P.D.A - Paranormal Defense Agency

Name: Leceel Aludore


Nickname(s): "Old-man", "Hermit"



Gender: Male



Age: 31



Class: Asset



Power: Insane strength/endurance. More so in his left arm than the rest of his body.



Mutation: Leceel can let his left arm "invade" more of his body, resulting in tribal markings and similar flowing over him. This causes his endurance and reflexes to increase massively, but he also loses all self-control. He only utilizes this when very hard-pressed and NEVER when there are people around he needs to protect.



Abilities: Highly intelligent/knowledgable. He is a rather proficient doctor for matters of both mundane and supernatural (though by no means an expert on either). He also has a great deal of knowledge when it comes to the darker creatures of the world, especially with regards to those that can be tied to ancient mythos.



Personal weapons: None. If he absolutely has to fight, he will utilize what nature, or the surreal nature, has given him.



Weaknesses: While Leceel has survived a great many possibly lethal encounters, that is usually due to his ability to
avoid a battle rather than win it. He has no formal combat training, as well as next to no battle experience, though he prefers it that way. He can be extremely over-protective of others, especially if they are younger than him, to the point where he has nearly killed himself to do so. If he lets himself become . . . "Primal" then he is as much a danger to his would-be allies as he is to his enemies. This state threatens if he is around too many people for an extended period of time. He has enough mental fortitude to stay with one or two others pretty much indefinitely, but beyond that there is a palpable limit. This is especially problematic in crowded cities. this primal craving is also more difficult to resist in the presence of blood.


Personality: Leceel is a genuinely friendly person, but prefers to keep people at an arm's length. He is also genuinely helpful, but will ask people to leave once their business is concluded. In short, he likes people, but is afraid of what prolonged contact with them could result in. Not for his own safety, but theirs.



Background: Leceel's earliest memories were of pain. He doesn't know if he's had it since birth, or if something infected him and jumpstarted his memories at that point, but his left arm is quite possibly the furthest thing from human on this earth. He was in a broken and abandoned building, unaware of the outside world. He never knew his parents, he doesn't know now if they abandoned him or if they died somehow. What he does know is everything following that. Every time he tried to go outside, people cried "monster" and hurt him or run away from him. His entire childhood passed by like that, living off of what scraps he could. When he became old enough to understand how to hide his deformation, he found the second problem: a beastial craving that had lingered within this . . . "appendage". This would awaken if he stayed near people to long, and he would become a mindless monster. He knew to run away from settlements to ensure no one was hurt. Because, despite everything he had experienced, he had seen good in humanity. Whether watching from the shadows, or even when a small act of kindness was poised to him (of course, with his deformation hidden), he liked people. He also saw creativity and love through their arts. Whenever he found a book, he would read it from start to finish, whether it was a nursery rhyme or a 500 page novel. The PDA found him at the age of 14, where he begged them to confine him away from people, so he would never be able to hurt them unwittingly. He has spent the last 17 years locked in the basement of the PDA headquarters. It is a massive vault, thick enough to withstand several tons of explosives. The lock can only be opened from the inside, via the use of console that holds a basic puzzle (basic for his level of intelligence anyway), this puzzle changes randomly every five minutes. The idea of course, being that it can only be opened to let him out or others in if he has the capacity for rational thought. Inside is furnished almost like a large library, carrying books on just about every subject you could imagine. He generally does not go out on missions, but gives advice to those who come and ask for it.



Appearance:
View attachment 10945


Left Arm: Leceel's left arm is a monstrous aberration. It hangs down all the way to his knees, and is twice as thick as his human arm. Black scales adorn random patches while thick black fur pops up everywhere else. This appendage ends in a massive clawed hand, much larger than his human hand. Despite the significantly greater girth of this limb, it does not bother Leceel in terms of movement. His left arm is wrapped in a thick cast, holding the forearm close to the base arm, and generally held to his chest with cloth wrappings of some sort as a means to keep it out of his way. He does not utilize it unless battle is necessary. This is what spurred Leceel's initial research into the supernatural. However, despite all the information he has found (most of it useful in some form or another) he still has no clue as to the origins of his arm, what sort of beast it may be similar to, or why it even exists.



(Hope I didn't take too many liberties with his confinement >.<)
 
*confused*


Also... the whole "One Special Bullet for Each Person" thing... no es gusta.
 
I thought the same thing beta...then I went to check exactly how these bullets would need to be made; and there aren't that many special weaknesses. It would simply need to be a non ferric hollow round that had some form of strong antivirus inside. Effectively bypassing everyone's defenses (at least those accepted so far)
 
But one... The Patawawa Virus is as of yet incurable. Two... Vincent's body has many different viruses AND poisins in it ( although a bullet is a bullet as far as killing him goes ). Three... one and two. Four... Cheesecake. Five... Aside from "Pat" as I've begun to call the virus Riddle made... there isn't much so far that can't be killed with a standard bullet in the chest/brain.
 
