Fandom Takano x Onodera [closed]

[ChibiMonkey]

He could just feel the others deep gaze boring into him, as if analyzing him and his words, and Onodera desperately looked anywhere expect Takano's eyes. Part of him hoped, internally begged, that Takano wouldn't ask any further. That this would be enough of a reply out of him as it had already been far more than Onodera had ever wanted to admit and confess. He'd only barely recently been able to accept and acknowledge his feelings he still had for Takano for himself, but the thought of admitting his love to the other was overwhelming, and terrifying. Despite back in high school when he'd easily and openly professed his love for the male, doing such a thing now was terrifying. The thought of opening himself up to the other again like that scared Onodera to no end, because he feared it somehow would end in the same heartbreak it had last time. The logical part of his mind forgetting about the part that what happened then was ten years ago, when they both were still very young, practically children, and that now they were both adults. They were older now, and more mature.

Every second of silence that passed between them before his attempted, indirect confession caused Onodera to spiral further into a bundle of nerves and anxiety. When Takano finally did speak up, Ritsu's eyes widened a bit in fear at the confrontation of his feelings for the other, and even more so as he felt the others hand on his chin, directing his face to force him to look at the other. Onodera's heart was panicking in his chest as he pounded heavily, quickly. Honestly if it were for the physical contact keeping him focused and attentive, Onodera thought he might have passed out with the increased pounding in his chest. Staring up into the others dark, demanding eyes, Onodera gulped thickly, opening his mouth to speak, though he honestly wasn't even sure if he was capable of words in that moment.

"N-" he started, his voice clearly shaking as it split off, eyes wavering slightly as he could practically feel the emotional tears daring to fill his eyes up. "N-no..." he finally croaked out, his voice so quiet as he stared up at the other that it probably would have gone unheard if the slightest of noise had even been made around them.

 

[jezobel]

As Onodera fought to speak, Takano kept pinning him with his gaze, their faces close together. When that one, small word passed the other man's lips, it was as though a suppressive demon had been exorcised, and fled the room. Weight Takano had never realized he was carrying slipped off his shoulders, and he reflexively breathed in deep, freed. He wasn't lying. After all this time of him denying it and avoiding the subject, Takano had a hard time believing it, but he wasn't lying, wasn't running. He thought he'd be happy, jubilant, but what he felt instead was a relief so intense it squeezed his chest, and left a dull ache over his heart in its wake.

"Ritsu," he breathed before he even realized he was doing it. The use of his given name was a slip of the tongue, a relic from their past. He released Onodera's chin, and instead brought his hand up to brush gently at the tears that were forming in Onodera's eyes. He put their foreheads together, and felt their breath mingle against his skin.

"Don't leave me again," he said softly, and it wasn't his ordinary, assertive tone, but the ghost of something more fragile, a request. "I miss you," he added after a pause, if possible even softer, quieter, yet something like happiness was detectable in his voice now. Realization was setting in. It had happened.

 

[ChibiMonkey]

Onodera could hardly even focus on how close the two of them were. Not that he wasn't aware - he was more than aware at how close their bodies were, specifically their faces. Yet he was just so overwhelmed with his own emotions right now, and this confrontation that he couldn't evade or escape, he could hardly think straight, hence the struggle to even find his voice when he was able to finally meekly answer the other with his confession of having never been able to stop loving him after all these years. Despite all his previous evasions and denials, Onodera was forced to confront his own emotions a lot over this past month, having Takano ignoring him yet being right in front of him all the same. It was that sort of feeling of almost being able to grasp something, having it so close, yet it feeling so far away. And through his confrontation of his emotions feelings, he'd come to realize, and admit even to himself that he did truly still love the other, and never had, even when he felt so hurt and humiliated that time Takano had laughed at him, he'd never stopped.

A few moments of silence passed between them after his admission to the other, causing his heart to pound even harder in his chest, and for Onodera to grow more anxious in fear that with how close the other was, he'd be able to hear it. When the other spoke his name though, it caused his pounding heart to skip a beat - or several - feeling his breath catch in his throat as he looked up at the other, eyes still meeting the others as he felt warmth spread through him at the simplest of actions, like the way the other so kindly and gently brushed his forming tears away, and pressed their foreheads together...the kinder side of Takano that Ritsu was able to detect in him even when no one else could, just like back in high school even.

