MaskyOrGhosty
Your Local Psychopath & Goddess of Death :3
PART 1 - Friends and Family (IRL Friend Groups- TwT)! :3
*-+* WARNING: Mention of Violence, Murder, and Mentally Unstabled People *+-*
Sunny: You kill people for money?!
Kai(Me): I can explain!
Sunny: And all this time I’ve been doing it for free like a chump!
Kai: *Kicks the door down looking panicked*
Sunny: What did you do?
Kai: Nobody died.
Sunny: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!
Mal: While I’m gone, Kai, you’re in charge.
Kai: Yes!!!
Mal, whispering: Sunny, you’re secretly in charge.
Sunny: Obviously.
Kody: Okay, help me please!
Sunny: Got two words for you.
Kody: I bet they won't be helpful.
Sunny: Your. Problem.
Kody: I was right
Rena: Hah! 69! You know what that means?
Lizzy: What?
Sunny: That you're a child.
Kai: HOW'D YOU GUESS MY IQ!?
Sunny: Schrödinger’s cat is overrated. If you wanna see something that’s both dead and alive you can talk to me any time of the day.
Lizzy: Why isn’t the statue smirking at me?
Mal: It isn’t smirking at anyone, they’re all just imagining it.
Lizzy: Three of us saw it, Mal. How do you explain that?
Mal: *points at Sunny* Sleep deprivation. *points at Kai* Paranoia. *points at Kody* Delusional personality disorder.
*Kody and Kai are doing something absurdly dangerous*
Kai: I think Houdini did something like this once! Why, if I recall correctly, he was out of the hospital in no time!
Kody, deadpan: Well that's encouraging.
Sunny: We’ve been conducting an ongoing study to see what Kai will and will not eat.
Kody: Grass? Yes!
Sunny: Moss? Yes!!
Kody: Leaves? Ohh, yes!
Sunny: Shoelaces? Strange but true!
Kody: Worms? Sometimes!
Sunny: Rocks? Usually nah.
Kody: Twigs? Usually!
Sunny: Rena's cooking? Inconclusive!
Mal: How did you… test this?
Sunny: You just hand them stuff and say ‘eat this’ and if they eats it, they eats it.
Mal: ... I don’t know how to feel about this.
Rena: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SPARE SHOELACES WENT?
Mal: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life
Kody: Self-esteem, haven't seen you in years!
Kai: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this!
Lizzy: I knew I lost that potential somewhere!
Sunny: My moral code, is that you?
Mal:
Mal: I was just gonna show you all the random earrings I've lost and my old rock collection but do you guys need a hug?
Lizzy, struggling to keep upright in their 1 inch heels: Yeah, I-I don’t really think heels are for me
Sunny, pointing at them and walking flawlessly in sparkly golden 6 inch heels: WEAK.
Kody: Everytime I hear someone talking about updog, I’m torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help them complete their joke.
Lou: Okay, but what is updog?
Mal: Updog is a long sausage in a bun, often served with ketchup, mustard, onions, and/or relish.
Kai: No, that’s a hot dog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released.
Sunny: No, that's an update. You’re thinking of the fourth largest city in Sweden.
Lizzy: Surely, that’s Uppsala, where’s updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter.
Kody: That’s Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs.
Kai: You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current.
Mal: No, that’s an updraft. An updog is the modern version of a henway.
Lou: What’s a henway??
Kody: Oh, about five pounds.
Kody: Sunny, can I talk to you for a second?
Sunny: Yeah, what’s up? Lemme guess. You and Aurora are having problems and you want me to teach you how to kiss?
Kody: What? No, stop that. I know how to kiss. I’ve read books.
Mal: Not enough to know how to speak proper fucking English.
Sunny: Favorite horror movie?
Lizzy: It
Kody: Saw
Rena: Annabelle
Kai: High School Musical. after watching it I spent all my middle school years terrified that the entire school would start singing something and I’d be the only one who didn’t know the lyrics
Mal: Everyone, synchronize your watches.
Kody: I don’t know how to do that.
Sunny: I don’t wear a watch.
Kai: Time is a construct.
Mal: Violence isn't the answer.
Kai: You’re right.
Mal: *sighs in relief*
Kai: Violence is the question.
Mal: What?
Kai, bolting away: And the answer is yes.
Mal, running after them: NO-
Sunny: When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying 'Haven’t decided yet' is typically a good response.
Kai: So that’s my plan.
Mal: Are you alright with constructive criticism? I don’t want to sound mean.
Kai: No, go ahead, I want to hear it.
Mal: It fucking sucks.
Kai: That’s not constructive criticism.
Mal: You're right, I'm sorry let me be constructive. your plan fucking sucks, its unclear, contradicting, and going to get us all killed.
(Insert random Villain): Well, aren’t you all a rag-tag group of adventurers with unclear goals and good hearts! Oh, let me guess: you’re out to save the world!
Kai: Well, actually, that sounds like a pretty fair assessment.
Sunny: More or less, I guess...
Kody: That sounds awesome! Let’s do that!
Lou: I’m new here, but I am open to the concept.
Mal: I thought that’s what we were doing, guys, come on!
Sunny's Brother: Stop buying plastic skeletons for Halloween! It's terrible for the environment!
Kai: Yeah! Locally sourced, all natural skeletons are much more environmentally friendly!
Lou: I really like this whole ‘good guy, bad guy’ thing you guys have going on.
Sunny: It’s not an act, it’s just that I’m mean and Kai isn’t
Mal, driving Kai and Sunny: So how was your day?
Kai: We almost got surprise adopted!
Mal: What?
Sunny: We almost got kidnapped.
Mal: Oh, okay.
Mal: *slams on the breaks* WAIT WHAT?!
Mal: Guys, what color would you say Kai's armor is?
Lizzy: Gray?
Kody: Yeah, gray.
Sunny: Like a dark gray, yeah
Mal, to Kai: Now, tell them what color you said.
Kai: ... Dark white.
Kody: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time?
Kai: The car takes a screenshot.
Sunny: For the last time, get the fuck out.
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