Fandom Tale of Two Survivors { The Last of Us 1x1 with icedthemoon }

[EquineGurl23]

Alexander Brennan
Former Seraphite | 19 | Current location ;; North Dakota

Alex had been lost in thought once again as he pondered what he'd just said. Would he stay with another group? Why? He'd fought to get away from Washington, why would he go back? The answer was simple yet incredibly confusing to him. In short answer, wherever Nate was, Alex wanted to be. Why that was, he had no idea. It was almost like there was a draw from him to Nate. Something that he didn't understand connected the two of them in ways he had no idea about. Alex heard Nate speak, no? Did Nate not want him there?

Alex felt a weird sense of hurt at the comment. Why? They were supposed to be part anyway so why would it hurt to hear that. The rest of Nate's words started filtering in his head. He felt Nate pull away slightly, but it seems it was just far enough so he could look at Alex. Alex listened, he knew the answer to the question but he didn't know how to word it. How do you tell someone you met a few days ago that you didn't want to leave their side ever. "I would, I'm sure the Fireflies need someone who can climb trees." He joked. "I doubt my people would care much about the people you are going to" He added, and how wrong he was. "Where would you want to go?" He continued, watching Nate with a curious expression.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Nathaniel Matthews
Former Firefly | 21 | Current location ;; North Dakota

“I-“ but the words were nowhere to be found. Nate could not process what he was hearing from Alex, what that could possibly mean, his own entangled emotions and questionable judgements, and just how much his heart was beating. So fast. So fast there was no way that Alex was not going to notice. Because they were right there. Right there. So close.

Part of him wanted to run. Slither his little body out of Alex’s grip and move as quickly as he could as far away as possible. Maybe, if he were all alone, he could work out whatever was going on in his mind. Maybe if he didn’t have Alex there to jumble everything in his brain, he could sort through his thoughts and come to some sort of rational decision. But the other part of him hated that idea. He hated being the guy who ran away. He hated not facing a problem head on. He hated not being here. With Alex. Alex who forgave him when he absolutely did not have to. Who did not just accept Nate’s past but wanted to share in that burden.

Where else would he go? What else would he do? If the Fireflies weren’t there, what was he going to do? The thought was too much. If the Fireflies weren’t there, then Ben and Max died for nothing. If these people who absorbed them weren’t going to work to save the world, he had nowhere else to go. “I don’t know,” he finally answered, almost whispered, staring at the space in between objects. His mind was clouded by images of everything he would have to accept as loss if this didn’t work out. “But they’re going to be there,” he insisted. Convincing himself. “They’re going to be there, and I’m going to be- I’m going to-“ His breath caught as he tried to bring it together with words that could be conveyed. “It has to be for something.”
​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Alexander Brennan
Former Seraphite | 19 | Current location ;; North Dakota

Alex could feel Nate’s racing heart, it was matching his own heart. His mind was whirling as he wondered just what Nate was thinking. There were so many emotions that Alex didn’t know how to process. It was like the world had stopped around them. The sky was darkening and Alex felt far from tired.

“I believe you. I know that they’ll be there. I have a good feeling about this.” Alex wasn’t sure who he was trying to convince either. Himself or Nate. “What do you mean? Has to be for something? Isn’t just being here, moving forward and finding them, is that something?” Alex asked softly. He still didn’t understand just exactly what the Fireflies were even trying to do. But then again raised in a religious group and stuck on an island, there wasn’t much he did understand when he really thought about it.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Nathaniel Matthews
Former Firefly | 21 | Current location ;; North Dakota

Nate felt his body slipping out of his control again. He wasn’t sure if he was going to cry or just flat out start hyperventilating or something. There were too many questions. Too many possibilities. Everything was ramming straight into his chest, and if he didn’t remember that he was sporting more than a his fair share of injuries, he might have thought that something else was wrong with him. And there probably was. What was wrong with him?

Breath, Nate. Remember to breathe.
He could hear the words of people who loved him. People he trusted to keep him safe. But also people he lost. Everyone he lost was for this cause. They were going to fix the world. That’s what the Fireflies were all about, right? He was going to find them so that he could save the world, and the idea that they could be doing all of this- losing all of his family and dragging Alex back to the place that hurt him most- made him feel like it might have been all for nothing. It couldn’t be all for nothing.

