Small Towns 1x1

[ROUX]

He did think before he did it, yes, who wouldn't have when they were about to try and off themselves? He wracked his brain for anything he could find, any reason he had at all to go on, and unsurprisingly came up with none. His life ever since his turning had been a lie - even if he hadn't realized it. And after Damon left everything was hell anyway, his first pack ripped from him, along with his rank. He had to give up his family because he didn't trust himself, or whatever had been after him at the time, and without Damon he was already left in a terrible emotional state - though not at all worse from the way he felt now. Hid parents thought he was dead, his sister actually was, and he had undeniably loved the man who'd caused it all. Or was it love? Had he let himself be pulled into the mind games beneath it all too? He didn't know if wolves could do that, really, but then he didn't even know what he himself could do. This....this would be a first then - he knew how tough he'd been as an Alpha physically. Omegas were much, much less - he doubted he could take a fall this high, and that was even if there weren't rocks he could hit below. He'd try it then.


He turned around, as if he was going to go back, away from the cliff's edge, but instead he was very prepared to do the opposite. He looked at Nathin, wondering if he should say something, anything. But there were no messages to give, and no one to receive them if he had something as such - why would he. Interesting. If he didn't come out of this, as he predicted, this one would be the last face he saw. It wasn't a bad face to see - at least this one was honest with him. His tears had stopped streaming, he no longer felt need to even bother trying to think around what he had inadvertently done - because this, this was his fault. No, he'd just punish himself, and be done with it in more ways than one. He steppe backwards, once, twice - and leaned back, feeling the ground fade from under his feet as he dropped from the ledge, closing his eyes and letting the harsh wind whip past his ears as he fell.


--------


"Go on then...might as well get it out of the way," Damon snickered, but really, he didn't think it was funny at all. No, he knew what he could loose in that statement, but he'd decided that if Quinton asked, he'd answer - truthfully, no matter what. There was no way to tell the other these things the way he saw it, but if Quinton inquired himself, he wouldn't lie about it. He had made that mistake and paid the price - in fact, he was still paying it, and he had simply avoided thinking about it. Of course, his former mate was probably doing worse than he was, which was Damon's own doing, but he'd thought it better than knowing the truth at the time. He had vowed not to make that mistake again, that is, if he ever got the chance to love again - and he did. So he wouldn't - and he would let Quinton judge him accordingly. Even if he lost the other, it's be better than having to be afraid that the other could never truly have feelings for him because Quin didn't know the real him. He propped himself up again, looking over the younger werewolf's shoulder, blue eyes shining even through the dark.

 

[BlueJae]

Nathin had been distracted up until the point of leaning back. Time slowed itself, it seemed, when his eyes followed the body down. It was a split second reaction, his decision was made for him and instinct kicked right in along with the adrenaline. It was around the time that Leo's feet actually left the cliff, no loner touching, that Nathin went straight after him. It was going going to be painful, yes, he knew that much but he hadnt been thinking about it when he'd hit the other. Had he jumped after any later he might not have been able to catch up with the falling body. He flipped them, latched onto Leon's back with a death grip so not to let him go, his own back faced towards the ground, which was accelerating towards them at concerning speeds. He shut his eyes tight, trying to focus on the sound of the air whiping past them, he could feel his wolf go into utter panic- they weren't meant for flying. But this was the opposite, now wasn't it? It might not have been much, but it would certainly keep the other alive and give him a softer landing. On the brighter side, barely brighter side, the added weight aimed them more towards the cliff's wall, to which eventually Nathin hit- his back torn up as the slid straight to the bottom. It was not a smooth ride for Nathin, multiple times he came into contact with bigger rocks jutting out of the cliff. It was only when he bounced that he knew they'd hit the ground, but by then he could barely feel anything. Once at ground level he let Leon go and he himself rolled until he stopped, face down, he was a gravely, unmoving, bloody mess. He could feel anything but his back limbs refusing to move, his vision fading out. His chest stopped, just like his breathing, whether it was the shock or the sudden tidal wave of pain, the air that had been flying right by had taken his breath with it, replacing it with an metallic taste. Blood, of course.


Quintin's eyes opened, he hasn't expected to have started asking now. Of course, it was probably better than doing it after he lost his senses and god knew he would. He did his best to think of one, though, his original question made itself know, surfacing above the rest. Before he could think his words through his mouth seemed to open on its own accord "How'd you become an alpha?" He knew that one could be born into it, like Nathin, but from what he'd heard, Damon had once been a part of their pack and whatever he reason was, one day he wasnt. He didn't have all the peices, and he was hoping to learn them, thus putting the puzzle together slowly. Or, however long it took, he assumed he was only allowed to answer so many questions so he'd have to pick his own correctly, irrelevance was not something to be tolerated now.

 

[ROUX]

Leonardo knew something was going to go wrong the moment he felt the arms wind tightly around him in the air, and his heart had dropped along with his body as he realized what had just happened. In fact, he damn well would have protested if it weren't for the fact that it was too late, they were both screwed - though now Nathin more than he. He felt the impact against the wall, heard the ripping of the skin of the other's back, every split second sinking in the guilt and fear before they hit the ground. Though Nathin did absorb some of the impact, it did nothing to shield Leon from feeling three of his ribs break, before landing on his arm the absolute wrong way, not to mention his head. He felt Nathin let go of him and wasn't able to look to see where he'd landed thanks to his own rolling. When the world stopped spinning and he could actually think again, the pain hit him. It wasn't enough to put him out, no, but it was just enough to make hi wish it was. It was terrible. Which meant...Nathin was doing about a hundred times worse...dear god what has he done?


