PetrifiedChild
rat
Hello. I might have DID and I've noticed I'm unhappy in the life the other person in my head has. This server, where I've tried to stay the last few months since fronting, just honestly is so exclusive. Like why? These are my "friends", right? Well, the other person's friends. I'm trying to keep contact, be nice, fix up and get people talking again (They excluded one person so much she's all but left, but I've been fixing this.)
This other me even stopped roleplaying too, mostly because of the existence of one specific channel in the server.
There's about 8 or 9 of us in the server, and one channel has 3 people's characters in it. No one else is allowed to interact, or chat in that channel. They only interact with each other, have even started a romance, and when the other me asked to participate (early on, mind you, before most of this... foundation started, when it was just 2 of them!) they wouldn't let me.
I even suggested multiple solutions of us interacting with each other, all were shot down.
Since fronting, I've mentioned before how it's a bit not good to have that channel: but no one will acknowledge me. I'm not very dramatic, I just... Don't interact, at that point. Lol. I'm sad, sure, but it doesn't seem like a huge problem.
But when 2 others have DM'd me multiple times to express their discomfort, how exclusive it feels, hurtful that they're constantly ignored, neglected, where as I've said another person (SO not just the other me) Has stopped roleplaying because of it.
Is it appropriate? It's a private roleplay, shouldn't they do that in their own private area, so we don't have to see? It's not like our characters are friends, they NEVER speak in the "chat" (We have a channel where all those characters can interact. Those 3 peoples characters? Hardly ever interact).
I just want to know if others' deem it appropriate? I've made a second discord for this other person in my head, and I've added them to the server, but if everyone thinks this is appropriate or something I'm just leaving. The other me in my head can continue to be their friends, but me? I'm not their friend. I'm ready to move on. I just want to know if this is real, or something in my head. (... 3 Of our heads?)
Thank you. Any more detail needed, please ask. (Thank you for moving it to where it's supposed to be, the thread.
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Edit: They were all good people, it seems. I was wrong. I ruined everything. Thank you for your help, everyone, but I shouldn't have ever said anything. Have a good day.
Edit # 2: Actually, they knew they were mistreating me. I am now not friends with those people. They must have been embarrassed at being called out on their poor behavior, and shamed me into thinking I was wrong. I eventually started using drugs instead of having friends. With those friends gone though, I stopped using eventually because nothing else was wrong in my life.
The other person left the server too, eventually. The other one excluded.
I am better now, have OSDD, and am not friends with these people who knew they were isolating me and making me feel alone. I am married and have a good job and prefer to focus on my irl life over the online life I once had. I hope everyone also finds and keeps their worth that perhaps read all this. Find people who care about your feelings, instead of denying them and shaming you.
This other me even stopped roleplaying too, mostly because of the existence of one specific channel in the server.
There's about 8 or 9 of us in the server, and one channel has 3 people's characters in it. No one else is allowed to interact, or chat in that channel. They only interact with each other, have even started a romance, and when the other me asked to participate (early on, mind you, before most of this... foundation started, when it was just 2 of them!) they wouldn't let me.
I even suggested multiple solutions of us interacting with each other, all were shot down.
Since fronting, I've mentioned before how it's a bit not good to have that channel: but no one will acknowledge me. I'm not very dramatic, I just... Don't interact, at that point. Lol. I'm sad, sure, but it doesn't seem like a huge problem.
But when 2 others have DM'd me multiple times to express their discomfort, how exclusive it feels, hurtful that they're constantly ignored, neglected, where as I've said another person (SO not just the other me) Has stopped roleplaying because of it.
Is it appropriate? It's a private roleplay, shouldn't they do that in their own private area, so we don't have to see? It's not like our characters are friends, they NEVER speak in the "chat" (We have a channel where all those characters can interact. Those 3 peoples characters? Hardly ever interact).
I just want to know if others' deem it appropriate? I've made a second discord for this other person in my head, and I've added them to the server, but if everyone thinks this is appropriate or something I'm just leaving. The other me in my head can continue to be their friends, but me? I'm not their friend. I'm ready to move on. I just want to know if this is real, or something in my head. (... 3 Of our heads?)
Thank you. Any more detail needed, please ask. (Thank you for moving it to where it's supposed to be, the thread.
)Edit: They were all good people, it seems. I was wrong. I ruined everything. Thank you for your help, everyone, but I shouldn't have ever said anything. Have a good day.
Edit # 2: Actually, they knew they were mistreating me. I am now not friends with those people. They must have been embarrassed at being called out on their poor behavior, and shamed me into thinking I was wrong. I eventually started using drugs instead of having friends. With those friends gone though, I stopped using eventually because nothing else was wrong in my life.
The other person left the server too, eventually. The other one excluded.
I am better now, have OSDD, and am not friends with these people who knew they were isolating me and making me feel alone. I am married and have a good job and prefer to focus on my irl life over the online life I once had. I hope everyone also finds and keeps their worth that perhaps read all this. Find people who care about your feelings, instead of denying them and shaming you.
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