roll a natural 18 or higher." The missile is streaking at the Cyber-samurai when his player rolls a 19 on the die. =) Son of a gun! He did it! The vampire lord in my head... was totally stunned. Speechless. So... in the game, I told the players that the Cyber-samurai's incredible display of skill caused the vampire lord's jaw to drop and his action for that round was gone. They dog-piled on him. First thing they did? They ripped the clip of mini-missiles out of the darned launcher so he couldn't get a second shot. And they ended up turning the fight around and beating him. Ha ha! Amazing!


3. In-game. Werewolf the Apocalypse (played with additional were-creatures). North America. The young -pack is following their chosen alpha (NPC). This hardcore army sergeant of many years and a few gray hairs has a reputation for kicking tail wherever he goes. He is trying to train the pups how to fight monstrous spiders. During a very nasty melee, the sergeant decides to turn the tables by using the increased strength and leverage of his Crinos (werewolf) form to flip the big, bad spider onto its back, allowing an opening for the rest of the pack. The sergeant gets in there, grabs the extremely heavy spider, and lifts. I roll the dice (Str + Athletics; this is back when rolling more ones than successes counted as a fumble). I roll five ones and no successes. The running joke at the time among the players? A little phrase called, "M' back!" (Short for "My back!" What you say if you lift something you shouldn't, and possibly slip a disc or worse). The sergeant slips and falls badly, and yells, "M' back!" Everyone at the table is laughing hard at his horrible luck, but they are also holding back. He is lying there on the ground as the rest of the pack takes down the spider. Then they carefully surround the helpless sergeant and kind of watch him, smirking and not saying much of anything lest he suddenly rise and beat up the lot of them. The sergeant sees their muffled reactions and shouts, "Fucking laugh already! It's funny!" And that's when everyone at the table lost it. Good times! =)


That's enough for now. =)

 

[Alexandra]

As a perpetual GM, I don't have any personally, but here are things I've told players not to do.
- Corpses are not acceptable when trying to outsmart a Lust Demon.


- Neither is using a sword.


- Deals with Fae do not get to end well, no matter how many times the party surgeon trims your newly pointy ears


- Trebuchets are not the answer.


- Sexica the Battle Nun is not an acceptable character concept.


- There is no promised land of Dildopolis


- You created a mind for that lifeless puppet, it's your responsibility now.


Oh, one I did. In a Vampire: The Requiem game.


- No longer allowed to burn down the Coterie hacker's apartment. With Ordo heavies inside. While making puns about firewalls.

::snicker::


That's more of a "things Mike isn't allowed to do anymore" list.

 

[Unbridled Originality]

- Messing with Kaji's characters' business practices is severely discouraged.


- I am no longer allowed to use Generalized Ammunition Technique to assassinate members of House Cynis using arrows made of heroin


- Wise Choice is a privilege, not a right.


- My characters are no longer allowed to be fluent in five languages and "cussin' fluent" in ten others.


- The Winds of Adorjan are a tool, not a toy.


- I will not tender my resignation to the First and Forsaken Lion using a siege ballista.


- I am no longer allowed to use Husband Seducing Demon Dance in any location with "good" or better acoustics.


- Regardless of age and Humanity, "blood orgies" are strongly discouraged.


- "Kick every faction leader in the Realm Civil War in the teeth" is not a valid motivation.


- No matter how much it promises to raise your Essence without training times, do not let the creature from beyond space and time into your head.


- Whispers and Past Life are not a good reason to "hail Luna" on rolls you are not trained in.


- If you are trained in a school that emphasizes archery, from a family that emphasizes archery, DO NOT ENGAGE THE ENEMY SAMURAI WITH A SWORD.


- I will not use Predestined Delivery Shaping to send the other Endings Caste explosive packages. The same applies to bullets.


- "While out of bubble gum" is not a valid specialty.


- My Malkavians are no longer allowed to take the Fregoli Delusion.


- Should I ignore this rule, they are not allowed to be under the delusion that everyone is Cain in a succession of silly hats.

 

[Inquisitor]

I will probably have a longer list of my personal antics. However for my players in D&D, they are no longer allowed to search for the mystery elemental demi-plane of ranch dressing known as "Hidden Valley".

But all we want to do is meet the Vegetable people, Miz!


In that game, I'm the Paladin. Also the Big Dumb Stupid Fighter. It's a Forgotten Realms game.


I'm no longer allowed to charge into battle, thus dragging the entire rest of the party into a combat they weren't prepared for, without consulting the group first.


I'm no longer allowed to try to roll Hide and Move Silently and spend my time sneaking with the Rogue.


I'm no longer allowed to break into prison cities.

Along the lines of the above, I'm no longer allowed to murder someone in this prison city because they won't tell me what I need to know, and I'm trying to find out some crucial information


Tied in with the above, I'm no longer allowed to pretend to be a fighter hired by a Shar cleric to do her bidding.

I'm no longer allowed to kill a Banite soldier for the purpose of stealing the armor off his corpse.

As a corollary to the above, I'm no longer allowed to wear that armor and pretend to be a Banite general.


Tertiary to that, I'm no longer allowed to use this Banite disguise to break into a base containing sensitive documents detailing Bane's plans.


Finally in this line, I'm no longer allowed to say, "Uh... Uh..." and then murder everyone when they find out that we're not Banites at all, and in fact stole their documents.