Leo tried to sit up, and immediately stopped - it was like someone had taken a hammer to his sides - with both ends of the tool. Probably would take a couple of hours to heal fully, damn his slow Omega factors - but he needed to get to the other now. He got up again, unable to suppress the whimpers that he made while doing so, almost wanting to give up again when he accidentally tried to move his right arm. He stood, pushing with his left and standing on shaky feet as he limped over, following the scent trail - though even if that wasn't there, he could have just followed the blood. There was lots of blood, yes indeed. He prayed the other wasn't dead - he didn't think he could deal with that, not another death that he was responsible for. When he came upon the body, however, he couldn't be sure. He dropped to his knees in horror, reaching out to the other checking for a pulse. He gave up after a while, his hands were shaking too badly to find one and his eyes were flicking over the damage of what he'd caused. He could literally see parts of Nathin's spine, and the bloody mess where his skin was supposed to be was torn to shreds. Several broken bones, dislocations, and he didn't doubt that he had at least a serious concussion. He wasn't breathing. Leonardo reached for his face, his own mirroring the horror and guilt he felt, and touching it lightly. "Jesus Christ....please don't be dead. You weren't supposed to save me, god dammit, why..." his voice cracked and he sat back on his heels, lost for what to do. He could help the other heal, yes, but that was if he was still alive. If. So he'd wait. Leo took the others hand with his good one, shaking as he realized he not only failed to off himself, but brought someone else down with him.


-------


Damon shifted uncomfortably at the question, but tried so hard not to let it show. He knew it was coming, but it was oddly...terrifying to say it out loud, at least to Quinton. He sighed, looking down at the younger one, his eyes closing for a brief moment before opening again. "You've got to kill an Alpha to be an Alpha - very few of us are born with the traits, not like your's. I...I had to go the less prideful route. I murdered my Alpha Quin...I...It wasn't without reason but...I did kill him," he finished, though he didn't regret telling the teen. Yet. He almost didn't want to look at the other's face, worried of what he might see, but he looked on anyway. He just prayed the other wouldn't ask how. The why he could deal with, but If the younger wolf knew exactly how he'd gone about it, how he enjoyed it, how he continued to do so...he wasn't sure how he was going to admit that, ever. But he'd have to.

 

[BlueJae]

Nathin groaned, opening up his eyes, he flinched when he realized he was standing in the middle of...Of nowhere. Darkness, all around him, and he wasn't alone. His body was frozen, refusing to move though he desperately ordered it to. His eyes flicked around, waiting for an answer, and then he got it "Nathin Guild...It's been a while my dear friend." He sighed in relief at the voice, easing "Grim. How are you?" He said, finding it in him again to move, turning around to face the woman in front of him, who expression was deadpan and cold "I am as I always was. You, I cannot say the same for, what are you doing here?" She questioned, leaving their destination at the vague 'here' but they both knew where they were "I saved a life, I guess you could say...At least I hope I did." He added, furrowing his eyebrows, realizing that he didn't know if Leo was alright or not. He looked up at Grim quickly "Could you-" He blinked as she stopped him "It's much too early for you, this won't do." She said, Nathin let out a breath "You think I don't know that?" He asked, Grim cocked her head "This life you claimed to have saved, was it worth your own? Say I don't send you back, would it be worth it?" She returned his question with her own, Nathin raised his own head, squinting at Grim suspiciously "Where did that come from?"


"Was it?" She asked, he glanced off to the side, tugging at his lip with his teeth, then turned back "Yeah. Yeah i guess, assuming that crazy bastard is still alive." He said, shrugging, Grim shook her head "Shame I can't drag you to Hell, your pros out weigh your cons Guild, and what a pain that is. Even if I could, now's not the time. Back to your body, then?" She asked, Nathin shrugged once more "What more is there?" He muttered, Grim nodded "It'll be painful, looks like you took quite the hit?" She said, and while Nathin couldn't see it, his wound was there, due to his lack of a physical body however he couldn't feel it "Let's hope it ripped up my nerves enough for me to lose feeling."


"Unlikely."


"This is going to be a bitch." He sighed roughly, seeing Grim's hand outstretch before he closed his eyes. When he opened them back up, it was utter hell. He might've cried out, screamed bloody murder, but it was all too much. Instead, he started shaking violently, his body slowly- painfully slowly, trying to figure out how to heal itself while it sent him into a painful spasm that he couldn't seem to get a handle on, his eyes wide as a surprised look was plastered across his face.


Quinton listened, too closely if that was even a thing, and thus two more qesitons made it into that head of his. He'd ask them in the order they came in of course, he just hoped the tone the other would use to the first question wouldn't ruin his, or rather damper his, yearn to know the second "What was your reasoning?" He was curious to why, Nathin always depicted Damon to be a killer without ryhme and reason, so to speak, and he was hoping that it was not always the case- or the case at all, and that if it wasn't always then this time at least it would be something valid. Something that wasn't just an 'I snapped'. That was...That wasn't a reason, though, he wondered how common it was with Damon- their first meeting drifting quickly through his mind. How many times would he encounter that, he wondered. Untintentional if ever again so he would hope but one could never know.

 

[ROUX]

Leonardo was just about to give up. He'd been sitting there for over an hour, holding onto the tiniest flicker of hope that Nathin wasn't dead...not for saving his life, no, anything but that. His life, to him, was no longer worth living - let alone dying for. He should have waited to try and end it all, what he'd done had been reflex thinking, and he'd ended up causing someone else's death. He reached for the other again, hands steady enough to feel around Nathin's neck and wrists, but only sending a white hot pain through his chest as he realized that there was nothing...nothing he could do. Leo was surprised the other wasn't growing cold already - he was definitely gone, that much he knew...maybe it would just happen slower, they weren't human after all. Leon sat back again, shaking again in the fact that it was...this was his fault, again. If he hadn't jumped, none of this would have happened, he wouldn't have just screwed over an entire pack of wolves, an entire family, taken a life even by default. That settled it.


