Romance in Roleplays

[Rafi]

This is a subject that's come up twice for me in the past week or so, so it made me curious as to how other people view romance in roleplays.


Do you like romantic roleplays better than roleplays without romance? If so, why?


If you feel the opposite, why so?


For me, it really depends on the roleplay. While I generally avoid roleplays where romance is the sole driving factor, I think that it can certainly add to the characterization and storyline of a roleplay if approached properly. I was discussing this earlier today, and the problem I most often find with romantic rps is that once two main characters realize and accept that they have fallen for each other, it can ruin the tension between them, which can often help drive the rp forward.


Anyways, what are your guys' thoughts?

 

[~OneHellofAButler~]

I think it's on okay thing as long as it doesn't become the main focus of the rp (that's implying the rp was originally about something else). It's really irritating when you have this cool idea for an rp where the characters have the option of having a light(/nonimportant) romance but then the whole rp becomes about them getting together and blahblahlovestuffblahdrama.

 

[Kisu]

I think a lot of it depends on the type. Sometimes you arrange a roleplay with romance in mind, sometimes it's secondary. Sometimes, it's not needed or wanted at all, so it doesn't happen at all. When you don't have romance, I believe you get to focus more on building your character and the interactions with surroundings, npcs, and every the other pc(s). I think you get more storyline, and a longer roleplay with this first kind.


I don't like when characters are just meeting up, and you have the whole love at first sight thing. I think roleplays that do that usually end up boring, and you run out of things to do.


I do believe, however, that romance can be enhancing to the right roleplay, but not focused on. For example, say you were doing a rp with a Beauty and The Beast plotline. That would typically revolve around romance, however, again, I believe there is only so far you would be able to go with the roleplay. And I would be irritated it Bell and the Prince fell in love off the bat, because it would ruin him trying to win her over, ect., ect. So romance, in my mind, would be secondary to this kind of storyline. You'd need to focus on the various dynamics going on first, and let the romance come naturally to the characters. Develop over time.


However, other times, some people just want to let off steam and create roleplays just for the -cough- dirty scenes. I can see a plus here as well. My girlfriend isn't interested in exploring the various fantasies that are all around. If you just want to get an idea about it, or just have some fun, these are pretty cool. But, again, you have the previous problems, mainly they become boring quickly. Plus, if you are in a relationship, sometimes your partner may not be cool with this.


I guess what I am trying to say (inarticulately) is that it can go so many different ways depending on the characters you've selected, it all depends on the people who are doing the roleplay, and no matter which way you go, you have pros and cons.

 

[ElliasGee]

I very much enjoy an air of romance in my roleplays, but then again as stated previously before me it does depend on the type of romance that is taking place and who you are roleplaying with. Some people are better cut out for one topic over another (ie; being better at fighting roleplays than a mere day to day urban based roleplay) and then there are others who are just "in the mood" for that sort of thing.


Romance is usually a secondary theme for me due to the fact that I find it usually causes the roleplay to die down to a mere flicker. They often get slow or just boring in my opinion once the relationship is achieved in the roleplay. Half of the fun is the futility of getting to the point of romance, competing with others to get that number one spot, the drama of it all.


Give me lights, give me ferocity baby, give me action.


Flash, flash, cameras ready and prepare to blast


I like a lot of drama, not over the top drama, but something to get the blood pumping through my veins. If romance, especially the love at first sight ordeal, is the main game then there better be a lot of things going down to either prevent or hold back the overall goal of achieving the intimate ties which are desired. If it kind of just happens in a roleplay not based around it, more or less if it does "develop" between the characters, then it is always welcome, because there are other things to happen that will keep the roleplay alive.


Sorry to just pop on in here, but I wanted to give my opinion too :3

 

[Elle Joyner]

I never mind it, so long as it makes sense and it isn't the main focus of the RP. I can't stand when two character meet and instantaneously are making moony-eyes at each other. As in real life, storyline relationships take time to develop and YES, you can be attracted to someone right away, but flirting is different then romance.

 

[Lady Sabine]

I tend to prefer an element of romance in 1x1 RPs simply because there are a limited number of ways to bring two characters together in a truly interesting way. In group RPs, though, it has to actually add something. Romance to "spice up" a RP is boring and repetitive. When romance is a plot point, though, it can be fun.


Conflict is the key of every plot, though. I loathe happy couples.