[MENTION=3746]ForgeKeeper[/MENTION]


I'm not trying to be a nag, but I've been waiting for a couple of days with the character I posted. I don't mind if he's not going to fit, I just need an answer one way or the other
 
First off let me start by saying I was asked to perform these character reviews by the leader of the thread as his chosen Co-Gm; mostly because of how stringent my balance control’s are. I apologize if my reviews are construed as harsh.


@Rokku Hizori


Aaron Hadrian Character Review.


Ability to control spirits (Forced) poses a severe chance of acquiring any bit of knowledge in the game merely by asking said spirits to sit around every room (after all you put no limits on the contracted spirits number); more over, because people cannot normally see ghosts, they can effectively attack with immense impunity.


Proposed changes 1: Spirits cannot effect material creatures either; limit spirit number.


Proposed changes 2: Spirits are visible during combat (and harm-able in some reasonable fashion; limit spirit number


Moving on to weaknesses. The “He has no innate magical abilities” kind of goes out the metaphorical window the moment you give a person a CLEAR magical ability in the way of CONTROLLING SPIRITS. Sure you have poor aim, and no combat abilities…but walk over the grave of a few spooks from WW2 and suddenly you have an army of spirits walking about doing your business for you whether they want to or not, for however long as you care to hold them. Yeah…i’m going to have to say no.


Moving on to background is where I have the most problem with your character period. You take the ‘I control spirits’ thing about a few dozen steps further by adding Angels an Demons into the mix; then take it a few BILLION steps further by adding GODS!


As if these weren’t enough, you go so far as to spawn a “Powerful criminal organization” which is centered on the “Trafficking of human souls as slaves and rare and exotic spirits” which could easily just be a way of saying “I have an army under my control” which is a no fly zone for anyone with any with any sense. If THAT wasn’t enough your very first spirit is one of said gods, and if that wasn’t enough, after all that set up…you go ahead and create some unspecified summoner catastrophe that kills off your father (after he accepts you as the heir to the organization); give yourself HIS GOD also…and make no mention of the organization collapsing (so you have THAT too)


Right now I’d have to say; major revision or bust....your power level is CLEARLY over 9000


@Ixidor92


Leceel Aludore Character Review


Insane Strength and endurance? Exactly how INSANE is insane I have to wonder.


Proposed Changes: Produce a specific number or give some example of his overall strength when in aberrant form or with his aberrant arm.


I personally have no real problems with your mundane abilities; I however am not the head GM and so I pose that I have no idea how much actual information he’s willing to give when it comes to the “darker creatures of the world” tied to “ancient mythos”. As such my may not be getting as much bang for your buck with this ability. If this were one of my written RP’s you’d be fine with that much though.


Moving on to weaknesses is where I start to have a little issue. You WANT the weakness ‘not knowing much about fighting’ but that is far to easily made up for by the enhanced strength and endurance, effectively nullifying it. I’ve also never considered being “extremely over protective” to be that much of a weakness. The reason for which is how easy it is to simply “change opinions” on people you are to feel these attachments to. Produce a tangible weakness please.


Your history, which includes being found at the age of 14 by PDA produces a considerable amount of time that you’ve known about the organization (something forge seemed to have a bit of issue with when it came to Alexina’s elf character and so you may run into a few issues there). I also have to question when exactly he had time to learn to fight in the 14 years he lived before going to IPAD considering that there is probably nobody wanting to teach him (according to your history) and he would have to spend much of his time gathering the things he needed to survive.


That said, I actually like the fairly well thought out means for him to leave the cage you mention him being in (assuming he wasn’t a mindless, flesh craving, super strong and never tiring…thing). I would accept this character after being informed on it’s strength, and how easy it is to force a change into his aberrant form.
 
[MENTION=3957]Pristine Dark[/MENTION]


Thank you for the input, here are some of the things you asked for.



Insane power:



-Arm singularly: Has about enough strength to lift up a 500 lbs and throw with some effort



-Human form, non-arm: Enough strength to lift up a full-grown man with some effort and throw him



-Mutated: Can pick up and throw a full-sized car with little effort



Endurance:



-Arm singularly: Never tires, at least to his knowledge. It may be because he doesn't use it that often, but he has yet to cause strain by over-using it. It is also durable enough to withstand cannon-fire. (though the rest of his body may not withstand the force)



-Human form, non-arm: Physical endurance is not much greater than a rather well-built grown man. The major difference being he keeps himself locked in a library instead of constantly training. His durability increase is barely noticeable. Punches hurt him slightly less, and some bullets that would go clean through a human being don't go all the way through him.