He was bleeding out slowly honestly, he knew something was wrong when he stopped feeling the pain of his ribs and arm, and his vision had gone rather fuzzy. He couldn't - no, wouldn't let himself heal, no, not after what he'd caused, and he still sat near Nathin's body, forcing himself to look at it blurry as it may have been thanks to his choice. He wondered what he would say to the other if he'd been still alive. Thanks for saving me, it didn't matter, I deserved to die anyway? No, that...that was cruel - maybe truthful to him but it would probably sound like a slap in the face of the other. He'd have said that Nathin wouldn't care, but if that was true why would he have jumped in the first place? It was amazing to Len, that someone that literally had everything to live for would just throw their lives away to save someone they didn't know, probably shouldn't trust, that had wanted to die. No, Leonardo would probably just tell him how...amazed he was, yes, because that was being truthful - and then escape to the darkness of his own home to try it again, or if Noah was still there the other would do it for him. But now? Now he was already fading, ever so slowly, and he would have just shut his eyes and let it be was it not for the sudden movement, the thrashing of the body next to him.


Leon shot up - a very very bad move but he was too surprised, trapped in utter disbelief when he realized that the other had come back to life...somehow. It didn't matter. All that mattered was that he was alive, and Leo could help him....If he could get him to stop moving. He moved over tentative, and did his best to hold the alpha down, crying out himself when the other accidentally knocked against his chest, but he managed to hold both arms down, leaning over to his own wrist and biting down into it, before moving his hand up to the other's mouth, hoping the boost from his own blood would be enough to jump start the other's factor into working properly. If it didn't work...they'd probably both be dead within the hour.


-------


Damon blinked, actually surprised that he wasn't being shunned right now - but there was still time for that now wasn't there? Damon couldn't help but think of and prepare for the worst. He knew that one question would lead to another and another...and sooner or later he would have to answer what he was so afraid of admitting point blank, and Quinton would have to decided for himself if he really was an impenetrable monster that belonged in a cage, unable to hurt anyone else. He listened to the next, something he had been expecting, before answering, leaning his head on the other's arm as he spoke, still keeping eye contact as he did such. "I was angry - I'd been angry with him for a long time, with the whole pack really. I'd been tortured all my life and all but one of them had just let it happen. Who better to punish than the one leading them all? He'd been the one to cast my mother out, just for me, if it weren't for him I wouldn't have been left with my demon of a father...I needed him gone. If I left the pack as anything but an Alpha I'd never be accepted anywhere, not without a family, not with the name I carried - and I needed the influence. So I needed to become an Alpha, and get the hell out of there. That, and I was tired of being spit upon, looked over, and ridiculed for things I didn't do."

 

[BlueJae]

Nathin wasn't exactly sure what was going on, and he was really hoping that his back would eventually numb, though his mind was all over the place. It was disorienting being thrown back into your body, always was, simply out of nowhere. It wasn't the first time he'd been there, but it wasn't like he purposely went around dying to make a point, it was only his second time. The first time had been a rather cold experience, he was only glad he'd know Grim by then, who seemed to have a grip on his soul if it ever and when it ever left his body so he wouldn't- so to speak - 'float away'. He would have to thank her for that, one day. The only reason he hadn't faced judgement yet. Grim could never be so wrong, his pros outweighing his cons? What a laugh that was, and maybe this was karma getting back at him, and that would be reasonable he supposed. A bit dickish, but reasonably dickish. He didn't know when he stopped spazzing, but he certainly had at one point. He could feel the flesh moving on his back, the rocks being popped out of his skin disturbing as that was. The dirt being deteriorated down to nothing. Healing was a weird, weird thing, and it's preparation was a painful process, but then again the whole thing was in general so he couldn't say much. That was also probably because his vocal cords seemed to have malfunctioned.


He didn't remember screaming on the way down, actually, all he remembered was the noise- the fucking noise. It was much different when it was happening to you yourself and not someone else. Funny how much more you could dread it when your weren't the one inflicting the pain anymore. Facedown he was, thankfully, and he didn't try to prop himself up. If he licked his lips he could taste the blood, some was his, some wasn't. He went with it, it took too much to actually think, as his head was throbbing like a migraine on steroids. His breathing hurt, as if his lungs pressed up against sore bones with every inhale. This healing process would take more than hours, no, it'd take over a day. Twenty. Four. Hours. Just lying there, face down, doing absolutely nothing. Well, no, that might not have been completely accurate. He could smell the other, and technically feel him as he was being held down- probably for good reason god knows when his body might freak out again- so that must've meant he was alive. Lovely. Ok. So they...This could go a lot of ways, now that Nathin was actually thinking about it. He assumed the other had less of an injury, or he was hoping he did, and despite his slow healing process no doubt it would go faster than his. He could leave him, actually, that was something he could very well do. Whether he would or not was beyond Nathin, speaking of things beyond him, sleep was one of them. Sleeping those twenty four plus hours away was an option. Or it would've been was it not for the fact that his back was screaming at him, the sickening sound of flesh reconnecting itself at a slow rate echoed in his ears. Well. This would be just. Fucking. Dandy.


"So what did you do?" It wasn't a direct 'how did you kill him', but the question was there. Not in the exact words, but it was. Quinton was still perfectly fine, hadn't thought much of anything he'd heard. He made sense of it, or well best he could, he found reason in it. That wasn't to say he didn't see both sides of the equation, why one might not find that so pleasing as an answer. Though, a few more questions came to mind, however, he didn't have a plan to ask them, at least. Those he would wonder to himself, easily answered in his own mind he'd no reason to ask them aloud. Still comfortable, he wasn't aware that that might not last for very long. Still drowsy, in the slightest, there was the possibility that that feeling would fly straight out the window- just like something else. Only a possibility, of course, only. This said, he looked over at the other best he could, waiting for his answer.

