[The City that Never Wakes] Wageslave

"I was just wondering," Ash says, sitting down in a chair facing him in the lounge, "whether I'd missed a cultural cue. Where I come from, sniffing around for hidden nodes isn't really considered polite or impolite, but active traffic profiling is considered an unfriendly act, and cryptanalytic attacks are called 'attacks' for a reason." She crosses her legs, leaning back in the chair. "But it struck me that it might be different here. In the arcology, jimmying someone's door locks isn't considered an invasion of their home so much as a sign that one cares enough about them to go check on their well-being. I realized that hiding and encrypting your Matrix nodes is a lot like closing and locking your doors, so I thought maybe the expectation carried over."
 
Glen considers that for a moment, his expression as obtuse as usual. He doesn't show emotion much, except in the extremes of frustration, and Ash has only seen that once or twice. "I suppose," he finally says. "It would never occur to me to even think of it that way. A lock is like a sign on the door that says 'Please do not open.' How rude it is to crack the lock is proportional to who put the sign there, why, and what your relationship with this person is."
 
"I see. So, and apologies if this is too forward, but what would you say our relationship is?" Ash makes an expansive gesture, as if to include the whole of the dorm and the sleeping figures within.
 
Glen pauses at that, lowering the sheet of E-paper he was reading from. He considers the matter for a moment. "I would say you and I are acquaintances," he finally says, with perhaps a certain delicacy.
 
"I may be asking stupid questions now, but what is the cultural context for that term among Neonates? I ask because I've been burned before by assuming that Neonates and sprawlers speak from the same lexicon, even if all the words are pronounced the same."
 
"It means," he replies, still with that delicate tone, "that we have spoken on at least one occasion, and I do not have any particular reason to dislike you."
 
He fiddles with the e-paper for a moment, though it seems more like an idle motion than that he's actually selecting anything. "If I am being honest, you are not the sort of person I normally associate with. But my subjective assessments are no reasonable basis to treat you any differently." He lifts the paper for a moment, but only to glance at it. "The others may feel otherwise, of course."
 
Ash raises an eyebrow. "A very reasonable perspective." She ponders for a moment. "What's your read on that? I'm not asking you to betray anyone's confidence, but I'd like an outside perspective. From someone who's neither trying to spare my feelings nor get a rise out of me."
 
"I'm not sure it's my place to comment," he says. And having thus said so, proceeds to comment at length. "I do think that Mark is fond of you, shall we say. Though the topic often frustrates him. Laura has also seemed to take a bit of an interest in you, though she doesn't say much. The others though... well." He pauses. "One does not end up in this position without either great ambition, or a great belief in NeoNET's mission. Your disinterest and cynicism slight both point of view."
 
Ash frowns. "Ambition I understand, but... You're the second person to allude to NeoNET's mission. It's a megacorp. Most people would hold that a megacorp's mission is to make money."
 
"Renraku's certainly is," Glen replies. "But surely you did not come this far into the recruitment process without at least speaking with someone who believes in the reason we're all here?"
 
"Speaking to someone who believes in the mission is not the same thing as having the mission persuasively argued. And my recruiters may have had other things on their minds."
 
GM (GM): Glen pauses, and then nods.


"Are you a religious woman?"


Ash: "People use that word in a lot of different ways."


"At Renraku, my usual answer to that question was 'not on the clock.'"


Glen nods gently. "In this case, I was thinking of a specific passage from the Bible."


Glen: "'Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it; and hold dominion over the fish in the sea and the birds of the sky and all things that move on this earth.'"


Ash: "I know the phrase, but as quotable lines go I never found it particularly inspiring."


Glen: "Were you looking for an explanation or a charismatic sales pitch?"


Ash: Ash smiles. "An explanation."


"I have become somewhat cynical about charismatic sales pitches over the years."


Glen gives a small nod. "While the company's official position on religion is pantheist, the quote is often used to illustrate it's more practical view. The earth, in the view of most Neonates, is the dominion of humanity, and all lesser creatures of this world exist to serve mankind."


Ash nods


Glen: "In the 5th age, mankind's technological power and social advancement waxed, and had it continued, there would have been nothing beyond our means or will. Our destiny -- to create a world without suffering -- was nearly manifest."


"But then magic came, and shattered the world, and humanity forgot itself, and sunk back into barbarism."


Ash: "A persuasive argument," Ash says voice and expression neutral. "I could find a lot of factual points to challenge it, but I can see how it could work as a statement of ideology."


Glen: "I have been polite but honest with you. I will not be offended if you are polite but honest in return."


Ash: Ash nods. "Then I'll endeavor to be so. The thing that strikes a dissonant note with me is that the Fifth World had the technological capability to create a world without suffering. We - and by 'we' I mean industrial civilization - proved that when we wiped out smallpox without even trying very hard."


"The Fifth World actively decided to not do so."


Glen: "Improvement is usually gradual rather than transformative."


"By any measure, the average standard of living on earth improved continually throughout mankind's undisputed rule over the planet."


"We cannot make the same claim."


Glen points out, evenly.


Ash: "That is true, but UGE was when? Fifty years ago? If you go to a fifty year time scale, I could point to a lot of points in the history of the Fifth World where humanity was not unambiguously striding forward."


Glen: "You could."


Glen answers.


Glen: "Natural disasters. Wars. Famines. Plagues and the like."


"But do you really believe that the constant threat of magical intrusion is why the barrens are as terrible as they are?"


"Or that evil spirits are to blame for what's become of this city's industrial centers?"


Ash raises an eyebrow.


Ash: "Obviously not. Those are rounding errors in the greater scheme of things."


Glen: "My point."


Glen replies.


Ash: "The barrens are barren because the political system and centralized governance structures required to reclaim them no longer exist."


"At the height of the American empire, the barrens would have either been cleaned out and sanitized, or perhaps declared a nature preserve."


"But empires sometimes collapse. So this time the collapse coincided with UGE. The Romans collapsed from plague and famine and political fratricide. The Mongols collapsed from plague. The European empires from war. The Russian empire from inability to sustain an independent trade bloc against the much larger American empire."


Ash shrugs


Ash: "I don't see why the one imperial collapse should be so very different from the others. I mean, apart from the fact that we happen to live in one of the successor states of the empire principally involved."


Glen gives Ash a careful look.


Glen: "I'm not in a mood to debate political history, but my answer would be how much of the midwest is now ruled by magical creatures. Or how much of Germany is a desolate nuclear wasteland."


"History may have patterns, but it does change. The next war, or the next great step forward, is not simply the one before it with new names and aesthetics."


"Humanity does change."


"We change our world and ourselves, through culture once, and now through technology. We change our world through our actions. I'm sure you of all people appreciate the concept of a global nuclear war. The earth can no longer survive an intense bout of barbaric stupidity. The consquences for our mistakes have gotten more extreme."


"But, so have the benefits of getting it right. We can enable the mentally damaged, restore broken bodies, end toil and suffering. I do not know when it will come, but one day, a non-destructive form of Hot Sim will be found, and I do not doubt that many will choose to forsake the material world all together."


"We are playing a game for progressively higher and higher stakes. In the end, we must win it all or lose it all. There can be no other outcome."


Glen: "NeoNET is the incarnation of humanity's desire to... see the good ending of this particular story."


"Or at least," he adds. "We try to be."


Ash nods


Ash: "A persuasive mission statement."


Ash leans back in her chair and frowns.


Ash: "Difficult to reconcile with the practical realities of running a megacorp, though."


Glen: "I don't see it that way."


"Complicated, yes. NeoNET must remain in business in order to accomplish it's mission, which does put a limit on its generosity."


"But, look at the city."


Glen gestures to a wall, though really, he could gesture in any direction and hit Seattle.


Glen: "Free matrix access everywhere. Sim is abundant. Our arcology is a model for a stable and productive civilization."


"And our corporate goal of technological advancement can only serve our greater objectives."


Ash makes a non-committal noise.


Ash: "In the interest of playing devil's advocate, which I think is a healthy exercise to go through every once in a while..."


"... I could make a very similar sales pitch for Aztechnology."


Glen: "Do you really think Aztechnology makes its citizens better, Ash?"


"Or to use a less one sided example, Horizon?"


"Better is not proportional to how much high-tech crap is stacked up in your closet."


"..."


Glen starts to say something, and then pauses.


Glen: "...Ash."


"You do know why Virginia has her scars, right?"