-Mutated: Endurance is difficult to measure, as it never performs mundane tasks. After taking over, it will rampage for around 6-8 hours at full speed before it finally exhausts itself and collapses. Durability-wise is rather ridiculous. Swords break, bullets ricochet, basically any small attack is ineffective. Massive impact still breaks through, as well as fire and explosives. Also, while resistant to magical effects, he doesn't appear to be immune to them in this form.



Weaknesses:



-With regards to his history, you're right, he wouldn't hold any formal combat training of the sort. So his battle capability is even less than I had originally anticipated. I do know for a fact that (strength aside) there is a vast gulf between the capability to fight and the ability to fight. Even if his brain can plan out what needs to be done, and his arm holds a lot of strength, his reflexes and lack of training will get in the way. Something I fully intend to be certain is illustrated during the rp.



-As for him being over-protective, the basic idea there is that even though he lacks the skills of someone who has been through combat time and time again, that won't stop him from diving directly in front of a bullet for someone he barely, or even flat-out doesn't, know. Still, that could be argued as a strength rather than a weakness.



-Now probably the biggest one, how easy is it to force him into his abberant form? In short, it is extremely difficult. He has lived with this thing for as long as he can remember, so he's practiced against the "primal" mind it holds for some time. If he was in a worst-case scenario, such as being locked in a room with helpless humans and the scent of blood pervading his senses, he could probably hold for an hour before it took over. In some more realistic scenarios: A large city that is crowded with people he could probably last at least a few hours, though this would be without any combat at all. The less crowded a place gets, the longer he can hold back. A room with two or three people no longer bothers him, so someone could stay with him in his confinement for an extended period of time with little worry. Someone would likely have to organize it purposely for the primal mind to take over forcefully. Now, he can of course give in to it willingly. But he will only do so if the following criteria are met. One: He has absolutely no other way to get through the encounter. Two: No other allies of his are present. Three: He is certain that he can be sealed for how long the transformation will last, or that something can disable him. If one of these criteria is not met, he would sooner die than release the monster within.



I hope that covers everything



 
[MENTION=3672]Ixidor92[/MENTION]


This easily clears up what I wanted to know; I would say you are accepted, during the course of the RP however, please make certain to check with your Head GM [MENTION=3746]ForgeKeeper[/MENTION] in regards to the aberrant form's strength as he might see a full sized car as too much, regardless of it's meant to be a mindless engine of destruction.


If you are ever driven to that point, I certainly hope this story has exceedingly good Super Hero Insurance
 
@Pristine Dark


I'll make sure during the course of the rp . . . and I wouldn't want to see the premiums needed to cover that. Also, I think I'll be putting in another character for ease (in addition to leceel), simply because Leceel doesn't always go on missions, and purposely avoids a lot of human contact.


(Okay, this one is a bit weird. I didn't know whether to put him under "Asset" or "User", he's a user for now but I'll alter it if I need to)


Name: None, he was never given one



Nickname: Muerte (spanish for death, given by himself)


Gender: Male


Age: 22


Class: Asset


Mutation: Meurte's body is in a very odd "Half-dead, Half-living" State. He is noticeably alive, but is far closer to death than one would think by looking at him. However, rather than make killing him easier, it has actually become quite a ***** to do so. Injuries that would debilitate a normal man (broken arm, large gash in the side, losing a decent amount of blood) seem to pose no issue to him. While things that would kill a normal human being (impaled, shot full of bullets, losing a LOT of blood) only pose whatever physical hinderances from such an injury (such as dealing with whatever impaled him). He is completely numbed to pain as well as completely immune to diseases. However, he is NOT immortal (see weaknesses).


Power: Muerte has a rather eccentric way of fixing up his body. If he has a damaged organ or broken bone, he can take a whole one from a recently-deceased (or even still alive) person and replace it. The outsider will slowly be altered into the same composition of Muerte's body, including slight size alteration. This is more of a fine-tuning than a total rework of the organ/bone in question, he can not take a child's femur and expect it to grow into a full-size one. He has done this quite often in the past, due to necessity (see weaknesses). The tuning takes some time, though fresher specimens adapt faster. In addition, though this applies less with bones, if an organ has started to decay, it is worthless to him.



Abilities: Rather skilled with pistols, usually using two at a time. He also has an impressive knowledge of the human anatomy, with skill enough to use thread and scalpel to perform many operations on it. Usually on himself.


Personal Weapons:


-Pair of pistols


-Needle/thread + small knife. Knife is used to cut open skin while needle and thread are used to sew it shut.


