Experiences Rant/Venting of Demoralisation

[Unwavering Knight]

I don't usually indulge in practices such as these, preferring to simply move on and try something different. But as I have experienced the same process repeat itself over and over, I have gained something of a despairing edge, sufficient to necessitate this outlet here.

I am so very tired of initiating contact with people appearing to share similar interests to mine, followed by plotting and discussion of characters, only to have it all come to nothing when my partner inevitably ceases contact with me. I am trying to give plenty of room for them, I make suggestions on where to steer the current situation, I make sure not to let more than a week pass between my replies, so as to reaffirm to them my interest for our ongoing collaboration. I make sure not to pressure them too much, only asking for their well-being if they don't bother replying after up to two weeks of silence. I always make sure to ask if they are comfortable with the direction the RP is going, offering to change things up if they find themselves in need of more direct attention.

I make sure to bury my apprehensions if my partner takes their time replying, I try to engage in light-hearted small talk in the OOC without coming across as needy, just to keep a line of conversation going.

Naturally, none of this appears to have affected the eventual outcome of complete silence on part of the partner, leading me to wonder if it's perhaps me that is the problematic part of the equation. I begin to doubt every one of my actions. I am uncertain, even if I make sure to evaluate every single step I take in the communication between my partners and I, do I come across as too forceful after all? Too intent on making things work even if there appears to be a mismatch between us? Am I in the wrong to remind my partners that I am still interested in the RP after weeks of silence? To offer editing my posts if they require anything else to react to?

I am left with a bitter aftertaste, doubting the entire process and come to no conclusion.

 

[Hachi Machi]

I don't usually indulge in practices such as these, preferring to simply move on and try something different. But as I have experienced the same process repeat itself over and over, I have gained something of a despairing edge, sufficient to necessitate this outlet here.

I am so very tired of initiating contact with people appearing to share similar interests to mine, followed by plotting and discussion of characters, only to have it all come to nothing when my partner inevitably ceases contact with me. I am trying to give plenty of room for them, I make suggestions on where to steer the current situation, I make sure not to let more than a week pass between my replies, so as to reaffirm to them my interest for our ongoing collaboration. I make sure not to pressure them too much, only asking for their well-being if they don't bother replying after up to two weeks of silence. I always make sure to ask if they are comfortable with the direction the RP is going, offering to change things up if they find themselves in need of more direct attention.

I make sure to bury my apprehensions if my partner takes their time replying, I try to engage in light-hearted small talk in the OOC without coming across as needy, just to keep a line of conversation going.

Naturally, none of this appears to have affected the eventual outcome of complete silence on part of the partner, leading me to wonder if it's perhaps me that is the problematic part of the equation. I begin to doubt every one of my actions. I am uncertain, even if I make sure to evaluate every single step I take in the communication between my partners and I, do I come across as too forceful after all? Too intent on making things work even if there appears to be a mismatch between us? Am I in the wrong to remind my partners that I am still interested in the RP after weeks of silence? To offer editing my posts if they require anything else to react to?

I am left with a bitter aftertaste, doubting the entire process and come to no conclusion.

Repetitive communication is always a necessity to ensure a roleplay continues. Without communication, people may forget, or get disinterested in the roleplay. At least, that's what I'm assuming due to my past experiences. I think as long as you told your roleplay partner beforehand that you'd be communicating frequently, you shouldn't be coming off as forceful, unless the tone in your messages is forceful. Honestly, if I were in your shoes, I would just stop trying to make it work. It's clear that your partner doesn't want to roleplay the idea anymore, nor do they want to contribute with the roleplay. You're not wrong in reminding your partners, as long as you both agreed to send reminders. It just depends on the individual, and you can't change how others act.

 

[SirBlazeALot]

I don't usually indulge in practices such as these, preferring to simply move on and try something different. But as I have experienced the same process repeat itself over and over, I have gained something of a despairing edge, sufficient to necessitate this outlet here.

