Realistic or Modern The HändęiMen

[mememutant]

So college is a tumultuous time. Lots of stress. Lots of free time. So really, is it so surprising that some foolish college students would accidentally summon demons out of the library's sketchy occult book? Is it really so surprising that is all goes horribly wrong?

(closed, being done with artistspuppet )

 

[artistspuppet]

Dominic's evening was interrupted by the telltale shave-and-a-haircut knock on his bedroom door that only ever indicated Abby wanted his attention.

"Dom, you're never going to guess what I found at the library sale," she gushed to the cracked paint on her side of the door. "Let me in!"

She was waiting with a large, dark, leather-bound book clutched to her chest with her arms crossed over the back cover to prevent her friend from picking out any of the finer details when he got around to opening the door. Her prize was best described not as a novel or even as a tome but as a grimoire. And she was grinning like a loon.

"Hurry up!"

 

[mememutant]

Dominic dragged a hand over his face, and mentally prepared himself for the ball of energy he was about to foolishly let into his room. He reached out for the doorknob, taking his sweet sweet time, and then slowly, torturously, opened the creaky, peeling wooden door.

"Hey Abby, I'm never going to guess what you found at the library sale. So, what is it?"

He looked down into her arms at the book that looked like something out of a Harry Potter movie. If the Harry Potter movies were shittily budgeted horror movies, that is.

"...dude, are you sure you found that at a library sale, and not like, at the local Satanist's garage sale?"

 

[artistspuppet]

As soon as Dominic opened the door wide enough for her to fit through, Abby slipped into the room and dramatically laid the book on his bed. The stained leather cover had some occult symbol etched into the center, emphasized with bright red ink, and the edges of the warped pages within were stained black. It was honestly the most stereotypical spooky cult book that could be imagined.

"You've been in the basement of the library, haven't you? There's some weird shit down there," Abby pointed out, then beckoned Domicic closer. "Check out this stain--is it water damage.... or BLOOD?" She cackled and then opened the cover and began to flip through the tome so Dominic could see the script and images inside. There were all kinds of apparently hand-drawn and -labeled pictures of all kinds of strange creatures, ranging from beings that resembled biblical angels to Gillette razors with wings. Each page was full of information, but it looked like many pages were wctually water damaged. The ink had spread and run and in some places the writing was illegible or parts of diagrams had been blotted out.

More seriously, she explained, "It's like--a demon book. Do you remember those -Ology book that were the shit when we were in middle school? Like Dragonology and Pirateology and whatever? It's like that but with less cute pullouts."

 

[mememutant]

Dominic grumbled and went to move the book off of his bed. He snapped it shut, picked it up, dusted off his comforter where the book had been, and shot his best friend a nasty look.

"How many times do I have to tell you, beds are supposed to be clean, free of blood and water and dirt? I sleep here Abby! You know how much of a neat freak I am!"

He then went over to his desk, which was covered in miscellaneous paint and ink stains, littered with crumpled up papers and notes, and textbooks left half open. Pens and pencils were scattered around the edges of the table, and when he slammed down the tome a bunch rolled off to meet their brethren that were already covering the floor around the desk. If someone took a look around the room, they would notice that the place was really a pigsty, with clothes thrown haphazardly into piles and onto bookshelves, books left on top of whatever surface Dominic found most convenient at the time, and used plates and cups piled precariously on top of one another on his dresser. The only passably "neat" thing in the room was his bed.

Dominic huffed and opened the book once more, then got a better look at the images and writing. He gasped, then whispered "This is...this...is...unreadable. Too bad." He looked over to Abby. "So what were you hoping to do with this unreadable demon book?"

 

[artistspuppet]

"I think you're the only one who thinks you're a neat freak," she huffed, dutifully moving from next to the bed to one side of his desk. She watched him flip through the book, waiting to see what he thought.

Admittedly, his response was a little disappointing, and she deflated a bit. "What--Unreadable? The VAST majority of that book is completely legible! And it's got all kinds of cool info and pictures in it." She folded her arms defensively. "I thought you'd think it was interesting, at the very least. Plus..." she added, the grin creeping back onto her face, "The part on summoning things seems to be mostly fine."

In case her point didn't come across, she wiggled her eyebrows at him for good measure.