Weaknesses: As stated before, Muerte is not immortal. While he can ignore pain, and his body seems to be able to function in states that most people would cause most people to writhe in agony or die, his body actually isn't any more capable than a normal human apart from "Universal acceptor". If a major organ is damage/destroyed, he can likely continue to function anywhere from several minutes to a full hour depending on the damage and the organ, but he needs to find a replacement or he will die. Example: If his heart was shot, he could probably survive for around 5 to 6 minutes, enough time for him to cut out a fresh heart and replace his own should there happen to be one nearby, but without a replacement he would die after that time period. He also has fought while on fire before, but has surmised that if not stopped, it will burn through his entire body and kill him. He is also rather sure (though has not tested) that an explosion would blow apart his body and kill him. Extreme pressure or crushing force will still pulverize his body and kill him. He still does require oxygen, food, and water to survive, though he can survive somewhat longer than a normal human without any of them. To date, he has not replaced his brain, and is somewhat skeptical that he would be able to.


In addition to this, his body heals naturally at an extremely slow pace. Small cuts take days to heal, large wounds take weeks. He honestly doesn't know how long it would take for a broken bone to heal, he has never waited that long before simply replacing it instead. As such, he needs to replace damaged organs and bones constantly. He also generally sews shut large injuries, since waiting for them to heal takes too long. His body also doesn't replenish blood as fast, so transfusions may be required after he has lost a significant amount.


Personality: Above all else, Muerte seems apathetic. He just doesn't care. The PDA is just a job, a means to survive. This does not mean he is a shut-in, or even secretive. If someone asks him about his past, he will tell it all without a single untruth, he just doesn't care who knows or what they ask him to do. He'll follow orders without caring, kill without caring, and generally live without caring.





Background: Muerte never met his parents . . . or more accurately was unable to. His father died several months before he was to be born, and his mother died a week before her due date. It was to the great shock of everyone (especially the mortician) when a living baby burst from her womb four days after her death. Amidst much confusion as to how he was alive, or why medical tests were saying otherwise, the unnamed boy was sent to an orphanage to be cared for. The young boy soon found himself to be different. Where others would cry and go running to the adults whenever they were hurt, he wouldn't feel a thing. Even when a dog attacked him and bit his calf so hard deep gashes lay along it, he didn't even flinch. When he found out about his origins, he had a feeling he understood why. The boy took to calling himself "Muerte", rather than the pet name the orphanage had given him. From this point on though, he would constantly wonder: "Why am I alive?" "For what reason did I live?". At the age of 16, he was adopted by a large crime gang. They were in need of new fresh-meat to train. Muerte made no effort to hide his "uniqueness", and the mob soon was proclaiming their "immortal" fighter. Over this period of time, Muerte found out about how he could replace parts of his body. Rather useful, since he had already found out how slow he healed normally. Now at the age of 22, the government came and shut down the crime gang, shooting anyone who resisted. Upon finding that one man seemed unkillable, the PDA became involved and hired him. The crime gang was just a job to him, as is the PDA, he only seeks an answer to the question "Why do I live?".





Appearance:View attachment 11089
 
Name: Allen Thorvold


Nickname: Alt


Gender: Male


Age: 25


Class: User


Powers:


Technomancy:


*Allen has the ability to manipulate technology. This ability also allows Allen to extend his consciousness beyond his body into a machine and slightly increase the objects' capabilities while also increasing his own knowledge of that machine, leaving his body limp.


Ability:


An advanced memory system:


*Allen’s highly advanced memory allows him to memorize the inner workings of each machine he has


come in contact with.


Personal Weapons:


Nano-machines: *A cluster of microscopic self-replicating machines that can be programmed to perform a number of tasks which includes being able to mimic small machines from watches to machines the size of a multipurpose pair of binoculars, the can also assume the shape and density of simple objects such as a steel rod or a sword, these machines can also be used as skin thin armour capable of reducing the effect of blunt force trauma and decreasing the likelihood of fatal wounds.


*These machines require the use of an advanced processing system that can process more than a million commands at any one time. (Allen currently possesses a CPU with this capability disguised in the form of a rectangular leather backpack) The cpu he has emits a weak signal that is only effective within a circumference of two meters, beyond that distance the machines no longer receive commands and will automatically shut down until they are within effective range once more. When used as armour these machines are only able to negate a certain amount of trauma before the surface created breaks and becomes useless, this armour however is ineffective against bullets or sharp piercing weapons like swords or daggers. The CPU can only handle a gallon/4 litres in volume of Nano-bots and while the Nano-bots can consume most materials, they are unable to convert biological matter dead or otherwise.