Ash: "Surgical scars from extensive headware implantation. I gather that some of them are from attempts to repair assorted surgical cockups as well. But I understand that it's something of a sore topic, and Virginia has not been forthcoming with details on her own initiative."


Glen: "What do you think if her performance so far?"


"She is relatively uneducated, but hard working, and very bright. Would you say?"


Ash: "That seems like a fair summary."


Glen: "Would you hazard a guess at her IQ?"


"I know, I know, it's not a useful test really."


"But take your best guess."


Ash: "Somewhere in the top quartile. If you want three sig figs, I'm going to go with 150. But the tests can't give you three sig figs, and the people who claim they can are selling you mock precision."


Glen nods.


Glen: "85."


Ash raises her eyebrows


Glen: "As of six months ago, anyway."


Ash: "Ah."


"Yes, that makes sense."


Glen: "Is that all you have to say?"


Glen frowns.


Ash: "On the subject of Virginia, or on the subject of performance-enhancing surgery?"


Glen: "It's not 'performance enhancing,' Ash."


"It's helped her become an entirely new person."


"A year ago, she'd have struggled to follow this conversation. Today, she's as clever as you are, and I don't doubt she'll be your equal, given time."


"NeoNET helped her in a way no pile of toys, no matter how shiny, ever could."


Ash nods.


Ash: "I can see that perspective, but I'll have to bow out of the concrete line of conversation. I feel out of bounds discussing Virginia's history - medical or otherwise - in her absence."


Glen: "Then perhaps you should talk to her."


"I got her permission before I said anything."


Glen says, sitting up slightly.


Glen: "Maybe you'd like to continue this."


Ash nods.


Ash: "I would."


Glen glances up at the ceiling, briefly.


Glen: "Well, I'll give you girls some privacy then."


GM (GM): He rolls out of his chair and to his feet, retreating to his room.


Virgnia is not so quick out of hers, and when the door does open, she lingers in the doorway a moment.


Virginia: "...hi."


Virginia finally says, her hands twisting in front of her.


Ash gives a little half-smile at Glen's mention of 'privacy,' as if he had shared some private joke. But when Virginia opens her door Ash rises to her feet with a friendly wave.


Ash: "Hi."


Virginia: "Sorry if this is, like..."


"Super awkward."


"Heh."


Virginia gradually finds a chair, sitting on its edge.


Virginia: "Nora thought this would be good for both of us."


"You know. Talking stuff out."


Ash nods.


Ash: "Nora and I don't always see eye to eye, but being right as often as she is covereth a multitude of sins."


Virginia: "Heh."


"Yeah she feels the same way about you."


Ash chuckles.


Virginia: "...I guess I'm a little surprised."


"Most people make a bigger deal out of this."


Ash: "Well... I'd kind of guessed that the story was something like this. The mismatch between your Matrix face and your displayed competence was too jarring."


Virginia nods, and looks a the floor.


Ash: "Hey. Virginia. My eyes are up here."


Virginia looks up sharply.


Ash is smiling, head slightly askew.


Ash: "That was a joke. Sorry."


Virginia: "Oh. Right."


"Well."


Virginia takes a breath.


Virginia: "Well, I don't know. I guess I feel like it is a big deal."


Ash suddenly looks serious.


Ash: "I can imagine. Or, actually, I can't."


Virginia: "No." Virginia says. "You can't."


"It doesn't... feel like anything. It's not like I sprung up out the hospital bed and went, 'There is no Virgnia, there is only Zuul.'"


"It's just..."


"I mean, were mystery movies /always/ that obvious?"


Virginia lets out a half-laugh.


Ash: "Sadly, yes."


Virginia: "I know. Which sucks because I loved those."


"Nora's been trying to get me into some better ones, but I don't have much time these days."


Ash nods.


Ash: "Nora has good taste in movies. Or at least a taste in movies I find agreeable."


Virginia: "That's because she only shows you the ones she thinks you'll like."


Virginia smiles slightly, and looks back down at the ground.


Virginia: "I'd be lying if I said it was fun."


"I actually feel pretty crappy a lot of the time."


"I mean... I have enough money to afford lionization indefinitely. And the technology is improving."


"I could very easily live forever, with a bit of luck."


"How fucked up is that?"


"Of course it was fucked up before, only now I realize how fucked up it is."


Ash shrugs.


Ash: "I'm not confident Leonization will extend lifespans *forever.*"


"But I certainly plan to see the 23rd century."


Virginia: "It doesn't need too."


"It just needs to get 20 years better every 20 years. Right?"


"...but that's not the point."


Virginia shuts her eyes and sits back.


Ash leans forward, extending a hand but letting it hover just outside Virginia's personal space.


Virginia cracks an eye, and then reaches out to take Ash's hand.


Virginia: "It's like a drug, I suppose. In that it doesn't make me happy but I have to have it."


"The thought of... losing, what the implants have given me. Of going back to seeing the world the way I did."


"It's..."


Virginia sets her jaw in a grimace.


Virginia: "God, it's horrible."


Ash nods.


Ash: "I normally don't believe in telling people that things will get better with time. But I'm pretty sure this will."


Virginia: "...I know."


"Everyone here has been great, you know?"


Virginia sniffs.


Virginia: "I had friends before, but it's been... hard. Not for all of them. But some of them."


"And having new people around to help me sort it all out..."


"I know. I know it will."


Virginia sniffs again, rubbing at her eyes.


Ash nods.


Ash: "I don't know what to say. I guess it must be like going to bed one night as a pre-teen and wake up as a grown woman."


"It's not like I think I had a bad childhood, for the most part."


"But I wouldn't want to go back to being a child."


Virginia: "Child is a good term for it."


Ash: "It's not, really. It's demeaning. But I'm running up against the limits of my vocabulary here."


Virginia: "Well, I don't feel demeaned."


"It's like how you'll open up to a stranger in ways you wouldn't to a loved one."


"...I don't know. If I'm being honest, Ash, I don't feel like I know you very well."


Ash shakes her head.


Ash: "You don't, and I'm not sure why everyone finds that unexpected."


"We met all of ten days ago."


Virginia: "Yeah, and in those ten days, we've spent nearly 180 hours together. Assuming normal friends hang out a few hours a week, that's like knowing eachother half a year."


Ash nods.


Ash: "Well, some things take time. Also, most of those hours have been on the clock."


"Would you say that you know coworkers really well after having spent half a year on the clock with them?"


"I wouldn't."


Virginia: "I don't know. I've never worked before."


"But I feel like I know Mark really well. And Nora. And Lisa. And even Brett."


Virginia starts rattling points off on her fingers.


Virginia: "Mark is a super nice guy, really smart, has a lot of initiative, and good people skills. He's a natural leader, which is good, because he's a little too in-love with being in charge—yes Mark I know you can hear me. That means physically in charge as well, which is why he likes brawling and also why he's super awkward when you have nightmares and go... you know. Comfort seeking. Because he totally wants to do things he can't do."


"Nora's... hurt. She's probably the brightest person here by a mile on her good days, but she also has a lot of mental problems, and it frustrates her easily when those problems stop her from... well. Doing things. It makes her feel like an idiot, and she's got more than bit of an inferiority complex. It's also why she likes Sim so much. Because the downsides don't matter so much there. She says it makes her feel really free."


Ash blushes at Virginia's candid discussion of Mark, which is an unusual expression for her.


Virginia: "Lisa... well. She gets really into everything she does. Her writing, caring for her family, work. She doesn't have any speeds except stop and the turbo. And that's not the hot-sim talking. She was like that before, hot-sim just gave her more hours in the day to do things in."


"She's also, like, really abrasive ,but she means well."


"And Brett is an asshole. Like, no heart of gold under there. Jerk with a heart of jerk."


"And Ash..."


Virginia extends her hands to Ash.


Virginia: "Is really cynical! And doesn't like her job."


"And is really here for the money and..."


"That's all I got."


Ash smiles and shakes her head, the blushing having died down somewhat.


Ash: "That's a culture thing. And I don't mean NeoNET versus Renraku culture."


"All the others, they're from operations, or sales, or management."


"I'm from security. When a security specialist goes on the clock, then she is one hundred per cent on the clock."


"A good security expert steps out of her preconceptions, her interpersonal issues, her emotional hangups, and check all those at the cloakroom before clocking in at shift start."


"Because a good security expert needs to be paying one hundred per cent attention to what she's doing while she's on the clock."


Virginia: "I get that, Ash. But..."


"Well, when are you ever /off/ the clock?"


"And... sure. You're here because your culture is different, and maybe for security it's better."