Hearing the others next words, they were much softer compared to his usual demanding tone. Rather, it sounded more like a plea of sorts. And Onodera knew exactly what Takano was talking about. It wasn't just leaving him alone, and disregarding his feelings again that he was talking about. But he knew the other was also likely talking about last time...that their relationship had crumbled apart so bitterly. When Ritsu had just up and transferred schools and everything without a word after that night. Biting his lip, all Ritsu could do was lightly nod his head in response.

Shaky hands reached up, gently grasping onto the front of Takano's shirt as he ducked his head, his chin no longer captive by the others hand. Though rather than avoiding the other or turning his head away, he leaned it forward, until his forehead was gently leaning against the others chest between his hands that were grasping at his shirt, as though afraid he would crumble apart to peices if he let go of him, as though this would all be some sort of joke and not real. "Takano-san....I..." he trailed off weakly, voice shaking as he struggled to find the confidence to say what he wanted to. Though he knew that if he didn't say it now in this moment, he likely wouldn't ever find the confidence again to say it.

Pressing his face a bit closer and more into the others chest to hide it, though the tips of his ears gave away how red his face was right now, his voice was quite and muffled as he spoke.

"I love you."

 

[jezobel]

Reality was still catching up to Takano, a little at a time. He had been running a marathon in impenetrable fog, and had realized only moments before that he'd finally passed the finish line.

Onodera spoke the words that had up to that point only been implied. Takano didn't say a word, just wrapped his arms around Onodera, pulled him close, dug his fingers into Onodera's hair with one hand, leaned his cheek against the top of his head. A warmth was spreading from his core, he felt as though he was thawing, slowly, from the inside out.

There was a voice in the back of his mind that warned him this was too good to be true, that there was no such thing as happy endings, and if he didn't reign himself in fast, he would simply set himself up for disappointment. More than disappointment, he would be back at rock bottom, repeating his college days. The first time had marred him enough as it was, who knew what a second time through that hell would do to him.

But at that particular moment, those thoughts didn't matter. They seemed distant, trivial. The sheer force of his happiness and relief worked as a talisman, temporarily erasing any negative feeling. Besides, he was used to such thoughts, those voices were always with him. They made him who he was, just as much as the defiance of them made him who he was.

"Come home with me tonight?" It was a question, but it was obvious from his tone that he didn't expect a no this time.

 

[ChibiMonkey]

When the other had hugged him close, Onodera felt a surge of warmth swell up inside of him as he clung to the other, and it wasn't just from the physical heat radiating off of the others arms that were wrapped around him. There was something more, deeper to it than just the physical warmth on the outside, and Onodera couldn't help but notice that he suddenly felt incredibly light, like some huge weight inside his chest had finally been lifted from his heart. Holding a bit closer to the other, the light-haired male embraced the warmth and feeling, accepting them as he was no longer running away, or trying to hide. Aside from there being no point to it anymore, he found he didn't want to either. He didn't realize this could feel so...freeing, in a way.

This couldn't be bad, right? They were both older now, and a lot of time had passed....this would end up the same way it had last time. This had to be a good thing, Ritsu continually tried to assure himself in his mind. While he no longer was trying to hide or run, there was a nagging part of his overly conscious and paranoid mind that worried this would ruin him somehow in the end. If it somehow turned out the same as last time...Onodera wasn't sure if he would know what to do, let alone if he could handle it.

So for now, he tried now to dwell on such things, further reminding himself once again that things were different this time, so things were going to turn out differently too. This was good. Closing his eyes, Onodera's nervous body melted into the others embrace with the warmth that filled him up, closing his eyes as he was able to relax, his senses full of nothing but Takano. His scent, his touch, his voice - everything was about Takano right now, and with his newfound verbal confession, Onodera found that he loved this feeling.

Hearing the others question didn't fluster him as much as it would before, and part of Onodera couldn't help but wonder why. Was it because he didn't have to worry about hiding his feelings anymore? Or running away from the other and frantically trying to come up with some lame excuse? He had to admit, it was nice not to have to immediately consider such things. Though, the concept of going over to the others tonight and the underlying meaning and implications that the others words held were still embarrassing. Still, Onodera found he couldn't refuse the other, though, he wasn't so sure he wanted to, as he simply nodded his head lightly in response, unable to speak the words.