Weaknesses:


Technomancy:


*Allen’s Consciousness cannot penetrate beyond rubber or led barriers, his mind cannot go more than a foot beyond the reach of his arms in any direction, the thickness of a non-metal object can lessen the distance greatly, lessening his physical distance from any technological object or system can increase the effectiveness of his range slightly, his mind cannot remain within a machine for more than a minute and the more advanced an object is the less he can learn within the time limit an hour is needed before he can initiate this power again. Allen’s ability to manipulate technology changes in effectiveness depending on his physical distance from any object, the most effective distance is within two metres circumference of his body, beyond that point he cannot effectively control any object. Generally he can only manipulate up to four separate machines if he tries to manipulate more than that simultaneously his powers go beyond his control reacting randomly with his surroundings. His powers do not extend to objects without some sort of interface which means he cannot remotely control firearms or simple machines that require physical force to operate this includes being able to remotely control a vehicle (he can still activate one remotely and change the radio station)


Personal Weakness:


*Allen is not particularly strong or brave, he is not skilled in any martial arts nor


has he proficiency with fire arms, his sole weapons are the Nano-bots he employs.


Personality: *Allen has become a paranoid man as a result of several incidences in his life, having been on the run for some time, though he has been able to cultivate several habits that have enabled him to survive for so long which include but are not limited to; being unable to trust others very easily, always look for a quick getaway point, preparing several plans of escape and maintaining a position that allows for the most advantageous escape or outlook on the room. Allen has become very unconventional and has taken a liking to the steampunk genre 'it actually gives me a reason to wear a mask and some goggles, people often describe him as jittery or flighty due to his quick jerking movements. Allen has also developed a habit of treating machines like they are sentient beings that have feelings to compensate for the trauma's he has suffered, he also maintains a longing to return to New Zealand, he does not out of fear of what might happen to what is left of his family.


Background:

Allen Thorvold was born to both Roimata Huatahi a Maori woman and James Thorvold a


man of Colonial European descent. His mother and father were eighteen when he was


born and at the time both their parents thought that they were too young to look after


a child and decided that until he was five he would live with his father’s parents in The


South Island in a town called Otago until he turned five when his mother’s parents would


take care of him until he was 11 when he would return to the guardianship of his parents.


The first five years of his life were uneventful and he had apparently spent a rather pleasant time with his ‘Gran and Pa’ in Otago. It wasn’t until the age of seven when his powers first surfaced and he was living with his ‘Nana and Papa’, they lived in a small house in the far north of the North Island, surrounded by farmland the town of Waimamaku was small and had the only convenient store for a mile around. His Papa had been changing the light bulbs and asked Allen to pass him a new one but as soon as he had picked up the light bulb it flared and the glass shattered. He had suffered only light cuts on his face and no lasting damage but his grandparents grew concerned though did not tell him. As time went on and Allen’s powers grew more and more rapidly by the time he reached ten he was able flick most of the appliances in the kitchen on or off with just a focused look and a gesture. One day however after Allen had ‘magically’ fixed their neighbour’s lawn mower and somehow managed to cause a blackout after a tantrum , his parents sat him down in their unlit house and explained to him what could happen if let people know about his powers.


When he turned ten his parents had moved to the country side having found jobs nearby, his mother was a teacher at a Kohanga (a full-immersion preschool for Maori children.) while his father worked in another town three hours away. They spent a few more years in the country side and Allen attended a school over the hill by the beach, it wasn’t until he turned 11 when his parents decided to return back to the city with Allen as their jobs did not pay well enough to take care of a growing family.


After a week at his knew school when the novelty of starting half a year later wore off and he was just another student did things start get a little more exciting, Allen couldn’t help himself, he had a natural curiosity in machines bolstered by the uncanny power to manipulate them and he entered a nationwide science competition along with a few other people from his class. It was a group project and he was in fact the experiment, they had stabbed a potato with two copper wires and given the other ends to Allen when he would then hold another wire in his opposite hand that lead to a computer screen. By rights it should have never worked just as it hadn’t done so when his friends tried it but before then they didn’t get a chance to see Allen fail at it too, so they decided he would be the one to hold the wire when the judges came around. A few hours into the competition the judges finally made their way to his stall, they asked question and blabbered on about this and that. Allen paid them no mind until it was time for him to grab the wires, first he took hold of the wires leading from the potato and after a brief countdown he grabbed the wires leading to the monitor and to everyone’s surprise it powered on, not only that but words began appearing upon the screen to Allen’s growing discomfort.


Allen had turned 18, was about to graduate from secondary-school and had begun searching for a University to study at. On the last day after school Allen was on his way home but when he got there he found a strange car in the driveway of his house, apparently it had been hired by a pair of scouts from a private American college and they were looking for promising young international students. They were actually scouts from the P.D.A and had no intentions at all of educating him, but they were all lies and smiles and no one could tell. Two weeks later those same too scouts returned to his house where Allen had been waiting anxiously for their arrival, he and his parent had unwittingly signed an internationally binding contract to sign all his rights over to the organisation.