 

[mememutant]

"Alright but Abby, this stuff is nonsense." He gestured to the page with a flying razor, to prove his point. "Sure, I can physically read the part where it says that these 'demons fly across the dark skies of hell, waiting to cut open their latest victim, but with the proper wards they are able to shave a person's beard to the most minute detail'...but even after physically reading it, I have NO idea what that means."

At her mention of summonings, he wordlessly flipped through the book until he came across a mostly legible page. "Well...I'd be lying if I said I wasn't interested." The page he was on read Händęi. The text was perfectly readable, but the image of the demon was so badly altered it looked mostly like dark, cosmic spider, or a growth of vines, or some tentacle creature. It was hard to tell for sure.

 

[artistspuppet]

"It clearly means that if you capture one, you'll never have to shave again," she explained matter-of-factly. "Duh. I thought your major was like, reading."

Abby leaned in to look at the page he was on. "See? Like that thing." She gestured at the picture. "PERFECTLY legible and also probably not real so there's no real cons here. If it works, we get a sweet demon minion. If not, we got a rejuvenating study break and a story to tell. We just need... What's it say? At the bottom, before the instructions." She reached out and took hold of the first half of the book so she could get a better look. "Candles... herbs or whatever... incense... two drops of blood, ok, and--does that say--is it asking for a Twinkie? See? What kind of demon wants a Twinkie?"

 

[mememutant]

He looked around the room, and there was a half eaten twinkie sticking out of a DVD case on top of his bookshelf. "A convenient one!" He hopped up and grabbed it, managing to leave the DVD in place. "Alright, I'm down for a minion demon. But what will it be able to do? Help me pass my finals? Eat my Film Studies professor?"

He squinted at the fine print. "It says something about...'lending extra assistance'? So is it like, a general helper demon or what?"

 

[artistspuppet]

"Dominic, that's DISGUSTING," Abby told him, releasing the book so he could retrieve his snack. "How did that even--you know what? I don't even want to know. You're lucky those things are so processed that they don't mold."

She shrugged in response to his question. "I dunno, I just bought the book. But if it helps with finals, sign ME up. Orgo is really kicking my ass. Does it say anything else?"

 

[mememutant]

"I think that's it. There's a sort of diagram of how we have to align our hands... we each take our dominant hand, make like, a peace sign with the thumbs out, then press the backs of our hands to each other."

He fumbles around for a pencil and a moderately clean piece of paper. He struggles for a moment but copies the sigil from the corner of the book's page.

"Then we light some candles, light some incense, toss our blood and herbs in there and this demon's our uncle. Figuratively."

 

[artistspuppet]

"Good thing I'm a lefty," Abby commented, scanning the page to confirm what he said and then nodding. "And good thing we have two people! Do you want me to grab chalk so we can, like, do this on the floor? I feel like summoning a demon from a piece of paper is blasphemous." She punctuated her sentence with a laugh at her own irony.

"I've got some tea lights, which should be good enough candles, and I think my roommate's got some insense. And I'll grab my sharp knife so I don't get, like, tetanus from using anything from in here. Only thing I'm not sure about is the herbs."

 

[mememutant]

"Well seeing how I'm the only one who seems to use our kitchen, I know exactly where to get these herbs. We have thyme, rosemary, and parsley in cupboard downstairs."

He lifted his hand for a high five. "Alright, we're really doing this! Don't leave me hanging!"

 

[artistspuppet]

Abby blinked at him and started to turn away like she was going to dismiss his high five, but she quickly spun around with a huge grin and hit his palm. "How could this possibly go wrong?" she laughed. "I'll be back in here after I harass Anna for some incense and whatever."

Then she bounced out the door and down the hall to collect what she'd promised: chalk, tea lights, a stick of incense, and her trusty pocket knife. She also grabbed her trusty Bic lighter and was back in a flash. How exciting! A demon servant! Abby was already relishing in the idea of never having to do dishes again.

 

[mememutant]

Dominic tried to sweep up his room a bit in anticipation of Abby's return. They were going to need some room for this whole thing, after all. He cleared a space for the sigil, and in the meantime skimmed a bit of Händęi's pages. He made sure to study the hand position necessary for the ritual, and when he felt ready, he motioned over to Abby.

"Alright, pass me the chalk, set up the ingredients, and we'll have ourselves a demon butler. Maybe it'll even come with a little outfit!"