 

[ROUX]

Leon only moved his wrist away when Nathin seemed to be finished - completely finished with just about everything as it looked like now. He couldn't blame the other, he would have been nearly passed out too if he'd narrowly escaped death only to have the terrible wounds inflicted from someone else's attempt at obliteration try and drag you back to that very same state. He wondered what the other was thinking, he wondered if Nathin could even hear him, if he would even care. How would he react when Leo told him that he'd wanted to doe anyway - he still wanted to? Maybe he wouldn't say anything. But then...he didn't want to lie to the other, the only person that had actually cared about him for real - even if that was only for a split second. He stared at the blood now caked under his fingernails, the sight making his stomach do front flips, so he looked away, tried to ignore the sounds of the flesh snapping and weaving itself back together, bones grinding and rubbing against one another as they snapped back into place ever so slowly. He could have probably left, if he'd been healing himself, but he had not, and was not. This sight in front of him, it was just another reason to let himself bleed out slowly onto the ground, and he had settled his back against a boulder as the hours passed, and he went in and out of consciousness. No, he wouldn't have left even if he was healed - it was his fault Nathin was in this mess, and there was no damn way the Omega wouldn't see him out of it.


--------


"Quin....I'm so sorry....." Damon uttered the name shakily followed by the apology, dreading what would inevitably come next. He leaned forward, his hand pulling Quinton's head up to meet his own as he kissed him passionately, trying to get across what he couldn't let himself say, not yet, not until the other knew the whole truth. He prayed the other wouldn't leave him for this. But he wouldn't blame the younger wolf if he did. Damon broke away and breathed out slowly, moving his hand away and sitting up again, running a hand through his hair before beginning.


"I managed to lure him out using his own damn stupidity...his mate, she was around, but I knew that as soon as I offed him, she wouldn't be a problem. Loosing your mate is literally like dying anyway, and I had no problems taking it out on her after all," he said, almost reliving the night in his mind as he explained. "God, I was...I was already fucking nervous from what i'd done before hand. And I had a knife, a silver knife with me - I still have it now," he added, reaching into his jacket pocket and retrieving the dagger, the blade no longer than his palm, one edge still discolored from blood as he spun it around in his pail as he spoke. "I stabbed him. Twice. Just enough so he could stay alive while I killed him slowly - but I didn't want him to scream at me, or scream at all really...I needed him quiet. So I cut out his tongue with my blade, threw it somewhere else, not sure where, let him bleed. It wasn't enough. So I thought about it - I always do...why does this one deserve to die? Well he obviously didn't need his brain, he wasn't using it when he followed me out, alone. But that would kill him too quickly. And then I thought - the eyes...how many times has this man looked at me, seen the way I looked, known the hell I went through from my father and simply averted his damn eyes? Looked the other way while Enzo did what he wanted with me? Unacceptable. So, I carved them out, tossed them in the direction of the tongue. It's always interesting to see what they'll try to do before I end them, he was only the second, and I was fascinated. But also young, and impatient -and I didn't have time to play with him - and anyway, you aren't supposed to play with your food. And that's what he was at that point to me - a source of energy, in so many ways. I didn't just want to absorb the Alphas power, I wanted to devour it. So I didn't bother shifting, no, this was too personal for that...I simply leaned down and ripped out his throat with my teeth, finding I liked the taste of the blood running down my chin, down my neck, I wanted more of it. And the moment his heart stopped beating and I started to become alpha, I found I couldn't stop myself. I tore chunks off of him, god dammit, and I still wanted more - it wasn't enough, it would never be enough. But the moment I heard his mates pained howls, as if I had been eating her flesh from her bones, I knew I had to go, or I'd be discovered. Of course the pack would know that I did it, but they wouldn't be able to catch up to me, not then with my new found strength. So I ran - but nor before spelling out that I'd be back in the bits and pieces of what was left of the other."

 

[BlueJae]

Quinton didn't say a word, not anytime from the very start to the very finish. Each description seemed to close his throat just that much tighter, and despite Damon's clear displeasure with his own actions it did little to nothing to comfort the smaller one. He could do that. Damon can do that. Anytime, any fucking point in time, and he himself wouldn't be able to do shit about it. The alpha...That wasn't just anyone, that was Nathin's uncle. Nathin told him it'd been another wolf, sure, but he'd left out the gruesome details, and now Quinton knew why. He felt cold, and that was probably because the heat had drained from him along with the color of his skin- he'd gone pale undoubtedly. What was he supposed to say to that? He couldn't write that off, as much as he wished he could he couldn't. He couldn't think about it even, think about a reply whilst Damon was looking at him, or even while he was in the room. He was at a loss for words, for thoughts, for anything. What was he supposed to say? What the fuck was he supposed to say? Yeah. He'd been fine. Just a few minutes ago he'd been perfectly fine lying in the other's arms, now he was just...He didn't know. This wasn't something he could think over, he was thinking about it right now, and it was. It was. What was it? Unnerving, to say the least, he didn't know what else to call it. He opened his mouth, tried to say something, but a crackling sound came instead. The room was lit blue, a blinding flash for a second, and when Quinton opened his eyes Damon was gone. His door was opened, a familiar figure in the doorway "Well now, wasn't that a show." The electricity faded, leaving the room dark again. Asher moved towards him, blue eyes glowing just as bright as her shocks "You can breath now." She said, tapping his chest, ultimately making him cough. He didn't realize he'd been holding his breath until then "I- Where did you put him?" Quinton asked, Asher looked out the window, squinting "Where he belongs." She said simply, Quinton tensed before she looked back down at him "On his own territory of course. You know, when you're mind suddenly stops working, kind of makes me think you're dead." She said, sitting at the end of his bed, Quinton finally swallowed "Sorry..." He murmured, rubbing his head, this wasn't something he could just sleep on. How long until he made something of it, he wondered, but there was a better question- how long until Damon made his way back to him? Asher lit a small ball of electricity, putting it in the air next to Quinton "Keep it, think of it like a dream catcher." She said, feeling the negative waves coming off him, from his head to be more clear "Thanks, I- uh," He tried to think of something clever to say to divert her from feeling his emotions, or rather his thoughts, but she stood suddenly "Look, I don't mind you two doing your- fuck, I don't know, call it what you want. It's none of my business. But it will be, mind you, when he makes the wrong move. It'll be Nathin's too, so for your own sake Diaz, I suggest you sit on whatever he told you for a long time. Think your next move through, because next time, you won't be so lucky as to catch him on a night when Nathin is out, and I won't be as nice as to leave him unscratched. Now if you don't mind, that was a bit of a pain in the ass and a strain to my ability to stay conscious, so, I'll be off." She sighed, heading for the door, waving despite her back being turned to him "Sleep tight." She said, closing his door, but he knew well he would get no sleep.