A month later after some terrible outbursts of violence out of sadness and anger did Allen pull himself together, when he had first arrived at the maximum security facility that was to be his home and prison for some time they finally told him what was happening. “Your little accident when you 14 is what first caught our attention, we thought it might have just been some prank but then you had to go on and compete in more competitions and ended up plastered all over the internet and newspapers worldwide when you made the world’s first self-replicating machine. Tsk, tsk, tsk, if you had simply remained mediocre we would have never picked you out of the bunch, but you had to over-achieve and in the process landed yourself in here with me….”


It only took a year of constant heavy surveillance, constant training of his powers and the torture of having to lie to his parents once a month to push him to escape from his incarceration. Allen had watched many prison movies for to learn something from them and he was young and dumb enough to believe them. All the doors of the cells were locked electrically, even his own one, it took some time since the door was so thick and the mechanism was small in comparison but he finally unlocked the door but no alarms sounded because the door had not been forced open. The first thing he did was unlock the next cell, it was easier this time because the locks were on the outside of the door and he simply needed to touch the lock and will it open, it was minutes later before a large squad of guards had arrived to subdue him but by then he had already freed most of the prisoners along his hallway and they provided enough distraction for himself and few others to sneak away. His comrades were eager to escape as quickly as they could but it would not be so easy , Allen had a plan and asked them to help him get to the central security office that would be connected to every block in the facility.


Breaking into the main security office was not easy because the kept running right into small patrols along the way not to mention getting lost a few times until Allen found an iphone with a map of the whole facility on it. On their way to the security office the group got separated by a large group of kids attacking another guard patrol and Allen had lost the iphone leaving him lost once more. Wandering through uninhabited hallways looking for a computer of any sort, Allen stumbled upon a research lab and a laptop that would prove to be his saviour many times in the future.


Six years later in a seedy club, Allen sat on a barstool staring at the crowd nursing some nauseous cocktail in his hand staring balefully at a pair of agents struggling through a throng of gyrating under-aged patrons who did their best to include two suit clad men in their erotic activities but to no avail.


He followed their progress towards him and waited patiently knowing he had several ways out if things turned sour, they wanted to make a deal with him……………..


Appearance:





View attachment 11119


I am more than happy to change, what is needed and hope to be accepted, I have done as much as i could to balance my character out as much as i could without losing the coolness.
 
My apologies, there are several things I did not take the time to explain.


Firstly, when I say “spirits”, I am not referring to ghosts. I use the term spirit because I really don’t know what other name to give them, but they all have physical, tangible forms. In other words, even a normal human can hit a “spirit” over the head with a baseball bat, and it will generally be out of commission for a while. They can be seen, felt, heard, etc, and aren’t the invisible, world-manipulating things from A Haunting in Connecticut. Demons and angels are the same way, physical forms, and named from what they like to do to humans, help or hurt them. Also, to take control of a ‘spirit’ requires a considerable amount of time, even if its weak. The human souls thing was my thinking that some summoners would use them as servants, not in battle, but I’ll just take out dealing with human souls altogether. However, a limit on how many things can be summoned is a good idea. I’m thinking 3 at a time if they’re weak, 1 if they’re powerful. Also, summoning a ‘spirit’ would take immense mental energy, so summoning Ra right after Loki has been defeated, for example, would be impossible for several days after.


As for ‘gods’, they aren’t actually gods. Like all the other creatures, they too have physical forms, and a broken bone, for example, would severely limit their mobility and combat ability. The only thing special about ‘gods’ is that they can’t be killed outright, they can only be put out of commission for a varying about of time, depending on what was done to them. Of course, some ‘gods’ are more easily killed than others, such as the Norse gods, which can be killed like any mortal man, meaning Loki is fairly easy to deal with. My thinking was that these beings were seen as gods by ancient civilizations, and labeled as such, but they aren’t actually gods, just beings stronger than mortals.


Also, I guess I should have said outright, The Organization has long since collapsed after the incident, and a large majority of summoners were killed off. The network collapsed, and there’s no import of spirits any longer. Aaron has no connections to other summoners any longer.


As for no innate magical abilities, it means he himself has no power to manipulate the world. No fire magic, no reading minds, etc.


I hope this helps clear up some things, if there are still problems, please let me know.
 
([MENTION=3957]Pristine Dark[/MENTION] [MENTION=3746]ForgeKeeper[/MENTION])


-_- I really do hate being a nag, but it's been another couple of days since posting
 
[MENTION=3672]Ixidor92[/MENTION]





Muerte Character Review





A rather straight forward review of an indomitable, semi-immortal type character.