"Like, I totally get that."


"I will believe you'd make a better security spiders than I ever would."


"But when you show up, tell people you think they're good little fascist stormtroopers and that the cause they believe in is a pretty propaganda lie."


Virginia: "And then you've got no personality to show..."


"I mean. You're not offensive. I don't dislike you."


"I just can't imagine why I ever would you like you."


Ash nods.


Ash: "I'm off the clock whenever the cost of monitoring my actions exceeds how much I care about being monitored. In practical terms, I'm off the clock when I leave the arcology."


"Right now... I'm on break."


"And for the record? My vocabulary always seems a lot more interesting in the minutes you guys take than in the sentences I actually speak."


Ash shakes her head and makes an expansive hand-gesture


Ash: "And I'm not sure that's helpful."


Virginia: "...okay, you know what?"


"...fine."


Virginia lets out a breath.


Virginia: "Let's just get this out there then."


"Why in God's name did you think those tattoo's were a good idea?"


Ash raises an eyebrow


Ash: "Would you believe me if I said I liked the aesthetic?"


Virginia: "Yes, but I'd say you're an idiot."


"Which is kind of a cruel irony."


"But... whatever."


Virginia shakes her head.


Virginia: "Seriously though, why?"


Ash frowns.


Ash: "I really want to ask you the same question."


Virginia: "My dad's a devout Christian. How well do you think he'd react to an atheist using a cross as a fashion statement?"


Ash scratches the scars on the back of her head.


Ash: "That would depend on his precise affiliation and theology. But the way you ask the question makes me think he would not react charitably."


Virginia: "He'd tell you that God's forgiveness is infinite, but his is not."


"And he's kind of an extreme case, yeah, but..."


Virginia pulls up her sleeves, showing the blue and silver wires that run up her own arm to her wrists.


Virginia: "These mean something, you know? And you're mocking that."


Ash: "All I can say that that is not the intent."


"Well. OK. That's not precisely all I can say."


"But..."


Virginia: "Forgive me, but I don't believe that."


Virginia interrupts.


Virginia: "Indifference is a form of contempt."


"I'm telling you that these wires mean something to me. They mean something to the people around you and you're insulting them by wearing a knockoff."


"Even if you didn't mean any offense, now that you know, continuing to wear them makes it intentional."


Ash nods.


Ash: "Okay. I can turn them off. And maybe I will, now that I am aware of how it makes you feel."


"However, you are right that there is more to it than a fashion statement."


"But, uh..."


Ash trails off


Ash: "That's... a delicate subject."


"And you won't like that reason any better."


Virginia: "Well."


"What I'm imagining is pretty bad."


Ash sends a pulse of electricity to her datajack, and the colorful lines on her skin slowly begin to fade.


Virginia: "So unless it's that those are secret gang tattoos for your Humanis Politiclub membership."


"The truth is probably better."


"So, spill."


Ash nods


Ash: "I've..." she trails off, face suddenly tight.


"I've always been very conscious of my use of performance enhancers, and cyberware, and how much or how little I deplete the biological and astral reserves that I can potentially marshal in a crisis."


"Stimming up for routine work has never sat right with me, because it means I have nothing left when I need to pull an ace out of my sleeve."


"So..."


"Well, my recruiter was... less than perfectly candid up front about some of the requirements for this job."


"So by the time someone got around to giving me the list of mandatory surgical upgrades, I was pretty much committed."


Ash: "I felt trapped."


"Trapped, and vulnerable, and people I didn't know, and certainly didn't trust, were doing things to my body against my will."


Virginia: "...oh."


Ash: "So, yeah."


Virginia squeezes Ash's hand.


Virginia: "I'm sorry, Ash."


"I can't imagine what that's like."


Ash grasps Virginia's hand with both of her own.


Ash: "Good. That's good. Don't try."


"But... anyway."


"I guess the tats? A way of taking back some control. Some dignity."


"And maybe sticking it a little to the Company in a way that was, officially, beyond reproach."


Virginia: "I... I can't say I understand, Ash, but I can't blame you for that either."


"Nobody likes feeling helpless."


Virginia smiles slightly.


Virginia: "And you did piss off a lot of people."


"So, sticking-it-to-ness accomplished."


Ash just sits there for a long moment, letting the tattoos fade almost entirely.


Ash: "You know..."


"I'm not allowed to leave the arcology for another eighty-one days and eleven hours."


"Another reason I got the tattoos. Was so I could turn them off the first time I went outside."


"Petty, I guess."


Virginia: "...no."


Virginia says, her other hand meeting Ash's in the middle. "No, no it's not."


Virginia: "These things are a... badge of pride. Not a brand of ownership."


"...if you wanted."


Virginia says, after a pause.


Virginia: "You could sue the company. I know some really good lawyers."


"You'd win."


"But..."


"Well, honestly. I'd rather you stay."


Ash smiles.


Ash: "Thanks. Means a lot to me."


Virginia: "Well... I don't know if it's about you specifically. But that feels like the bad ending."


"You come here, get knocked around, and then run off angry."


"Like, we can do better."


Ash: "I don't know. It seemed all symbolic before I turned them off. But now that I have?"


Ash shrugs


Ash: "Just another fashion accessory that some people I care about find tasteless, and so I'll probably rarely wear."


"A pity, though, because I really do like the aesthetic."


Virginia: "Well..."


"You could get them for real"


Virginia says, delicately.


Ash shakes her head.


Ash: "I could, but I don't like the aesthetic enough to eat the assensing hit involved."


Virginia: "You know that skillwires aren't about aesthetic, right?"


"It's..."


"No, sorry. Talking about you time."


Ash: "In my line of work, 'able to be healed by a wage mage' is an important payskill."


"A full wire set? Not conducive to that."


Virginia: "It's not about work."


"It's about..."


"Well. Being what you're supposed to be."


"Like... take me, for instance. And Mark."


"We're both orcs. Not to say I'm unfeminine, but I could fold most of you sissies up like an accordion."


Virginia cracks a smile at that.


Virginia: "But, I spent my teenage years hanging out at clubs and driving fast cars, and Mark spent his learning how to throw a punch."


"So my physical strength doesn't matter much. I'm not a fighter and left to my own devices, I never will be."


"But, I could have been. And I can be -- for a little while anyway."


"It's incredibly useful, but more than that, it's a chance to see how I'd have felt about things if I went the other way."


"Because there's a million skills in life I could learn, but never will, because they're not important and I don't have the time."


"But they're neat to have."


Virginia: "...get it?"


Ash shakes her head.


Ash: "Not really."


"I mean..."


"The way you put it, I get the appeal."


"But on the purely utilitarian aspect, anything I can do with a wire set I can get a cheaper drone or agentsoft that does better."


"And for recreational use,"


Ash actually visibly shivers


Ash: "I just can't get past the feeling that there's something else, something alien, running my limbs like a low-rent pilotsoft."


Ash shakes her head again.


Ash: "No, intellectually I get the appeal."


"But viscerally, it's just not my thing."


Virginia frowns.


Virginia: "I'm sorry," she says.


"That just seems really sad."


Ash smiles and shrugs.


Ash: "I don't actually mind the wires so much."


"I do think the Company owes me an apology for fucking up the sleep regulator, though."


Virginia: "...um."


"I'm not totally sure they did."


"But, that's another conversation."


Virginia quickly attempts to shift gears.


Ash raises an eyebrow.


Ash: "That's a conversation we need to have sometime. But if now is not that time, then that's okay."


Virginia: "...well, I mean, if you want too."


"I just thought we were having a moment and it seems awkward."


Ash: "We are. But I think we should park the skillwires anyway. I mean, you seem to treat them as, in so many words, an object of religious reverence. And I view them as a tool. A fancy, expensive tool, but a tool."


"That's a conversational minefield I'd rather stop wandering around in."


Virginia: "If you want. But reverence is..."


"...I don't know. I was about to say 'the wrong term,' but maybe it isn't."


Ash: "Fair."


Virginia: "It's like..."


"Shoot, this would be so much easier to explain if I was allowed to tell you about the Motivational."


"But it's that feeling that you're a part of something bigger than yourself."


"A tiny cog in a vast machine."


"And that's... I mean, it doesn't make my day or anything. But it's a good feeling."


Ash nods.


Ash: "It is."


"Also a dangerous one, though."


Virginia frowns.


Virginia: "...Ash."


"Don't take this the wrong way."


"But I really don't want you to end up like your friend."


Virginia pauses.


