Fantasy Instead of Hell, I Ended Up Reborn As Something I Hate

[Noodle Time]

Ren followed behind Vaea as they walked, it didn't take long to get to the forest and almost instantly they met with a pack of slimes, Ren looked them up and down and shrugged "I dunno, they're kinda cute, how the heck would these things even kill us? They gonna slap us to death?" they slashed at the closest slime with a flurry of slashes causing it to become nothing but a pool "besides, as far as waste of time goes, they'll only waste time if you don't kill them before they can rebound, not sure if slimes can split into more slimes...Also where the hell does sentient jelly even come from?" they chuckled as they crouched down, preparing for another strike.

 

[ScatheAriiasqDrayceon]

Flame chuffed, digging their claws into the bark of the tree they had landed on. It seemed that they preferred high ground as opposed to... well, anywhere else, really. "I, personally, agree with Vaea. There's no point in dwelling on these two long."

They didn't even finish speaking before one started steaming... then promptly exploded, blue gunk spraying in every direction, though not very far. It was completely out of nowhere, but by the fact that there were only three people there, well, the source was obvious. "Honestly, I would just keep walking."

They leaped to another tree branch, pausing to ensure it held their weight.

 

[TanteRegenbogen]

Vaea decided to just promptly make short work of the slimes and finish off the remaining ones. "There. So that they dont continue annoying us from behind. Slimes tend to be persistent even when they barely do any damage at all." Vaea said. Vaea then continued to walk towards Feilenweiler. The path went up a hill. At it's summit, the town of Feilenweiler was visible in the valley in a distance. It was definitely bigger than Terpenheim. Probably a good six or seven times larger.

"There is our gateway to becoming something bigger than what we would have become if we had just stayed at home." Vaea said before walking down the hill further towards Feilenweiler. The closer they got to the town, the more people were on the road to it. A lot of people looked like adventurers. Some more seasoned than others.

 

[Noodle Time]

Ren shrugged "I mean I think I could fight slimes all day...I wonder if they're edible, could I eat a slime?" they chuckled at the thought, they were genuinely curious but didn't feel like finding out. They looked towards Feilenweiler and whistled "makes the town we came from look like a hamlet." As they walked Ren noticed the people on the roads and had to resist the urge to start taking their coin purses, they definitely didn't want to get on the bad side of someone who could actually fight back, plus it probably wouldn't help them become an adventurer "So we get to this town and ask the guilds to give us adventurer licenses and then we eat yeah?"

 

[ScatheAriiasqDrayceon]

Flame huffed, eyeing the town and the adventurers. "This place looks fun," they drawled, dropping out of the tree and following Vaea down. Their tail flicked mindlessly, twitching back and forth. It sometimes lingered around their feet, but never for long. "Surely they'd be more selective about who becomes an adventurer," they mused, clicking in the back of their throat. "A test of some sort, maybe? Vaea, you probably know more about this than we do, yes?"

 

[TanteRegenbogen]

(Sorry for the wait. Also since Vaea looks and acts feminine, I am just going to refer to Vaea as "she" for most situations, you can however use he, she or they for Vaea, as you see fit. Just feels weird to me using "he" to refer to Vaea.)

"Slimes are edible, just not raw. Each raw slimes will in the best case give you a stomach ache and in the worst cases vomiting and diarrhea. I heard you should boil the liquid for twenty minutes and at sugar or honey or fruit and then you can eat them." Vaea said to Ren. "Less wiggly creatures like raccoons probably make better meals though."

Both Ren and Flame seemed to muse whether becoming an adventurer was easy or not or if there were any specific prerequisites. "Well then let's find out. Maybe it is easy but they only give absolute beginners the super easy or menial quests that have low payouts." Vaea said. She led the way into town and quickly found the adventurer's guild. It was a pretty big building with a bulletin board on the outside for guild news. Vaea looked over it to see if there was info for newbies.