After a few more moments like that and relishing in the immense warmth and comfort that Takano's embrace provided him with, they were suddenly interrupted by Kisa's energetic voice as he rounded the corner into the office space having returned from lunch, letting out a long whistle at the sight before him - though, it wasn't really the two men, but rather the mess surrounded Takano's desk from when he had abruptly stood up to grab RItsu and keep him from running away from the conversation, which left his chair knocked over and the piles of papers that had been on his desk in a strewn about mess all over his desk and the floor surrounded the two men. "Jeez, what's with all this mess?" he whined a bit with a sigh "I walked in and got scared thinking it was hell week or something and I totally missed my deadlines" he muttered as he looked at the mess, as it very much resembled just a small portion of what their entire office space would resemble during the last week of their cycles with all the deadlines.

Kisa's interruption had snapped Onodera back to his usual more flustered self, his eyes widening at the sudden realization. They were still in the office. Dammit, how could he have forgotten something so important? Flustered and face dusting a deep shape of red, he quickly let go of Takano and instinctively moved to back up away from him, though, considering the other previously had him pinned to the wall, that's exactly how far he got as his back collided against the wall directly behind him.

 

[jezobel]

It took perhaps a split second too long for Takano to fully grasp that the loud, distracting noise invading this very personal occasion was Kisa's voice. It took another split second too long before what he was saying started to catch up with Takano, as well. His mood, that a mere moment ago had been soaring, was quickly coming back down to earth. He sighed to himself, mentally preparing to face mundane reality again.

Onodera was letting go of him quicker than someone dropping a hot potato to avoid finger burns, so Takano simply let him slip through his hold - and immediately heard the awkward thud as Onodera bounced off the wall behind him. A tired frown was etching itself onto his face already. He rested his hands on his hips, and turned languidly on the spot to face Kisa.

"Stuff falls over sometimes, it's nothing to get worked up over," he began in a sort of monotone drawl. He let a beat pass, then added in a louder, more authoritative voice, "and if your sense of time is that flimsy, you really will miss your deadlines, so sharpen the hell up!"

He treated Kisa to his customary glare, then looked back over at Onodera. "Tonight, then. Now, if you were planning on eating something this lunch break, you might wanna get a move on. Go on, get going." He put a hand at the small of Onodera's back, and gave him a nudge towards the door as he spoke. He then knelt down on the floor without another word, and started methodically stacking the fallen files lying at his feet.

 

[ChibiMonkey]

While Takano seemed to hardly care at the interruption to the moment and more specifically encounter the two of them were in, so close to each other and with them each hugging onto each other, Onodera however was more than response. He quickly tried to pull away from the other as though that would avoid in Kisa having seen the two of them like this, the flustered panic of a voice running around in his head instantly at the interruption. How long had Kisa been there? What had he seen? What would he do if it got around the two of them were together now? Well....wait, is that what they were? Ritsu himself didn't even know what was going on between them anymore at the moment. And oh god...what if Yokozawa heard or saw? He didn't even want to think about that outcome.

In his quick attempts to move away from the other and create some distance between them, he only succeeded in colliding into the wall directly behind him, his face heating up an even darker red in embarrassment as he could practically feel Kisa's gaze on them.

"Oh-, Onodera is with you? What are you two - " he started to asked curiously as he tilted his head, not having even see Ritsu's smaller frame until he had moved, but his curiosity and mischievous intent to tease the two was cut short when in an instant Masamune's cold and strict tone was back ordering him around, causing the male to straighten up "Y-yes sir!" he quickly ducked his way to avoid any further scolding as he took his seat at his desk.

Onodera was snapped out of his nervous thoughts when he heard the male's voice directed back at him and the soft nudge of his hand on the small of his back "O-oh, right" he cleared his throat awkwardly, before quickly exiting the room. Though it was more to just calm down and get his emotions in check rather than eat anymore, finding he was no longer really that hungry with all the nerves and emotions bundled up inside him right now.

The rest of the work day had continued on as normally as possible. Despite the confrontation and admission of feelings earlier that afternoon, Onodera stayed in his own small cubicle desk and focused on his work. Though while he was effectively getting work done, part of his mind couldn't stop thinking about Takano, and the way he'd agreed to go over to the others place that night.