I am so very tired of initiating contact with people appearing to share similar interests to mine, followed by plotting and discussion of characters, only to have it all come to nothing when my partner inevitably ceases contact with me. I am trying to give plenty of room for them, I make suggestions on where to steer the current situation, I make sure not to let more than a week pass between my replies, so as to reaffirm to them my interest for our ongoing collaboration. I make sure not to pressure them too much, only asking for their well-being if they don't bother replying after up to two weeks of silence. I always make sure to ask if they are comfortable with the direction the RP is going, offering to change things up if they find themselves in need of more direct attention.

I make sure to bury my apprehensions if my partner takes their time replying, I try to engage in light-hearted small talk in the OOC without coming across as needy, just to keep a line of conversation going.

Naturally, none of this appears to have affected the eventual outcome of complete silence on part of the partner, leading me to wonder if it's perhaps me that is the problematic part of the equation. I begin to doubt every one of my actions. I am uncertain, even if I make sure to evaluate every single step I take in the communication between my partners and I, do I come across as too forceful after all? Too intent on making things work even if there appears to be a mismatch between us? Am I in the wrong to remind my partners that I am still interested in the RP after weeks of silence? To offer editing my posts if they require anything else to react to?

I am left with a bitter aftertaste, doubting the entire process and come to no conclusion.

From my experience dog, most RPers are just flakey as fuck. You gotta keep going and keep searching before you find someone who's really gonna stick with you, and you gotta be aware that the chances are very very slim. There are tons of people on this site who just join RPs and quit them two weeks afterward and they're the majority. You'll eventually find someone who'll stick with you but it's like catching lightning in a bottle. I see nothing wrong with your approach you just gotta keep at it. I hate to make this comparison but it's a lot like dating. It just won't work out long term with most people. But eventually you'll find the perfect partner.

I dunno if you're a fan of group roleplays, but I've met my most committed partners in them. Group roleplays take a bunch of players and then show you who is and isn't reliable. The ones who end up dropping are the unreliable ones. But the ones who are there and ready to post up until the point the RP dies, those are the guys you should hit up for 1x1s. Good luck amigo!

 

[Terrabreak]

In some way I have been part of this on both ends. Just start the rp before the othet disappear from this plane of existence so I know how frustrating it must be.
On the other hand, lately whenever I plan to start an rp, design the world and create our characters my interest completly drops and leave (I do tell my partner thou, just going ninja on them is such a low move).
Like the others have said in the end its just a matter of patience until you find someone with the same interests and desire to keep the idea going that you do.

 

[Bacon is fluffy]

Unwavering Knight I'd hate to sound like one of those flakes, but perhaps you should stop being so invested right away? Rp is not a solo activity and no matter how much drive you have, it's not guaranteed to be equal in your partner.

Do your best and just keep looking around. That's about all you can do. You have the right approach but sound like you're developing the wrong attitude. There's hope. You're not wrong for trying super hard. But you gotta be prepared for everything to fall apart. Especially if the success of the rp hinges on the contributions of another person so heavily.

 

[Windsock]

See shit, Talk shit.

 

[Sifra]

Knight don't doubt yourself it the others are self absorbed a holes. If they are like that it's better to be rid of them.

 

[Sibelle Grey]

I feel like if you're the sort of person to lose interest very quickly, you should be upfront about that. There's nothing wrong with losing interest. There is something wrong with making someone think you'll stick around just to drop off the face of the Earth because "well, I'm just not feeling it anymore".
There's nothing wrong with putting effort into something you and a partner will both enjoy. I think you're going about it exactly the right way. I honestly don't think the issue's with you. You're just happening upon some very flaky people, and that sucks.

Maybe discuss this with people before you plan. Just a quick, "So, are you the type to lose interest quickly and just disappear?" If they say they are, then it's up to you to decide whether you want to continue. If they say they aren't and then still disappear without a goodbye, then you know they're awful and you never roleplay with them again.

Y'all. Guys. It is perfectly okay not to want to continue a roleplay. You do not owe anyone a roleplay. You do owe someone the courtesy of not wasting their time and interest. It's rude and unnecessary, and it costs absolutely nothing to type out: "Hey, so I'm not feeling the plot/compatibility/interest anymore and I'd like to stop here. Thank you for your time." They will not eat you.