 

[Ashurbanipal]

I like romance (and sex, which is similar but distinct) in my RP as a method of enriching my character experience and having an excuse to socially engage players I enjoy playing with. It gives me extra plot hooks, another layer of characterization, additional motives, and all the fun of lurid prose. Despite all of that, my characters habitually come across asexual and uninterested in romance simply because I rarely find a player compatible enough with me to want that dynamic, and absent it I don't really play out any sense of loneliness or longing. There's always work to be done.

 

[J0ker]

It is a plot device, not the plot device. Some folks seem to forget that.

 

[firejay1]

I understand that people like romance in RP's, and personally, I think I'd like it if one of my characters became romantically involved with another, but from my experience with romance RP's it really doesn't work for me. I enjoy reading and shipping other ppl's romance, but the few times I've branched out and tried romance the partner always ends up trying to turn it sexual in nature. What happened to being innocent and seeing more in loving someone of the opposite sex than their body? Other than that, none of my characters have really connected with others as anything more than friends and sibling-types. *shakes head. I think the problem is that fictional romance is so often forced, that the writers feel a gap there and feel like they have to compensate with action. Well, that's just my personal opinion. Other than that, I've found that I've really enjoyed roleplays where some of the other characters have gotten together, but it's a really minor side-plot, because it's so much fun rooting for someone else's love. Also, you just find a lot of literature, and comics, and movies, out there where romance is implied but never explored because the focus is on action. That is PARTICULARLY frustrating for me. In RP's you can kind of get the best of both worlds. But, maa, I'm still pretty new to roleplaying, what do I know right?

 

[Vampiricdoll]

I feel romance is an important part in roleplaying, but when you go too far it kind of ruins everything. I think that romance is alright and is needed in a roleplay to be interesting. But, I do think that when you go too far like getting married, or having sex, is very unneeded. We're just pretending, and there is no need for that kind of romance. Plus there is a rule against that, and I would suggest if people would listen to them. I had another account, where someone and I were in a roleplay and he wanted our characters to do sex, I find it very unpleasant when it goes to that. I kindly refused and tried ignoring him if he kept bothering me about it. I want more people to understand, that some of us roleplayers are more innocent than we appear, and we should try and be a bit more understanding of that. I've seen 8 year olds on this site, and I don't think they should know about that kind of stuff yet. To be honest, its very uncomfortable for me to see things like that happen. I'm alright was small romance, like hugs and kisses but I wouldn't go as far as sex. It's gross.

 

[Elle Joyner]

>_> All due respect, but this could also be because you're quite young. Tastefully done fade-to-black scenes can, in fact, add an entire new level of character depth and functionality in a roleplay, provided the timing is right and it adds to the storyline, rather than taking away from it. Tension is a powerful tool writers use in relationships, and can make character development much more interest and exciting.


That said - it HAS to be fade-to-black... In my opinion, not just because this site requires it, but because when you go into details with something intimate like that, you tend to make it clinical and dull... and it takes away the "mystery"...

 

[Sovereign]

[QUOTE="Elle Joyner]>_> All due respect, but this could also be because you're quite young. Tastefully done fade-to-black scenes can, in fact, add an entire new level of character depth and functionality in a roleplay, provided the timing is right and it adds to the storyline, rather than taking away from it. Tension is a powerful tool writers use in relationships, and can make character development much more interest and exciting.
That said - it HAS to be fade-to-black... In my opinion, not just because this site requires it, but because when you go into details with something intimate like that, you tend to make it clinical and dull... and it takes away the "mystery"...

[/QUOTE]
Could not have said it better myself.

 

[AkuTheWolfOkami]

When roleplaying sentient beings (specifically human beings) unless ALL of the characters don't mesh or suffers from a sort of social/emotional disorder, it would be quite foolish to purposely avoid romance. Note that I did not say mutual romance.


It is natural to be infatuated with another being, especially if that's all you are around for an extended period of time. It's inclusion in roleplays is only natural, right? It done tastefully -and naturally- adds another layer of humanity (or if not human - personality).


The love at first sight thing? It's far-fetched to say it isn't realistic. I've seen in it in real life. I've seen people get engaged a month after meeting. If you aren't comfortable enough to roleplay romance is a separate topic.


I'm Cory Rouse and remember when life's got you down...kick it into God mode and keep kicking butt.

