Marck Dios

[InsaneAsylum]

Marck Dios

Introduction

My First Character, 'ight?

Games the Character has been involved with

None.

Basics

Name: Marck Dios


Age: 14


Race: Human


Gender: Male


Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual


Occupation: Scout/Spy/Explorer

• Appearance
• Personality
• History
• Magic/Spells
• Equipment
• Skills

• Appearance
  
  Height: 5'6
  
  
  Weight: 130
  
  
  Hair: Dark Brown Hair. His hair is long enough to cover his eyes.
  
  
  Eyes: Dark Brown
  
  
  Body: Compact
  
  
  Attire: Brown shirt, brown pants, brown cloak, and a steel sword.
  
  
  Marck almost always wears all brown. It fits well with his dark brown skin.
  
  
  
• Personality
  
  Marck is usually a nice guy. He isn't too judgemental, nor does he try to pick fights. He is neither talkative nor social, but he is good at reading people. Be that their state of mind or their physical state. If he is with people he knows well, he can be very eccentric.
  
  
  
• History
  
  Marck grew up in the far countrysides. He never really knew anything about big cities until his family moved into one when he was ten years old. They left the only life Marck really knew behind. On the first day in this big city, everything seemed like it would turn out perfectly fine. Marck and his family now lived in a nice home, and had seemingly nice neighbors. On the second day, in one night, this amazing city Marck lived in became an oppressive empire. Everyone in his family, except for him, were imprisoned then executed. For the next three years, he lived with the poorest of the poor folk. On his 14th birthday, he managed to sneak out of the city on a merchant's wagon.
  
  
  
• Magic/Spells
  
  Marck has no magical abilities.
  
  
  
• Equipment
  
  Marck's only weapon is a short steel sword. Marck carries around lock picking equipment, and a canteen.
  
  
  
• Skills
  
  Marck is decent with his sword, but he is quick and agile. He's very good with his words, and can deceive his way out of many things.
  
  
  

Theme Song

[media]



[/media]

 

[InsaneAsylum]

Any feedback is fine! Please and Thank you!

 

[BrightEyes]

Interesting creation (:

 

[Teh Frixz]

This is a brutally honest review by Teh Frixz


While off the bat I enjoy seeing a character endure tragedy, I don't see how he evolved from it. A farm boy in the city for two days loses it all and is struck down to live with the poorest of the poor. If it was here he learned to fight and steal for a living, I highly doubt a sword would be his weapon as a sword is obscenely expensive to make and throughout human history has been a weapon of the Rich and not the poor.


Perhaps give him a muggers weapon? Like a blackjack or club. Maybe even brass knuckles if you want a little exotic. Blunt simple weapons are your best bet. Make him good with that.


If you go the eccentric route, be sure to focus those eccentricities on either his past country life or on the fact that he was a theif trying to not die in a city that swallowed up his family.


Expand on your background. Build his traits on being peasant stock and then a gutter rat. And provide explanation why he just didn't leave the city for the familiarity and safety of the country right away?


Good job on avoiding magic. Magic is mostly dumb and relying on natural humanity is a good way to avoid dumb things.


Focus on showing and not telling. Provide excerpts from his life rather than a wiki of it.


He should be stupid with his words. In all of history, those raised in a peasant culture and then in hyper poor urban decay should have little to no education. His language would be gruff and stilted, heavily influence by local slangs and old farm memories.


Overall, forget the gentleman theif aspect and focus on the survival of a young man having to desperate things. This character smells of bittersweet chocolate and could really stand out from the average "orphaned dude" character. Really play up the struggle and the brutal results of it. He more than likely isn't a good guy but doesn't have to be a villian because of it.