"I see something here. It says: [Any new adventurer's will be given temporary membership and temporary licenses until they complete a trial quest. Upon completion, they will receive full membership and licenses and start at scrap tier guild ranking. To apply, just inquire at the front desk and fill out the forms. Upon turning in your forms you will be informed of benefits given to full members.] Sounds easy enough." Vaea said and read out loud. She went inside to the front desk and inquired about the forms and came back with three forms.

The forms read standard information that could have been expected: Name, Hometown, Birthdate or age, Gender/sex, species, class [if any], skills. Vaea handed two of the forms to the others and then filled out the application while semi-audibly reading and answering it: "Name: Vae-a-fyn Ap-ple-turn-er. Hometown: Ter-pen-heim. Birthdate or age: 26, 11th day of goddess moon. Gender/sex: Hmmm. Difficult. I'd say In-Between or both. Species: Elf. Class: Bat-tle-mage. Skills: Hand-to-hand combat, unarmored defense, blue magic. That should be enough for them." Vaea then smiled as she waited for the others to finish their application forms.

 

[Noodle Time]

Ren looked at the form and blinked "they want all this information? Just for someone who might be dead in a week? damn" they began writing out on the form and sighed "writing was never my strong suit, my handwriting always looks like that of a child and I'm starting to think it's because my left hand is the dominant hand" then carried on writing while talking out loud "Ren Calithorne, No gender, half-elf blah blah blah" they eventually finished writing and read over the form once more before deciding it was good enough "I didn't know what to put for job what with my slight magic knowledge and penchant for knives so I just put "thief but without the stealing" they nodded as they finished their sentence as if to affirm themselves that this was an adequate job title before turning to Vaea "so we essentially get the worst jobs no one else would ever dream of taking and then we get proper licenses and work our way through the ranks? Doesn't seem like a bad gig, just hope the pay here is good, I'm sick of stealing stale bread and the like from stalls"

 

[ScatheAriiasqDrayceon]

Flame eyed the form a moment before beginning to write, having to pause and wipe the charcoal away a few times as their hand made movements they didn't want to make. Seven used to write exclusively in a cipher, and they still hadn't managed to kill the muscle memory.

There was a brief pause at 'class', biting their lip before jotting down "Assassin".

The wrongness flared.

They didn't vocalize their writing, tail flicking anxiously. "This feels a lot like Seven's initiation. Their warnings are back." They notified, ears swiveling cautiously. Seven kept them alive for a while, though they were usually just overcautious.

 

[TanteRegenbogen]

(Sorry for the wait.)

"Yeah, we probably get super easy or super dirty jobs at first. Upside is the ease, downside is how boring that might be. Also the pay might not be that good." Vaea said as she gathered the forms to turn them in. She gave them to the person at the info desk. Looking through the forms, the person partially looked confused but at other times the person had a smirk of amusement.

"Alright. The trial quest is to gather five white raccoons each. Dead of course. If you can manage that, you will be accepted into the adventurer's guild. Here is a pamphlet about the benefits and privileges." The desk person said. Vaea took the pamphlet and immediately started reading through it.

"It says we can found a subguild and buy a base of operations in town. At this point though, all we can probably afford is a room at an inn or a tent. It also says we get bonuses for finding rare items or doing out of the ordinary task that raise our reputation such as helping townspeople. Interesting." Vaea said. "I guess we should get to getting those white raccoon cadavers first though. What do you say?" She said to the others.

 

[Noodle Time]

Ren sighed "Raccoon hunting? what? were all the cockroach hunts closed? I know you said we'd get the worst tier jobs but even this feels beneath us" they commented as they pushed their hair out of their face, Ren looked like they were about to flip the room upside down "from protecting the moderately rich to hunting down overgrown rodents, oh how the mighty fall" they chuckled, truth be told it wasn't going to be hard to hunt raccoons, they had magic and knives on their side but even so, the job almost felt like an insult to their talents.