I can find no points of note compared to abilities that have already been accepted.



This character however is an asset, not a user; it appears to use no magic but is itself not entirely human.






As for “personal weapons”: A needle/thread in this case does not count as a weapon, the knife does.





The inability to feel pain in this case is called idiopathic neuropathology btw. (background was not entirely read due to how generally acceptable the rest of the character sheet appeared to be)


[MENTION=4319]ninbinz[/MENTION]



First of, before all else let me start by saying that all relevant information to a power should be listed with that power. This review went on for more than 500 words; many of which were rendered utterly worthless when I arrived at this line in the weakness section



Allen’s ability to manipulate magnetic waves and electric currents is restricted to the technology he is able to control”


Such information is CRITICAL to the power description and should thus be included with it…for the sake of those reading. In any case, let me start the review again with this line in mind.



According to [MENTION=3746]ForgeKeeper[/MENTION] , characters cannot have so similar a sphere of influence and as such your “Allen” may be too similar to my “Trisha”.



Originally, I had written that “Technopathy does not normally include the ability to control magnetic waves and electric currents on their own”. However, due to the fact that even these abilities only apply when controlling technology, it would be far simpler if you didn’t mention them at all (it’s basically covered in the idea of “Technopathy”; a technopath has no issue re-writing magnetic data on a hard drive for instance)



As for his ability to ‘increase the effectiveness’ of certain objects, there is a rather large chance this could be exploited to produce technologies far beyond the level intended for the story “which is supposed to be modern day”. This is mostly a warning to you as it may be rejected by the head-gm.



Moving on to mundane abiliites; you are only allowed one when possessing a sphere of influence, but you attempt to pass off two as one which is beyond the bounds of the character sheet template. Enhanced memory does not equal enhanced perception; choose one or another (though I suspect you will choose the memory)



On to weaponry; again, include all relevant information in its area; there was no need to separate the two as weaknesses normally pertain to the character itself. The original statement typed sited the possibility of such nano-devices replicating into eternity; this worry however is effectively controlled by the required CPU. Normally I would mention that it is yet another item your character possesses, but I think it can be suitably tied to the nanomachines for it to count as the same weapon. Even with all this information in mind, the head GM may still reject it due to its incredible versatility (though I myself would probably allow it)



All in all, after managing to undo most of the “OMG HAX” parts at the top with the addendum’s at the bottom, I think you did a fairly good job balancing and would accept (I will still need to talk with the head-GM before hand however.



[MENTION=4280]Rokku Hizori[/MENTION]



Your post clears up plenty;



Recommendations:



1) All spirits are ‘unkillable’ but are dismissed when receiving trauma sufficient to kill a normal member of it’s race, thus eliminating the distinction between ‘gods’ and ‘spirits’ entirely.



2) clearly list the abilities of each already acquired spirit for acceptance; as it is, it is very difficult to gauge strength



3) Yes, remove human souls entirely (as afterall any user or asset would technically count as a ‘spirit’ under your definition








As the thread's head GM seems to be a bit slow on the reviewing; i'll perform that for him and state my points when I am capable of speaking with him...hopefully speeding up the process.


More over; please mention my name in updates or post upon my profile so that I know when one has been completed
 
And to break up the unrelenting seriousness of the previous post... Boingo Boingo Whoopsie Knickers.
 
. . . [MENTION=3963]Beta[/MENTION] that was REALLY freaking random.


[MENTION=3957]Pristine Dark[/MENTION]


Two last points I'd like to clear up


-One: Does changing Muerte from a user to an asset require me to change anything about him? He doesn't have any sort of "Final Form", he's just constantly in that living death state.


-Two: Am I good to start posting, or do I need to make sure to get a final OK from the head GM?
 
I'd like to ask,does the Petawawa Virus have a spirit or soul? It's a virus. It's host might have a spirit or soul,but the driving consciousness,being a virus,may or may not have a spirit or soul. Yes,it's intelligent and capable of learning,but only with a host. Also,Ixidor,I would indeed wait on ForgeKeeper to render judgement.
 
[MENTION=3672]Ixidor92[/MENTION] I have not been given authority to give final acceptance, I was merely asked to do character reviews for your character as well as Rokku's. When ForgeKeeper reappears, I will tell him the points i've pointed out to the both of you and leave it to him to.


Sorry about the delays >_<
 
Here are the character sheets for the spirits, also, I don't think I can do the shout thing until I post a few more times, sorry.


Name: Ra


Nickname: -


Gender: Male


Age: Really damn old.


Class: Asset


Powers: Manipulation of heat and light, able to set things on fire by raising their temperature, can fire concentrated beams of light, make it lighter/darker.


