Salvation In Suffering [Inactive]

[Tinker Bell]

Quinlan didn't look up at Alexander, his eyes stayed glued to the floor. He was afraid of Alexander reading everything. Then Alexander spoke again and Quinlan flinched. He felt angry at Alexander for talking about Alfa like that. Was it wrong that the first time he could get mad at Alexander was when he was talking about the guy Quinlan had never even met. He was definitely more scared though. Luckily Alexander just left the cafeteria after dropping the phone on the table. When he was out, Quinlan made sure his phone was okay. He couldn't bring himself to send Alfa a message back.


He felt silent tears start to go down his cheeks. What Alfa said had helped for a moment. However, it didn't help when his problem was very much present and his only help was through a phone. He sat there, knot in his stomach, tears still going down, until the bell rang. He forced himself to stop crying and wiped the tears. He left the cafeteria and made his way through the halls, eyes on the floor. Then he went to his class and sat down in a random desk.

 

[Kaeilia]

Alexander spent the rest of the day in a sort of daze. His nausea induced by anxiety seemed to ease off a little, but was ever present. He had one or two classes with Quinlan, but sat far away from him, and stewed in his own thoughts. He knew that it would be best to just appear normal... but he couldn't do it knowing now what he wish he'd known when the Doctor and Alfa had first begun to talk. Well... at least he could honestly say that he learned something new in school today...


Xander was feeling so off, that he even blew off some of his after school activities, feigning that his parents had lined up some kind of tour of some school. He kept the details vague, so that he wouldn't be caught in a lie, not that any of his friends really cared. They were about living in the here and now, something Xander was jealous of at different times. He was always living for the future and tomorrows, next weeks, days that may never come.


He wondered when he'd tell Quinlan, because now that he knew, he'd have to say something... Alfa couldn't just disappear right? Alright, he probably could. Go to another school, and just message instead but Xander didn't want to give up the friendship... Coming clean might do that for him... For the first time in a long time, the teen opted out of taking the bus and decided to walk home, pumping music into his hears in an attempt to drown out the thoughts whirling in his mind.

 

[Tinker Bell]

Quinlan made it through the day, his thoughts going back and forth between Alexander and Alfa. He did notice Alexander left him alone, sitting away from him. He was just glad that he could focus in class. He really couldn't focus when Alexander was around. He was too afraid of him to think of anything else besides what his next move could possibly be to even think about what the teachers were talking about.


When the day was over, he went to his locker and grabbed the things he needed. He started to walk home, grateful to be out of school. He hid his hands in the sleeves of his sweater. He looked up from the sidewalk and saw Alexander walking ahead of him. What was he doing walking home? He always took the bus. Quinlan counted on him taking the bus! They only lived a few houses down and Alexander taking the bus meant his walk home wasn't like school.


He kept his head down as he walked, staying behind Alexander. He hoped that Alexander kept his headphones on so he didn't hear Quinlan. He felt bad for thinking things like that, but he didn't know what he could do. He finally made it home and went inside. He went to his room and opened his computer. He started to do his homework and then he opened up his messages to Alfa.


JustTheDoctor: Hey...how was the rest of your day? Sorry I just sort of disappeared earlier...something just...came up


He felt like he needed to talk to Alfa. Even if it was just for a little bit it made him feel normal. He felt like he'd known Alfa forever, like if he met him on the street he'd know who he was.

 

[Kaeilia]

Alexander was more than a little distracted on his way home, and that's how he wanted to be. Sort of. The music worked, cutting him off from his surroundings, but the beat didn't stop the buzzing in his mind. He was so out of it that he nearly didn't see a car when crossing the street to his own house. He was sure that the drivers yelled an obscenity out the window, but he didn't take his headphones out to listen to whatever fresh insult they'd attempted to use to rile him up.


The moment he walked in the door, he bounded upstairs for his room, avoiding any possibility of talking to his parents. He didn't need them questioning why he was home at this hour, and they'd certainly press him to work on the college applications some more. Once in his room, he closed and locked his door, and leaned against it. All of the energy that Xander seemed to have gathered that day just sapped right out of him. He tossed his bag on the floor, and flopped down on his bed, pulling out his phone and stared at the black screen. He hadn't checked his messages since his altercation with Quinlan. With a sharp inhale of breath, he unlocked it and looked to see if he had any messages. Nothing. The Doctor hadn't mentioned what his bully had done... What he had done... Not yet.


Alexander got frustrated then. Not with the Doctor, or Quinlan, or... both, but with himself. This situation was just... It wasn't fair and he hated that he couldn't keep his cool. This was the one thing that could have happened to make him lose it... Ok, not the only thing, but it was definitely up there. Leaving the phone on his bed, he opened the door to his room and took a quick look down the hall. After making sure the coast was clear, he darted into the bathroom to take a shower. Even just a few minutes with the hot running water always made the teen feel better.


He stayed in longer than he intended. His five minutes turned into twenty, but upon emerging from the steamy room, he felt a little better. He could handle this. He would have to have Alexander back off with bullying and Alfa would have to start either fading away or pressing to meet. He didn't want either, really, but now that he knew the truth, he couldn't go back.


Once back in his room, Xander turned on his computer, and loaded up some different things, including where he received his messages from the Doctor. There was a new one, and seeing the little notification made his stomach churn again. Tentatively, he opened the message. The Doctor was being vague... And normally Alfa didn't press and today, he wouldn't... Because Alfa already knew what had happened.


