Realistic or Modern SCP-3008: The Infinite IKEA [IC]

[Caffeine Freak]

Location: IKEA

Time: 13:04 IST (IKEA Standard Time)

CS: Realistic or Modern - The Infinite IKEA Sign Ups

CHAPTER 1: THE MAZE
It was supposed to be a regular trip to IKEA.

And it was, for the first hour or so at least.

Then another hour passed.

Then another.

Assortments of hand-assembled furnishings tagged with bizarre Swedish names leer from their respective pedestals, almost amusement in their glistening finishes as they seem to watch you helplessly try to fumble your way through an ever-extending maze. A cream marble floor reflects your hazy image, snaking through wooden sections from which all manner of home furniture resides. Re-tracing your steps only leads you a smooth exterior wall — the entrance you had walked through is nowhere to be seen. Signs hanging overhead reading 'EXIT' indicate nothing of the sort, one will point you down an entirely different path than another — all leading in circles or to dead ends.

Rows of uniform fluorescent lights hum quietly overhead, and each footstep seems to echo out forever.

After an excruciating period of aimlessly wandering about, a certain break out area catches your eye — a fully stocked IKEA Food Court, complete with stations of varying Swedish dishes. All this walking has no doubt whet your appetite, and the place looks deserted. As you emerge from between the lines of shelves, however, a distinct sound catches your attention — footsteps.

You are not alone.

Welcome to the Infinite IKEA! Once your Sign Up sheet has been liked/accepted, you can begin posting! There will be no IKEA 'Staff' during this intro segment so take this opportunity to interact with other characters!

yourlocal-eboyy baggysack .Arteries. Blemmigan D1.Live

 

[baggysack]

"Hey, cool cats!" Stream is offline.

"Hey! Cool cats!" Stream is offline. Error 404.

Lars Soderburg is locked in an Ikea bathroom stall in a full-body fursuit, under the thumb of an audience his signal refuses to reach. The panic is inevitable. It has been five hours. No service, no Laslo here for camera assistance, not another member of his sponsor group FUR-PLANET. There is no one to validate him. He has never felt this utterly alone in a long time, and Lars' immediate reaction to the resultant void is to keep screaming into it. Until he can't take it anymore: he has to choose between his wolf-cat fursona, Sugeru, or a tank-top and briefs. He owns the former.

Now, Lars is wandering the stark-clean aisles. He poses his Samsung at an angle above him. Every few steps: snap, and pose. This is fun, he tells himself. If someone, anyone, sees me in this giant fucking store, they'll be like, "Look at this asshole in a dog-suit!" Another side of him posits: If no one here's to see it, does it even matter that it happened? That English proverb of a tree falling in a forest and what-not...

Five hours numb, Lars catches cheap kottbuller on the wind. He's not even hungry: it's the promise of other people. He doesn't catch a uniform, or even a real profile of the man, but Lars beelines to the first source of footsteps he hears. He stands at the edge of the floor transition and starts waving frenetically. Take a picture with me! Laugh at me! Fuck, kick my ass! Anything–I'm so bored.

(( Do Swedes say fuck

 

[yourlocal-eboyy]

Stark walked through the open displays, his head down to pay attention to his phone and his phone only, not paying much mind to anything really. He was dragging his finger along the screen as he walked, trying in a note taking app to make some sort of map. On his makeshift map, there were multiple things crossed out or erased frantically, since everything seemed to be changing around him.

Though nothing would particularly peak his interest, a kitchen setup was the only thing caught his attention. Stark shifted from a walk to a run as he shoved his phone in his coat pocket. His long, dark hair swung in it’s ponytail behind him, catching some terminal velocity and slamming to a stop against his back as Stark himself came to a halt. The man curled down slightly as the tips of his exposed fingers ran along the granite countertop. He began to frantically open the cabinets of the display, in a desperate search for something.

The search was desperate, but amounted to nothing. He was looking for any sort of kitchenware. Forks, knives, god damn, a spoon would even suffice. Though, after his fruitless search, he’d pull his phone from his pocket, look down, mark this station, then cross it out. He continued his bouts, now, walking down the isles that become longer, endless, pointless. He had no idea know long he’d been walking at this point, but frankly, he didn’t care.

 

[Caffeine Freak]

Ryuji Yamazaki didn't even realise he was inside an alternate dimension until about hour five.

During this sweep through the neatly arranged complex, scrutinizing every visible product on display, Ryu had finally located the object of his deepest desires — a Svärd one-thousand-watt power blender, the elite of electric mixers. This dual-bladed monster could slice through swarms of fruit like it was nothing, with a capacity of up to two liters. Truly the forefront of Swedish engineering. Ryu hesitated before reaching for the box, contemplating whether he was even worthy enough to have such a honorable weapon in his arsenal, though he at last gave in, picking it up in shaking hands.

After rotating the box every which way, however, Ryu could not find the price tag. Stranger still, as he tucked the item underarm and set off to ask a member of staff, Ryu didn't manage to find anyone at all.

Hairs prickled across the back of his neck — a sensation Ryu had often felt the past, like right before an ambush. Indeed, he sensed great danger in this kitchen appliance section of IKEA.

Soon after this epiphany, Ryu attempted to make for the exit promised to him by the signs hanging above, though only succeeded in further ensnaring himself in the twisting maze of Swedish-designed furniture. The impossible reality of the situation rapidly dawned on him — he was trapped.

Determined to not give up hope, Ryu continued to press on, hoping that he would eventually happen upon an exit if he clung to the right hand side of the branching paths. Rather than a way out, however, Ryu stumbled into a clearing — one that revealed a seemingly decked out food court on the other side. It seemed too good to be true, and Ryu clung his electric mixer to his chest as he scanned the area for possible threats.

A giant silhouette caught his eye, and Ryu balked as what appeared to be a man-sized beast was waving at him.

"S-Stay back!" Ryu clenched his jaw, thrusting the box with both hands above his head. "I HAVE A BLENDER."

baggysack yourlocal-eboyy

 

[.Arteries.]

Rose had been wandering around here for hours. She had gotten lost, and still no sign of that chair.
Had it really been hours?
"This place seems like it goes on forever. Hopefully I can find a staff member or someone who can help me." She stated cheerfully as she jogged through the aisles.
After what another few hours she started to give up any and all hope. Rose began trying to back track, but everything appeared as if it had rearranged. She heard a voice and made her way towards the area that the sound originated from.

"Hello?"

Her voice echoed down an empty aisle. Damn, this place seemed deserted.
She turned a corner, seeing nothing but more and more furniture.
"Maybe I was imagining things."
Then, she heard another voice. She continued walking towards the sound. The smell of food caught her attention as she walked. She hadn't eaten since this morning, so she picked up her pace a bit to get there faster.
She turned a corner, and almost ran straight into a cabinet. She shook her head and turned in the other direction, when she movement in the corner of her eye. She turned around sharply, seeing a man with long, black hair at the other end of the aisle. She cautiously walked up to him.

"Hello. Do you know if the exit is nearby? I might have gotten a bit lost."

Then it dawned on her, that he might also he trapped in here.