[Nivirres: The Frozen World] (PC) Shawn Hraelus.

[Falchion]

Basic Info


Name: Shawn Hraelus.


Age: 27.


Gender: Male.


Race: Human.


Personality: Quiet, calm, he doesn't like to speak up very often, unless he has something important to contribute.


Appearance: Picture later.


Caucasian. Stands about 5'10", he is muscled, but not very large. He has dark blue eyes, and black, short hair. He typically wears a shirt of a neutral color, and thick pants. When in or prepping for a mission he wears camoflouge, thick boots, and thin, light gloves.


Attributes and Skills (TOTAL VALUE = STARTING + BONUS + LEVEL UP)


Strength: 6 (5+1+0)


Agility: 8 (7+1+0)


Intelligence: 9 (8+1+0)


Melee Weapons: 7 (6+1+0)


Ranged Light Weapons: 3 (1+2+0)


Ranged Heavy Weapons: 13 (10+3+0)


Light Armor: 12 (8+4+0)


Heavy Armor: 2 (0+2+0)


Engineering: 1 (0+1+0)


Security: 4 (4+0+0)


Stealth: 9 (8+1+0)


First Aid: 4 (3+1+0)


Military Experience


Rank: Elite.


Weapon Specialization: Heavy.


Armor Specialization: Light.


Inventory


Armor:


Guardian Light Armor (+2)


Weapons:


Combat Knife (+1)


Trueshot Sniper Rifle (+5)


Aux:


1 First Aid Kit

 

[Wolf Rawrrr]

I've updated some minor formatting to match template style, but there seem to be some issues with numbers.


First, your three attributes. The default values 7+7+8 add up to 22, and you're supposed to assign 20 default points. The +1 brackets are Racial bonuses, that's fine.


As for the skills, those default values are alright (40 total), but I think you misunderstood something regarding bonus points there. Where it says for example +2 Ranged L/H Weapons, you're supposed to add +2 to BOTH Ranged Light Weapons AND Ranged Heavy Weapons. L/H means both. Your Elite rank means you should have +2 in the brackets on Ranged Light Weapons, instead of +1.


Also, some brackets don't add up properly. Light Armor is 8 (+2) (+2) and that doesn't really equal 14, but 12.


You might want to revise your bonus point assignation overall, since I'm having a hard time checking it out, even though you have clearly separated default from bonus, which is commendable. I didn't want to enforce this on everyone but it's better like this.

 

[Falchion]

You know, I'm sorry, you'll have to forgive my mathematics. I'll fix it.


What do you mean by separate bonus from the default?

 

[Wolf Rawrrr]

I merely meant the fact that you've written the default points aside from the ones given by other factors, which you wrote in brackets.


I thought you'd do this:

Melee Weapons: 7

When instead you did this:

Melee Weapons: 6 (+1)



I prefer what you did so I think I'll ask everyone to do it like that. It helps to keep this layout.


p.s. Don't forget to add your character's age under the name ^^

 

[Falchion]

Got the age.

 

[Wolf Rawrrr]

Alright, this profile is ready to be approved. Threads will be locked after approval to prevent any changes to stats and inventory while the game progresses.


I assume you'd like to post a picture? In that case I'll wait a bit longer. Tell me when you're ready to seal the deal.

 

[Falchion]

I can't really find a picture that fits, I'll just let you guys imagine him as described. Go ahead and lock.

 

[Wolf Rawrrr]

Yeah I understand. From personal experience I've come to learn it's next to impossible to find a picture based on an existing imaginary character. That's why I usually find a picture and base a character on it.


Right. The sheet has been locked now to prevent unauthorized editing. I will be updating it as your character progresses throughout the game, improving your stats and keeping the inventory up-to-date. You will be informed of every change I make. Sheet approved.

 

[Wolf Rawrrr]

Due to excessive inactivity, the player has been removed from the game, and this character has been taken over by the Storyteller to be dealt with at my convenience.