Fandom Squad Shithead: A Naruto AU

[Gilzar]

As Tetsuo situated himself to sleep, Mizu just stared at the fireplace. Shamefully she too would avoid looking at Tetsuo in an attempt to just put what had happened behind them. But as she sat there alone with her thoughts, recounting what had just occurred, a dreadful feeling washed over her. She anxiously dug her fingernails into her thighs, and bit at her lip so slightly at the embarrassing realization that Tetsuo had woken her up in the midst of one of the most frightening dreams she ever had. It hadn't even been five minutes since she woke up, and already Mizu was wishing she had been calmer when Tetsuo woke her up.

After an unknown amount of time, Mizu carefully peeked over her shoulder to look at Tetsuo. He was laying on his side, and it seemed unlikely that he was still awake. Once again Mizu found herself sighing in relief. This probably wasn't as big of a deal as she was thinking it was. She reached behind her and slowly pulled her staff out, balancing it on top of her crossed legs.

Mizu would spend the next hour shifting her gaze between the fire and her surroundings while listening to the rain come and go. The rain was steadily shifting between ferociously coming down, almost like a storm, to a calm drizzle that was almost relaxing to listen to. The genin did her best to try and look out of the camp at their surroundings, but the rain and the darkness made it almost impossible.

Although she did her best to maintain an attentive watch, the images of her nightmare would spill over from the back of her exhausted mind and distract her from her duty. Blankly she would stare into the fire for minutes at a time, just mentally walking through each scene she was forced to observe. Eventually she would snap out of it, and once again resume guarding the camp. After repeating this cycle countless times, the rain once again picked up and pelted the outskirts of the camp. Just as her attention was beginning to fade, she instinctively went through the motion of looking to her right side. As her gaze passed between Tetsuo and Katsuro, she noticed something in the shadow of the forest just outside their camp. Leaning forward, she tried to get a better look at what it could be. Something big and dark was veiled by the shadow. From where she sat it almost looked like a puddle...but it was moving?!

Mizu slowly raised herself to her feet. As she stood up, she slid her staff over to her left hand. Silently she stared out at whatever was moving in the darkness. Heartrate began to rise, pounding faster and faster as the possibilities raced through her mind over what it could be. Was it some kind of strange animal? Could it be the shadow of someone trying to sneak up to their camp? Still remaining quiet, Mizu glanced over at her teammates. They were all sound asleep. Only she was awake to deal with this.

For a moment she debated about waking up the others. But after thinking of what just happened with Tetsuo, she opted not to. The last thing she wanted was to have another potential overreaction. It was probably nothing...right?

Mizu pulled out her cellphone and walked to the edge of the camp, just to where the canopy above them ended. She flipped it open, activated the small flashlight, and tried to get another look at whatever could have been by their camp.

 

[Pine]

The moment Mizu aimed her cell phone's flashlight, the light bounced back at her, reflecting off of a pair of dark, beady eyes. The figure froze in its place, seemingly transfixed by the cone of light. Not only did her flashlight succeed in having this paralytic effect on the creaturer, but it served to highlight its reddish, straw-like hair, glossy from the downpour, and gave clarity to the edges of its form, allowing her to more easily identify the figure that stood before her.

It was a juvenile bushpig. Older than a piglet, and seemed to be in good health, but nowhere near the size of a fully grown adult. It stood with its hooves firmly planted, one leg forward, and though its snout still touched the forest floor, its eyes were staring unblinkingly at the light, and by proxy, seemed to stare back at Mizu.

For the moment, it seemed reluctant to move.

 

[Gilzar]

Surprised that something was actually in the shadows, Mizu instinctively jolted her body back at the sight of the young pig. She pointed the end of her staff at the boar with a firm grip to keep something between them as she processed the situation in a tired state. Realizing how young the pig was, and that it wasn't behaving aggressively, Mizu relaxed and lowered the front end of her staff to the ground. Quietly she shook her head. Of all the things she thought would be lurking in the shadows, a young brightly colored bushpig wasn't one of them. Although she didn't know much about wild pigs, she doubted one of this size posed much of a threat to the camp. For a moment she winced, imagining how bad it would have been if she had actually woken everyone up for this.