"I guess we best set off before the raccoons become wary and fight against us" they added a hint of sarcastic venom to their voice and made sure the quest giver heard them too "the sooner we rank up the better because I swear I'm not hunting wild life for all eternity...and Gods know that may be how long I'm tethered to this life"

 

[Thanny]

Preface

Midlife everything was going swimmingly for Alto. One of the primaries among the top council of a leading company, she had the manageable practice of leading the charge of many a situation while keeping her hands "clean." While this is customary for business, dark and dirty dealings lay underneath her mask, resulting in the dissolution of hundreds or even thousands of lives left to the extremes poverty provides those in the dead of winter. No food and not even wood to thaw ice and provide heat was cataclysmic to a city, and the results brought the axe to one of her superiors who was tasked with providing them much in terms of provisions. All according to plan, she thought, and similar experiences throughout years brought her to her current power, but she did not expect the upper echelons to bring the hammer down upon her life.

During one night with no other significance, she was ambushed in her home and stabbed by a poisonous blade. The poison played with her mind as her tormentors jeered, and she suffered a slow death filled with shadowy images of nightmarish creatures that flickered here and there, and flashed their gnashing teeth at her where other beings would have eyes.

Meeting the goddess filled her with the height of bone-chilling fear, realising that her time has come, but the punishment she anticipated was staved off for the moment for what seemed like a test run. She was to be reborn as something she hated, but the goddess in all of her wisdom refused to answer her what she would become. With a mirthful smile the goddess sent her on her way, and life restarted from the earliest of youth.

Giltarn Valleycarver, as she was christened in this life, was male. He was a dwarf. All of his femininity was replaced by a masculinity irrevocable as hair proliferated his head, especially a beard that persisted to grow by the age of nine, and his short stature even for his brethren did not provide him much comfort growing up. Instead of humbly accepting what was in store for him, Giltarn brooded, and he filled his new life with the skills learned from his previous one: control, manipulate, yearn for the top. While inept in many a way, including having an ability that the goddess intimated ever so slightly which he deemed subpar, he became a significant contender in school and became more capable in physical exercises. The bow and crossbow utilised his built, untoned, manly muscles, and his eagle eye and trained skills ensured a successful hit to nearly every shot, even at great range. Giltarn was accepted in the dwarven military where he earned accolades, but not in the areas he wanted.

After several years in the military without the quick growth he wanted, Giltarn decided to patch up the mistake by going freelance, and left the military with the signatures of four of five generals accepting his permanent leave. To be worshiped, to be praised, and moreover to be superior -- he craved the enviable position of the hero, and wished to knock the current hero off of his gilded perch. And, come heck or high water, he was going to achieve it without a fall in grace. But all of this is but a foreword, and the real story was about to begin.

*~*~*~*~*~*

From the depths of the forest a dwarven ranger laden with supplies stooped a little closer to the ground, glided to the safety of a thick nearby oak tree, and perked his ears. Going through the depths of the forest en route to a new city and a new life armed with all of his personal belongings. Minimum noise was his goal in order to not attract or distract wildlife -- his pots were secured and muffled by a bedroll -- and once his supplies died down in noise he overheard conversation and sounds of combat. Slimes, he gathered, but he could not place the others. Vagabonds? Bandits? Miscreants? Adventurers? He could not say, but after a slight bout of eavesdropping he heard some interesting, juicy information.

"This life," he heard from someone tall with pointy ears, probably an elf. ". . . white raccoon cadavers," he also heard in lighter, airy tones. Perhaps adventurers hoping to score a reward of some kind, which maybe he can party with in order to achieve his goal, but the first bit of information caught his attention.

Could it be? No, it cannot be, he thought to himself, but in the end he could not assuage his curiosity. Maybe this group, should they choose to accept his company, would be enough of a start or, even better, a start of something grander. Slipping out from behind his tree, probably thirty paces away, he gathered his wits and stepped closer. His crossbow would be evident to the party, harmless as-is, but strapped to his belongings in a way easy to be pried off.

"Then perhaps I can assist you in this hunt and move you on to bigger, better things?" he voiced in as kindly a manner as he was able, threads of a softer tone punctuating the air. "Giltarn's the name. I am an archer by trade. I can score you a few fallen creatures and earn you a few more brownie points in the guild." He patted his crossbow. "What do you say?"