Virginia: "Adrian. Right. Forgot his name."


Ash raises an eyebrow.


Ash: "That makes two of us."


"Three, if you count Adrian."


Virginia: "And... well."


"That feeling is a part of working here."


"Every day, it's a part of working here."


Ash nods.


Ash: "It's a good feeling, and it's part of working in any good work environment."


Virginia: "...but it's not something you feel here."


Ash shakes her head


Ash: "No, it is."


"Remember that ridiculous hardware problem they gave us on the first day?"


"That was a fun problem to try to solve."


"And we really came together to work on it, in the end."


"That coming together, as a team, to work on something interesting."


Virginia: "I'm glad you feel that way," Virginia says after a moment. "But... seriously. I had no idea you did until right now."


"Maybe you can show it a bit more?"


Ash smiles and falls silent for a few moments.


Ash: "I can try."


"But that's a really steep culture clash - at Renraku it was sort of assumed that you'd feel good about solving interesting problems, or being given important tasks."


"But *talking* about it?"


"That wasn't done."


Virginia: "That's okay. You can talk about it a little, and the rest of us will just assume you're stoic."


Virginia says, a bit brighter.


Ash: "Well, I guess everyone knows now."


"That's another thing that's taking some getting used to. At Renraku, everyone *was able to* tap the break room camera feeds."


"But you were sort of expected not to."


"Most of us did anyway, from time to time, but when you did you were expected to pretend you hadn't."


Virginia: "Well... I mean. It's not like we're crazy here."


"If there's something you're really not supposed to break into, you'll know."


"But, come on. You left your commlink out in the open."


"What was I supposed to do?"


"You and Razor make a cute couple."


Ash looks suddenly serious


Ash: "Two points. First, Razor and I are not a 'couple.'"


"Cute or not."


"And if you see her in the flesh, you may re-think that particular adjective."


Virginia looks perplexed.


Virginia: "I'm an orc. I don't have anything against trolls."


Ash chuckles.


Ash: "Neither do I, obviously."


"But 'cute' is not the term I'd use."


"Razor is like... I dunno. Safe. Unmovable. Reliable."


Ash smiles.


Ash: "But 'cute?'"


Virginia: "More like you two are cute together."


"You're like that Harper girl that's always on the trid. You know. The one who actually has to stand on he husband's knee to kiss him?"


Ash: "Yeah, the mayoral candidate. I like her. She's got fire."


"I can't decide whether I wish she'd get the win she thinks she wants, or I wish she'd lose and keep breathing."


Virginia: "Don't be silly. Who'd kill her? The UCAS would have to take a stand or they'd be humiliated in front of the entire world."


"I think she could do it. She's... you know. Good."


"But, ah..."


Virginia blushes a bit and looks down.


Virginia: "Sorry I called you a couple."


Ash smiles.


Ash: "Easy mistake to make. I didn't mean to bite your head off."


"It's just..."


"A sore subject."


"Razor would like us to be. But I can't."


Virginia: "Oh."


"...um."


"Can I ask...?"


"I mean, if it's not too personal."


Ash: "You can ask me anything, though I won't promise I'll answer."


Virginia: "Why not?"


Ash: "Wrong gender."


Ash answers without any visible hesitation.


Virginia: "Oh."


"...yeah."


Virginia says after a moment. "I was about to say there's a fix for that, but-"


Virginia: "Somehow, I think if skillwires were too much for you-"


"Yeah."


Ash touches her temple with two fingers.


Ash: "Problem's in here."


"Not," she points at her crotch, "down there."


"And there's no surgery for that."


Virginia: "I didn't need the gestures."


Virginia says, giggling a bit as she grins.


Virginia: "But point taken."


"...so."


"Where does that leave Mark then?"


Ash blushes


Ash: "Watching us right now?"


"But I'm not gonna get away with that answer, am I?"


Virginia: "Nope."


Virginia grins.


Virginia: "But... you know."


"Team leaders are elected, not appointed."


"And since Mark is just running a skillsoft anyway, anyone could replace him."


"And that means he wouldn't be your boss anymore, right?"


Ash shakes her head.


Ash: "That would be an incredibly bad idea, for oh so many reasons."


"Not all of which involve MHR firing him so fast that the sonic boom would violate every noise pollution law between here and Kyoto."


"But, yeah..."


"Of course I want to. I mean, I'm not blind, and he's..."


Ash shrugs and blushes like a teenager.


Virginia: "Single? And forget MHR. He's not your boss, he's not a first reponder."


"And, oh look. Nora just volunteered for team leader."


Ash smiles.


Ash: "They're all watching, aren't they?"


Virginia: "Duh."


Virginia giggles.


Virginia: "With all the work we've been doing, this is the most fun they've had in days."


"Come on. The only reason they haven't voted yet is Glen says we shouldn't pressure you."


Ash: "Because being under the gun like this isn't pressure at all?" It could have been a rebuke, but Ash is smiling and there's laughter in her voice.


Virginia: "Do I look like a pretty boy elf?"


"I'm all over the pressure."


Ash: "I need to talk to Mark about that. If, you know, he wants to talk."


"And thinks there's something to talk about."


"Also, if you guys keep this hidden sideband shit up, I'm going to have to start tapping your comm feeds."


Virginia: "In out defense, we only did it to talk about you behind your back."


Ash laughs.


Ash: "Yeah."


"That would be my point you're making there."


Virginia: "Okay, tell you what. I'll invite you to the group node and give you and Mark some time?"


"S'okay?"


Ash is smiling so hard she almost fails to answer.


Ash: "Okay."


GM (GM): At once, Ash's AR display fills with a flurry of colored lights.


Mark: Guys seriously NOT FUNNY.


Nora: Ash/Ashe. I ship it.


Kyle: Hey, Laura. You should be team leader next. Then we'd actually get to see you talk. ^_^


Laura: Actually, that might be kind of nice. I get so nervous around people.


Lisa: Ha ha @ Nora OTP


GM (GM): Allen: Kyle/Ash? Klash? Yes. Klash.


Glen: Ugh. I will never understand the appeal of this.


Nora: Shipping is LIFE.


And so it goes, so fast that Ash can't keep track of it all. Most of it is just noise. And Nora keeps linking pictures of cats.


But she gets the gist of it.


Virginia: "Tell you what. This talk actually made me feel better."


"I think I'm going to go take some personal time."


"I'll see you this evening, okay?"


Ash just nods, momentarily lost for words. Then she hugs Virginia fiercely.


Ash: "Good night. Or morning. Whatever. See you at shift start, and we'll talk this evening. Well. Maybe. Depending. I may have conflicting obligations."


"You know, depending on how the next ten minutes go."


Virginia laughs, and hugs Ash in return.


Virginia: "We'll fine some time."


"Knock him dead."


GM (GM): Virginia slowly disentangles herself, and heads out.


Mark does not appear immediately.


And when he does, it's with what Ash can only describe as the masculine equivalent of lurking in the doorway and wringing his hands.


Specifically -- taking too long to emerge, and striding out a bit too aggressively when he does.


Mark: "Ah..."


"Ash."


"And emotionally sick observers."


Mark adds to the room as a whole.


AR FEED Nora: We're not emotionally sick we're just perverted.


AR FEED Allen: Ewww.


AR FEED Brett: What's the problem? Orcs aren't your fetish?


AR FEED Kyle: Guys, don't interrupt them. They need private time.


AR FEED Lisa: They had private time before someone insisted on being in on the secret node.


AR FEED Laura: Ash, you might take to take you AR glasses off for a bit. This will get worse before it gets better.


AR FEED Nora: Oh come on. What warm-blooded straight girl doesn't love orcs?


GM (GM): And so it does.


(goes*)


Ash walks over to Mark, a little slower than her usual pace, fumbling with something in her pocket.


Mark clears his throat.


Ash fishes out a fiber cable, and jacks it into her datajack, before offering Mark the other end.


Mark: "So... how do we... start this conversation?"


Mark looks at the cable.


Mark: "Good stat!"


(start*)


AR FEED Nora: THIS IS CRUEL AND UNUSUAL


Ash: "Yeah, let's cut the peanut gallery out of the loop."


GM (GM): Mark plugs in.


And Ash takes off her glasses.


And, in at least a sense, they are alone.


Mark: {Hey}


Ash: > Hi


Ash takes Mark's hand


Ash: > So...


Mark takes Ash's in return, more hesitantly than he has in the past.


Ash: > Your question stands, I guess.


GM (GM): Her nightmares of the last few days suddenly spring to mind.