Mutations: Body of a man, head of a hawk.


Abilities: Brilliant combat ability with the Egyptian hand axe.


Weapons: An Egyptian bronze axe about three feet long


Weaknesses: Ra is still considered a god by some, though immortality is certainly out of the question. He bleeds, feels pain, and dies just like any other being, though he can stand many more wounds than a normal man. He can be hit and cut just as any other creature can, however, and a broken limb will render him almost helpless.


Personality: Pompous, short-tempered, and many qualities expected of a petty dictator and not of a god. He is benevolent to his allies, and merciless to his enemies. He is not fond of his new position in life, but he has little choice now that his cult of followers are all long dead.


History: Ra, like many other spirits that live throughout the world, were once worshiped as gods by various cultures of men, now, however, many of them are bound to Summoners and forced to serve then through various contracts. The details of Hadrian's contract with Ra include sacrifices of animals and incense, and various gifts of gold and other valuables. In exchange, Ra will aid Hadrian in fighting, but only that. He will not light dark hallways, he will not guide him through the spirit world, and he certainly not warn him of impending danger. Due to this, Ra is mainly for combat, and has little use for anything else.


Name: Loki


Nickname: N/A


Gender: Varies


Age: Really damn old


Class: Asset


Powers: Illusions harmless images of nearly anything he wants, shape-shifting into creatures no larger than a horse, no mythical beings.


Mutations: N/A


Abilities: Basic knowledge of sword-fighting


Weapons: A longsword


Weaknesses: Loki is a spirit of trickery and deceit, and has little in the way of physical strength. He is only trained in the basics of Norse fighting, and has no power over the elements. He only has any real combat ability when turned into an animal with teeth or claws.


Personality: Deceitful, but rarely in a malevolent way, Loki's reputation for being a trickster has followed him through the ages. Serious only when the situation absolutely demands it, Loki is sometimes more of a burden than an asset.


History: while his origins remain a mystery, much of his life was spent tormenting and terrorizing the other Nordic spirits in a plethora of ways. He has long been the bane of more powerful Northern spirits, and they were eager and glad to give him away to any summoner willing to take him. That man happened to be Hadrian's father, who managed to outwit and out-trick the deity, and thus demanded his eternal servitude to spare his life. There were no objections in either case, save from Loki himself. Loki's contract with Hadrian, however, is not as binding. Firstly, Loki refuses to fight unless he is being directly threatened, and even then he is more likely to flee than fight. In exchange for his services, Loki demands offerings of gold and silver, and will do nothing unless given these gifts up front.


Name: Shades (3)


Nickname: n/a


age: 400, 700, 1000


Class: Asset


Mutations: n/a


Abilities: None


Weapons: None


Weaknesses: Weak, easily killed, and few in number.


Personality: Violent, hissing, and wicked things, not so much personalities as angered hives of bees.


History: Shades are corrupted energies of emotions given solid form. They are usually created from emotions such as anger, hatred, and despair. They attack with claw-like hands, and are about as strong as any grown human male.
 
@Riddle78 - I would say that as of this moment your character does not have a soul but has the potential to develop a soul if it developed more as an individual than as just a virus. It would not be a spirit cause this is how I would define a Spirit/s- A soul that has left it's body and has formed it's own semi-physical form. Also just to add this in there a spirit I'm going to say get's dispersed easily by coming into contact with any silver.


@Ixidor92 - both of your character are Accepted!


@Rokku Hizori - I would call your "spirits" a being known as Corpus (I made it up) more exactly a contracted Corpus. Also I would like to offer you a few options for the direction of your character.


Option 1: You keep your powers and Corpus the way they are now but as another draw back to them being both physical and magic their magical abilities would be limited to degree for say Loki could only hold an illusion steady for about 5 minutes on a couple small ones or if shape-shifting Loki could only hold a form for about 2 minutes or less.



Option 2: You change it so that you control spirits not physical bodies like Corpus. These spirits would have more magical abilities and prowess but nothing like sword fighting or physical fighting talents. Also they would not die simply be dispersed and would take time for them to reassemble themselves.



Note: Spirits can not be touched but a extremely vulnerable to silver and can be hit and affected by magic, fire, electricity and depending on the spirit snow/ice/water. (Ra would be vulnerable to water)



@
ninbinz - How about being able to transfer your character's consciousness to a piece of machinery and control that piece of machinery and while your consciousness is inside that machinery the machines functions would be slightly improved. Tho as a down side to that would be that your character's body goes limp like it is sleeping while your consciousness is inside a piece of machinery. I will say you would have to get rid of the magnetic waves and electric currents.


 
Wait... so by "Closed"... does that mean this is dead? Or just not accepting new players?
 

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