Experiences The Worst Space Battle I've Ever RPed (Tactically Inept Rper Loses 5 SSDs)

[Malphaestus]

It is not a lot of point defense. While it may seem like a large number, you have to cover a ship that is 19 km long and fairly wide. And you then have to protect the lower side of the ship, which halves the amount of PDs able to protect the bridge. Couple that with ridiculously short range of SW weapons and massively vulnerable bridge position, and you will see my point.

I don't really, but yeah. I have no desire to continue.

 

[Windsock]

That was fucking hilarious.

Will you be giving us more?

 

[JadeGreen17]

That was fucking hilarious.

Will you be giving us more?

This is a different kind of funny, and a post I had saved in a text document. This was all my doing, when characters were touring a prototype sector command ship with more than a few computer glitches. I actually cut it down for the RP it was used in.

Goden: "Logistics, Status." Logistics Officer: "Eight hundred and nine thousand and thirty two support ships all accounted for. All subordinate flight command centers are reporting green status."

Comm Officer: "Aye. Intership comms seem to be working fine now. Queen Zarg's bunch must've ironed out the bugs in the redundant comm switchboards. Conversations between the engine room and armory will no longer be heard over the PA in all the bathrooms on deck 138."

Goden: "Good. Have their tweaks added to the design files of the finalized design. Weapons, how we looking?"

Weapons Officer: "The aft point defense on control grid 13 still aren't loading properly. The computers say every gun on that grid is experiencing a jam."

Tranquiltiy Shipmaster AI: "That is a systems bug in the display software. I cannot find the source. The displays on the reserve battle-bridge display the correct information, as well as me directly accessing the variables, all guns are functioning normally."

Goden: "Get a team of Cies to study the code. That could ruin our day if a fight starts. Internal operations?"

Robotics Control Officer: "Theres a bug with the ship's computer grid and the pathfinding of SpAMbots. About 300 of them are driving in circles around the maintenance quarters, trying to access storeroom 92-B, and they keep running out of battery doing so.

Goden: (Sighs) "They still haven't figured out what's causing that one? Please tell me the mess hall in block 31 isn't still only allowing squad leaders through the entry door in alphabetical order."

Robotics Control Officer: "It... it is..."

Goden: "Logistics, please tell me you aren't ALSO having some weird problem."

Logistics Officer: "Yes sir, we are having a problem."

Goden: "What is it?"

Logistics Officer: "Somebody input meters instead of centimeters when ordering replacement toilet handles from the ship's automated assembly bay, and nobody's figured out how to cancel the order."

Goden: "You mean to tell me all those delayed requisitions requests are because the automated assembly bay won't stop producing car-sized toilet handles?"

Logistics Officer: "Yes sir."