 

[ScatheAriiasqDrayceon]

Flame snorted at the Thief's whining, ears flicking. "Just be glad it's easy and we aren't going to be hazed," they drawled, following their companions out. Even with their confidence that they wouldn't get jumped, they were set on edge, footsteps turning light and soft, barely audible.

That's why they heard the sound of another pair of feet in the grass.

Okay, so maybe Seven's warnings put them on edge, and maybe Ariiasq had an iron grip on the release of their magic. So when they zeroed in on the perceived threat, they pulled on three of their abilities. Hard.

The air took on a chill as Flame gathered its heat, even taking some from the two people beside them, though not enough to be dangerous. Frost coated the branches of trees, and the air ignited into a stream of gold-orange fire that hovered around Flame's arms like a chaos scarf.

They stared at the dwarf that'd popped out of the bush, noting the weapon and the arrogant posture. Flame snarled, baring their teeth, tail lashing behind them.

Okay, yeah, fine, they were a bit on edge.

Well, at least their first assessment of the dwarf was right. The way it spoke was all-too confident. 'I can move you onto bigger and better things'? That was a confident move for someone with limited ammo.

As it reached for its crossbow, Flame bristled and the fire unraveled from their arms, rising up to their head defensively to prepare to incinerate the dwarf if need be, though the strain of keeping their thermokineses active was getting harder to hide; it was a short term ability, and not supposed to be held for as long as they are.

 

[Thanny]

Confidence is certainly oozing out of the dwarf even as it was gazing this death gargoyle in the face, a stony look on his countenance and a discerning eye. The dward did not even raise his hand to his crossbow, but those familiar with magic could tell that he was ready to summon a spell by the words half-formed on his lips and an aura of air shivering around himself, ready to form a shell of swirling wind to shunt off the worst of the blow if struck by fire. Some of his belongings might catch on fire, but most were woven out of hemp and flax, so they should survive anything less than a strong blaze.

"It seems I struck a chord," he answered, winking good-naturedly at the half-dragon. "Permit me, then, to say that I am not doing this purely out of generosity, but out of necessity as well. I have my own lofty goals, but need fellows to accompany me, or I them, rather. Would you happen to be adventurers or did I mistake your conversation about white raccoons as something other than a job hunt?"

 

[Noodle Time]

Ren watched as the two fought and took a few steps back, they weren't going to fight a stranger, especially on an empty stomach "hey just don't hit me. Take each other out for all I care but if you so much as touch a hair on my head I'll end you both" Ren looked serious for once and tapped their knives to prove they meant what they said. "Also who hears the word 'raccoon' and decides to jump out of the bushes? I'm the only one who hides behind trees and eavesdrops here, get your own thing!" they laughed as they looked at the two and shook their head.

 

[TanteRegenbogen]

"It is an entry level trial quest. What do you expect? They wont go asking new adventurers to kill basilisks or clear a cave on their first quest." Vaea said. "If we stick to doing jobs and finding valuable stuff, I bet we can rise up pretty quickly."

Soon a dwarf popped out nearby. The dwarf offered to help them. Flame was ready to fight the dwarf. Vaea herself was also kind of weary, maybe not as on edge as Flame though.

"You know. It is kind of strange for a stranger to just pop out of the grass, introduce themselves and offer their help. Honestly, I'd give you a chance since usually three people in a party is kind of small. And if you turn out to have ill will, I can still tear your head off or kill you in another way later." Vaea said with a grin on her face, fully serious about the killing traitors part. "Yes, I may not look the part, but I have been blessed with the strength of a bear ability. In my experience though, strength of a bear is still an understatement for the full scale of the ability."

Vaea's hand glowed blue and she took a swing in the air between Flame and the dwarf trying to catch them off guard. The force of the punch along created a boom in the air. "Now, now. Let's just talk over this." Vaea said joyfully.