 

[artistspuppet]

She happily obliged, handing her friend the chalk and her knife and setting to work arranging her tea lights in a circle around the room. She stopped every few candles to check the grimoire and confirm she was arranging them correctly.

"We'd know if the picture wasn't so blotted out," she complained while she retraced her steps around the room and carefully lit each tea light.

 

[mememutant]

"I'm hoping it has a little outfit. Do you think it'll be a french-maid kind of deal, or...?"

He draws out the sigil, bigger this time, along his stained and greasy bedroom floor. He was bent over at the waist, butt in the air as he walks background in a circle to complete the image. As his finishes it up, he backs into Abby lighting the tea light. He jerks up immediately, and turns on his heel to face her and apologize profusely. As he does that, he accidentally wipes away some chalk, grumbles, bends over to recomplete the sigil. Breaks the chalk, then just gives up and kneels on the floor.

 

[artistspuppet]

"To be totally honest, I'd rather have a mini Alfred or something, you know? I really hope it isn't a tiny demon in a frilly dress."

Abby shrugged at his apology and then stopped to watch him with a grin. "Can't even draw a circle," she teased, gingerly setting a lit candle on top of a stack of books and laundry (which was impressive in itself). "Do you need help, or...?"

She stepped over his chalk lines and wedged the strawberry-vanilla incense stick in a chink in the floorboards near the center of the sigil.

 

[mememutant]

He sighed in defeat, got up, then held out his hand, already set up in formation.
"Don't mind me, I just suck. Let's get this show on the road." He takes the knife and makes a small nick on the back of his forearm, where it stings slightly but isn't very painful. The blood drops onto the ground, and he waits for Abby.

 

[artistspuppet]

"Do we... Both have to do that?" she asks with a frown, then bends over to light the incense and tucks her lighter away.

 

[mememutant]

"If we don't, I think the demon will only be bonded to one of us." He goes to wipe the knife off on his jeans, only to see that there isn't any blood on the knife. He does a sort of mental shrug, then passes the knife to her, and gestures to the sigil. "So if you wanna do this, go ahead."

 

[artistspuppet]

Abby nods silently, takes the knife from him, and--after taking a moment to hesitate--slices a cut that matches Dominic's on her arm and lets a few drops spatter on the floorboards. "Jesus, a blood sacrifice. This is serious."

Next, she copies the position of her friend's hand, and then reaches out and touches the back of her hand to the back of his. Dom had kind of taken the reigns on this one, so she decides to hold her witty comments back and let him continue to direct the summoning.

 

[mememutant]

"HÄNDĘI!" He hollered into the room, his deep raspy voice reverbating through the still air. He scrunched up his nose and squinted at the blurred text of the summoning book.
"Creature of the night,

we come hand in hand to fight

as your right hand men


These items you need

We handed off and now bleed

your old cage, broken


Come to us, demon

Hands down, you have surely won

Settle here in my den."

Dominic waited, and felt nothing. Then suddenly, his hand began to burn.

 

[artistspuppet]

Abby held her position carefully while Dominic recited the chant. Only a moment after he finished, his words still hanging heavy in the air, Abby let out a short laugh.

"I guess it was bullshit after a--Ow!" She instinctively tried to jerk her hand when she felt the burning begin, and quickly turned her attention from her friend's face to their hands. What the Hell--?

 

[mememutant]

Dominic bit back a yell while it felt like the back of his hand was being burned through. He tried to recoil, but found that instead he just dragged Abby with him. How--?

Mhm. Yes. Excellent. Splendid. Marve--OWWWW!

A little voice, one he wasn't sure was real, shrilly flashed through his mind.

EXCUSE ME. You bring me here, this is how you treat me? Let me get a good--wait. Where are you? Hello?
Minions?

The burning was fading, but every other syllable of the shrill little voice sent a piercing pain through Dominic's mind. He looked over at Abby, trying to see if she was the one talking, but of course she wasn't.

He looked down at their hands, and distantly registered he couldn't feel his hand burning because he couldn't fele his hand.

I swear, once I get a good hold on this vessel I will devour whoever DARED to bring me here and then ignore me, HANDY!

When the voice screamed "Handy", Damien and Abby's thumbs twitched in sync. He didn't feel it.

Oh no. That's the demon.