Fandom Takano x Onodera [closed]

[jezobel]

Onodera wasn't lagging behind. He rarely did, always somehow finding enough drive and dedication within himself to carry him reasonably unscathed over any hurdles his professional life threw his way. So, as Takano had come to expect, Onodera wasn't lagging behind, but as far as Takano was concerned, that alone was far from a praiseworthy achievement.

It was already pitch black outside. The rest of the Emerald editors had either gone home for the day, or rushed off to meet with one of their authors, leaving Takano and Onodera, not entirely unexpectedly, as two of the last few stragglers on their office floor.

"Onodera, what's taking so long? We approved that story board already. If you're going to stay behind this late, at least do something useful instead of agonising over stuff that's already been decided on."

Takano leaned one shoulder against the door frame, his usual, steely gaze resting on Onodera's seated figure. A can of freshly purchased vending machine coffee rested blisteringly hot in the palm of his right hand. It was of course his responsibility to hound his editors, and it was especially his responsibility to hound his noob editor particularly mercilessly, however he'd be lying to himself if he didn't acknowledge the ulterior motive nesting in the back of his mind at that moment. After all, there were no immediate disasters or encroaching deadlines preventing him from spending a few hours relaxing that evening, and there sat Onodera, the one person capable of taking Takano's mind completely off of work just by being close by.

"You're free, right? Let's get some take out for dinner at my place tonight," he added after only a brief pause. He said it casually, some of the normal severity of his work-place tone evaporating from his voice. Even as he said the words, however, he was already expecting either rejection or evasion. But this was not the night to give up too easily. Tonight was too good of an opportunity for quality time to pass up, and he was growing rather tired of Onodera constantly trying to slip through his fingers.

 

[ChibiMonkey]

Sitting at his office space, while it was neat and organized, there were books and papers everywhere as he immersed himself in his work and his own personal research for his job. He was staring over a manuscript from his author that had just recently been approved. And of course everything was run through Takano, so Ritsu knew that it had to be good if that kind of man had approved of it, though of course it wasn't without some edits and suggestions of his own. While he was learning the ropes of manga editing rather quickly, he still had some ways to go until he was at Takano's level - though, as to be expected. Ritsu couldn't deny the man's keen eye for attention to detail and talent he had for editing. Of course...that didn't mean Ritsu enjoyed working with him any more than he ever had before.

As if on cue, the mans haunting voice snapped him out of his thoughts, causing him to jolt slightly as he lifted his head from the papers to look up at the stoic male standing by the doorway as he was questioned why he was still there, and of course, making another jab at his efforts of his job and skills.

Trying not to let it get to him, Onodera averted his gaze away from Takano's piercing eyes, which seemed to make him lose reason and logic every time without failure. "I know. I just wanted to go over it again. I'm still pretty new at this so I want to make sure I can tell apart why some story boards are approved rather than other options" he explained as his eyes fell back onto the papers in front of him, though his mind was far from analyzing it at the moment. Takano's presence never ceased to put him on edge. And one of the many reasons for that was...

"You're free, right? Let's get some take out for dinner at my place tonight,"

His persistence. Definitely his persistence. Of all the things why did he have to be so stubborn about trying to get to spend more time with him, seeming to grab at any chance he got to spend with him that wasn't work related. Couldn't Takano take the clear no and leave it at that?

Well....then again, he supposed he never really ever had said 'no'. Or if he had, not very clearly or confidently. He typically tried to avoid such confrontations, coming up with whatever plausible excuses he could grasp at, or changed the topic. But Takano was just as persistent as Onodera was evasive.

"o-oh, yeah? Well um, I think I'm gonna stay here for a bit longer so you should just go ahead and eat without me. B-besides, I have some leftover food back home I want to eat before it expires and I have to throw it out. Wouldn't want to waste it, you know?"

He couldn't let himself get sucked up into Takano's words again. Honestly....being around him was a terrible idea. Takano was without a doubt bad for his health. Or...more specifically, bad for his heart. At least during the work hours, and surrounded by others, he could forget about the more personal matters at least mostly, since he did take his job very seriously and tried his best at it and everything he did with work. Even if manga was not where he really wanted to be originally...he'd started to grow a fondness for it. And despite Takano being his boss, and just several feet away from him most of the time at work, Onodera was able to focus on his work, while a good excuse of a distraction not to focus on Takano, it was also productive.

 

[jezobel]

Takano let Onodera's reason why he was still pouring over the story board drift past without comment. It was exactly the kind of persistence and dedication to improving himself that he had come to expect from him. Not only was it why Takano, the editor in chief of Emerald, knew that Onodera, the noob editor, was capable of doing this job despite his inexperience - but it was also one of the many things Masamune, the isolated workaholic with a sparse personal life, saw in Ritsu, the very nearly long lost love of his high school days.

When Onodera had first been hired at Emerald, it was that same drive and passion, laced with Onodera's own brand of pigheadedness, that had first reminded him of why he used to love him. And, as it happens, after some adjustment to Onodera suddenly being back in his life, it was what had first resuscitated that love. Onodera might be a little clumsy at times, a little bit off the mark here and there, but he compensated with sheer force, a kind of reckless talent for living that Takano himself felt he probably lacked, on the whole.

Ah, and there it came, the foreseen rejection, framed by Onodera’s usual, flimsy excuses. He tapped one finger impatiently against the top of his can of coffee a few times.

"If it’s so close to going bad, you should just throw it away. No use risking food poisoning for something like that," he said, matter-of-factly.

He pushed himself off the door frame, and took a few languid steps forward to stand next to Onodera’s chair. He rested his eyes on the page Onodera was looking over, the lines of vivid red ink that marked corrections harsh against the otherwise hastily sketched pencil drawings.