It was dark, by now, Nathin was exhausted, as was his body but it never stopped healing. He was just glad when all the rocks had successfully been popped out of his skin, they were sharp little shits. He didn't know how late it was, to be exact, but it was far from evening, maybe a little closer to very, very early morning even. His back ached, still, but he wondered just how painful it would be to attempt movement. It wasn't like he was going to just get up and walk, but he was tired of laying face down and his nose was starting to get sore. He pressed his forearms into the ground then pulled up, digging his elbows into the ground as he did his best to prop his upper-half up. He hissed when his spine cracked, making a sickening sound as he elevated himself "Christ..." He grunted, jerking his jaw left to right as he looked around. His ears went up when he saw Leo, then they pinned, realizing that his ears were no longer on the side of his head, rather, on the top- resembling his halfway transition. His body had no fucking idea what it was doing. Great. He rolled his eyes, despite all the pain, at least now he would hear anything coming- say, a wild animal drawn by the smell of blood. He would not be done out by a wild cat that was for sure, or anything else, never.

 

[ROUX]

Leon opened one eye at the sound of movement, turning his head when he saw exactly what - or rather who was moving around. It was dark, and his vision was getting even worse as the life literally drained from his body and onto the ground. He wasn't going to complain though, it was taking away any feeling he might of had left, and the only things left for him to feel were guilt and pain. He was about to pass out for what he had counted to be the fourth time that day...or night, he wasn't sure anymore. But hearing something moved him again, and he looked up, and sure enough, Nathin was moving....thank god he could. First thing he thought when he saw the ears atop the other's head was that it was kind of...well...adorable to see that way, and then the other looked at him, and Leon stared back with his green eyes. He opened his mouth, his voice coming out rather raspy, broken from what had just happened. "I...you didn't have to...Nathin, you didn't have to save my life...not mine," he whimpered, looking away for a moment before looking back, obviously guilty, knowing the other was going to be pissed when he saw that Leo wasn't healing.

 

[BlueJae]

Nathin stared at him, the slight confusion on his face, his eyes flicked back and forth examining the other horizontally trying to figure out a single question. It occured to him that it might not have been his right to know, or hell, maybe the other didn't want him to know. Well. Too fucking bad. Off a cliff and down the damn thing to be told- he didn't have to. Yeah, that was obvious. Now, when someone tells you that, something just might be wrong there, and he didn't like it "Why." It wasn't much of a question but such tone was implied as Nathin stared the other down, his ears had never come back up from their pinned position much less had his eyes turned back to their usual brown. Now crimson much like a sight he'd only seen once, and he didn't want to see it again, either- just as he didn't want to, rather refused, to see the other bleed out. But it would be dickish of him not to at least inquire on his reasons before hand.

 

[ROUX]

Leo looked up with tired eyes, reflecting the level of hopelessness he was feeling at that point. That and the guilt were the only things that he was feeling in that moment. There was gratitude yes, but the thought that it was all for nothing overshadowed it. He watched the other's eyes, tried not to think about how much Nathin must hurt right now, how it was all in vain because he didn't want to live.


"I...there is nothing for me, Nathin. No family I can reach without destroying, the only friend I trust wants to kill me, and I bonded with the man who defiled then destroyed my older sister, only for even that to be broken. I can't...the longer I live the longer I hurt, and apparently that pain spreads to others...to you. Nathin I nearly killed you when you had everything to go back to - so many reasons to live. I appreciate you trying to save me, I do, God you nearly have your life for me and you don't even know my name. You're too good to die, but I? I don't want to live anymore there is no point, nothing at all."


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[BlueJae]

"That jump was my own choice and I'll be damned if you try to take the blame for that." It was a quick comment, one with bite- Nathin blinked, his ears flicked from time to time as he evaluated his current position. It was not a good one. Pricked he was, to do something about it he could not- or rather, he couldn't do much about it. The words played over in his head more irritably than the last. He really...Really hated people like this. Not people within this range of feeling but rather those that would off themselves then deal with the lives they lived. Quinton often had books with such characters, annoying. Sad. Not the kind of sad where you pity one but rather pathetic. And yeah, he'd take it, hell he'd agree with anyone who told him he was being an asshole, but he wouldn't put up with it. Not now. Sure, he'd concur with those who'd tell him he didn't understand, and he didn't, he didn't live there lives he probably didn't get a right to snap at somebody who had it worse than him but- damn him. Everything to go back to. He didn't ask for all that, and yet, the other used it like a day hadn't gone by where he wondered what it'd be like not to have to live with so much responsibility, not to have to live with one little hobby that could ruin his reputation completely all because of a sick enjoyment that he just couldn't get rid of. Maybe that one was his fault, and he'd take the blame for it. But what he wouldn't take was the words he was being forced to hear. It made him cringe. Despite the few words Leon had to him it. Made. Him. Cringe. He hated it, not like one hadn't already figured that out but by the time he opened his mouth again, he simply wasn't having it "People like you...Really piss me off sometimes. Excuse me if that offends you in your oh so piteous state, and you might hate me by the end of this, but to be fair I obviously wouldn't have been doing a good job if you didn't. You want to off yourself because there's nothing left to live for? That's your fault, and yes, I realize that's where the core of your pity lies but where- tell me, where do you come off getting to end it because of the mistakes you made? You think anyone would get anywhere if they did that? That the world would be anywhere but here if every time someone made their life Hell they just gave up? You can't reach out to your family, sorry, but at least you have it. Some people don't. I don't know what your relationship is with them, or if you even have one anymore, but the fact that you can say you do is enough. Your friend wants to kill you? Shame. But let me evalutate that for a second. When I found you in the shop you were a wreck and your throat was slit. You were, whats the word, jittery. Rambling. You looked like you came out of a terrible situation- one you didn't care to see the end to. You bolted, didn't you? You didn't stop and try to figure things out, you ran, and maybe you didn't have a choice but it was at the heat of the moment or because it came down to that but you ran. I wonder, if you went back, if they would still be in the same mind set, or maybe they've calmed down. You might never know. You're giving up so easily rather than attempt to deal with what you've learned, taking the easy way out, what about the people who have it worse than you? Darker things to hide? Don't make me laugh, telling me I'm too good to die. The-" Nathin paused, taking a second to decide, then continued "The shit I've done? I should be dead. I should be in Hell- and those are from my own decisions...Do what you want. If anybody ever listened to a damn word somebody else had to say maybe," Another pause, only to sigh as Nathin let his forehead come into contact with the ground "maybe they wouldnt end up in the same position. Dead. By their own hand. I don't get it, that much I do know, but it's sad and it's weak- and you can hate me down to your final seconds of life but that doesn't much matter to me. Funny, how everyone seems to think that once they're gone things will be better that way, that no one would think twice about it nor care. How wrong they are. At least, I suppose, I should be grateful that you listened, or at least I'm assuming you did." Nathin muttered, closing his eyes, face down all over again. No amounts of studying would ever get him to understand what went through someone's mind when they made that decision, and he might never know to be honest, but what exactly did that matter? He wasn't...A compassionate person, not easily. This behavior, that example, it might've been the reason he was previewed as so cold, but what did it matter at this point? It didn't.

