Persona a new investigation team

now hated TV show


Also is his story sarcastic or random


and does it have a happy or unhappy ending
 
It all started when our (former porn) star, Shiro Okami, woke up in a fanstic pumpkin patch. It was the ninth time it had happened. Feeling alarmingly puzzled, Shiro Okami deflowered a ninja star, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Heart filled with earnest fortitude, he realized that his beloved chocolate was missing! Immediately he called his vicariously jealous friend, Robin. Shiro Okami had known Robin for (plus or minus) 2,000 years, the majority of which were eccentric ones. Robin was unique. He was plucky though sometimes a little... funny-smelling. Shiro Okami called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.


Robin picked up to a very angry Shiro Okami. Robin calmly assured him that most venomous koalas belch before mating, yet disease-carrying chipmunks usually exotically panic *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Shiro Okami. Why was Robin trying to distract Shiro Okami? Because he had snuck out from Shiro Okami's with the chocolate only six days prior. It was a enticing little chocolate... how could he resist?


It didn't take long before Shiro Okami got back to the subject at hand: his chocolate. Robin shuddered. Relunctantly, Robin invited him over, assuring him they'd find the chocolate. Shiro Okami grabbed his hammock and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Robin realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the chocolate and he had to do it skillfully. He figured that if Shiro Okami took the neighborhood-terrorizing crotch rocket, he had take at least ten minutes before Shiro Okami would get there. But if he took the bike? Then Robin would be abnormally screwed.


Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, Robin was interrupted by eight oafish giraffes that were lured by his chocolate. Robin turned red; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling relieved, he deftly reached for his gerbil and aptly slapped every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the foxy forest, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the bike rolling up. It was Shiro Okami.


----o0o----


As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at Texaco to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a inept leap, Shiro Okami was out of the bike and went explosively jaunting toward Robin's front door. Meanwhile inside, Robin was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the chocolate into a box of gerbils and then slid the box behind his hippopotamus. Robin was relieved but at least the chocolate was concealed. The doorbell rang.


'Come in,' Robin explosively purred. With a calculated push, Shiro Okami opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some dimwitted zealous...zealot in a pimp fresh, candy-painted 'Lac,' he lied. 'It's fine,' Robin assured him. Shiro Okami took a seat just under where Robin had hidden the chocolate. Robin belched trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Shiro Okami was distracted. Just as zero people expected Robin noticed a abrasive look on Shiro Okami's face. Shiro Okami slowly opened his mouth to speak.


'...What's that smell?'


Robin felt a stabbing pain in his scalp when Shiro Okami asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the chocolate right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A pestering look started to form on Shiro Okami's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's dull pencils from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Shiro Okami nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before Robin could react, Shiro Okami recklessly lunged toward the box and opened it. The chocolate was plainly in view.


Shiro Okami stared at Robin for what what must've been eight millseconds. Just as zero people expected Robin groped earnestly in Shiro Okami's direction, clearly desperate. Shiro Okami grabbed the chocolate and bolted for the door. It was locked. Robin let out a enticing chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Shiro Okami,' he rebuked. Robin always had been a little funny-smelling, so Shiro Okami knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before Robin did something crazy, like... start chucking carrots at him or something. A few unsatisfying minutes later, he gripped his chocolate tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.


Robin looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Shiro Okami. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame six days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Shiro Okami. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. Robin walked over to the window and looked down. Shiro Okami was gone.


----o0o----


Just yonder, Shiro Okami was struggling to make his way through the foxy forest behind Robin's place. Shiro Okami had severely hurt his fingernail during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral giraffes suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the chocolate. One by one they latched on to Shiro Okami. Already weakened from his injury, Shiro Okami yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of giraffes running off with his chocolate.


But then God came down with His congenial smile and restored Shiro Okami's chocolate. Feeling relieved, God smote the giraffes for their injustice. Then He got in His wannabe go-fast Civic and bolted away with the fortitude of 20 man-eating capybaras running from a teensy pack of long-haired sea monkeys. Shiro Okami tripped with joy when he saw this. His chocolate was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in two minutes his favorite TV show, Two and a Half Men, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When man-eating capybaras meet ebola'). Shiro Okami was relieved. And so, everyone except Robin and a few bloody glove-toting long-haired sea monkeys lived blissfully happy, forever after.
 
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