Being this close to him, and without any prying eyes in the vicinity, Takano allowed himself to act on his own immediate impulse and touch Onodera, placing a hand on his head.

”You know, if you don't stop turning me down with lame excuses, I'm eventually going to have to resort to kidnapping." He said it in a low, musing sort of voice, and although it had to be a joke, something about the bluntness of the words, and the unchanging, serious expression on Takano's face also managed to make it sound ever so slightly plausible.

 

[ChibiMonkey]

A few seconds of silence had passed between them after his weak excuse to try and avoid any more time alone with Takano than necessary. At first, Onodera thought that meant he was in the clear, and his excuse had worked. The other understood and would leave him be, even if only for tonight, just to be back at it tomorrow or something. But that was a small step of success in Onodera's mind. Though, those hopeful thoughts of his successful excuse vanished when Takano instead stated how he shouldn't eat the food and throw it out anyways.

"What?" he frowned a bit as he looked at Takano's with his insistence of stubbornness, letting out a sigh "Things have expiration dates for a reason. It would be waste to throw it out if it's still good. Besides, I heard somewhere that most things can last a few days longer than their marked dates if stored properly" he said with a shrug of his shoulders, not really realizing that in his attempt to argue against Takano's attempt to shut down his excuse and his own stubbornness to validate his food was good to eat, he'd just pointed out that he likely didn't really have to eat that food tonight anyways and it would be good another day or two.

Somehow he never seemed to win when it came to Takano, and he just huffed a bit, turning his back to the other as he turned back around in his seat to face the papers once more "A-anyways" he redirected the conversation "You should just go ahead and eat" he further persisted, trying to make his point clear, not noticing the sound of Takano's feet closing in on him and getting closer.

When the other suddenly placed his hand on his head though, he tensed a bit in surprise, his eyes widening slightly, though still glued forward at the space in front of him. Though despite the paper being in front of him, all he could think about was Takano, and his large, warm hand on his head. He gulped a bit nervously as he could feel his heart skipping a few beats at the mere touch, and as simple of a gesture it was too. And something about the others words sent a chill down his spine - not necessarily a fearful one, but...a sort of feeling that was telling him inside that he knew Takano was likely being serious at least partly, if not entirely.

With his heart beating loudly in his chest, he bit the inside of his cheek before snapping out of his flustered gaze, quickly swiping his hand above his head and pushing the male's hand off his head with some force.

"Stop joking around!" he huffed with a slight glare at the other "I'm going to finish looking this through at home. See you tomorrow" he huffed, quickly collecting the papers off his desk and turning on his heel to round out of the office. If Takano wasn't going to leave him alone here, then he would just leave himself, and go home. Though, as he turned out the door, he paused in his tracks as he'd just remembered a very important detail.

They were neighbors. They had the same route home. Cursing over in his head at the sheer unlucky coincidence he had of all the apartments he'd moved into recently to be the one not only in the same apartment building as Takano's, but of all things right next to him, he mentally grumbled to himself. There goes his hopes of a quick escape from Takano the second he left the office.

 

[jezobel]

He was less than surprised at the response he was getting, and wasn’t visibly reacting much, although he would have preferred it if he could have kept his hand in Onodera’s hair for a bit longer. But, he let Onodera push him away, careful to adjust for the recoil so he wouldn’t spill any of his scolding coffee anywhere untoward. Once the can of coffee was secured, he let out a soft sigh, then just watched Onodera bluster past and huff it for the elevators. He wasn’t bothered about running after him, knowing if he didn’t make it on the same elevator, he’d most likely find him at the subway, or, worst case scenario, he’d ring his doorbell later tonight. So, allowing himself to take his time, he instead walked over to his desk and picked up his bag and jacket before following.

As luck would have it, he caught up just as the elevator doors were about to slide open. Not wanting to give Onodera the chance to worm his way out again, Takano placed his hand at the shorter man's lower back, and pushed him inside.

”Considering we’re already this close to the deadline,” he said as the elevator doors closed behind them, ”it’s rare for me to have this much time to slack off.” Takano’s hand travelled from the small of Onodera’s back, and snaked its way around his middle. He pushed his chest against the other man’s back. ”I want to spend it with you.”

He would perhaps normally back off for a while after being rebuffed like this, but tonight he was feeling quite relentless.

 

[ChibiMonkey]

When Takano wasn't instantly behind him after he left the room, Onodera was incredibly relieved. He couldn't stand to be around the other. And not because he disliked him. Quite the opposite, in fact, even though he would never dare admit that now, not even to himself, contrary to how blunt and open his high-schooler self had been. But he was completely different now than he was then. Though Takano affected him now just as much as he ever had, regardless of the ten year gap in time and distance from each other. It was because the way his hand felt on his head, the way his voice sounded ringing through his ears....the way he became so easily flustered and foolish in his presence....that was precisely why he couldn't stand to be around the other. Especially alone. It was because he knew Takano had such a control over him and his emotions, whether Takano himself knew that or not, that Ritsu knew he couldn't trust himself around the other. If he let his guard down even for an instance he'd easily be swept away by the man. And Ritsu was determined to not let that happen.

As he reached the elevator, he glanced back behind, with no sight of Takano there, Ritsu quickly pressed the button on the elevator. Repeatedly. And quickly. As though that would encourage the elevator to arrive faster, and allow him to get on and close the doors before Takano caught up to him. A few moments later, the doors opened and he sighed in relief, only for it all to instantly wash away at the sound of Takano's voice right beside him. "O-oh, you know what I think I left-" he started, coming up with a weak excuse of having left something in the office to try and get out of being trapped in the elevator with Takano. But it seemed the man was already expected his sorry excuse and was quickly ushering him onto the elevator, and despite the layers of clothes between his back and Takano's hand, where it rest he could feel his skin burning under the sensation.