 

[ROUX]

Moments passed, probably only a few minutes in actuality, but at that point in time Leon's mind previewed them as hours. He had indeed listened to what the other had said, perhaps a bit too well, though the words certainly got through to him all right. So the other had been angry - he'd been expecting Nathin to be, he would have been, honestly, and he had seen the man's reaction as he'd said his part in the matter. But he didn't expect to care, really, but this time...he did. A lot. And god, did it hurt more than anything else he'd heard in a long time. It stung even. It was like the verbal assault had killed him even quicker than his own mind had, and Leonardo had visibly flinched after just the first line.


It wasn't the first time he'd felt like this either, and he distinctly remembered the last, on the date of the first time he had turned - accidentally, at that, and he'd hurt someone, nearly killed them, and it was then when he'd realized he couldn't do it, couldn't deal with it, needed to get away from every one and everything in that second.


Now, it was similar, except it was worse. Worse for the man, no, the Alpha who'd just risked his life to save Leon's, to tell him he was a shoddy coward, that he was basically worse off for running from his problems, like was...pitiful. Leon looked away, anywhere else but Nathin, though the other was no longer looking at him. The man probably couldn't bear to, if he was such a damn disappointment, and in a way, Leon saw that, within himself. Difference was, he saw it all of the time. He hadn't always been such a recluse, if he could be called that really. He remembered the days when he was as sociable as any other teenage boy, but then, those were his human days, were they not? Hell, the last time he'd been human, he'd still have been in high school. And then it was all ripped away from him...maybe that was the day he lost himself then. The week even, when members of his pack just kept disappearing, and Damon had told him not to worry, that he knew was happening, and then that hellish climax to the pain of it all when the other told him he never wanted to see him again, to break the bond, and not to come looking. Leon wished he'd never left. Never been bitten even, never would have had the chance to feel such mental and physical anguish, the kind he'd went through when he had to break the damn bond by himself. He'd already died once, in his opinion, the moment he did it. He nearly physically died too, only reason he didn't was because he was...no. He had been an Alpha. Now he was nothing, on most peoples eyes.


He didn't...he liked to think he didn't need anyone really. That was really what had glued him and Damon together honestly, before he knew all the shit the other wolf had done - they were both alone in the world for one reason or another. So why not be alone together? In the end, it had probably been what had drove them apart, now that Leonardo thought about it. But Damon had told Leo how he dealt with it, and he couldn't help but think of it now. He...there were to parts of them, he knew. The animal, and the human. He could choose to be either physically, but mentally? He knew it was supposed to be a balance there, but right now, he couldn't deal with the human emotions, he didn't want to, but his pride...his pride wouldn't let him kill himself after all that Nathin said.


He did want the man to know something however, his voice quivering as he spoke, the hurt vibrating in his chest as he did so, though he was being genuine as he stared straight at Nathin as he spoke this time. "I..I don't. I do not hate you. Maybe...maybe you should hate me..."


Leon chose to live just to prove him wrong, that he was not wallowing in self pity completely, if it was the last thing he did as his human self, before retreating to the darkest corners of his own mind. His wounds closed, slowly, ever so slowly as his mundane consciousness slipped out of reach except for the bare necessities, what he needed to function of course. But physically, his once focused gaze slackened, and he gazed almost aimlessly, as if something in his brain had just snapped. He blinked, once, twice, his expression slack except for the small frown.

 

[BlueJae]

Nathin scoffed or, maybe something close to it "Hate you? No." He didn't hate him, Nathin hated some things, a few things. He hated not knowing things. he hated when his experiments ended early, he hated not being able to work- yes he hated things, but he didn't hate Leo. He hated his way of thinking instead, but he supposed the other knew that by now. Either way, it didn't matter any more, now they were both in a rather down mood, what a pity.


Nathin let out a soft breath, thinking about all the things he could be doing right now, he could be at work but of course he was here- and that was his own fault, but this was certainly not how he'd expected it to end. Or, well, it wasn't ended, at least not yet. He couldn't think straight, but he tried, needing something to hold onto, to keep him in concious. Grim. Ah yes his old friend that was one thing. How she was doing now, he wondered, if she might've been worried or maybe annoyed. Whichever, whatever, who knew. The night he'd met her...He couldn't remember it. But when she came to his every aid, whenever he wished someone dead or something taken care of he wasn't quite sure what he'd done but it must've been something worth while. What had he done...That night? He couldn't remember, but he knew- yes he knew, Grim did. So why hadn't she told him? He might've never knew, but it was something to think about, focus on, so he did.


