Faith Eliza Cord
Four Thousand Club
The softness of May's tone, the the caring in her touch, is enough on its own to intensify Sheena's emotion, but the last of it...for her to tell her she's a good person. For her to tell her she's beautiful.
It's too much. It's too much, and it's not true...Sheena knows it's not true.
She has never been told this, either of those statements, for as long as she can remember. All her life she has been told that she is worthless, that she is a troublemaker, a liar, a thief, tramp, and any number of other labels that just made it clear that she was unwanted, unneeded, and that in fact, all would be better off without her there. Only girls her own age had ever liked ever, wanted to follow her, seemed to see worth in her...and what had she done to live up to it? Got them into things that had got them in trouble, got them into things that could have ruined their lives.
And beautiful...she had had people make comments all her life about her being too...something. Too tall, too thin, too sloppy, too boyish, too strange...sure, people, men and boys, had made comments about wanting her too, about her being hot or desirable or...but beautiful? Beautiful was so much more than that...no one had ever, that she could remember, told her with sincerity that she was beautiful.
And May thought she was.
Her tears coming harder now, Sheena turns more fully to May, not hugging her back, but molding into her hug. She is shaking as she tries to explain.
"No. No, I'm not. You don't know...what I've done. You don't know who I am...I'll...I"ll ruin you. I ruin everyone...everything...I always do. I wasn't...I wasn't supposed to be born...there's no place for me. There's no people for me...there's...May, I'm /nothing/."
(hm, wondering how they're going to get going. Police are coming and they need to move, Hood and Caroline won't know where they are though, I would assume, and I can't see her calming down fast enough to get moving, least not without help)
It's too much. It's too much, and it's not true...Sheena knows it's not true.
She has never been told this, either of those statements, for as long as she can remember. All her life she has been told that she is worthless, that she is a troublemaker, a liar, a thief, tramp, and any number of other labels that just made it clear that she was unwanted, unneeded, and that in fact, all would be better off without her there. Only girls her own age had ever liked ever, wanted to follow her, seemed to see worth in her...and what had she done to live up to it? Got them into things that had got them in trouble, got them into things that could have ruined their lives.
And beautiful...she had had people make comments all her life about her being too...something. Too tall, too thin, too sloppy, too boyish, too strange...sure, people, men and boys, had made comments about wanting her too, about her being hot or desirable or...but beautiful? Beautiful was so much more than that...no one had ever, that she could remember, told her with sincerity that she was beautiful.
And May thought she was.
Her tears coming harder now, Sheena turns more fully to May, not hugging her back, but molding into her hug. She is shaking as she tries to explain.
"No. No, I'm not. You don't know...what I've done. You don't know who I am...I'll...I"ll ruin you. I ruin everyone...everything...I always do. I wasn't...I wasn't supposed to be born...there's no place for me. There's no people for me...there's...May, I'm /nothing/."
(hm, wondering how they're going to get going. Police are coming and they need to move, Hood and Caroline won't know where they are though, I would assume, and I can't see her calming down fast enough to get moving, least not without help)