She was hoping that the pig would have run off by now. Yet it didn't seem too keen on moving. Both of them were now just awkwardly standing there. The only source of movement between the two of them was the cold, heavy rain pelting them with every second that passed. Not keen on waiting in the rain any longer, Mizu tried to get the bushpig to move.

"Go on, get out of here!" Mizu whispered loudly at the pig.

 

[Pine]

The juvenile pig seemed to snap back to life at the girl's harsh whisper. Mizu may have been able to see its jaw open, but if it made any noise, it was drowned out by the sheets of rain pounding at the forest floor. With a jerk of its head, the bushpig swung its torso around and took off with short, quick steps, before disappearing into the foliage.

Time passed, and from whatever angle Mizu may have chosen to keep vigilant for the remainder of her watch, the shift would pass without any other sign of fauna, save for the occasional beetle that scuttled past.

When it came time to wake Haruki to assume his post for the final shift, Mizu would find him in an unconventional position. The sleeping bag bunched all around him, his knees tucked up into his stomach, condensing his form. His chest was partially pressed to the ground, one elbow pointing out, and the wrapping over his head. His neck twisted, seeming to want to face to the side where his chest did not. Where his head lay, his mouth was pushed against his pillow firm enough to draw his lips some from his teeth. A thin, shimmer of drool trickled from the corner of his mouth.

When Mizu made to rouse him, Haruki woke with a jerk before his eyes snapped open. Instead of saying anything, he slipped out a groan and reached back to rub at the tender knot that had formed at the back of his neck.

Haruki knew exactly why Mizu had woken him. He remembered the forest, the mission, and Tetsuo's dumb suggestion that they take turns watching the camp. He knew that, since there was no commotion to be seen or heard at the camp, then Mizu could only be waking him because her shift had ended, and now it was time for his to begin.

In spite of this, he slowed the rubbing of his neck to a still and let his eyes slide shut again. He did not fall back asleep, but he hoped that Mizu would think that he did, and maybe out of some saintly corner of her heart, she would take pity on him and let him rest while she finished the job.

This was not the case, and after feigning ignorance over what it was that he was supposed to do, Haruki reluctantly got up to take his watch.

Haruki took his sleeping bag with him. Refusing to step out, he tucked the bag under his armpits and shuffled to a spot closer to the edge of their camp. The shimmying of fabric woke Tetsuo, who opened his eyes long enough to cast a glare over his shoulder, before he sank back into his arm and fell asleep once again.

Haruki came to a seated position with his legs crossed as best as he could within his sleeping bag. He kept his back to the fire and the rest of the group, tilting his head from side to side to work out the crick in his neck and as a means to keep himself awake, looking dutiful in case either Mizu or Tetsuo decided he couldn't be trusted to do his watch and were keeping an eye on him.

The watch was boring. The rain obscured any chance he had to be able to stare out into the forest. Haruki had placed some small hope in the odds that he might be able to catch a glimpse of some exotic creature now that it was nightfall, but either because it was too dark to see or because Katsuro's rumbling snores kept scaring them off, he had no such luck. He had to keep shuffling his position, too, because when he sat too close to the fire, the heat seemed to radiate from his sleeping bag and burn his back, but when he scooted away from the fire, the sheets of rain coming down may as well have been icicles.

Haruki waited a while before he felt confident enough to sneak a glance over his shoulder. Both Mizu and Tetsuo's heads were down.

Haruki fished his phone out of his pocket to check the time. Seven minutes had passed.

He closed his fist around his phone and knocked it against his forehead, holding back just enough that the small action didn't really hurt him. He knew it was a trap. He knew that every time he looked at his phone, even less time will have passed. He had just hoped that at least eleven minutes would have gone by when he looked this time. How long were these watch shifts supposed to be, anyway?