So he breathed. And he told himself to smile. Smile like you do, Nate. Smile because this was going to work. Alex who wasn’t even part of the Fireflies believes this is going to work. So he breathed, and he smiled, and he nodded because he believed him. He remembered why he was doing this. “Yeah,” he finally said. “Yeah I guess so. It’s just not… enough? I hate being so uncertain, you know? I want- no, I need this to work.” He wiggled his arm up so that his hand he rest on Alex’s chest. “And for what it’s worth, I would love if you joined us. We could save the world together. I know you’re not big on seeing how the world can be at peace, but that’s because we haven’t tried yet. We can find a way.”
​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Alexander Brennan
Former Seraphite | 19 | Current location ;; North Dakota

Alex had to keep reminding himself to breathe. It was something he’d been struggling with the moment he’d taken Nate into his arms. It was something that was hard for him to remember. He was concerned for Nate, he had been upset listening to him. Perhaps Alex should share a little more of himself? He didn’t like talking about his past. Trained to fight for her, to believe in her love, to do what had to be done, and to take a wife when he was of age. Produce another warrior for their cause, someone who could end up dead if the WLF ever made it to the island. He sighed softly.

His eyes drew to his chest when he felt a hand on his chest and he looked back at Nate. “I understand, certainty is a joy that is hard to find.” He said. His eyes widened when he heard Nate’s next words. “Then I will join you. While I may not quite agree on the world at peace, I will try to help.” He wanted peace, he wanted safety. He wanted Nate beside him. “It’s hard to believe in peace sometimes, I was raised to be a warrior, to fight and to win at all costs. It’s hard to believe that there is no fighting. Especially since if there is none, what would I do? I may not agree with it, but it’s all I know. It’s one of several reasons I left my people originally.” He said softly. He was giving Nate a chance to see his past. Nate trusted him with his, Alex should be able to do the same.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Nathaniel Matthews
Former Firefly | 21 | Current location ;; North Dakota

Despite everything, despite how ungodly emotionally spent that he was and how much he probably should have been more aware, he laughed. He laughed so hard that it shook his whole body, and that of course was a terrible idea since his whole body hurt. He winced in his smile but then just kept on laughing. Laughing because he was the kind of exhausted that had nothing to do with sleep. Laughing because he didn’t know anything anymore. Laughing because his whole situation was absurd, and if he were to tell the family that he lost what was happening, they would laugh. They would all laugh together, because even though Max and Ben were far more warrior like than him, even they could see how one might be sucked into this. They would never be surprised that this happened to Nate.

Once he was able to calm his sudden hysteria, he shoved a hand on his face, shook his head, and finally spoke. “You know what I think? I think that you were raised a warrior, and I was raised a scout, and together we’re gonna do something good. Your people wanted to fight all the time. My people wanted to fight all the time, honestly. Did you know they called us terrorists? Because we didn’t agree with the constant fighting of FEDRA. But they just wanted control. That’s not us. Not you and me. Just as soon as I can move again, we’re going to do something right.” For emphasis, he patted his hand on Alex’s chest once and rubbed just a little. Ended with a smile. A smile that didn’t say he was haunted. A smile that didn’t say he was avoiding the pain. Just a smile that said he liked what was happening. And he did. He really, really did.
​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Alexander Brennan
Former Seraphite | 19 | Current location ;; North Dakota

Alex didn’t know what triggered it, but all he heard was Nate’s laughter. It was infectious and he found himself laughing with him. It was as helpful as crying. Releasing all the inner emotions in a form of laughter. He saw the wince in his smile, but Nate kept on going. Finally the laughter quieted down and Alex regained his breath.

Alex listened to Nate, his eyes watching him as he talked. Terrorists? Not even the WLF had ever been classified as that to him. They were just out for power and control. “How can you say that? How do you fight years of training. Years spent learning one thing?” He asked. He felt the small rub on his chest after the rub and blushed lightly. “I guess we can try to do something right.” He added. Then he saw that smile, the one that was just Nate being happy. Alex found himself smiling back.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Nathaniel Matthews
Former Firefly | 21 | Current location ;; North Dakota

“You know how we fight that? We get up.” Nate, armed with his big goofy grin, wiggled his way out of Alex’s arms and haphazardly sat himself up. It was difficult, especially because they were a tangle of limbs and very, very close, but finally he was doing it. Nate felt like he could get away with this, because he knew Alex couldn’t stop him if he wanted since he was certain that Alex was a good person and was not about to do anything that was about to potentially hurt him. Alex the good person was going to complain probably, but Nate was feeling better, and therefore was practically unstoppable.