Images of Mark, and her in sim, and...


Orcish tastes.


They involve fists, and knives, and... well. As Virginia said. Being in charge. Physically.


Mark is oblivious to that particular vision, and offers Ash a nervous smile.


Mark: {Well, I guess I don't have to admit that you're... well.}


{Tempting me to sin?}


Ash: > Against what theology?


Mark: {The First Reformed Church of Not Taking Advantage of Crying Girls?}


Mark chuckles weakly, and his gaze goes to the side.


Ash nods.


Mark: {It's a very specific sort of faith.}


Ash: > Yet oddly applicable.


Mark: {Well I like to think of myself as devout.}


Ash: > That's good.


> It is sort of one of the things I think we need to talk about.


> I mean...


> If your sensor suite is half as good as mine, you can probably tell that...


> Yeah...


Mark: {The knowledge did not help.}


Ash: > Sorry.


> But... ah.


> My emotional stability does remain in question, as it were.


Mark: {I noticed.}


Mark lets out a breath, and nods.


Mark: {And, while we're being honest?}


{My last two relationships were with girls who... well.}


{Were looking for a guy to get them excited and tell them what to think.}


{And I was kind of okay with that.}


{I'm not sure we'd be a great fit.}


Ash: > I'll be blunt here - I don't care about a great fit for the lived-happily-ever-after storybook ending.


> But I like you - I really do.


> And I really want to give it a spin. And if it doesn't work, it doesn't work. But at least we'd know, and we could go back to being friends.


> But...


> Well.


> I'm still a total headcase right now.


Mark: {Laura wakes up screaming every time she shuts her eyes.}


{She's not crazy.}


Ash: > It's not just that. God, I want to talk with her, but I'm not sure how to break that ice. Anyway, it's not just the nightmares.


> My sister died very recently


> As in, less than a month and a half ago.


> It was, as they say, a closed-casket funeral.


> I'm not done dealing with that.


> And then there's the culture shock of moving here.


Mark: {...are you warning me about what's ahead, or telling me you might not be in your right mind?}


{Because, one of those isn't a problem.}


{And... the other's a problem.}


Ash: > I'm...


> Shit, the problem is that I don't know.


> I think I'm sane


> But... uh.


> I can, objectively, make a pretty fucking convincing case for why I'm not.


Mark pauses a moment.


Mark: {...do you want to talk about it?}


Ash: > Yes. Yes, I do.


> Is this jack connected to a comm?


Mark: {Yes, but I turned the power off.}


Ash begins taking off her trode net.


Mark: {we'll be fine.}


Ash: > OK.


> Fair.


> Uh.


> So. My sister was murdered.


> You may or may not know that already.


> It's technically publicly available information, and we do share a surname.


Mark: {I... knew, yeah.}


Mark nods slowly.


Ash: > We have no idea who did it, or what the motive was.


> Or rather, I have a number of ideas, none of them reassuring, but no tangible leads.


> We weren't close, Mark. In fact, she gave the convincing impression that she hated my guts.


> We... were both offered a Renraku SIN. Back when.


> Did you know I was in the Arcology?


Mark pauses.


Ash: > Again, in principle public information. But, uh, this one's rather more obscure.


Mark: {I didn't know that, no.}


Ash: > It's not something I advertise. It's in the past and dealt with.


> Anyway. Renraku's HR outreach department showed up in our home one day.


> Bearing an offer of reinstating our SINs.


> Funny how they manage to find just the set of twins containing a talented decker, out of the hundred thousand orphans from the Arcology.


> Anyway.


> Willow - my sister. She did not agree with my decision to accept the offer.


Ash: > That was five and a half years ago. We were sixteen at the time, and had lived together all our lives up to that point.


> She never spoke to me again after that.


Mark: "...I'm sorry."


Mark says aloud, reaching out to put an arm around Ash.


Ash nods, and hugs Mark.


Ash: > And then six weeks ago, I'm told she was murdered.


> By someone using military-grade hardware, with rootkits into LoneStar's drones, and the city's traffic cameras.


> So, uh...


> To say I haven't totally processed that yet.


> Would be a major understatement.


Mark: {...Jesus. No wonder you've been so-}


{Well. Mistrusting.}


{I'd be paranoid too.}


Ash: > Oh. Oh, no, that's not a temporary thing that'll go away once I'm done dealing with my psychological shit.


> Sorry, but you're stuck with that particular character trait.


Mark offers a small smile.


Ash: > You can take the girl out of the sprawl, but you can't take the sprawl out of the girl.


Mark: {Well, I uh...}


{I'm not sure what to say to that, Ash.}


{I'm sorry for what you've been through. If I can be there for you to help... with your nightmares.}


{I'm happy to.}


Ash nods.


Ash: > But I'm sensing a 'but' in that sentence somewhere.


Mark: {I'm just... not sure if that means you're crazy or not.}


Ash: > I'll admit that a part of me was hoping you would be able to tell me.


> I mean, the cynical mistrust of metahuman resources isn't a sign of insanity - at least not the kind that would make it immoral for someone to shack up with me.


> But I'm not sure I'm done processing Willow's death.


> And my culture shock coming here.


> And the way the mandatory surgery was sprung on me after the fact.


> And... and when I start making a list like this, I can almost convince myself that I should check out for half a year of medical leave to get my shit back together.


Mark: {Maybe you should.}


Mark admits.


Mark: {Laura's been talking. Her nightmares, well... aren't like yours.}


{Sleep regulator nightmares are formless. You don't dream, you just wake up terrified.}


{The skillsoft thinks your issue is psychological, not medical.}


Mark looks down and away suddenly.


Ash nods.


Ash: > That's...


> A relief, actually.


> If it's true.


Mark: {I'm glad.}


Mark says, though he doesn't look back at her just yet.


Ash: > So why do you look like there's another shoe that's about to drop?


Mark: {Uh.}


Mark clears his throat.


Mark: {Because I'm trying not to stare at your chest when you're talking, actually.}


{While I'm being honest to a fault.|


Ash giggles - actually giggles.


Ash: > Stare away. I know for a fact that Renraku HR has a number of, uh, *interesting* trid clips of me in the shower.


> Pretty sure someone got fired over the fact that I managed to get into that server, actually.


> So, yeah. Stopped bothering me a while ago.


Mark: {I'm not sure giving me permission to ogle you is such a good idea.}


Mark replies, though he is smiling a bit now.


Ash hugs Mark and holds him for a bit.


Ash: > Eh, if we decide I'm crazy, then I can't really give permissions anyway.


Mark hugs her back, and though his posture is a bit stiff, he's still smiling.


Mark: {Well, it's not fair that crazy girls can be that attractive.}


Ash: > Didn't your parents ever tell you that life isn't fair?


> Anyway, much as I hate to disappoint the peanut gallery, this is not a decision you need to make right now.


Mark 's right hand slides down her back and past her hips, finally coming to rest on her rear.


Mark: By way of an answer, his fingers gradually squeeze.


Ash purrs


Ash: > Probably isn't a decision we *should* make right now, actually.


"But you do make a rather compelling point."


Mark: {Probably not.} He agrees.


{But you gave me permission to ogle you. I was helpless.}


Mark 's grip tightens, holding her firmly in place across the back, while his other hand squeezes her rear progressively harder.


Ash: > Not sure that falls under ogling in the dictionary I'm used to.


Mark: {It's a natural progression.}


Ash keeps one hand around Mark's shoulders for support, but the other goes exploring his lower back.


Ash: > That's not how permissions normally work.


Mark: {So then, this would be totally unacceptable.}


Mark 's hand finds her waistline, and sharply slides down under the fabric of her jumpsuit.


Ash: > That's not quite what I said.


Ash puts a hand behind Mark's head and pulls herself up to kiss him.


Ash: "I think," she pants when she breaks the kiss, "that we need to jack out before continuing this conversation."


Mark is... well. All orcs are masculine, to put it gently. To put it more bluntly, he's built like a rock. Hard muscle grinds against Ash's softer frame as she pulls himself up him into a kiss, even his one-handed grip easily able to pin him in place.


Ash: "It's a devil of a job cleaning the jack when a cable tip breaks off inside it."


Mark: "Can't," he answers, and abruptly, he hooks his hand underneath her.


One hand along her rear and one along her back sufficing to lift her up and prop her against one of the many couches that fills the common space.


"No free hands. Busy."


GM (GM): -------------------------------------------


Ash isn't particularly bashful about her body.