As he heard the door click shut behind them and the elevator softly being to move, he bit his lip as he could feel the other stepping closer to him, his breath hitching a bit in his through as he felt shiver run through his body at the movement of the male's hand snaking around his body, and the heat of his firm chest pressed against his back. His heart was pounding in his chest he could hear it in his ears with each pulse, gulping nervously as he ducked his head and flushed face in fear the other might see it, even though he was standing behind him.

It took him a minute, but he shakily gathered his voice as he tried to hide his nerves and how much the other was affecting him. "I-If you have that much time you should catch up on sleeping. You know we won't be getting much of it when the deadline gets even closer. You should spend your time better than it being with me."

 

[jezobel]

He leaned his cheek against the top of Onodera’s head, for the moment simply enjoying the feeling of not being pushed away.

Takano of course had limited experience with concepts like 'family' and 'home'. The words themselves lacked much more than a mechanical definition to him, they were simply the names for hypothetical concepts, or social conventions. Concepts and conventions that made sense in other people's lives, but perhaps not so much in his own. But there was something about catching moments alone with Onodera like this that felt like ducking in under cover during a storm, or crawling under a warm blanket in freezing weather. Just Onodera's presence worked on Takano like a talisman, providing a barrier of protection from the outside world. Perhaps this wasn't exactly what 'home' was supposed to feel like, Takano wouldn't know. Perhaps he and Onodera wasn't like 'family' exactly, he wasn't too sure. But feeling close to the other man like this, he felt like he could understand better what those two words meant, or what they could mean.

Now, if only he could figure out how to make Onodera more comfortable around him, so these moments wouldn't have to be so brief, or feel so stolen.

”There's nowhere else I'd rather be than with you.” Takano murmured the admittedly rather florid words softly into Onodera's hair, lingering in the moment... but then he added in a much more blunt, direct tone, "But you have a point. After dinner, we should catch up on sleep, too. It's been to long since we shared a bed."

Takano reached out the hand holding the coffee can to press the button for the ground floor on the panel next to them, and the elevator started its smooth descent.

 

[ChibiMonkey]

It was the rare moments like these that Takano managed to sneak in close enough to him, that all of Onodera's defenses started to fall apart. Feeling the other so close to him, the warmth radiating off his body, the comforting touch of his hands...it was enough to make Onodera forget why he was trying so hard to keep his distance from him. Yet at the same time, it was for this exact reason that was the reason he needed to keep his distance. Because he knew this is what would happen the second he let his defenses fall, his walls keeping Takano at a distance would start to crumble, and he would struggle to try to put the pieces back together.

He was still having a hard time fully recovering from what happened ten years ago. It was something so small, and a simple misunderstanding that was so simple, yet to Onodera it had been incredibly significant, and sent his fragile, beating heart crashing into a million pieces. He'd done well to move past all of that and pick himself back up. But that was so much easier to do when Takano wasn't physically in his life anymore. But it was hard to suppress the memories and pain that came along with them with Takano constantly in his life, let alone his never ceasing attempts to get them back together. Even being so bold as to say he would make Onodera say he loves him again.

And then there Takano went, saying such stupid things. There's nowhere else I'd rather be. His words echoed over in his head, causing his cheeks to darken a bit more as his heart skipped another beat. He really wasn't sure how much more of this his heart could take. The emotions inside of him were on overdrive, and it took all of his strength not to let himself get sucked into Takano's sweet words and his embrace.

Thankfully, Takano's next blunt words helped Onodera to keep his head about him. His eyes widened with his suggestive words, face instantly lighting up a dark red all they way up to the tips of his ears. "Quit joking!" he snapped as he turned and shoved the other away from him, ruining the embrace that his heart so desperately was yelling at his mind for interfering with "I'm not sharing a bed with you! And knowing your head you're probably thinking up some disgusting thoughts that aren't just 'sleeping'!" he huffed as he glared at the other, clearly very much flustered "And I never agreed to have dinner with you still!"

 

[jezobel]

For the second time, Takano found himself preventing Onodera from spilling his coffee as the other shoved him away. "Oi, careful," he muttered. He put his lips to the brim of the can, mostly to clean up some stray droplets that had landed there, and took a sip of the hot liquid.

Takano rested his steely gaze on Onodera's obviously blushing face, watching impassively as he was yelled at. Part of him would have liked to shut Onodera up with a kiss, but he didn't act on it. The fact that Onodera's constant rejections were stemmed firmly in denial may have been as obvious as it was frustrating at times, but he had his limits. He couldn't just keep taking matters into his own hands all the time. Like this, he was putting himself up for rejection by Onodera, over and over, which didn't discourage him exactly, but still wasn't his idea of a fun time. But most importantly, he was also always running the risk of pushing too far, of assuming too much, and of genuinely hurting Onodera in the process. In short, something needed to change.

"I'm not joking," he said finally. "If you need me to repeat it, I'll keep repeating it for as long as it takes for you to believe me." There was a brief pause in which Takano searched for eye contact, before he continued. "I love you. I want to spend time with you." He spoke clearly, directly, with his usual brand of blunt, grounded honesty. "Do you believe me?"

 

[ChibiMonkey]

Onodera had once again completely ignored the can of coffee in the others hand, as well as the others comment regarding it and being careful. Onodera always had been a pretty clumsy person, often making a fool of himself in some way or anything in some clumsy mess. He just sighed a bit as he watched the other clean up the lid of the can and sipping away whatever had spilled and collected there, and Ritsu took that moment to take a step away from the other, creating a slightly more comfortable distance between them, even if it was only slightly.