 

[ScatheAriiasqDrayceon]

If there was one thing Seven had hammered into Flame's brain, it was to never let your focus narrow to one enemy at a time.

However, that did not include listening to people speaking, and the voices fuzzed out in favor of listening to their environment, ears perking and flicking as they picked up on something then dismissed it in the same moment.

They didn't think, and just reacted as a blue glow lit up the corner of their vision, throwing themself backward and slamming the heat into the ground in front of them with slightly explosive force, the flames rising and flaring now that they weren't confined by Flame's abilities, which faded as soon as they released the heat, a horrid stinging clawing its way up their chest and sinking into their skin, the slightest trickle of blood seeping out of their nose from the abrupt use of not two, but three of their more powerful abilities.

By that time, Flame was running off instinct, pupils pinned against the light and not allowing them to see anyone, forcing them to use the others' thermal signatures instead of their vision to identify them,

The assassin snarled, staring past the fire without even being able to see anything. "Your voice drips with more toxicity than a poisoned blade," they spat, baring their fangs. "Do you demean others' skills to inflate your own, or are you just a poor conversationalist? I dislike the stench of pride, and you seemed to have made a perfume of it."

 

[Noodle Time]

Ren watched everyone and sighed, they weren't used to working with people and two people already seemed like a lot but now someone else was joining the party? "I still don't think we need help killing overgrown rats in all fairness but it isn't my call" they tapped their knives again and hummed a small tune to themselves, they untied the ribbon in their hair and firmly tied it around their throat instead, their hair fell to their shoulders. "So why is a dwarf even stalking a party of 3 out here? Did he see what he thought was two helpless maidens and come running?" Ren changed the pitch of their voice to sound more feminine and then laughed as they finished their sentence "looks can be deceiving though, especially where we're concerned I guess"

 

[Thanny]

Giltarn looked about, smile dropping entirely, especially at the menacing crack of a blow to the air released by what looked like a young elfin lady. What exactly did he step into? Were all adventurer groups like this? Did he sign up into something he did not fully comprehend? So many complexities, but then again being born anew with all of your former memories . . . well, that in itself is quite complex. One thing is for sure, however: when in this group, never let your hair completely down. All three seemed like quite the murderous souls from the start.

"Well well, all three of you certainly seem like you can handle yourselves. That is good. I meant no ill will and continue to mean such -- I am but a soldier moving on from his line of work. One of you makes a point that three is a mite shy of a fireteam, but another also speaks truth: looks can be deceiving."

With a wink at Ren, Giltarn later gave a half-bow towards the group of an older style than his age would suggest, if anyone was familiar with that kind of thing.

"If you would be willing to accept my tongue, I would be willing to offer something for that nose of yours and help with the hunt. I have some cold poultices, herbs, water, and even a handkerchief or two. Just let me know. While I am no healer, I do have supplies."

 

[TanteRegenbogen]

"Well, the quest is to bring five raccoon cadavers per person. So basically it is not helping if he hunts his own five raccoons." Vaea said. "I am willing to give him a chance and he has been warned not to cross us. What say you?"

Vaea chuckled at the notion of there being maybe two or three ladies in the troupe and that looks could be deceiving. "I may look feminine but I am rather in between. My parents referred to me as a boy, despite seeming to dress me feminine. As for me, I dont really mind if you see me as male or female. Let's just say I have the brawn of muscular fist fighter guy but the charm of a woman." She said and winked with a cutesy expression. "But I guess I may have been a macho in a past life."

"I'd say, if you want to join, then sign up for the adventurer's guild and accept that quest." She continued.

