Futuristic Shattered Galaxy: Maiden Voyage

[Menacing Melon]

Well I feel the idea of having the unknown age is better than saying 'Undying' but I think you might want to add detail to your idea more than less. I'm not saying it's not interesting because It is neat, a fallen general/commander is a good idea, though I'm just going to point out a few things.

Some Ideas

1. What type of General was he, Was he an air commander? Navy Admiral (Space Navy or Water Navy)? Just an army general?


2.What do you mean he "Won many battles" How did he do that? Was it because of a heroic last stand? Maybe his tactical genius?


3. How did he gain knowledge of all the ships, guns and tactic? Through an academy? Does he know EVERY SINGLE ONE or just most of them from his division (Army, Navy, Air, etc) or just most of the unique tactics from his regiment?


4. What did he do to disobey? Did he reject a battle strategy that would sacrifice many of his troops? Did he take some classified information that he shouldn't have, or know about?


5. How did he get his piloting skills? Most generals don't need those skills to do their job.

 

[armoredpotrol]

ok then scrap the prototype precursor thing. how about he be a gunner while on the main ship but when needed he can use his warp fighter?

 

[Primal Conundrum]

Hey guys, sorry for being MIA for the past few days, I had some real life stuff I needed to straighten out and deal with. I've got it handled now, and I'll be getting my character up today. Sorry about the wait!

 

[armoredpotrol]

Name: uldren sov


Age: unknown


Role: fighter pilot


Alliance: crescent empire


Bio: he was the supreme general(head of all branches) for the crescent fleet. He won many battles, raids, and solo missions due to thought out battle plans and skill. the skill was obtained from long hours in simulators and even more time in the fields. He has extensive knowledge about every ship, gun, and tactic of the empire. he knows those things because he has used them all and taught people how to use them all. But he once disobeyed an order from the counsel, the order told him to send a anti-matter bomb into the core of a planet full of innocent people and pirates, and was exiled. He has been wandering the universe ever since. He has spent most of his time alone but recently joined a Subarashii starship and joined their crew as a wingman.

 

[Menacing Melon]

@armoredpotrol


Much Better, Just make sure you keep that stuff up, or else you might run into a strict group of RPers that will Beat you with a bag of Hammers Lecture you thoroughly. You want to make sure you have that kind of detail because you will be a better RPer for it. I'm assuming your character will be Co-Pilot will be a co-pilot?

 

[Thinslayer]

@armoredpotrol: The Council is not in the business of destroying planets, especially when there are more...effective options for ethnic cleansing. But so as not to trash your bio, let's say the Council ordered him to deliver a message that he knew would spark nuclear war.

 

[armoredpotrol]

ok i shall post my official char details on the char signup page

 

[Thinslayer]

Initializing Main Thread. Standby for launch.

 

[Thinslayer]

@Primal Conundrum: The "like" on your app means I have accepted it. Write away!

 

[Primal Conundrum]

Sorry on the slightly slow intro! I'm most active during work hours, so I totally missed the evening start.

 

[UnknownSection]

@armoredpotrol What's up with your latest post? Why did your guy randomly die?

 

[Primal Conundrum]

Yeah, are you done with the RP or... what?

 

[armoredpotrol]

youll see

 

[armoredpotrol]

i aint done yet

 

[UnknownSection]

@armoredpotrol Are you about to pull out some Deus Ex Machina plot device after you seemingly just had a seizure for no apparent reason?

 

[Thinslayer]

@armoredpotrol: You're not really using the character optimally. He's the sort of captain that the crew of the Subash would randomly encounter in a mission and talk to over comms. You'd basically be a wingman. If you want him to operate more on foot and in person, consider having him defect to the Federation. This...spasming...stuff...that you're having him do is just...weird.

 

[BunBun]

@Menacing Melon I don't know if you caught on and edited your post recently but it had the same thing twice. Or was it intentional?

 

[Menacing Melon]

@Menacing Melon I don't know if you caught on and edited your post recently but it had the same thing twice. Or was it intentional?

Thanks, that wasn't intentional, just an editing mistake I made

 

[BunBun]

[QUOTE="Menacing Melon]Thanks, that wasn't intentional, just an editing mistake I made

[/QUOTE]
Oh okay. You're welcome.

 

[Primal Conundrum]

I want paleboy to come back online, I'm looking forward to seeing where this goes. Kinda like looking forward to watching a trainwreck but w/e

 

[BunBun]

@Primal Conundrum You and me both, darling.

 

[Primal Conundrum]

Starting to get the feeling that if he doesn't show up again soonish, he's gonna get left on a slab in a morgue somewhere while the rest of us get started.

 

[Weston Da Wookie]

Actually, I know where he is taking this (or at least, where his next couple of posts are going), so you have no need to be worried. Although his character development skills are kinda lacking here, and they will continue to lack for a while. Oh well.

 

[BunBun]

@Primal Conundrum What if it's his way of not wanting to be in the role play anymore? I've done that once but that was because the role play was going on without a plot and it bothered me.

 

[BunBun]

Really? What is he going to take it?