Hearing Takano state seriously that he wasn't joking, Ritsu just frowned a bit as he glanced back at the other while he continued to speak. He wasn't expecting his next words though. As the other bluntly confessed his love for him, Onodera's cheeks which had just started regaining normal color, started to heat up all over again as he grew nervous under the others direct gaze and confession, averting his eyes a bit anxiously. How was he supposed to respond to that? He couldn't just reject such an open and vulnerable statement like that, especially....especially because it was from Takano. But he couldn't bring himself to admit the own feelings he had that he was still in denial over, and refused to admit were still there, and as strong as they had been ten years ago.

Sighing heavily, Onodera glanced away from the other awkwardly "H-how could I not believe you....what kind of idiot just say's something like that so openly..." he muttered, despite knowing he himself had been said idiot all those years ago. And that's exactly what he thought of himself still for the way he so childishly wore his heart on his sleeve and confessed his love to Takano like he had then. It was because of his childish idiocy that he ended up getting so hurt. "Look, Takano-san I....." he started to trail off nervously, his emotions almost getting the best of him. But as if on perfect timing - or perhaps the worst timing depending on the individual, the elevator's motion came to a stop, a soft ring emitting from it as it reached the ground floor and the doors open.

Eyes widening as the arrival snapped him out of his emotional state, causing him to realize what he'd almost just said and done, he quickly turned around "O-oh, look! We're here! We uh, better get going" he cleared his throat, an awkward laugh forced out of his lips as he quickly ducked out of the elevator and headed towards the front doors of the building.

 

[jezobel]

It was more of a relief to Takano than he first realized it would be to hear that Onodera believed him. Not because he didn't think Onodera knew that he loved him, but because he had half expected for him to try to deny that, too. He couldn't help but be happy that he hadn't tried to deny it. This felt like a starting point, something to build on.

At Onodera's quip, Takano's mind immediately conjured up the mental image of a much younger Onodera, standing in the library, bathed in the light of a bright afternoon sun, and randomly blurting out his feelings to Takano, who after all had been a complete stranger at the time. He didn't know if he wanted to laugh or facepalm, but somehow ended up settling for a soft huff of a sigh instead.

Then, to Takano's surprise, Onodera started to say something else. For a brief moment, he thought more ground would be covered during this elevator ride than he realistically could have hoped for... But then, of course, Onodera was saved by the bell. The small chime that played when the elevator doors opened, to be precise.

Takano frowned, and this time made sure to keep up with him as Onodera went off down the entrance hall.

"Hey, not so fast." He hooked his hand around Onodera's elbow to make sure he didn't run ahead too far as they walked. "It's rude to run off like that."

Cool autumn air hit his face as they exited through the front doors. He took another sip of coffee as they started down the road towards the subway station.

"So, do you love me too?" he said after a few moments, in a conversational tone that made it sound more like he was making small talk about the weather more than anything else.

 

[ChibiMonkey]

Quickly exiting the elevator, Onodera hardly waited for the other to leave it as well before he was on his way towards the doors of the building. Though he did pause in his step for the briefest of seconds so he didn't completely lose the other, despite his mind telling him he should. Also, knowing that even if he didn't try to wait for the other, Takano likely would catch him anyways. Or if he didn't, he'd likely still catch up to him while they would have to wait for the subway.

Flinching a bit when the others hand grabbed his elbow, he narrowed his eyes to a slight childish sort of glare at the other "I'm not going that fast. You're just slow" he huffed out in rebuttal, before further arguing "I'm not running anywhere" he muttered, despite running often being one of the best things he did, especially when faced with confrontations, as he had so clearly demonstrated ten years ago. Sighing a bit to himself, he pulled his elbow away from the others grasp, but this time being more gentle about it and not shoving the other off like he had been previously. He'd already accepted he'd have to deal with Takano the whole travel home. "Besides, if anyone is rude its you" he scoffed back at the other, looking back at him again "Forcing people over for dinner. Cornering them. Not leaving someone alone in peace. I'd say you're the rudest person I know" he huffed out almost childishly before looking back ahead of them as they continued in the direction of the subway.

He thought he might actually be in the clear for the time being. That their conversation would at least be relatively normal - mostly, anyways. As much as he could hope for anyways between the two of them. The other would forget they had been talking about love and feelings, and how Takano himself almost started opening up to the other about something before he caught himself when the elevator snapped him out of it. But then he just had to casually go ahead and asked if he loved him.

Onodera's face instantly started to flush again with his cheeks dusting a light but obvious shade of pink. "I-I never said that!" he instantly responded "Ten years ago was a long, and very different time ago" he muttered, though while he didn't give the answer Takano was likely hoping for - though also likely not expecting at the same time - he also didn't outright say he didn't love him. Even if Onodera couldn't admit to himself yet that he loved the other, he also found that he couldn't say that he didn't love him.

 

[jezobel]

When Onodera pulled his arm away, Takano relaxed his grip and let him go without trying to stop him or say anything. Onodera was saying some harsh things, but Takano barely seemed to react. Although being polite had its place in his professional life, he didn't really care about being called rude. He knew he could be harsh, blunt, relentless - and being called out on it, he could do little but shrug, and silently agree.

It had been a mix between remote, unfounded hope, and a desire to stir Onodera up that had had Takano ask if he loved him. It had been so close in the elevator, like it had been close before, but judging by how his tries to get Onodera to spend the evening with him was going, he wasn't surprised tonight wasn't the night. At least his words had caused Onodera to start blushing again in record time, which on the whole was both encouraging, and somehow endearing.

"Now you're running again," he said in a quiet, almost gentle voice. "It's ok, I'll keep waiting for as long as it takes." He put his hand on Onodera's head, and lightly ruffled his hair. As he continued, however, his voice was suddenly back to its normal, curt tone. "And if you don't want to eat dinner with me tonight, that's alright, too. I'll just have to wait until we have work to do together, so you can't turn me away when I come over."