AlfaDelta23: My day sucks, but it's better now that you're back. It's ok, just a little worried about you. That guy again? Or is it about your brother? You definitely don't have to tell me if you don't want to, no pressure here.


Only there was pressure... Quinlan just didn't know it, and Xander wasn't about to go out and tell him. He clicked send and waited for a response, closing his eyes and wishing he could go back to before he knew who the Doctor was. Go back to when the person on the other side was just that, in the screen.

 

[Tinker Bell]

Quinlan started his homework, leaving the page open as he waited for Alfa to get back to him. His computer dinged, new message. He set his math aside and read the message. He smiled a little bit when he read it. Alfa was definitely the kindest person he knew. And he didn't even know him, that was probably very sad.


JustTheDoctor: I'm sorry your day was bad. What happened? And yeah, that guy, he took my phone in lunch and I thought he was going to read all of the messages and see that I was talking about him...I wish I was invisible to him like I am to everyone else....things would be easier...


He hit send and waited a few seconds before doing his homework. His dog came in his room, pushing the door open and whining. "Oh, hey Bear, do you wanna go outside?" Bear got excited and Quinlan went downstairs and let him out in the backyard, then leaving the dog door open for him to get back in. He refilled his water and food dishes before grabbing himself a snack. Then he went back upstairs and sat back at his desk.

 

[Kaeilia]

It wasn't long before Alexander received a reply. He rushed to open it, just like he had the day before and every day since he'd met the Doctor. As he was reading and thinking of what to reply, he heard a dog in the distance, and thought of Quinlan. They had a dog... didn't they? He remembered being jealous of it when they were younger. Xander had never been permitted pets, which just added to the loneliness he felt. That he'd gotten pretty used to feeling.


AlfaDelta23: Nothing in particular happened. I'm just stressed out and junk. And he did what?! That would have just added fuel to the fire I'm glad he didn't! And you're definitely not invisible to me.


It was all too true... Quinlan had never been invisible. Him and Xander had even been friends when they were in very young grades, sort of. Not terribly close or anything, but they were on the same bus and the same age, which meant they'd stuck together for awhile. If they weren't friends, Alexander had been picking on the boy. Even online, as Alfa, Quinlan wasn't invisible. Was it weird how that worked? It almost made him wonder... no. He wouldn't let his mind go there.


He bit his lip, and sent the message, then added another little message as an afterthought. Because it's something he would have sent before all of today had happened, and a part of him still wanted to do it. The boy probably could use a hug, but he certainly wouldn't want it from his tormentor...


AlfaDelta23: *hugs*

 

[Tinker Bell]

Quinlan waited for a reply and when it came he smiled. Somehow Alfa always made him feel better. Then the second small message came and he smiled a little bit more. He was glad that someone understood. Well, maybe not understand exactly, but he tried to make Quinlan feel better. He stared at the screen for a few moments before typing back.


JustTheDoctor: Thanks, I don't what I'd do without you...you're the only one that makes me feel normal...wow...that sounded really...corny...sorry about that...and stressed? Your parents again?


He knew Alfa's parents pushed college hard. It probably wasn't very fun to have your parents on your back all the time. But it wasn't very fun to do it all yourself either. His dad was hardly around, between work and dating some new girl. Quinlan was hesitant to tell Alfa about that, so he had kept that bit of information to himself.

 

[Kaeilia]

Alexander waited a moment or two for his reply, and when he didn't see a message immediately, he turned the large stacks of folders and papers on his desk. He had already finished a number of essays and contacted teachers for proper letters of recommendations, but had yet to receive one. Right now, his priority was on essays for high school based scholarships, then he'd have to work his way to earn scholarships at each of the different schools he'd applied to. It sucked virtually all his free time away, but at least it kept him pretty busy. Sometimes, he was too busy to notice how unhappy he was. Sometimes.


When the ping of a message came, Xander finished the sentence he was working on, then checked it. He smiled, reading that he brightened the Doctor's day, but the smile quickly faded, knowing that he was also the one darkening it. And there, at the end, he changed the subject to talk more about him. The Doctor was often doing that, more comfortable with being a shoulder than talking about his own life. At least, that's the way their friendship primarily unfolded. It was a little embarrassing at first, to reveal all that he did to a stranger, but it was alright. Now that he knew who it was, it made it a little awkward. What if he said something that gave him away?


Carefully, Alexander began to type, putting more thought into how much information he gave than he hever had before.


AlfaDelta23: Yeah, working on scholarship essays. I've got like... 50 of them to do. I wish that was an exaggeration. I even blew off some after school stuff today to work on them, but I've barely written two sentences. I'm just feeling a little burnt out and distracted, is all.

 

[Tinker Bell]

Quinlan went back to his homework. Then another message came in. He felt bad for Alfa. No one should have to feel that kind of pressure from their parents. Parents were supposed to support you in whatever decisions you make. He shook his head, he wasn't one to talk about that. Still, he had to help Alfa in some way. He had to at least try in some way.


JustTheDoctor: Then take a break...watch a movie...read a book for fun...hang out with friends...or something...your essays won't be good if you're not focusing...get some metaphorical space...


That's what he did when he was stressed about something. If he could get space from it. Besides, when it was things for college, stress was not a good thing.

 

[Kaeilia]

This role play has been marked "inactive". Inactive role plays are defined as "role plays showing 0 activity within a 30 day period".


Please contact an @Rp Moderator if you feel this was a mistake or if you would like to have your role play reactivated.


Thank you for your participation within the RpNation!