----


It had now been long since.


Winter was harsh and unforgiving this year, the cold hitting their coats hard, ripping through their fur with icy winds as they marched. Heads low and ears pinned their feet moved in a rumbling chorus as they walked, watching the one head held high, eyes never leaving it as it lead them through the cold, the trees, the fog. Whispers moved around, carried by the wind to one and another, flying on the falling snowflakes, containing excitement, wonder, curiosity, they were close. They could smell that they were. Raised heads howled, the whole pack in one go, their cries carrying into one single sound and carried off- only to be met with the same noise coming right back at them, greeted by their new friends. Just across a field, through more trees, their new home lied. States they'd traveled, eager to meet those they'd been separated from for so long, the reason they left was still unknown but it didn't matter anymore. The mass amount of them, tails held high, hopes raised, came in a wave as they ran across the frozen flat land, all in a hurry after their leader. Their feet made the ground shake, the gravel toss itself around, the air fill with a single constant beating. Soon they'd made it to the other side, never once passing their alpha, who maneuvered them through the trees. The other pack's scent was overpowering as it carried on to their noses, through the fog the bodies, the source of such a smell, laid in wait for their appearance, their own alpha in the black flesh that held it waited patiently for their arrival. Never moving, soon their own ivory furred female moved forward, bringing eye contact with the jet black wolf. Boths eyes turned red as they greeted each other, stepping forward alone to meet each other in the middle- lowering their heads until their foreheads met, a signal for the others to follow. Each pack stepped forward, past their own alpha, merging with the other, tails wagging excitedly, barks and howls of nostalgia and greetings. Old friends found, new ones discovered, and in the middle the cousins watched their families come together, turning into what was once two separate packs now into one, seventy five strong "It's been too long Navita." Nathin said, cocking his head, a softened expression reaching his face as he greeted his older cousin, who looked at him in adoration "What a respectable alpha you've become, you would make my father proud. I look forward to living with you, cousin dear." She said, following Nathin to follow him, their pack piping up and going right after "Let me take you to the house, much warmer than out here." He said, moving alongside his cousin "We've much to discuss, I'm eager to learn your customs." Navita cocked her head when Nathin chuckled "No different than your own, or at least not by much, there is an issue I must inform you of- but I'm sure you'll understand. Later, though, we're not far from home now. Our home." He stated, watching Navita's face brighten "Our home." She repeated softly, how nice of a ring it had.

 

[ROUX]

It was amazing how much life could parallel death if you didn't want to be living it. In death there is nothingness, and that was exactly what Leon was feeling - whether that was what he wanted himself to feel or just all that he could at the moment he didn't know. For all the ways he could have offed himself since the initial attempt from which Nathin had saved him from, he hadn't done it again. He still didn't know how he would have felt if Nathin hadn't saved him - but then he supposed he would have been dead, unable to feel anything at all. He did respect Nathin, more than ever now, the man didn't have to save him, and he had. Sure Leon could have written it all off under that Alpha instinct, but this...Leon was not part of Nathin's pack. He hadn't even told the man his name and the Alpha had gone after him anyway. If he felt anything at all...it was respect. Nothing but respect - and the tinge of guilt at the harm he had caused. But then, that was only if he had let himself feel anything, and right now he wasn't. He hadn't stepped outside in weeks, hadn't bothered to eat anything in weeks besides the occasional lone bowl of cereal - and he usually couldn't even finish that without feeling like he needed to throw up. He couldn't think, now with the thoughts he had. That he'd kissed the same monster than had eaten his sister - and probably countless others - with those very same teeth...Leon didn't think himself clean anymore. He didn't know if he ever would be again...and he certainly wouldn't as this shell of himself, wafting in the horror he'd unknowingly lived through.


He'd heard the joyous howls of the new wolves moving through the forest the night before and closed his eyes, shutting them out, unable to shake the feeling that that because of him, they might have entered to mourning instead of being greeted - but luckily they had not. And the guilt weighed on his shoulders, along with the words Nathin had said to him with such venom, indeed running through his system like poison that he couldn't escape.


------


Never was there a day Damon had imagined he'd actually start facing the consequences of his ghastly actions. He didn't care if Nathin went after him, if the whole damn pack went after him - they wouldn't kill the entire Nightshade pack. Just Damon. And Damon did not fear death. He'd spent too much time looking death in it's face to be, living on the line of it, being tortured and dug into like a damn guinea pig, watching his own blood drain from his body over and over and over. So when he'd gotten out, he figured he had lived through worse than whatever death could offer him. And when he'd ceased fearing death, he stopped fearing the consequences - and when he;d reached that point, he lost himself, and didn't care enough to get it back.


Now...now everything was different. He could loose something he valued above his own life really - Quinton. He hadn't been able to stop thinking about the other ever since he'd been dropped back into his own room from that blue light - something to do with Asher he figured. The woman was something more than wolf, if she was that at all. He'd been rather distracted, and absolutely buzzed when he'd met her the first time, but not he was coherent enough to recognize that she was not at all what she seemed. He'd spent more time in the outside world than any of the other wolves - well, all but one. He didn't know what she was, however, and this would have bothered him so much more if he wasn't focusing on a greater problem at hand.


He had not gone to Quinton for a couple of reasons actually. It wasn't that he didn't want to see the teen - like hell that was, he spent every waking moment aching to do just that. But he'd chosen to respect the other's space, knowing that whatever decision Quin came to it wouldn't have been easy. Even the decision to leave him altogether, which to be honest, Damon could never blame him for, wouldn't come easy to him. Quinton just wasn't that kind of person, he was good. And Damon didn't deserve him at all. But Damon wanted him so, and he hated himself for letting that happen, he didn't want to destroy Quinton, not purposely or accidentally, and part of him knew that he should be preparing for the worst - the worst that Quinton could say to Damon, and the fact that that was exactly what he deserved.