At least no one could deny that he was self-aware.

 

[ChibiMonkey]

"I'm not-!" he started to argue when the other pointed out he was running away again, but his words stopped short when he heard Takano's next gentle words. With a blushing face, he ducked his head slightly as he looked at the ground, feeling the others warm hand back on his head again, a simple gesture that Onodera found he loved.

Dammit. He mentally cursed himself over in his head, shutting his eyes tight as he tried to get a grip of his pounding heart and his emotions. What was with the other? He never used to be so persistent like this...Back in high school he'd always thought the other was just playing along with his confession of love for him, humoring him, to say. He was never the upfront one about how he felt back then, like how he was being now.

And then just as quick as his gentle, sweet words had appeared, the other was back to his blunt self as usual, commenting how he'd just get him to spend time with him through work. He internally groaned a bit to himself. Really, was he never going to give up? Though, while Onodera wasn't aware of it right now, he would find that if Takano did ever give up on trying to get him back, he would be at a loss without the other.

Sighing to himself as they arrived at the station, Onodera got on the subway, easily finding a seat since it was rather late and most people had gone home already from their day jobs, so it wasn't crowded like it was during rush hours or anything like the. Lifting his gaze after sitting down, he watched Takano for a moment. Part of him wanted to ask why he was so persistent, but the better side of his mind stopped the curiosity from vocalizing, knowing that it would likely only lead to another ridiculous confession or something from Takano, and putting him in an uncomfortable situation that he didn't want to have to face.

 

[jezobel]

Once on the train, Takano sank into the seat next to Onodera and yawned. While taking a sip of coffee, he glanced over at the other man, only to notice that he was being stared at. He paused, returning the gaze.

"What is it?"

The eye contact was enough to make Takano's heart feel lighter. As most stolen little moments with Onodera, it served to insulate and bolster, recharge his batteries a hundred times better than his can of vending machine coffee could ever hope to. He couldn't say he knew what Onodera was thinking, but it didn't matter. His instinct was still to pull him in close, lace their fingers together, kiss him - but of course he knew better than to try.

And that, he decided, was the problem.

He said he would wait as long as it took, and he would. Takano was far too deep into this mess to even have the option to give in at this point. But the likelihood of the rejection he faced every time he pigheadedly kept on trying was simply too great. Unless he meant to build their relationship on a foundation of alcohol induced black outs, he had no chance.

There was no point in continuing like this when they were clearly on a car ride to nowhere. If things were going to change, he needed to go about this differently. He looked away from Onodera to take another sip of coffee, the potent, bitter liquid filling his mouth. Great. Now all he needed to do was think of some bright idea for a new tactic.

 

[ChibiMonkey]

As he had been looking at the other and spacing out a bit in thought while contemplating on asking Takano about his persistence, Takano's questioning voice snapped him out of his thoughts as he blinked a bit, face flushing as he realized he'd been staring "Oh uh, n-nothing" he quickly replied, averting his gaze away from the other as he turned his head to face forward. He was better off not asking the other, he figured. There was no point....if he did Takano might go on about still trying to get him to say he loved him, and talking about more ridiculous nonsense and other things of the like that just didn't make sense.

The rest of the ride was relatively silent, the two men seemingly lost in their own thoughts about the other sitting beside them. As the train slowed to a stop after announcing arrival at their station they got off at, Onodera got up, slinging his bag back over his shoulder as headed out the door with the other before they closed back on them and they missed getting off. The entire walk back to their apartment complex, Onodera occasionally stole glances at the other. Half out of curiosity, half out of nervousness. It was any moment now....with the nearing arrival of their destination to their homes which were right beside each other, he was expecting the others insistence and reminder to come over and join him for dinner. Perhaps even joking about sleeping together again. With every step they took into the apartment building, he was was more expectant of the others usual pushy behavior, if not verbally, then it wouldn't be a surprise to be physically dragged along the detour into Takano's room before he could make it to his own apartment.

But now here they were, each arrived at their respective doors, and Onodera paused with his key in the door, hesitantly glancing back over to Takano, expecting the other to at least make an attempt to get him to come over again, yet nothing come. "Well uh..." he cleared his throat awkwardly, since he was expecting to have to just run away from the other into his own apartment before he could be convinced otherwise to go with Takano - convinced, or forced, either way. "....see you at work tomorrow....Goodnight" he murmured, waiting another half a moment as if to give Takano the chance to say what Onodera was expecting, before the younger male ended up disappearing into his apartment, his door clicking shut behind him.

Standing in the hallway just by his door after entering his apartment and closing it, he waited a minute. Several minutes, actually. As though he was expecting something from the other still...maybe for him to call out to him, knock on his door, perhaps text him. But nothing came. And this just left the male confused as he kicked his shoes off and fully entered his apartment. Sighing to himself, he shook his head, trying not to let the confusion and uncharacteristic behavior of Takano's bother him as he got ready for bed that night, before eventually he soon fell asleep.

 

[jezobel]

Nothing, huh. Onodera was a terrible liar, that much hadn’t changed since their high school days. What had changed, Takano supposed, was the frequency Onodera attempted to lie in the first place. Lie or not, he let it slide.

The more he thought about it, the more he became convinced that switching strategies was his best option to get anywhere with Onodera. The question was what new strategy he would subscribe himself to.

The train trip went by rather quickly as Takano amused himself with considering some more ludicrous approaches he could take. He could easily conjure up several kidnapping ploys off the top of his head, some more elaborate than others. One in particular, involving a bogus publisher’s event, a swapped plane ticket, and an apartment in France as the final destination, was an old favourite of his. Of course, the point was to avoid pushy behaviour from now on, so he had to dismiss such thoughts outright. Faking his own death and staging the funeral was also an entertaining idea, but taking the required days off work to make it happen was obviously an impossibility in practice.