Still, with his teammates both asleep, or fast on their way to sleeping, Haruki finally slipped out of his sleeping bag and began the arduous task of keeping himself entertained enough to stay awake.

He began by padding around their small campsite in search of worthy sticks. He found where the perimeter lie that marked where the overhang no longer shielded them from the downpour, and instead the most enthusiastic droplets of rain still sprayed his ankles when they landed. A little rain to dampen exposed skin and make his leg hairs stick was a welcome sensation, but he didn't want so much collecting in his sandals and making his trek slippery or squeaky.

Sticking to the boundary's parameter, he stooped down to brush his hand over any sticks and twigs he could find. Beneath the heel of his palm, he would roll them back any forth to reveal their shape. The criteria for what constituted as a 'worthy' stick varied. For some, it meant having a funny little knob in the corner, about three quarters of the way up it—not too high, not too low. For others, it was a matter of structural integrity. Something that was thin, yet he would need both of his hands if he wanted to get a clean snap through it. Another might qualify because it branched off at the end, creating a strong 'V' that he could wedge his pinky between.

Once he had a good fistful, Haruki meandered back to the fire's light and plopped down on his belly. It was time to make his castle.

After wriggling on the ground for a bit, making sure he was in a semi-comfortable position, he dropped his stick collection on the ground and sifted through them. He selected the two strongest-looking sticks and held them against each other. The height difference was noticeable, but perhaps it could be used to create a unique architectural feature? He hoisted the two sticks in the air and plunged them into the ground, easily sinking into the soft earth below. Perfect. He picked a stick just long enough to cover the gap between them, and using the crook of the taller one to help stabilize it, carefully set the other end of the stick on the flat-ish top of the shorter. He repeated the process with another pair of sturdy sticks, managing to lay a third upon them with a little more difficulty than he had the first time. For his next move, he had to trim some stray offshoots from the stick with a kunai in order to make its end more flat, but he began to slot the stick between the midsection of one of the two pairs and...

A little too much force, and one wall of his stick castle came crumbling down.

Haruki planted his face into the ground with a groan. It was hopeless. Those were his prized sticks, the best of the best. If they couldn't hold strong at that stage, the rest of his fortress never stood a chance.

He abandoned his plans for his castle, including the mote, which he had been looking forward to carving into the ground and hoping the rainwater could somehow travel upward into their camp.

Haruki took out his phone to check the time again and regretted it immediately. Five minutes. He barely suppressed a groan, holding it in the back of his throat until it became just a low gurgling sound.

He rolled over onto his side and onto his feet. His next trip around the campsite, he only needed to find one stick, but a very, very long one. This was more difficult than he had been hoping for, as most of the tree debris found on the ground was twigs, or otherwise had been collected by Katsuro and Tetsuo in their efforts to stoke the flame. He wasn't about to go out in the darkness of the forest alone, least of all when it was raining like this, so he had to make do with what he could find in their camp. Eventually, he was able to find one stick tucked away in a dark corner that was not quite as long as he had imagined when he had set about in search of one, but he was tired and didn't have the patience to try to find a better one, and maybe it would work if he was careful.

Once again he returned to the fire, kicking over the final wall of his abandoned castle as he passed just for the simple fact that he could, then stuck his stick out just far enough for the edges of their campfire's flames to lick at it. At first, the stick did not catch. An unknown amount of time spent soaking in that cool pocket of the forest floor had fattened its bark with moisture. Seconds dragged by, turning to minutes. It was a test of will against impatience, and the conflict roiling within him was so fierce Haruki felt it manifest as a physical pain wringing his gut.

Finally, after risking edging the tip just a little closer to the fire, he saw the telltale glow at the end of it. Haruki pulled it back and allowed himself a triumphant, albeit quiet, chortle to himself. The stick's tip glowed a bright red, tiny, but it was more than enough to serve its purpose.

Haruki began to wave the stick around in the air, drawing loops, making waves. Wherever he spun it, the afterimage of the light created a bright arc that was mesmerizing to walk. Haruki marched around the camp, testing to see how quickly he could draw a dog face, then clashing swords with an invisible foe.