Not since the camera incident, anyway.


But... it didn't quite occur to her just how anti-privacy NeoNET was until this moment.


Since she did, when you get right down to it, just let a man rip off all her clothes and take her in front of an audience.


And nobody seems to think that's particularly weird.


GM (GM): Nora even comments on Ash's expression during. She snaps a picture of it.


"CAN'T TALK" the caption reads, "BUSY SETTING SEXISM BACK 50 YEARS"


It's pretty funny though. Everyone laughs. And it is kind of nice having Mark around that night.


No dreams tonight. Just night-terrors, and waking up in a sweat.


Virginia knocks twice on the door to Ash's room.


Virginia: "Rise and shine, lovebirds!"


Mark: "Nnngh."


Mark makes a sound from somewhere behind Ash's head.


Ash sits up in the bed and stretches, simultaneously working a few kinks out of her back and, perhaps, a few kinks into Mark's imagination.


Virginia: "Work's in half an hour," she says, redundantly. It takes Ash a moment to notice she's not wearing her AR glasses.


"And I brought doughnuts! Really cheap ones."


Mark: "Okay, I'll get up."


Mark grumbles, sliding his hands around Ash from behind.


Ash twists around so she's facing down toward the bed again, to kiss her lover before jumping out of bed.


Ash: "Gotta grab a shower, or I'll smell like a dead fish by end-of-shift."


Mark: "Mmm, no, stay."


Ash: "Can't, love. But you can come along. Save water, shower together, and all that."


Mark: "Or we could stay in bed."


Virginia: "Let her go, or I start the color commentary."


Ash: "Don't you dare," Ash laughs.


Virginia: "Really? Because you know, there's an annotated version of the sensor feed from yesterday?"


"It highlights the exact moment Ash's eyes widen when she sees your-"


Mark: "Okay, okay. Yes."


"Up."


Ash: "Virginia? Too much information."


"Also, if that feed ever leaves this arcology?"


Virginia giggles.


Ash: "They'll never find all the bodies."


Virginia: "Please, I was totally making that up. I've got better things to do."


"But still, Ash. Very nice."


Virginia heads back into the common space, as Mark rolls out of bed.


Mark: "So I hear in Renraku that doesn't happen."


"Remind me why you ever left?"


Ash shakes her head.


Ash: "In Renraku, the two of us would have been, at best, demoted - more likely fired. And Nora, Virginia, and the rest would have gotten a very stern talking to."


"Renraku lied a lot more about how many people were watching when you had guests over."


"So admitting it like Virginia just did? Big no-no."


Mark: "Well."


"Now that you've had it both ways."


"The no-privacy peanut gallery."


"That bad?"


Ash grabs a uniform jumpsuit and starts off to the showers adjoining the common area, not bothering to actually put it on.


Ash: "I dunno. It's annoying and corny, but also kind of endearing at the same time."


Mark: "Well, we're all nerds here, so, you know."


GM (GM): "You're not a nerd!" calls Allen from the next room. "You were a street fighter for God's sake!"


Mark: "And that's why I'm your king!"


GM (GM): "You're not king anymore. We voted Laura in."


Ash: "Hopefully before the previous king went to town on my jumpsuit?"


GM (GM): "Well, uh. Technically no. But speaking as a married man, HR is very forgiving about these things."


Mark: "No they aren't. But... worth it."


Ash: "And by the way, you're never going to do that to any piece of clothing I actually like," she admonishes as she enters the shower stall.


Mark rises as well, following Ash and stepping in with her.


Mark: "You better start wearing cheap clothes then."


Ash: "I trust you, Mark. But I'm serious. That was very romantic for a first date, and all in good fun. But I'm pretty sure I'd get tired of that routine sooner rather than later."


Mark: "Alright."


Mark reaches back and hits the water.


Mark: "What about going crazy when I see you naked? Is that still okay?"


Mark asks, putting his hands around her and pulling her up against him, the hot spray just starting all around them.


Ash smiles, and presses against the orc.


Ash: "I'll live," she giggles.


GM (GM): By the time the two extricate themselves and actually manage to get clean.


Most of the others are already awake, and less concerned with catcalling and more with getting their drugs of choice.


Lisa looks the worst off of everyone, but she always does out of hot sim.


Practically snarling at anyone who gets within ten feet of her.


Virginia: "Hey, Ash. I saved you sprawl doughnuts."


Virginia gestures at the table.


Ash lights up her face with a big smile.


Ash: "How did you get those through inbound decon?"


Virginia: "Nepotism hath its privileges."


Ash: "Hah!"


Ash barks as she bites into the pastry with a look of bliss on her face.


Ash: "I was planning to declare them as non-food."


GM (GM): Nora takes a bite of her own, and makes an expression as well -- but it's not bliss.


"Oh my god," she mouths, spitting it back up onto the plate. "It takes like butter and paste."


Ash: "On the argument that they pass precisely none of the qualifying tests for food fit for human consumption."


Virginia: "I know!"


"They're awful."


"It's the joy of having something really bad once in awhile."


Nora: "I don't get it."


Mark: "Your porn collection suggests otherwise."


GM (GM): Allen manages to spit his drink back up into his glass, at least.


Ash shakes her head.


Ash: "Mark, is there something I should know about you and Nora while I'm still silly for you?"


Nora: "Don't you dare."


Mark: "She sometimes links things when she's enthusiastic."


Ash breaks into laughter.


Ash: "You're kidding me."


Nora turns a brilliant red.


Mark: "Yeah, that joke about setting gender equality back? She's projecting."


"Also, magical creatures fetish."


Nora hides her face behind her hands.


Ash: "Okay, Mark."


"No longer funny."


Nora: "No, it's..."


Nora says, though her face is burning.


Nora: "It's a little funny."


"Like, to me, right now, not so much. But objectively? Yeah, totally."


Ash chuckles, but remains firm.


Ash: "Well, it's not funny to me that it's not funny to you."


"Though, Nora?"


"If I ever discover footage of me has somehow made its way into a backlink?"


"Accidental or otherwise?"


"You had better keep hard backups."


Nora: "Hey, woah, woah!"


"I'd never do that!"


"...now that you've told me not to."


Nora cracks a small smile.


Ash laughs


Virginia chuckles as well.


Virginia: "Wanna take a walk, Ash?"


Ash: "Sure. Let me just grab my 'trodes, so I can get ready for start-of-shift while we walk."


"I think they might turn the frowny-points back on soon."


Allen: "...oh. Oh!"


"You're opted out right now. You don't get those alerts."


Mark: "If you tell her I will /KILL/ you."


Allen: "Oh, hey! +50 points. 'Death Threats are Not Funny.'"


"And looks like Mark just won a prize."


Ash raises an eyebrow.


Glen: "He got a lot last night," Glen explains. "The computer isn't smart enough to understand that Pillow Talk Doesn't Count and... well."


Ash: "And most of what was said after around 3 o'clock was highly inappropriate, yes."


"But that's not what I was asking."


Mark: "Sensitivity training."


Mark answers, with a grumble.


Nora: "Hey, that's an irony because you won it by-"


"Oh, wait, no. We've already run that joke into the ground."


"Nevermind~"


Nora says, all sing-song.


Virginia lifts a hand for Ash's attention, but lowers it without a word.


Ash shakes her head while she grabs the bag of trodes and other commlink peripherals from the table where a cleaning 'bot dropped it off after clearing out the detritus of her former uniform.


Ash puts on her AR glasses and wanders over to Virginia's side.


Virginia steps outside with Ash, the two walking off down the hall together. There's a park nearby.


Virginia: "You know this was going on the whole time, right?"


"Just now they're not afraid to do it in front of you."


Ash nods.


Ash: "I wasn't totally sure what was going on, of course."


"But you can't hide a sideband that wide without leaving a noticeable hole."


Virginia: "We're a very mature people. I'm sure you can tell."


Virginia says, though her smile does actually seem a bit embarrassed.


Ash snickers


Ash: "Yeah. Very mature."


"So what changed? Aside from the fact that I got a date that wasn't battery-operated?"


Virginia: "I don't know. You opened up a bit, I guess?"


"People felt sympathetic for you without feeling sorry for you."


Ash nods.


Ash: "That's good."


Virginia: "And ditching the tattoos helped."


Ash nods.


Virginia adds, gesturing as Ash's wrist, where only a single wire-mark remains.


Ash: "I didn't realize those were such an issue."


"Thanks."


"For pointing it out."


Virginia: "You know. If you think people don't like you, you can just..."