As they walked down the street towards their apartment building, Takano found his mind wandering towards more plausible options. Simply being less assertive seemed easy enough. To step back, and see how long it would take Onodera to come to him instead, could it really be that simple? He was far from convinced it would work, besides, every fibre of his being protested against the notion of staying away from Onodera.

On their way out of the apartment building elevator, against his better judgement, Takano finally gave in and made the decision to adopt this new, hands-off tactic. Takano glanced over at the only person he genuinely loved in the world, stomped on his desire to offer that dinner one last time, then looked away to unlock his door.

“Goodnight,” he said, and tried not to notice how Onodera was obviously waiting for him to take the initiative. He disappeared inside his apartment without another word.

The coffee can that had been so hot to the touch in the office, had grown cold on the way back. He poured the last of it down the drain.

////​

Takano was in a foul mood. Actually, he had been in a foul mood for weeks. It was almost a month since his decision to stop pestering Onodera to spend time with him, and it wasn’t getting any easier to deal with - neither for him, nor his co-workers that had to put up with him. He found himself routinely taking out his frustration on his editors, his contact at the printer’s, and especially Yokozawa. Takano refused to tell him what it was about, but there was little point in trying to pretend that nothing was wrong. Yokozawa had always been good at sniffing out Takano’s mood, and this was no exception.

If he hadn’t been so fed up with not getting anywhere with Onodera, he would never have considered something like this. It was a nuisance, one could even argue dishonest, since he was constantly stopping himself from speaking and acting. At least, that’s what Takano’s grouchy mood made him think.

Judging by how the other editors were filing out of the office space, it was probably time for a lunch break, but since he habitually worked through most of his breaks, he wasn’t paying any attention to the clock. He was clacking away on his laptop keyboard, trying to get somewhere with the pile of proposals he was hoping to work through that afternoon. He had dark circles under his eyes, and his eyebrows were knitted in concentration, or out of annoyance, or perhaps both.

 

[ChibiMonkey]

For the past month Onodera was left in complete confusion with Takano's growing abnormal behavior. He couldn't exactly pinpoint the very moment this change seemed to occur but Takano was....actually ignoring him. Well, unless it was specifically work related, of course. But otherwise the older man seemed to not acknowledge his presence in any way. At first Ritsu really didn't mind at all. In fact, he thought he would prefer this. But ever since the other had been ignoring him, he found himself at a loss for what to do. Despite having gone the previous ten years fine without the others presence nabbing at him to try and get him to spend time with him, now that he was here, and the other wasn't making any sort of motion for such things, Onodera was baffled. And what bothered him more about it...was the fact he minded. A lot, in fact.

Had he been told before, while Takano bothered him all the time that the older male would be leaving him alone, Onodera otherwise would have thought he'd be elated. And the first week or so, he was. He thought it was a great thing, Takano was finally giving up on him, he thought. He wouldn't have to worry about his love coming back for him, and risking opening his sensitive heart back open to the other. He didn't think he could do something like that again. But...

Then why exactly did it annoy him so much the other was ignoring him?!

And another thing....Takano was in an increasingly foul mood lately. Onodera himself was too oblivious to realize and connect that the others foul mood was actually attributed to the fact he was refraining from talking to and touching Onodera more than he had to for work. Of course, Onodera also could have no way of knowing that the others lack of interest in him lately wasn't because he actually had a lack of interest, but rather was just another ploy and attempt to try and get Onodera to come around to him - more specifically, to love him again. Of course...while previously Onodera would never admit it, not even to himself, he never actually had stopped loving the other.

But now with the others lack of shown interest in him anymore, Onodera was forced to confront his own emotions about this whole situation. At first it was his confusion. Then it was this lonely sort of feeling that came along with Takano's absence. And then it was the annoyance.

Sighing to himself, he dropped his papers in his hand back onto his desk as he leaned back in his chair. He couldn't even focus anymore on basic tasks at work. Glancing over to Takano who seemed to be shrouded in a dark aura that warned everyone to stay away from him where he sat at his desk, his eyes suddenly snapped up to Kisa hearing his voice snap him out of his own distracted thoughts, mentioning something about lunch. "Huh? Oh....yeah" he mumbled, watching the other then leave the office, which then just left Takano and himself in their office space.

He wasn't sure what to do....should he just ignore the other still? But Onodera honestly was growing increasingly frustrated and bothered by the lack of attention he was getting from Takano. And he was a bit concerned for the others foul mood lately too. Had something happened? Hell week with deadlines was over, so they could actually relax a little bit now. At first Onodera thought it had been because of the deadlines, but even with those passed now, he still seemed as cranky as ever.

Suddenly making up his mind, he stood up from his chair with confidence as he then headed over to Takano, pausing a moment in front of his desk before speaking up "...Everyone's already left for lunch. You should take a break and eat something too, Takano-san."

 

[jezobel]

Takano wasn't expecting to be spoken to. Onodera's voice cut through his focus, and he completely lost his train of thought. His fingers stopped dead on the keyboard halfway through a typed sentence, and he shifted his gaze from his laptop screen to Onodera. The sleep deprivation was obvious on his face, but even worse was the murderous frown.

He just looked at Onodera for a moment. Hidden behind Takano's immobile expression, an inner struggle was taking place. Part of him was secretly elated that they were speaking at all, and even though it was definitely too early to jump to such conclusions, he was immediately wondering if this infernal new approach of his was finally starting to pay off. However, his stronger impulse was exasperation at how long it had taken Onodera to strike up even a casual conversation that wasn't strictly work related.

Due to his already lousy mood, his frustration won out and got the better of him.

"Since when do I take lunch breaks?" Takano questioned with something like a growl in his voice. He looked back down at his laptop and added dismissively, "I'll eat when I have time."