 

[Ashurbanipal]

Yeah, sex is a no-no here. You can imply it, I believe, or even talk about it in non-explicit terms, but no bonin' on RPN. And that's a good rule, really, given roleplays can be read by anyone and participated in by almost anyone.


It's still useful as a character tool, and I'll indulge elsewhere, but you do have to remember some people don't like it and want to avoid it completely. Same as any other subject, really. You get folks who get squeamish over violence, too.

 

[Pineapple]

I'm fine with romance in roleplays, but i never plan for it. What what a character will like in a person is as unique and different as what you like in a person. This is why I don't actually like romance roleplay 1x1's - it seems unrealistic because in many of those it doesn't seem like the characters would even like each other, it's just being forced into the narrative. Normally because the characters are made in a vacuum from each other and then pushed together, rarely planned around each other.


Though, there is so much to life then romance. Friendship, family or ideals. You can have games that's about two friends bonding over an adventure. They can even be different genders, or both guys who happen to be gay. But you know what? They don't have to start making out and fall in love. Sometimes, people are just friends, they don't need to fall for each other.


Romance is fine, but honestly, it sometimes feels like romance is sometimes the author projecting themselves to live a fantasy (The game has only actions and basic dialogue, with no hint of individuality to the character), not writing and playing a character. I don't like that, because I'm not my characters obviously. I've had characters in relationships I would never want to be in, because it was the kind the character would want. But I guess... if you want to play that, go for it. That's the joy of being free to play whatever kind of game you want, right?

 

[Xander]

I think it depends entirely on the skill of the writers involved. I've been fortunate enough to write with some talented people who could have kept the quest for a jelly donut fascinating for weeks. With a talented partner romance could BE the driving force and it could still be great. On the other hand, with a mediocre counterpart even the most complex and driven plots can flop, so I say it'd all down to skill.

 

[Wreck]

Do you like romantic roleplays better than roleplays without romance? If so, why?

1. I won't say that I do, and I won't say that I don't. Here's why.


I don't plan for romance. If it happens, it happens. For me, I don't chase solely romantic plays simply because I find it boring and trivial. However, if I grow quite fond of who I'm in the play with I might bring up the potential romance scenario just to frisbee it: throw it out there and see where it goes. Typically however I won't even try to pursue romance if it's... fluffy. I enjoy darker, more taboo romantic scenarios if I was looking for that. But I won't go into any more here.


I do not think that romance is an essential part of any play. Playing romance scenes and the like takes away from the story. Yes, you could argue that it furthers character development but only externally, give the characters and external locus, and the rest is basically cotton candy. Imagine a play where you couldn't grow your character form the inside out and instead from the outside in. Such thoughts give me shivers. I think also part of it is personal, and that's all I'll say about that.

 

[Ducky]

Cool if it does, no biggie if it doesn't. For adding depth to my character, I like familial relationships better. I've paired up with people to do brother/sister and father/daughter relationships in a group RP. In both cases I think it worked out pretty well. As far as romance goes, there has to be chemistry between the characters before I even consider it. Sometimes I'll set up an "offscreen romance" where my character is in a long distance relationship with someone. The relationship or the SO will be mentioned in conversation or my narrative will bring it up, but the romance itself is never role played. I'll do it to add to the character's story without having to put much focus on the relationship.

 

[simj26]

Hokay, before I start, I gotta say something. I sound rough, aight, and I really try my damndest to sound less hostile. Aight, dudes, please try to read my words in the least threatening way possible, and take note that this is MY OWN opinion, I ain't forcin' it on any body, and I ain't tryna change nobody. That having said, I expect you guys to be cool enough respect my opinion, give criticism where it's due, and not yell at me for having a mind capable of forming opinions. We cool? Aight, cool. Thanks.


I agree with @Pineapple. Dude's got a real point there. Romance needs be delivered with tact and precision, and shouldn't be rushed. It also, however, doesn't NEED to happen in every given RP. In fact, long gone are the days when I can find an RP with a non-romantic heterosexual couple of differing sex. I honestly find that a close knit friendship is a much more precious thing than someone you can call your own, because face it, you'll always leap to your brother/sister of another mother's defense faster than a speeding bullet, than you will throw your life down for just some girl you like. That's just, like, my opinion though, since I treasure my friends more than I treasure romance. (Ain't no one gonna mess with my homies, know what I mean? You mess wit my brothers, you mess wit me.).