"Ask."


"We don't bite."


Virginia smiles.


Ash: "That's what I did. The reason I asked Glen about hidden nodes was that I figured you guys had a sideband going that I wasn't privy to."


"I worried that I was giving the impression that I didn't care about you by failing to go to the minimal bother of looking for your chat room."


"While I was thinking I was being courteous by waiting to be invited."


"Culture shock is funny like that."


Virginia: "I know. Well... I know now."


"And I think everyone else is sortof getting it too."


"So, sorry if we were all giving you the cold shoulder these past two weeks."


Ash shakes her head.


Ash: "You're not obligated to like me."


"And, well."


"I was being a bitch for the first few days."


"I still think I had my reasons, of course."


"But..."


"Yeah."


Ash: "I just wish someone had sat me down and told me that the tattoos were a fuckup."


Virginia: "I know. Huge oversight. Whoever recruited you /really/ fucked up."


Ash: "Yeah, well."


"There is a story in that, but I'm not sure it's mine to tell."


"I gather that he's already up a creek with no paddle."


Virginia: "Well... it's okay. All's well that ends well."


"And you'll understand why it's so important to us once you're a full employee."


Ash nods.


Ash: "Probably."


Virginia pauses, the course she's on taking the two out to a wide walkway, high above the park.


Virginia: "So, I checked."


"Intensive program or not, they're legally required to give you the time if a doctor says you need therapy."


"You know. For nightmares."


"....sorry, that was really intrusive."


Ash: "I think you got that last word wrong. I believe the one you're looking for is 'considerate.'"


"I'll look into it."


"Thank you."


Virginia: "Sure. Sure."


Virginia nods, and looks off at the park.


Ash follows Virginia's gaze.


Ash: "Something's bothering you."


Virginia: "It's uh..."


"Well, it's a little thing."


"But talking to you last night helped, so..."


"Do you mind?"


Ash: "Please, go on?"


Virginia: "...well."


Virginia pauses again.


Virginia: "I'm not in the top 40% of the group, am I?"


Ash ponders for a moment.


Ash: "Hard to tell."


"On raw technical acumen, no."


"No amount of boosting and skillchipping can make up for a decade of experience and training. No matter what the technology evangelists tell you."


"But raw technical acumen isn't all we're being measured on."


Virginia: "Sure. If bench press weight or fashion sense is a factor, I'm set."


Virginia says, perhaps a tad bitterly.


Ash stands next to the taller woman, hands behind her back and feet slightly apart, looking out over the park at dawn.


Ash: "You sell yourself short, Virginia."


"Last night you, if not single-handedly, then at least majorly contributed to improving the function of our team, *as a team.*"


"Humans are not the fastest, or the toughest, or the fiercest beasts on the savannah."


"Metahumanity really only has one thing going for it, when you get right down to brass tacks. And that's teamwork."


"And on that score, you're displaying a far broader and more nuanced skill set than, for instance, myself."


Virginia: "...I don't know."


Virginia says, staring down at the park.


Virginia: "Thanks, though," she adds after a moment.


"Sorry, last night was just... mixed."


"I'm feeling kind of moody."


Ash: "Mixed?"


Virginia: "I went to have a talk with my dad and ask if..."


"Well, frankly. If he cared about me more now that I'm playing with a full deck."


Ash: "Harsh question to ask of a parent."


Virginia: "I wasn't in a charitable mood."


Ash: "I didn't say you didn't deserve to know."


Virginia: "No. It's my fault. You shouldn't ask a question you're not prepared to know the answer too."


Ash puts a hand on Virginia's shoulder.


Virginia: "...anyway. I got pissed off and decided to head off into the sprawl."


"So now I'm here. Didn't get anything done yesterday. The buildup will probably have me drowning for like a week."


"But I got drunk and made out with a cute guy and pretended I still had my old life and..."


"I don't know. It was nice."


Ash: "Nothing wrong with blowing off steam once in a while."


"I mean, I'm talking with Razor for at least twenty minutes each night."


"Twenty minutes where I could be working."


"And I'm *always* behind."


"Since, well, no wires."


Virginia: "Yeah, a twenty minute talk with your friend and an eight hour long bender aren't really the same."


"But, I'm an heiress. I'm not supposed to contribute to society, right?"


Virginia asks, and this time, the bitterness comes through a lot clearer.


Virginia: "...sorry."


Ash: "Don't be sorry for telling me how you feel. I know it sounds like corny advice from a low-rent psychology chip."


"But that doesn't make it wrong."


Virginia: "I just don't know how to feel about any of this."


"I mean, my dad..."


"He didn't use the words, but..."


"I don't know. I feel like he told me I was a pet he kept around. I mean, it's not like I did anything except spend the company's money."


"He wasn't proud of anything I'd ever done."


"I was just sort of there."


Virginia: "And that's fucked up! I had my head cracked open because daddy didn't love me. That's some classical textbook case abuse right there."


"But it's not like he was wrong exactly, was he?"


"It just never bothered me before but it bothers me now!"


"And now that he says, 'Well yes, Virginia, now that you're actually acting like my daughter instead of a reminder not to sleep with sprawl girls, I do love you.'"


Ash just stands there, supporting the other woman with a hand on her shoulder and an attentive ear.


Virginia: "...what? Am I supposed to tell him to fuck off? That WAS what I wanted wasn't it?"


"...I don't know."


"Thanks for listening while I'm crazy at you."


Ash: "It's not crazy."


"I don't know. I've never met your father. I'm not sure I'd like him very much. But... Are you an only child?"


Virginia: "Yeah."


Virginia nods.


Virginia: "My mom's uh..."


"Let's pretend she's dead. It'll be a lot easier."


Ash: "Oh."


"Sorry."


Virginia shrugs.


Virginia: "It's probably why I was a little... slow. To start with."


"I'm lucky I didn't end up with brain damage."


Ash nods.


Virginia: "Anyway, she's somewhere in the sprawl now."


"I don't keep up with her. Dad doesn't either."


"Dad took me when I was young, and... well."


"First world problems sob story I guess."


Ash squeezes Virginia's shoulder


Ash: "I have a friend who's been out of his beetle habit for... five months by now, I think."


"Back when he was still chipping..."


"There was just nothing I or anyone else could do."


"Other than be there when he wanted to stop. But some people don't want to stop."


"And then you just gotta cut your losses."


Virginia: "...yeah."


"I mean, I'm not broken up about her. I basically see myself as a single-parent child."


"And dad's not like..."


"Like, I don't know. He never went out of his way to hurt me or anything. He didn't just walk up and tell me, 'Virginia, you are my greatest shame.'"


"I asked."


"And he answered honestly. Even politely."


Ash: "I can't tell you how to feel, or fix you and your dad's issues. But if it were me in his shoes? I'd ask you to remember that this is as new to him as it is to you."


"Perhaps even moreso. Since he's spent all those year... well, being a lot more aware of the baseline."


"So the change might actually seem even greater to him than it does to you."


Ash shrugs


Ash: "I'm not trying to make excuses for him. But..."


"Something to think about."


Virginia: "...I guess."


"How would you feel if you had a kid?"


Virginia pauses.


Virginia: "Okay, wow, no. Backtrack that one."


"Just gonna reel that one back in."


Ash nods.


Ash: "Yeah, not gonna be able to answer it anyway."


"I can't really imagine having a kid, let alone one with a congenital cognitive handicap."


"But I do know that most parents of kids with special needs do love them."


"And take pride in their achievements."


"Even if some of them may be too macho to admit it."


Virginia: "...heh."


"Thanks."


"...we should probably get back to work now."


"Day'll be starting soon."


Ash: "Or we could find a bench and phone it in."


"View's nice here."


"My back will murder me in my sleep for it tonight, but..."


Ash shrugs


Virginia: "...heh."


"Yeah, I'd like that."


"Come on, I see one over there."
 
The bells are not ringing yet. But they will soon.

​



The sprawl stretches out before Ash's feet—a twisting, winding path of concrete. It is the road that goes to all places, and the river that carries all ships. It flows under her feet as she runs, twisting like a ribbon and flowing up into the sky. Suspended above her are the spires of Bellevue, the towers that dwell in the sky and point towards the ground. Up there, people fly to and fro, but here, Ash must run. The sidewalk is rough under her thin-worn shoes, but her excitement is such that she doesn't notice. She almost runs out into traffic, narrowly saved by the restraining hand of a passing rating 1 urban movement skillsoft.