 

[ChibiMonkey]

He wasn't surprised by the dismissive irritation in Takano's voice, nor was he really phased by it. At least not this time, anyways. Normally when Takano was like this, he and the rest of the team were afraid to even be sharing the same office space as him, fearful that even a dropped pen could set the time-bomb that was called Takano-san off. But today, Onodera felt unusually stubborn and confident with the other. Though, maybe that stubborn confidence to speak to the other was derived out of his irritation of having been ignored by the other. While no one else would consider their current relationship to be one where Takano was ignoring Onodera...it was clear that he was, because of the fact their relationship wasn't usually even remotely a normal one, what with Takano always vying for his time and attention outside of work.

While normally he might flinch and cower away with apologies for intruding on his space when Takano was like this, the males dismissal of his presence only further irritated Onodera all the more. While he physically didn't express or look like he was a bomb about to go off unlike Takano, inside he very much was controlling himself not to just start ranting at the other for his recent behavior. He at least was able to keep half a mind about him to refrain his emotional outburst in the middle of their office at work.

Letting out a heavy sigh to try and calm the fire inside of him, he spoke up again after a moment "You look like you're about to drop-dead, Takano-san. You need to eat something." He pressed on with the other calmly but stubbornly. Seeing that the other was too grouchy to seem to care though - or at least thats what it appeared to be to Onodera, he came up with an idea he thought might work.

"Why don't you come grab lunch with me at the cafe across the street?" he suggested. The other used to always be asking to spend time with him, going out for drinks, or getting dinner together or something. Surely if Onodera offered to eat lunch with him, he might accept it? Especially since Onodera never before was the one to even think of suggesting they spend time together if it wasn't strictly work-related. But Onodera was getting a rather short fuse with the lack of Takano's presence in his life, and they way Takano was always professing his love, and saying he'd get Onodera to say he loved him back, yet then the way Takano just suddenly seemed to back out of his life like he never did actually care. It was all so frustrating and confusing to the younger male, and his patience was thin trying to figure Takano out anymore.

 

[jezobel]

Onodera's insistence that he eat something earned little more than a dismissive huff as a response. Takano was in too bad a mood to feel something as mundane as hunger. Him, needing sustenance to function? Ridiculous.

Takano busied himself with the unfinished sentence on the screen, trying and failing to remember where he had been going with it. Then, Onodera asked that bizarre, uncharacteristic question, and Takano once more lost all focus on his work to look up at the other man. Takano would have been lying if he said his heart hadn't skipped a beat, but he was also utterly convinced he had misunderstood, or worse, that Onodera was being insincere somehow.

Takano had many faults, but naivety could not be said to be one of them. Sure, he had hoped that this ridiculous new tactic of his would result in Onodera more willingly spending time with him, but this was too sudden, too direct to be real. He had to stop himself from jumping to unseemly conclusions.

"Hmh. What's this actually about, Onodera? If it's work related, we can talk here."

 

[ChibiMonkey]

Maybe it was a bit arrogant of him to think so, but he had almost been positive that his suggestion would elicit a positive response out of the male, and get him to come eat with him. What with how it used to be a constant offer coming from Takano, he didn't think the man would refuse the offer, coming from him out of all people. Maybe it was arrogant...no, he guessed it definitely was. But how could he not think that way with how Takano had been treating him? Had been, being the key phrase. Unlike how lately the other seemed to forget he existed other than as one of his colleagues and employees at work. Was that what it was, then? Did something happen to cause Takano to actually lose all interest in him? What had happened to his stupid speeches of making him fall in love with him again? Was that nothing? Had he-

Had he found someone else?

The thought crossed his mind and Onodera found it pained him to consider that. He knew....he was fully aware he had been the one previously ignoring all of Takano's advances, but that was for the sake of his own heart - it was better off if they didn't get involved again - for the both of them. Yet here Takano found himself unable to bear the thought of Takano with anyone else. Was it Yokozawa-san?

With emotions and nerves bumbling up inside him as he tried to figure everything out in his head like some mathematical algorithm or something, he found himself growing distressed, or rather, frustrated by Takano's response to his offer. Maybe Takano's lack of eating wasn't the problem here. Well, it was, but not the main problem that Onodera really wanted to face. He found himself biting the inside of his cheek at Takano's response, his cheeks flushed a bit both from embarrassment as well as frustration with the other. Why did he have to be so damn difficult?!

Frustrated and at his limits with this behavior from Takano towards him, Onodera found himself at wits end - much like how Takano was struggling with this new plan of his, even though it was his own plan to begin with. Yet while it was affecting the both of them similarly in a way, the difference was that Onodera was clueless as to the purposefulness of Takano's lack of attention given to him, therefore, Onodera didn't have any motivation or end goal keeping him from blowing that ever-growing short fuse of his. And it was just about to go off.

"That's the problem! Everything with you is work related!! That's all you care about is if it's work related between us! What happened to your goal of getting me to admit I love you?! You shouldn't make goals in the first place if they're so half-assed!" he finally snapped in frustration at the other, his emotions getting the better of him as he glared down at the man sitting in the desk. He was more than thankful that the office was pretty much empty at the moment due to the hour and everyone gone to eat or taking a break in the middle of the work day.

It took a moment, but after a few seconds of silence passed, his eyes widened to match his flustered face as he realized how terrible of a mistake he'd made. He lost his cool - specifically, at work. He just yelled at his boss. About his own personal feelings. Even if no one else was around to hear it, that didn't change the fact he'd just yelled at his boss in such a manner. And...in his slip of emotions, his word choice in particular scared him. When commenting on how the other was trying to get him to say he loved him in the past, Onodera had without even thinking about it, and with his emotions controlling his thoughts and words, had used the word 'admit' rather than 'say'. Implying that he did love the other, just yet to admit it out loud to him. Rather than Onodera's previous outright denials and refusal of acknowledgement.