However, a close-knit friendship that morphs into a romance that is also close-knit is, pardon my French, fucking adorable. You walk down the street, and you see the guy and gal who were like glue and super glue back in the day hanging out together as a married couple, you gon think "Shit, dey gon die together and get buried together." It ain't obnoxious. It's cute. What's obnoxious is how people tend to play romance as "Wow, I like dat ass (or some other prominent feature upon the girl/guy's physique, such as his/her face, which is silly since age destroys beauty, unless you're Helen Mirren, bless her soul)", and decide to hit it, and the other dude/dudette reciprocates. Unless, of course, the hitter is ugly, and-- Hahahahahahahahahahaha *sigh*, I'm sorry, it's just...I've never seen an ugly character during my expeditions into the depths of the character sheets. I'm going off topic. Let me get back on track.


What I'm trying to say is, in essence: A shit delivered romance is shit. Whether the RP is focused on romance or not, it's shit. There's no way you can call that a scented chocolate frosting if the whole deal just slams down on the table, ya know. If there's no lead up to the confession or the realisation, the cologne you're spraying so desperately at the pile of dung stops working, and starts making it worse. If there's a proper lead up, a proper climax before the resolution, then that's what makes a romantic deal a romantic deal. Gotta let it build a little, get the sexual tension so strong you gon be able to cut it wid a butter knife. You gotta feel the crowd going wild for the resolution! You gotta feeeeeel the characters, man. You gotta communicate with your RP partner! Talk with em, discuss how you wanna build the tension! If you're self-inserting, get the heck on outta here! You gotta breathe life inna ya characters! They're not skins for you to wear, dumbass! You want em to be happy! You want em to get the gal/guy!


Though, of course, this sort of romance is better delivered in a non-romantic-focused RP. I never liked romantically-focused RPs since it's so whassat word, 'awkward'. I'm the type of dude that doesn't watch sappy romance films. I'm the type of dude that likes dudes that like dudes that like dudes that likes a major, over-hanging plot with the romance being a sub-plot, like The Girl Who Leapt Through Time. I feel a little bit closer to characters that forge bonds, whether romantic or non-romantic, through brimstone and fire, namely the plot events.


In a shellnut, romance in non-romantic RP is super fuckin' great if delivered properly. Romance in Romantic RPs is really great if delivered properly. Hastily delivered romance in either genres can take a hike right to hell and burn with the rest of the damned.

 

[Dreadpool]

It varies. If it's interesting, I'll go for it. There was a time, however, when I got dreadfully bored with romance, and just tried to rush the characters together.

 

[Skelo10]

I find romance alright, I actually prefer it but it really depends on what the roleplay is about. For example, if it was based on World War II, I wouldn't find it appropriate. If I become part of a romance in a roleplay myself it's usually in the modern or fantasy area.

 

[Ducky]

Well said, @simj22. I don't think you sounded hostile at all.


I agree about not rushing into romance. More often than not it seems like people are willing to rush into a romance right out of the gate. It takes me a little bit to find my own footing with the character let alone set something up with someone else.

 

[Ashurbanipal]

There's value to rushing into a romance--many, many stories thrive on the drama of the uncertain, that ultimate question will they or won't they? And that's fine, that drama can be fun.. but very often it's overplayed, drawn out too far, especially when the audience knows the answer is they will, it'll just take for god damn ever.


And, indeed, by drawing it out so much, by making such an enormous deal of it, you paradoxically make the story more about the romance than you would if it was rushed into. Mystery draws the eye, tension fills us with nail-biting interest, and the inability to be decisive on an issue suggests it is a magnificently important one.


Meanwhile, if you just hook up and continue on, except now you have a romantic partner, that's a big deal but it's not blowing trumpets and demanding fanfare. You can explore the romantic avenue of play and integrate it non-obstructively into everything else.


Like my character, as seen in my avatar! He has one thousand brides, and he didn't mind rushing. It would have taken too long otherwise.

 

[Pineapple]

Warning I have cleaned up the thread. Do not attack, insult, or belittle people. You can discuss opinions about romance in roleplays and their relations to characters in them. Do not use this thread to discuss or debate the views of other users on their own personal life. Unless you are adding something constructive to the discussion on romance in relation to characters in a roleplay, you are not welcome in this thread.