She thanks him quickly, buts darts away without another look, weaving back and forth among the sprites and icons that move along the sidewalk. She needs to get back home. She has wonderful news, and Willow's Renraku SIN contract is in her hand.


The run seems to take forever, but Arborvitae finally comes into sight, and Ash darts down the alley running between the two encrypted data clusters. Her foot slips on a puddle of oil as she reaches the steps of the old factory, and she almost flies face first into the rusty metal, but she recovers in the nick of time. She's no sooner back on her feet than she's up the steps, darting up to the old factory entrance and then clambering up the ladder that leads to the commune entrance.


"Ash! Don't run on the steps!" Jingfei calls as Ash hops into the old control room. It's a command that she ignores, darting between the Agents and Pilots busy watching the sim games scattered around the little space. Across the gantryways she runs, first to Willow's room, then to the gardens, then to the supply room, each time looking left and right and not finding what she seeks.


A route back to the common room still leaves her with nothing, her tension such that it seems like the SIN contract is burning a hole in her pocket. "Hey, Ash," calls Nora, waving as Ash passes. Her icon takes the form of a centaur-fawn, bare from the waist up and deer from the waist down, and she sits curled up on one of the bean bags, playing games with the others. "If you're looking for Willow, she's upstairs."


"Thanks, Nora," Ash answers, breathlessly racing off towards the top-deck stairs.


The stairs wrap around the factory's outer frame, twisting like the body of a serpent, long slain. Stainless steel are its glittering scales, and plastcrete are its bones, the fires that once belched from its steel jaws cool. Drone subscriptions scuttle along the steps, scattering with Ash's passage. Parasites, feeding on the corpse, and symbiotes not yet aware their host is dead.


Ash finds Willow at the top of the stairs, sitting in one of the damaged offices, now exposed to the air. She's sitting behind a fold-up plastic table, working on something on a sheet of E-paper. A new piece of furniture, salvaged out of some dumpster. The rooms original furniture is long destroyed by the elements. The room has a dirty look to it, with exposed ceiling ducts and beams. Golden bells hang from the ceiling, supported by red ribbons tied to the exposed electronics. They don't produce a sound when Ash shoves through them, knocking together in total silence.


Willow looks up, when Ash enters, the SIN offer already in Ash's hands.
 
Ash envelops Willow in a hug almost before Willow has time to react, and by the time she manages to stammer out "we have SINs, Willow. We have our SINs back," tears of joy are flowing down her cheeks.


"We can live in nice houses, and go to real schools, and they come with full scholarships, and..." she babbles happily on, the details lost to the mists of memory, all of it coming together in a single warm, joyous glow.
 
A chill wind blows through the upper levels of the factory, making the bells sway and ripple like grass in the wind. But no matter how much they knock together or swing, not a sound emerges. At first, Ash continues to talk quickly, rattling off all the wonderful news, but she gradually notices that Willow isn't smiling back. Her expression is tight—a grimace like she swallowed something distasteful. Her arms are held tight against her, and the grasps her elbows with her hands, shielding her against the biting wind.


"You haven't signed anything yet, have you?" she asks.
 
Ash's face falls as the tone of Willow's question shatters her happy, bubbly babbling. A pit forms in her stomach, swallowing up her joy and leaving a formless dread in its place. For a moment she feels as though she might be swept into the abyss by the undertow.


Ash's hands fall to her side, still clutching Willow's SIN contract, as she abandons her embrace. "Of course I signed my contract. I... I ran straight back with yours." Her voice regains some of its previous cadence, but the tone remains hollow, careful. "I thought you'd be happy, Willow. This is like a fairie tale come true."
 
"Yeah, Ash. It's like one of the old faerie tales, where the stupid peasant ends up chained to some faerie prince's radiator for eternity!" Willow snaps, her shouts attracting the judgmental stares of the icons below. Mixed Metaphors, Anachronism: +999 Aggro. A wave of stress seems to overcome her momentarily, and she lifts her hand to her face, turning away to look out the gaping hole in the wall that serves as a window. "No, I mean. It's okay. It's okay. They won't chase up on this too hard. You can go hide with the Ponies out in the barrens until they give up. We'll tell them you're dead or something."
 
Confusion mars Ash's expression. "What are you talking about? This is the opportunity of a lifetime! I'm not going to run away from this. Half the Ponies would sell their mothers for an opportunity like this, and the other half would sell their souls. This is literally the best thing that has happened to us since... Hell, probably since Jingfei pulled us out of the Arcology."
 
"Yeah, Jingfei pulling us out was a great thing. So why are you so eager to go back?" Willow demands. "What is it you want so bad that you want to go back to that place?"
 
For a moment, Ash just stands there, unable to assemble the maelstorm of conflicting emotions inside her into a single, coherent statement.


Then she decides to simply go with what comes to mind. "Proper medical care, Willow. No more nasty second-hand medibots and gropy street docs. A house where the roof doesn't leak, in a part of town where I can go outside without a fucking breath mask and rad counter. A real education!" She warms up as she speaks, some of her previous enthusiasm returning. "I want to learn things, other than how to dodge creepy go-gangers with wandering hands. We'll be able to go places, see things. We can't even take the bus today! We can earn a living, a real living, working on real equipment that doesn't give you a headache after you've been two hours in sim. And we wouldn't be living in an arcology - we'd be in a free-standing apartment complex, with direct subway access and reliable Matrix connections."


A look at Willow's face makes her heart sink again, and her voice breaks slightly. "Anyway, what's the big problem? It's a scholarship. Nobody will be forcing us to live on-campus. We could live here, give the stipends to the community. Maybe we can even piggyback some of our people into the medical center for checkups, or take them along to the public jackpoints on a guest chip. It's not like we're selling our firstborn into slavery, or bartering away our immortal souls."
 
"Yes it is, Ash! That's exactly what you're doing!" Willow insists. She sharply casts her hand out to one side, gesturing to the ruins of the office around them. There among the crumbling desks and the dragon's bones lie the victims of the great wyrm. Skeletons, bound to the old factory by chains made of digital cash accounts. "Sure, it's a good deal now. As in right now." She sharply points at the floor. "Today. But what about tomorrow? You're going to earn a living? What happens when they invent a skillchip that can do everything you do, better? Because that's going to happen. It might take another ten years but it'll happen! What happens when there's a drone that can do your job? What happens when they decide to give AI another swing?"


Willow's hand strikes the top of the desk, producing an echoing bang, her fingers digging deep groves in the metal as she pulls her hand away. "Then you'll back on the street! Only with a ton of debt and a SIN on file. Assuming they don't just grind you up and sell your organs. Companies don't have citizens, they have human assets. You're a terminal to them, and when you get old or outdated? It's right to the scrapyard to rip the precious metals out!"
 
"Oh, I'm so sorry, Willow," Ash snarls, disappointment turned to anger disfiguring her face. "I forgot the part where God looked down upon your SINless life, and was so impressed that he absolved you of the need to eat!"


"You know what, Willow?" Ash turns on her heel and strides out the door, before she realizes that she still has Willow's contract in her hand and stops. "I'll take my chances against drones and skillchips and shit. Because it beats scraping by by the skin of my teeth, waking up every other night to the screech of some of this old drek falling apart, hoping against hope that it's gonna be fixable - or at least non-essential. It beats having to look over my goddamn shoulder every time I walk past a pig-wagon, to make sure I don't get nabbed by some badge with a quota to fill!"


Ash lets the contract drop to the floor. "I want to live, Willow. Not just survive. So fuck this drek, I'm leaving." She turns away. "You can come along anytime," she shouts, as she storms down the stairs.
 
Willow doesn't shout back. For a time, she doesn't say anything, standing there in shock. "You're leaving?" she asks to Ash's retreating back, and Ash is well into the stairwell before she finds it in herself to utter another words. "Fine," Ash hears, carried down the stairwell. Willow runs out the door after her, stopping at the top of the steps, her hands on the railing. "Fine! Go ahead, abandon everyone who ever gave a shit about you!" She doesn't chase Ash as Ash flees the building, muttering a quiet, "I hope it makes you happy."


Ash doesn't see Willow leave. She just hits the bottom step, ducks under Jingfei's waiting arm, and bolts back through the common room. She reaches the entrance, swings back onto the ladder, and runs back out into the streets.


Abruptly, Ash's eyes open. She sees the cealing of Mark's room. Tan patterns on the walls. Orkish art. Mark, asleep next to her. Her heart is racing, her eyes are wide.


Just the nightmares again.
 
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