He sighed, tapping his fingers on the desk he was sitting at, staring at the wood with tired eyes. He hadn't been able to sleep, not will all of his own pack's preparations being made. He knew that the Luna pack had just increased exponentially - he'd heard long before it happened. And he had not worried. Because his own pack, though small at first, had several new editions of their own. Of course, not everything was ready, and the unpredictability of tie situation was extremely high, so they had to wait. But Damon was not worried, no not about that. He was only ever worried about his hunter.


------


The white wolf moved through the trees, walking along the ground with his head low, following the scent of humans, as faint as it was once they'd neared the edge of town. The two wolves behind him padded after, one brown and one grey, both adolescents like himself. They all stopped just at the edge, the lights of ea building in the distance glaring down at them. The white wilf flicked it's tail, and the snowy paws melted into hands, claws into nails, and the blue eyes became a lighter shade of grey as he stood.


"This is a bad idea. Beni? Are you even listening? Navita said - "


"Shh! Look - we aren't going to get caught. The alphas and their betas are too busy getting things worked out - and we aren't going to stay out all night anyway. Just a few hours...enough to party, that is," Ben grinned, fist bumping the boy behind him and watching the girl next to him roll her brown eyes up to the starry sky with her doubt. Ben turned, giving her a ridiculous looking puppy dog face, and she sighed, crossing her arms, but to his delight, giving in. "You know what - fine. But if we get caught, I'm not taking the blame for this..."


"Fine by me, short stuff," Ben shrugged, and she glared at him, about to insult him for the comment on her height, but then not bothering when the taller boy marched forward into the town, the wind ruffling through his brown hair as he moved on. She looked to her twin brother, her disdain showing even more so as she followed along side him. "Jess, we are going to get caught, you know that right? I'm only here because you dragged me - what is it with you and your idiot friend anyway? Always getting into trouble, he is," Amy huffed, and Jess looked at her, stuffing his hands in his jean's pockets. "You know Ben. Once he gets an idea nothing can stop him, and well...I didn't really want to spend my evening unpacking either, not hen you know they're going to sic chaperons on us every day after this," he pointed out, and the frown slowly dissipated from her face. He had a point. And she was actually curious, if he was being honest. They could never get into clubs in the city, they expected kids like them to try to get in all the time, it was too risky. But here? No one knew them, and it should have been easy to slip by, and an opportunity like this would not surface anytime soon. Though she would never tell Benvolio this, no way was she assisting the rapidly growing size of his ego. Her friend - though very much her friend - could be a pain in the ass sometimes, and it didn't help that he had the aptitude to be an alpha either. "Let's just go already," She muttered, though her eyes widened as the building loomed into view, the flashing lights reflecting against her dark orbs. The trio moved forward, passing through the doorway with ease, swinging the bouncers with their ID's from the city and passing into a world of flashes and booming sound.

 

[BlueJae]

"Come on. Quinnyyyy, don't do this again. There's no way you can do this tonight. Hey now, smiiiiile." Asher, who was hanging upside down, reached out and pushed the corners of Quinton's lips- who chuckled softly to the side. Asher wasn't Nathin, wasn't Alex, hadn't known him for all his life and certainly wasn't a lifetime friend but...She had refused to leave him alone since the day she arrived. Quinton guessed it was because he was the first one she'd met, he was familiar and someone or something she knew that was outside of he own pack, which was now their own pack, and she would need something as such to hold onto when her own were doing the same. They weren't as close as him and his two bestfriends but they were certainly something, funny since Asher knew more than Nathin and Alex did...But, none the less, she was living up to the label 'friend'- or she was trying. Her days were filled with trying to keep Quinton from drowning in his thoughts and detaching himself from reality. He'd been trying to make a desicion, he had, but there were so many contridicting things and it only wracked his brain the harder he thought about it. Often he would lose himself in this and Asher would drag him out. He couldn't ask her she'd only seen so much, he wouldn't dare bring it up with Nathin as he valued his head, and Alex...Alex would tell Nathin, not to be spiteful but because she would think it for his own good. He would've done the same for her, Nathin- if not alpha - would have bluntly done the same for them. It was simply how they thought to take care of eachother. Quinton wasnt sure why Asher hadnt gone to Nathin straight away, gone to brag about what she had seen and what she knew, in fact, she hadn't talked to the alpha at all since she'd last seen him. Either way, she hadnt left the Hunter alone since she'd come here, switching from annoying him to death to smacking - lightly mind anyone - him to drag him out of his thoughts to even letting her teach him about things she'd find in his books. In the end, it did little, but she tried, as she was now "Come onnnnn, look outside!' She said, dragging him to the window to look down at the huge bonfire in the front that stretched out all the way to the back and around to the front again "Everybody is having fun! Why can't you?" She asked, already trying to drag him away and down to the party but as she did so Quinton's eyes never left the same spot, which was set on Nathin. That, him exactly, his alpha- was the reason, and if not Nathin, then his own indecisive mind.


Speaking of the devil himself, Nathin watched as his packmembers and their new companions danced and celebrated. He sat closer to the fire, watching their movements with a small smile on his face. He hadn't seen anyone so joyful in a while. How long would it last, he wondered, but he hoped that the answer to that was for a while. The howls that seemed to echo into the distance, ones that would usually concern him and cause him to scold the source, for this night only made music for his ears as they came together in something like a symphony for all those who would give an ear. He eyes flickered around and around as he watched but soon he felt someone tugging at his shoulders. None other than Navita who was pulling him up and laughing "Come! Dance with me Nathin!" She cheered, giggling as she tugged him up and took him by the hands "Do you really want me...To show you up in front of your pack mates?" He sneered "Our packmates, and I'd like to see you try and be as graceful as I."


"You've the grace of a broken swan."


"And you the body of a female teen." Navita shot back, Nathin smirked "Still better than you. Engarde!" He said, spinning Navita, who only laughed as they shared a dance, going back and forth as they tried to out do one and another- much to the pack's amusement.