“We stop moping around. And by we, I mean mostly me. And you,” he put his hand underneath Alex’s chin to guide his gaze to his. “You’re gonna be happy with me. Okay? And to do that, we have to get up. Now, can I even do that?” This last part was mostly for himself as he began to test his limbs. With the physically and emotionally damaged self, it was going to be difficult, but he was determined. No more sadness! Sad people just created wars. No more wars. Just trying really hard to figure out what was the actual problem in his body.
​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Alexander Brennan
Former Seraphite | 19 | Current location ;; North Dakota

Alex looked at him and smiled, seeing him looking more like himself. He got concerned when he saw him wiggle out and sit up. "We get up?" Alex said, listening to him. It took him a minute to sit up, they were kind of tangled up. He didn't want Nate to hurt himself but he seemed to be okay. "Be careful Nate" He said, concern in his voice.

Alex looked at him as he said that they should stop moping around, him included. He wasn't expecting Nate to take his chin and bring his gaze to Nate's face. "I am happy, but I'll be happier if you'd stay down and rest" He said, watching Nate test his limbs. He felt a smile cross his face though as he watched Nate, somehow this man could brighten anything.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Nathaniel Matthews
Former Firefly | 21 | Current location ;; North Dakota

“No, you’ll be happier when we fix all these problems of my body.” He pushed himself up, mostly falling over but catching himself with Alex’s shoulder. “Okay, I got this. See? Everything is going to be great.” Since he was already mostly bent over, he paused to pretty his face to the top of Alex’s head. “But you have to stand with me now. Because I’m going to need your help.” And then he tried pushing himself up again. The rest did make the shock and adrenaline better, but he obviously had not healed yet. Eventually he was standing. Poorly. He was just barely balancing. “Now, we can’t fix the, um, scratches and what not, BUT,” he lifted the limping leg, “we can fix this kink. That’s what you wanted to do earlier. I can tell.” He put out his hand. “Come on, cutey, I can massage this out myself.”
​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Alexander Brennan
Former Seraphite | 19 | Current location ;; North Dakota

Alex nodded, he did agree with that. He watched as Nate pushed himself up, started to fall over before using Alex's shoulder to catch him. "Nate.." He started. He felt Nate's face on his and sighed. He watched as Nate did stand, although very poorly balanced. Alex stood up as well and walked over to Nate, though it wasn't that far to go. "How do I fix that?" He asked, then blushed hearing what Nate called him. "Oh okay, um, what's a massage?" He asked softly. Alex had never had one before, didn't know what it was called, or how to give one. He wanted to help Nate feel better, but he was clueless on how to do it.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Nathaniel Matthews
Former Firefly | 21 | Current location ;; North Dakota

Nate narrowed his eyes briefly, though continued to have his smile the whole time. “Are you telling me that your people never gave massages?” That was just appalling. How exactly did they even survive? “They are probably one of the best relaxants in the whole world. I mean, I know there are some medicines or whatever, but this is natural. Come here.” He shot out his hands and pushed them up to Alex’s shoulders. “Ideally this is done from behind, because you can get more coverage and better angles, but if you know what you’re doing,” he began to kneed his fingers into the shoulders, using his knowledge of the body to combat tension in the muscles, “you can do this anywhere. And you sir, have much tension. Massages are to get rid of that. And to fix problems such as tweaked nerves in my leg.” Which meant that he was going to have to stop with this massage soon if he was planning on making Alex do anything.

“Okay, so what I just learned was that you will be getting massages after this.” He pulled his hands away to fall towards one of Alex’s which is pulled to the back of his leg. “Up here, it’s all out of sorts. My knee is also struggling, but this will help. I can deal with the knee later. I can’t, however, get the right angle on the back of my leg. That’s where you come in. You fix my leg and then I’ll fix your shoulders. And also probably your back. You said it hurt earlier right?” This was the part where he remembered to stop talking and let Alex actually process all of those things he said so quickly.
​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Alexander Brennan
Former Seraphite | 19 | Current location ;; North Dakota

Alex tilted his head, seeing the brief narrowed eyes. "I guess so. I've never heard of them" He said with a shrug. His eyes followed Nate as he listened. He did make sure he was close enough to Nate when he told him to come here. Nate's hands went to Alex's shoulders and started to kneed his fingers into Alex's shoulders. Alex could feel himself relaxing into the touch. He was starting to like these massages. "I do? I never thought about that" He said. He hoped that he could help Nate's leg like Nate had started helping his shoulders.