It did not take long for the light to fizzle out, and with it, the small bit of enthusiasm he had managed to muster with it. Haruki resigned to curling himself back up inside of his sleeping back, scooting it just close enough to the campfire. Half-heartedly, he tried to light the stick again, but the small loops he made over his head no longer did anything to thrill him. He had arranged himself such within his sleeping bag that he felt impossibly comfortable for such a thin material, nothing like the mattress he had at home, and he had positioned himself in such a way that the crick in his neck was barely even aching. Maybe it was the constant shush of the rain that made his head feel so heavy against his shoulder. Surely there wouldn't be any harm in him getting a little extra shuteye. No one else was awake to notice, and it wasn't like there was actually any real reason that they needed to keep watch. It was all stupid Tetsuo's idea, after all, and the idea had only taken because Katsuro was a paranoid old war dog. He would just shut his eyes for a bit, wake up when his arm inevitably fell asleep in a few minutes, then have plenty of time to be up and alert before any of the others could notice. Yes, this was a good idea.

With that decided, he rested the stick right next to him, where the flecks of ember quickly extinguished, let his eyes droop shut, then quickly fell asleep.

- - - - -

Haruki awoke with a jolt. He was not sure what exactly had awoken him, but he immediately knew something was wrong. The campfire had been reduced to a smoldering mound, and when he whipped his head around (regrettably, agitating the ache in his neck that was still present), sunlight filtered all through the gaps in the trees, catching on the scattered raindrops that pattered down from the foliage around them and the lip of the rock overhang. That couldn't be right. It had been dark and pouring just a few seconds ago.

Quickly, he kicked off his sleeping bag and scrambled to his feet. He had to come up with something fast. He couldn't let any of them know he had fallen asleep, and definitely couldn't let any of them know he had slept in.

Ignorant to the obvious marks on his cheek imprinted on him from his slumber, he looked to where the rest of his squad had been sleeping, cupped his hands over his mouth and shouted. "Hey! Wake up!"

Haruki did not bother to do a headcount, instead focusing on the immediate need for him to feign a casual air. He put his fists on his hips and began to chide in a totally-convincing-way, "I can't believe all of you slept through all that. I've been trying to wake you guys up for so long!"

He threw his head back and forced a laugh, hoping no one would catch onto how much of it was just nerves.

 

[Gilzar]

A wave of relief washed over Mizu once the pig finally ran off. Wild animals were always unpredictable, and she feared removing it would have caused a scene that woke the camp. Fortunately, it didn't come to that. For good measure, Mizu scanned the dark of the forest with her flashlight one last time just to be sure the wild animal was truly gone. Nothing. All that her cellphone light revealed was more empty forest drowned in water and shadows. For a time, she just stared out into it. There was something surreal about the ambiguity of their surroundings. The shadows and whatever they may have been hiding were dread-inducing. Yet the steady sound of rainfall in the cool night air and the cool temperature of the rock under her bare feet somehow mellowed out this feeling. It was oddly therapeutic.

Mizu wasn't sure how much time had passed by the time she started to shiver from being too far from the fire. She finally turned off her cell phone's flashlight and returned the sanctity of the campfire. Once at the campfire, Mizu set her trusted polearm on the ground next to her. She curled up her knees between her arms and scooted close enough to the fire to warm up. The rest of her shift was uneventful. Just Mizu sitting by the fire thinking about her life and fantasizing about futures that would likely never happen.

After what felt like an eternity her shift finally ended. Quietly, she shifted over to wake Haruki who had somehow fallen asleep in a position that didn't seem remotely comfortable. She stared in disbelief at the strange manner this boy was sleeping in. There was no way he was actually asleep...right? Her eyes narrowed and she peered over him to see if he was truly resting or just shutting his eyes. Unsure, she finally poked his side. Haruki jerked awake, ironically causing Mizu to flinch in an almost identical manner to how Tetsuo did a few hours back. Now that he was awake, Mizu just gave him a small nod and crawled back over to her sleeping pad. It took a while, but eventually the girl was able to get back asleep...