I'm no longer allowed to Planeshift into my own soul.


If I think of any others (or if Miz does too) then I'll post them.

 

[Action Replay]

Dark Heresy, pre-emptively not allowed:


Yes we are on a mission from the god emperor. No, I can't decide what that mission actually is.


Can't blow all my starting points on gear and instruments.


Our acolyte cell's indentifying mark isn't matching vestments and sunglasses.


The other acolytes are not meeting me on Meridian's folly for a come back gig to save orphaned psykers.


Leading the local Guard on a continent wide chase is punishable by execution.


The senior acolyte does not appreciate our impromptu street performance outside the safe house.


Nor putting him on the spot at the end.


Every scene we act in is not automatically a musical.


The cultists won't fall for us being the entertainment for the evening.


Our solution to the problem better not be trying to get them all to kill each other while trying to kill us at the concert.


The stunted growth acolyte is not an improvised thrown weapon "in a pinch".


The priest of Mars does not automatically have an impenetrable Indian accent, nor is his official task "machine spirit support".


Even if I am the feral worlder, can't feign primitiveness whenever it's convenient. Or amusing.


Yes. Not having a soul does in fact mean I cannot be a soul man.


Despite what you may think, not having a soul does not give me an intimidate bonus against the psyker.


Not allowed to "accidentally" forget the psyker isn't also immune to the daemon weapon I just tossed him.


Wearing sunglasses at night does not give me a bonus to my control ground vehicle checks.


Her official title is a sister of battle, not a soul sister.


My tribe's trial by combat is not "Calvinball with jazz instruments"


Not having a soul likewise does not improve my politics skill or my standing with inquisitors.

 

[DeusExAlice]

[QUOTE="Action Replay]

Can't blow all my starting points on gear and instruments.

[/QUOTE]
Oooh! That reminded me of something we were disbarred from when making an Only War regiment.


We're not allowed to make our regimental kit 15 knives with repair cement to attach them to the front of our issued tank to make it more orky.


We are however allowed to make the kit consist of nothing but chronos as compensation.

 

[The Dark Wizard]

I am never allowed to make deals with Chain Devils and basically blue ball them by only giving away parts of my name at a time.


I'm not allowed to have ridiclously long names in order to make it really difficult and gain more things out of Devils and Demons.


I am not allowed to harbor the embodiment of Chaos all campaign only to eject him for a greater power, ruining a plot line over a year in the making.

 

[JayTee]

I am not allowed to scry and identity and location of the big bad using "six degrees of metaphysical separation" using his now dead minions as a starting point, no matter how high I roll. Nor am I allowed to call in an airstrike on his location, once I have done so.

 

[Ignitedstar]

I am no longer allowed to use "Excuse me, but I need to really use the bathroom right now" as a legitimate excuse to get out of dangerous situations.

 

[Unbridled Originality]

- The Ebon Dragon does not have a birthday, per se, and therefore does not get a "birthday wish."


- No releasing the ancient evil buried underneath a mountain and wrapped in miles of wards "just to see what happens"


- Murdering and impersonating a woman's husband for seven years of blissful marriage before revealing my true form and nature while she is in labor with our first child is not "appropriate retribution" for her giving me incorrect change. No, not even if I'm an Infernal.


- The Well of Udr is an incredibly powerful artifact, and should not be used to facilitate self-cest.


- The same goes for the Eye of Autochthon.


- Do not allow the Gangrel to engage in diplomacy with the prince on behalf of the coterie.


- Outside Worlds Within is not to be used to go to my "happy place" during long exposition.


- Taking Refined Tastes: Christians on my Roman-era vampire is strongly discouraged.


- I will not purchase and carry around twenty pounds of marbles "just in case." My strength score is irrelevant.


- I may not take a Presence specialty in "doubling down"


- I may not run a Nigerean Prince scam on the Scarlet Empress.


- I may not solve every problem by dropping a Solar death squad on it. There are some round holes that will not accept a square peg, no matter how much shoving I do.


- No more befriending creepy Deathknight Plot Trinket children.


- The party strategist should not take a specialty in "really bad plans that work anyways."


- "Crotch-punching" is not a language. At best it is a dialect.

 

[Action Replay]

[QUOTE="Unbridled Originality]-
- Murdering and impersonating a woman's husband for seven years of blissful marriage before revealing my true form and nature while she is in labor with our first child is not "appropriate retribution" for her giving me incorrect change. No, not even if I'm an Infernal.

[/QUOTE]
Although it /is/ a great seventh year marriage present though.

[QUOTE="Unbridled Originality]

- Taking Refined Tastes: Christians on my Roman-era vampire is strongly discouraged.

[/QUOTE]
Nor is starting a franchise, "I can't believe it's not Christians!"

 

[JayTee]

As a gun wielding holyman, I am not allowed to use my holy powers to bless the water in the plumbing in the building, then shoot/activate the sprinkler system in order to take out the vampire boss and his vampire flunkies in literally one shot.

 

[PirateLexi]

I am not allowed to play a Kender ever again.

I am most absolutely never allowed to play a Kender. Ever again.


Especially not when a tinker gnome is also in the party.


Let's just say a Kender leading an army of Clanks (Girl Genius) to attack an airship is a thing. And totally happened.


Also he was a spellthief.