Poetry Life doesn't care about you, Or me.

[Jhade]

There is someone in my life.
He is the one reason I do not draw with a knife.
and cut all the ropes.
And unloaded the guns.
He is the reason I have not drowned myself
or dropped the toaster in the bath.
He is the reason i haven't drank in weeks.
He is my boyfriend, and i can't even share this joy with anyone.
Because being gay is only acceptable online, not in real life...

 

[Satanic Nightjar]

~~~my own song~~~

The day we met you changed my life
Held my hand and took the knife
Understood the demons in my mind
In this black, empty sky
You're a star, my only light
Said you loved me, told me to stay alive
I'm not alone, you just wore a disguise
Hiding your pain from prying eyes
Cause you know what it's like
To have no one who knows what it's like

You're something I don't deserve
The most beautiful thing in this darkened world
Demons whisper in your ear, but you stay strong
Feeling like I'm going insane, so I write these songs
You chose to love instead of die
Taught me a lesson about my life
A debt I'll never repay
How do you make me feel this way?

 

[dazzling]

~not my song~
I don’t need your sympathy
Your vicious lies they’re killing me
And things will never be the same
It’s over now and I’m to blame

Can you do one last thing for me?
Put me out of my misery
I hide behind the lie that had become
The new me

the real me

 

[Jhade]

I still have the scars, mental and not.
because some passed without a side thought.
But i don't blame them
In this mayhem,
Until I'm dead and gone.

 

[Satanic Nightjar]

I'm drowning in this ocean of memories
Existing without a purpose
So caught up in emotions we forget reality
You pulled me to the surface
You tried but I'm still lost in fractured dreams
Pulled you down, I know I'm worthless
I was so deaf to your desperate screams

Now I'm lost out here alone
In the unforgiving seas
Cutting just to stay afloat
And the voices never cease

I'm sorry for what I did
And i'll never make it right
I'll love you till the end
Whether or not you're by my side

 

[dazzling]

Floating away
Drifiting away
Feels like I'm drowning in a sea of my own tears

I was safe only in my dreams
Until they shattered and became reality
Calculating every step,
every false smile

I've seen myself jump a thousand times
I've seen myself pick up a knife a thousand times
I've seen myself swallow a thousand times

Swimming through shattered glass now,
the glass from the shattered illusion
that was my reality.

The cuts are too deep,
too many
The only thing they will remember me by
is the red I left.

 

[mon]

Oh man, all these poems were so deep and I don't know if I'm imposing by reading it as a cry for help? Like the few who commented, life is though and painful and rough, but you turning your pain into poetry is a beautiful thing. Things can be grown in our suffering and yeah, it sucks now, but this moment to moment won't last forever. I hope you know there's people who care for you, strangers like me and other readers. As shallow as it sounds, you are cared for.

 

[Satanic Nightjar]

I stand alone in this darkened life
Voices on repeat in my mind
The demons whispering their endless lies
I wonder why I'm still alive
I've been suicidal since I was nine
Depressed and hoping I could die
Yeah somebody told me that there was light
No matter how dark it is there's a star in the sky
I loved who they were, but I can't find
A single spark to light my dying fire

The nights are so alone
Fading, soon I'll be gone
Your eyes have gone so cold
Once were like the summer sun
Now they're like the winter snow

I wonder when my time will come
When I'll find the courage to just jump
Pick up the knife and watch my blood
Tighten the knot and just let go

Flying away up to the stars
Following you, they'll erase our scars
Just a memory of what we were
Floating through the dreams of a broken heart

 

[Jhade]

Lines form on my face and hands
Lines form from the ups and downs
I'm in the middle without any plans
I'm a boy and I'm a man
I'm eighteen
And I don't know what I want

 

[dazzling]

This starless night by the river,
the water looked deeper than ever.
The white foam brushed against my feet
And the chill brought a sense of warmth.

I waded in, the underlying currents twirling around me.
Soon my feet were floating in the whirlwind of water
And for a moment, I felt like I could fly.

I turned in my bed, closing my eyes again.
The soft drumming of rain on the roof lulled me back to sleep and I saw myself in the river once more.
And for a moment, I felt like I could fly.

 

[Jhade]

Hamlet: Act III, Scene I
To be, or, not to be. That is the question.
Whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer
the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
or to take arms against the seas of troubles,
and by opposing end them?
To die: to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, ‘tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish’d. To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there’s the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come