-----------

"Hey! Wake up!"

Katsuro groaned as he awoke from a dreamless sleep, courtesy of last night's drinking. Slowly his eyes inched their way open, bit by bit, trying to adjust to the light. Instinctively he reached into his vest and pulled out his sunglasses. Putting them on made adjusting to the morning sun much more bearable. He rubbed his hand against his head as he tried to get over his typical morning headache.

Mizu didn't wake as calmly as their sensei. She jolted awake from the unexpected awakening. Immediately she sat up and began rubbing her eyes as they adjusted to the morning light. After a long night, dawn had finally arrived. With any luck they'd get the hanging monk flowers...and see some elephants.

Katsuro slowly brought himself to his feet and stretched himself out. He began to slowly walk around the camp and take in the surroundings, but his body suddenly stopped upon looking in Haruki's direction. His jaw clenched beneath the hostile gaze behind his glasses.

"Haruki!" He snapped loudly.

Mizu once again jumped in surprise, her back having been turned to them as she packed her things. She stared over her shoulder at Katsuro and Haruki. What the hell did he do now?! Anxiety forced her weary eyes open as she remembered the new rule Katsuro implemented from the day before: If one gets punished, they all get punished. Dread filled her stomach as she watched the scene unfold.

"God dammit!" He seethed under his breath as he marched over. "Why the fuck did you let the fire go out!?"

Now close to Haruki, he saw the unmistakable handprint on his cheek.

"Oh, I see what happened...you've just been sitting on your ass all morning, haven't you?!"

He shook his head in disappointment. The kid couldn't even keep a fire going?! Just how sheltered was he?

"Now how am I supposed to make my coffee?"

The jonin returned back to his resting spot, and began to dig through his things while packing them into his bag.

"One of your jobs on watch is to always keep the fire going." He called out with his back turned to the group. "Even when the fucking sun is coming up! Is that understood?"

In just a few minutes of tense silence, everything was in Katsuro's bag except for a stained metal cup, his canteen, and a small bag of a standard brand black coffee. He brought them over to what remained of the fire and placed the cup in the ashes. He then poured a generous amount of ground coffee into the cup, then topped it off with water. Once in he began mixing it with a kunai knife, while focusing his chakra into the water to heat it up.

"Anyone want any while I'm making it? Otherwise pack your shit and get ready. We're hiking all the way there and back today."

 

[Pine]

The sound of shouting jerked Tetsuo awake. As the thought of danger hit him, he sat upright, scanning his wide eyes over the campground looking for someone of some beast assaulting someone, or someone collapsing to the ground in a seizure, or...

Instead what he found was Haruki, chest puffed up as he laughed aloud, exaggerating the expression in a way that people... simply did not do. A throb pounded his head, and he brought his hand to his heart where he felt it hammering against his chest. Steadily, as memory of where he was, what kind of idiots he had involuntarily found himself in company with, the fact that there was no apparent danger began to sink him. He forced himself to slow his breathing, taking as much air in as he could on the inhale. Eventually, his heart began to slow, and when it did, he was glaring daggers at Haruki.

Haruki was paying him no mind, though. Instead, his attention was locked on Katsuro, even as he was trying to look anywhere but directly as him. For a moment, he thought he had gotten away with it—having a single interaction with Katsuro where he didn't end up getting yelled at. From the corner of his eye, he saw Katsuro taking deep stretches, then beginning to amble about the campgrounds without a word. Maybe they could just move on and get started with their morning?

"Haruki!"

Haruki jumped at the sound of his name, eyes flying wide. As Katsuro rounded on him, he opened his mouth in protest. He definitely had been attentive on his watch the entire time. He had definitely been taking his role in the team seriously, and he had definitely absolutely did not take advantage of everyone sleeping to try to get some extra rest himself.