"I won't say no to massages, that was nice." Alex admitted. He let Nate lead his hand towards the back of his leg. He felt Nate's leg under his hand and looked over at Nate, listening to him. He started trying to replicate what he'd felt Nate do to his shoulder. He used his other hand to kneed the back of his leg. He hoped he was doing it right, and he looked back at Nate. "I'm not hurting you am I?" He asked tentatively. He was nervous that he'd hurt Nate, not help him.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Nathaniel Matthews
Former Firefly | 21 | Current location ;; North Dakota

Nate tried as hard as he could not to laugh. The lack of knowledge and the pure innocence of Alex was just so stinking cute, that he was certain he was not going to make it. “You are doing a beautiful job,” he encouraged as he focused on the pressure. It was better. Understandably, Alex didn’t quite have it, and he did not blame him at all. So, he reached behind and gently pulled at his arm to coax it where it needed to go. “If we can tell the nerves to get their lives together-“ or just live with the fact that this kind of massage was still very good even if it didn’t do exactly what he needed- “then eventually we can get it to go back to normal.” He took in a deep breath as a good deep tissue massage like he needed was in fact painful but necessary. That was not Alex’s fault. “You’re next, monkey man. Can’t be climbing those trees when all your stress lives in those shoulders. If I allowed that, I would be a very bad medic.”
​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Alexander Brennan
Former Seraphite | 19 | Current location ;; North Dakota

He blushed lightly as Nate pulled at his arm to readjust him. Alex was glad he wasn't hurting Nate, and he added a little more pressure once his hand was moved to the right place. He listened to Nate mention that they just needed to get the nerves back together. Alex laughed a little at that. "How's it feeling?" He asked, watching Nate. He wanted to make sure that Nate was okay before they moved onto his shoulders. "If you're okay, we can focus on my shoulders." Alex said, looking at Nate.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Nathaniel Matthews
Former Firefly | 21 | Current location ;; North Dakota

Because words only did so much, in response, Nate slid his arms around Alex’s neck and slowly brought them to a hug. Clearly one cuddle was not enough for one day. Not when he was in a good and sappy mood. “Just about perfect,” he answered, smiling against his cheek. “After your shoulders, if we still haven’t keeled over from the mental and physical exhaustion, we check my shoulder. You know, the one that I’ve been avoiding, because it might be in dire need of stitches.” Then he pulled slightly away, placed one hand on Alex’s cheek, and said, “And I promise I will tell you everything from now on.” Even if they hadn’t been talking about it, mentioning shoulders, either of theirs, reminded him of it all. Now that he was feeling better, he needed Alex to know.

“Okay!” He suddenly clapped, ripping his arms away. “Now that the awkward part of this is done- awkward because neither of us could have reached that if I were sitting- I’m going to plop back down on the floor now, because I hurt like the dickens and I don’t want to anymore.” He laughed and then dropped like he did before just to pat in front of him. “Give me your shoulders.” He reached up his hands, beckoning him to him.
​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Alexander Brennan
Former Seraphite | 19 | Current location ;; North Dakota

Alex hadn't been expecting Nate to slide his arms around Alex's neck and bring them into a hug. He blushed hard at the contact. "G- Good" Alex cleared his throat. He wasn't expecting the stutter either. "Sounds like a plan. We do need to check your shoulder Nate." Alex agreed, hoping it doesn't need stitches. He watched as Nate pulled away, but he placed a hand on Alex's cheek. Alex covered Nate's hand with his own hand. "You better" He said, looking at him.

Alex blinked as Nate pulled his hand away and clapped, his arms moving away too. He could only watch as Nate said that it was awkward, and it had been at first. Alex had quickly gotten use it, and it made sense for him to help Nate since he couldn't reach it. He watched as Nate dropped to the ground and patted in front of him. Alex smiled, sitting down back to Nate and nodded. "Should I take off my tunic?" He asked cautiously.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Nathaniel Matthews
Former Firefly | 21 | Current location ;; North Dakota

Nate bit at his bottom lip, refusing to acknowledge just how cute it was when Alex blushed. Well, okay, so it was acknowledged, but it wasn’t something he would allow himself to think about. Or the stutter. If he thought about it too much, he was going to start doing things specifically to make that happen. And if he started doing that-

Tunic? That pulled him out of his thoughts. He was not expecting the question. Did he need to take off the tunic? No. It was not necessary at all. But Nate kind of liked it off. He liked to look at the scars, tracing them sometimes. He liked to run his hands across muscles. He liked the contact. So, no, it was not necessary. “Yes,” he answered like the terribly professional medic that he was being. Thank goodness Alex was facing away, because Nate could feel the heat rising in his cheeks. He did not blush easy. He did not have enough shame and embarrassment for that. And then because he was entirely too impatient for this, he ran his hands across the edges to help the process along. Who needed shirts anyway? In fact, since he was going to be silly about this, he took that upon himself to just do and toss aside in the goofiest way possible before beginning the massage in his shoulders. “What exactly do you do to not be so tense and stressed?”
​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Alexander Brennan
Former Seraphite | 19 | Current location ;; North Dakota