Feeling his breath catching in his throat at the realization of all of this, his outburst, yelling at his boss, his words, his emotions.....he felt the panic starting to set in that often triggered Onodera's 'flight' response to these situations. "W-whatever I'm only worried about you eating because you're my boss. If you don't eat and pass out or something it will just cause a lot of problems for me and the others in the department too, y'know" he quickly blurted out to desperately and quickly try to change the subject, his feet already turning on his heels to escape the room.

 

[jezobel]

At first, Takano simply stared in surprise and confusion. He couldn’t quite believe the size of the outburst he was witnessing. Mentally, he was doing a double take, trying to fully absorb what Onodera was saying. He could sense how close Onodera was to confessing, and it was like dangling freedom in front of a prisoner. His heart raced, he wanted to grab for it, make it his. But that hint of his goal wasn’t enough to stave off how frustrated Takano felt at the rest of what Onodera was saying to him.

And then, of course, Onodera attempted to escape again.

Enough.

He ejected himself out of his seat, and made a grab for Onodera’s shoulder to stop him in his tracks. His office chair, clattering noisily, rolled into the wall behind the desk, and a stack of files tipped over to spill onto the floor between them. Takano didn’t seem to notice the mess he made, but simply tightened his grip into an iron fist in Onodera’s shirt, and pulled him back around to face him.

“You’re not running anywhere.”

He took a few steps past the pile of paperwork on the floor, and pushed Onodera’s back up against the closest wall. He closed in on the shorter man, put both his hands against the wall on either side of him to block any route of escape with his own body.

"What's half-assed here is you. Never committing, never speaking honestly. All you’ve done since you showed up here is push me away, and now you want to act as if I’m the one leaving you hanging?!” He spoke in a hushed growl, his eyes flashing with anger, his heart beating like a drum in his chest. "You wanted me to back off, so I backed off. Isn't this what you wanted?!"

 

[ChibiMonkey]

He had to leave. He had to get out of here before either one of them said another word. The seems that had stitched Onodera's heart together were starting to unravel and come undone, and he feared for whatever the next words that came out of his mouth might be. This wasn't good. He needed to get out of here and calm down before he said another word to Takano.

But of course, it seemed the male didn't have the same plans in mind for him, and he felt a tight grip latching on to his shoulder, Onodera's eyes widening slightly as within a second, he had been spun around, a chair clattering to the wall and to the floor, as well as an avalanche of papers scattering to the floor all happening in that split second. Onodera stared wide-eyed at the other briefly, feeling his heart racing in his chest with nerves and panic as Takano had rounded his desk to approach him further. Onodera instinctively took a step back from the other, as though that might save him, but then seconds later he felt his back hitting a wall a bit roughly, and he closed his eyes fearfully as he turned his head away from the others face, pinned in place. It was almost as though he was afraid he was about to get hit - Onodera knew that wasn't going to happen, yet, with Takano's face so imposingly close to his own in this moment, it felt all the same.

Onodera was cornered, and he knew that. Not just quite physically with the other had him pinned to the wall, unable to run away anymore, but Takano's words also cornered him, knowing that what he said was true, and he couldn't even try to deny them. He was the one that was always running away - pushing Takano away, and now here he was - what? Upset that Takano was actually listening to him for once?

Averting his gaze from the other as he looked off to the side, unable to look at him as he bit down nervously on the inside of his cheek, Onodera feared that the other could hear how hard and fast his heart was pounding with how close the two of them were right now, silence passing over them as Onodera was struggling to keep his emotions in check and from letting out another outburst at the other. But forced to face the other, unable to run away anymore, he was forced to confront his own feelings, here and now, despite how much he'd been trying to ignore them, especially when they became even more aware in the past few weeks while Takano had been ignoring him aside from work.

"Of course it is!" he snapped back at the other as he finally looked back at him, Takano's anger and frustration only fueling Onodera's own, and his emotions. His voice was loud as he snapped back at the other, but also shaking slightly as he could practically feel the seams on his heart tearing more, exposing it even more as he spoke, but it was already too late to try and stitch it back closed. "Because if you left me alone then I might actually be able to forget about loving you!" he snapped angrily at the other - angry because of how easily the male could make him such an emotional wreck and mess.

 

[jezobel]

Some of the anger cleared from Takano's face. Perhaps from surprise, perhaps from conflicting instincts, he reverted back to his usual, blank poker face, eyebrows somewhat furrowed. He studied Onodera, feeling unsure exactly how to interpret what he was hearing. It wasn't quite a confession, more like an admission, said in such a livid tone none the less. His more cynical half (which was saying something, because both his halves were pretty cynical,) was tempted to interpret it as Onodera saying he wanted to forget their relationship in high school altogether. His less cynical half on the other hand, in its supreme stubbornness, was much less willing to pay any mind to that line of thinking.

"So, did you manage it? Forget you love me?" he questioned, a mere trace of anger still left in his voice. He removed one of his hands from the wall to instead put the knuckle of his index fingers under Onodera's chin, and tilt his face up. He searched for eye contact, boring his dark eyes into Onodera's green ones. "Look at me. Tell me honestly."

Some things, Takano was counting on, never changed. Onodera was a terrible liar. He'd be able to tell the answer, whatever evasive crap the other would try to feed him this time. But he also couldn't help but hope that this was it, that they were getting somewhere, after so long of running in a circle at top speed. During the recent month or so of separation, he had run out of patience. His resolve was ironclad, however, and perhaps it was simply his horrible current mood, but he was just about ready to force Onodera to follow through and face the elephant in the room this time. Whatever means necessary, and whether he resisted or not.