Thankfully, he hesitated, having Katsuro come up some close to him, and it gave him just enough time to register what had actually riled him up. The... fire...?

Haruki blinked, then looked over to where the pile of ashes remained, little more than trace wisps of smoke to make evident that they had ever held some heat at all. He was upset about the fire? Because he wanted to make coffee? He had never quite learned how to manage a few. Any opportunity he'd had to practice, he couldn't seem to quite figure out how to revive it, and the task would get passed onto another one of his more confident peers. Purely by accident, his inability to make and maintain a fire had completely flown under the radar. Not that it would have made a difference, because he wouldn't have thought Katsuro would've care about keeping it going once the sun had come up.

Regardless, getting cherry-picked over yet another one of Katsuro's weird unspoken veteran-of-war rules was much preferable to the alternative—getting chewed out over actually slacking off in opposition of Katsuro's direct orders.

So Haruki snapped his mouth shut, stood straight, clapped his hands behind his back and nodded briskly. "Yes, sir, Katsuro-sensei, sir. It won't happen again, sir."

Haruki watched Katsuro's back as he rumaged through his belongings, then cleared a path when he returned to set a cup over the ashes. Haruki did not need to think twice when told to pack his things. He scurried off to collect the various canned goods and other such items he'd left strewn on the ground. He felt peckish, and it may have been nice for him to have some omelets he had heated up, but now was not the time to ask to use the fire he'd let go out.

Tetsuo, meanwhile, had shut his eyes and started rubbing his fingertips into his temple. His eyes burned and his head felt somehow light from inadequate sleep, and while the headache that thrummed along his skull was far from the worst he'd ever had, Katsuro's shouting and Haruki's general presence did nothing to make it better. He grimaced, remembering the overwhelming bitter taste of the coffee he'd ordered while at the Takara's now-ruined estate. If the undoubtedly stupid-expensive coffee they'd made there had been gross, then whatever impromptu military ration-grade coffee in a dingy pot of a not-fire in the middle of a rainforest would be nigh unpalatable. Still, if he could stomach it, it might do something to ease his headache, and maybe do something to give back some of the energy he so desperately needed.

"Make me one too," he said, his voice barely carrying above a mumble and its tone deeper from sleep.

He did not have as much packing to do as Haruki. He'd made sure of this the night before, keeping his things organized, and soon, he had his backpack propped up on the ground and he was walking over to sit cross-legged by the ash pile with his cheek propped up on his fist, waiting.

 

[Gilzar]

Katsuro quietly gave Tetsuo's request a nod while he focused on brewing their morning drink. Haruki may have screwed up, but it could have been worse. The fire was still hot enough to heat up the water, albeit with the assistance of some chakra to speed up the process. With his current batch there would be just enough coffee for him and Tetsuo.

While their sensei was busy at the fire, Mizu collected the last bits of her gear and carefully packed them into her bag. She was tired, but Mizu was confident enough she'd wake up that she passed on their sensei's offer for coffee. As Katsuro and Tetsuo waited, Mizu took the extra time to prepare for the day. Like the studious shinobi she was, Mizu went through her morning stretching routine. It was a little awkward having everyone around to see her morning rituals, but she shrugged it off figuring that everyone felt that way.

After a few more minutes of patient stirring, the coffee was finally ready. Using the gloves on his hands to suck up most of the heat, Katsuro went over to Tetsuo and poured half of the batch into whatever container his student was using. The rest of it he would drink straight from the metal cup, once it cooled down.

Sipping what he could from his drink, Katsuro picked up his bag and slung it over his shoulders.

"Alright. We've got a lot of ground to cover today, so I'm going to carry my shit as long as you three behave. But so help me...if any of you act up, all three of you will be punished again. Understood?"

"Yes, sensei." Mizu promptly responded. The gear she was carrying on her back suddenly felt a lot lighter. Hopefully Haruki and Tetsuo would keep off each other's throats long enough to complete the rest of the mission.

Once everyone was ready, Katsuro began their trek back down the path and opened up the map to figure out their next steps.