Alex had been waiting patiently for a response from Nate, when he heard him say yes. He could feel Nate's hands running across the edges of it. Alex had been about to pull off his tunic when Nate did it for him. Alex blushed again, thankful he was facing away from Nate. He bit his lip as Nate began the massage in his shoulders. It felt so good, even if it was a little painful. "Um, what do you mean?" He asked, confusion lacing his words. He didn't mean to even be tensed and stressed normally, but in a world of survival? It was a constant struggle between stress, tension and trying to survive.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Nathaniel Matthews
Former Firefly | 21 | Current location ;; North Dakota

“So you just live this stressed and tense all the time,” Nate answered for him, working at the meeting of shoulder and neck. “That sounds like a terrible way to live. We’re changing that. You don’t get to suffer now that you’re with me.” That statement held a lot of weight. You don’t get to be this kind of tense anymore. You don’t get to be scarred purposefully anymore. You don’t get to be persecuted for being you. And as he massages, sometimes he got distracted and his hands fell down the shoulders to the tops of his arms or the top of his back. He might as well use this sudden canvas. He could pretend that was what it was.
​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Alexander Brennan
Former Seraphite | 19 | Current location ;; North Dakota

Alex was quite content with this massage. It really made him feel relaxed, and Nate definitely knew what he was doing. "I guess so? I've never thought about it before" Alex admitted. Which was true, he'd never thought about it because it was something he didn't even consider. "How do you plan on stopping the suffering?" He asked, it was a broad question. How does one stop suffering for anyone or even anything? He could sense the underlying statements from those words. He felt Nate's hands falling down his shoulders to the top of his arms or his back. Alex was perfectly okay with that, his entire body was relaxing and he loved it.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Nathaniel Matthews
Former Firefly | 21 | Current location ;; North Dakota

The question was reasonable. How did he plan on stopping the suffering? By keeping him. That was the answer that immediately popped into his mind. Nate would keep him for the rest of his days. But that was not exactly something that was so easy to say. So instead he answered, “well, for starters, I will battle your tension every day if I have to.” Because that was good of him. Very medic of him. Professional of him. Not at all anything like he just wanted to be close and also touch him. No, of course not, why would he ever be like that? “And then,” his hands trailed down to scars on his back before fingers moved up to shoulder and up neck and rested just below scars on his cheek, “I don’t let you be around people who would treat you like that. Not ever again.”
​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Alexander Brennan
Former Seraphite | 19 | Current location ;; North Dakota

Alex smiled as he felt the tension melting away. He listened to Nate as he talked. Alex blushed more, hearing his words and letting them sink in. "I'll let you battle the tension, I can't do it myself" He said with a laugh. That was true, Alex couldn't give himself a shoulder massage, especially not the way he was able to do it. He felt a shiver down his spine when he felt Nate's hands travel down to the scars on his back, then they moved back up his shoulders, up his neck and resting below the scars on his cheek. He could feel the sincerity in his next statement. Nate would keep his old group away from him? "I'm going to hold you too that Nate" He said with a smile.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Nathaniel Matthews
Former Firefly | 21 | Current location ;; North Dakota

Nate let his hands drop, arms cascading over Alex’s neck and in front of his chest before his hands clasped together as he rested his chin on one of the shoulders. “Good. I need some accountability otherwise who knows what I’ll do.” He chuckled at himself, letting out a contented sigh. “But I promise that I will keep you safe. Well, safe ish. Safe from that. I can’t help you with other things. Clearly.” Because how was he expected to keep someone else safe if he couldn’t keep himself safe? He couldn’t. But he could patch someone else back up and also say no to people like whoever these religious fantastics were who hurt his Alex.
​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Alexander Brennan
Former Seraphite | 19 | Current location ;; North Dakota

Alex felt his hands drop, the arms moving over Alex's neck and clasping together in front of his chest. Alex blushed as Nate rested his chin on one of Alex's shoulders. "I'll definitely hold you accountable" Alex said with a laugh. That was such a big promise, though hearing the ish at the end made him feel better. He knew there were things that you just couldn't keep someone safe from. "I appreciate the offer to keep him safe." He said, leaning his head gently to the side to rest it on Nate's. He felt safe for the first time in years, safe and that he could be himself. Who he couldn't be when he was back with the Seraphites.​