 

[Noodle Time]

Ren shrugged as they rearranged their skirt and looked at Giltarn "Whatever, if they're joining us though they better hurry, I wanna eat some time this side of the week" they chuckled "also don't go getting any ideas about me either, I'm neither male nor female and the last person who wanted to "find out" what I really was ended up with a busted set of ribs" they smiled again and laughed "and if you do join us, then let me be the first to welcome you to the bottom rung of the Guild, where the quests seem to obscurely tedious it makes one wonder, what do they intend to do with 20 raccoon pelts...and who's sanctioning the money to pay us for them?" Ren raised an eyebrow as they started to think and seemed to forget about the entire conversation

 

[ScatheAriiasqDrayceon]

Ariiasq growled at the... slimy... yes, that was a good word to describe him, dwarf, spitting a puff of smoke derisively. "Touch me and I'll sear the sun into your skin," they spat, eyeing the side of a house before scaling up to the second floor windows, as far from the group as they could manage without outright running. They'd shown their aptitude for leaping across trees, already, so buildings were no issue.

"Associate me with either of the binaries and I'll rid you of yours."

They paused a moment and took a long, deep breath, banishing their lingering abilities before stealing back the lowest energy-wise, which happened to be thermal immunity. Useful, at least.

They wiped the blood off their face, casing one last glance at the group before hauling themself up onto the roof and starting to jog where the group was originally heading, tail still twitching in some vague emotion resembling contempt.

 

[Thanny]

"Ah-h-h, then it is by the number of people! A fair trade. As for identity, it seems that we are just as diverse as plants," Giltarn voiced, eyeing the troupe with additional curiosity. " 'Tis a good thing I don't fall in love easy like some gallivanting hero I know."

There it is again. Past life, and different person this time. This could not be a common phrase to be used twice in a single setting, could it? he thought in quick succession. This is a subject for another time, of course. Anything in lieu of discussing something as far-fetched as my tale if I am wrong would jettison me from this bunch immediately. I must bide for now and wait for my chance to ask from these curious individuals. They have more spice of life in them than the dwarven military has tasteless stale bread.

"I will be back after signing up," he called out, turning his back upon the group and waving goodbye with the flick of his wrist. "Don't travel too far now."

The process seemed like an indefinite amount of time had passed, slow for him because he was in a bit of a rush, but fast in terms of content. Adventuring seemed like a chore for which to integrate oneself. Once the allotted time has passed, he looked around to see if the others were still about, and if not he would go in search for the white raccoons by milling about, fetching a map pf the surrounding territories, and asking for the creatures' general area.

 

[TanteRegenbogen]

The dwarf went away to sign up and get the quest. Vaea then pondered: "What if we find a strong beast during our hunt? Maybe there is not just raccoons to kill, but maybe we run into better stuff that we could sell to the adventurer's guild."

Vaea then looked to Flame and carefully pat them on the back. "Come on. Ease up a little. If he tries something funny, he knows what he's in for and it would be outright stupid to try something malicious knowing that one could ripped to pieces by three strong feminine figures." Vaea said as she grinned. "Anyways, if we make a subguild or the like, what could we call ourselves? We do need an identifier and can't just be referred as the ambiguous three and the dwarf."

(Sorry about short post. Didn't know what else to write.)

 

[Noodle Time]

Ren shrugged "I'm not really a naming person in all honesty so I have no clue for this one" Ren looked behind them and shrugged "as far as the dwarf is concerned I think we can trust him, if he tries something funny though I say we steal his stuff and beat him up" they laughed at the thought and then sighed "for real though? who is paying for these raccoon skins and stuff? What are they needed for?" Ren was still caught up on this quest, it seemed so trivial and minor but they wondered who was even paying for such a job

 

[Thanny]

"If you'd ask me, a trial quest is more for clearing away nuisances than anything else," chimed in the dwarf upon returning, only hearing the latest questions Ren asked and not at all hearing about party names. He shuffled over to the group and smiled, holding up his adventure guild pamphlet. "I never knew adventurers adhered to such rules and acquired such benefits. It almost seems like the guild is an agency rather than a mead hall, which is a fair bit different from my home city of Fergaranak. Then again, that branch of the guild did not really have adventurers as much as retired ex-militants."

He cracked a grin towards the group and, folding the pamphlet into a neat square, stuffed the pamphlet into his loaded pack.

"Shall we hunt? The faster we can get it done, the more money and prestige we earn."