Identity Crisis: The Next Generation 1x1 CLOSED RP

[NRTupper]

It's not that she didn't like the kid, she just wasn't used to company. Hannah had lived alone since graduating. In reality it hadn't been that long but to her it felt like ages. She wasn't sure how this would work out. So far he seemed like a quiet, polite kid but it wasn't really him that bothered her so much as simply having someone else in her space.


She liked being alone.


Hot, scalding water poured over her fingers. It took a few seconds before she registered the pain and let out a yelp. But in her haste to escape the discomfort, she let go of the kettle and hot water hit the floor and splashed her lower legs. The shriek that escaped her was not a sound she was particularly proud of but in her haste to escape, she didn't have time to consider what a fool she was making of herself.


Note to self. Don't pour hot water into your tea while preoccupied..


"Hannah!" Her coworker, Missy, hurried her way. "Oh my god! Are you okay?"


"Ow!"


Missy grabbed a towel and helped to pat her dry but the damage was done and Hannah's hand was on fire. Her legs hadn't taken as much damage, thankfully. She regretted wearing a skirt now, though. Thankfully her tights were thick and had absorbed most of the water.


She'd only been at the job three months. This was the last sort of thing she wanted to happen. She must seem so incompetent! What kind of idiot spilled hot water on herself? And oh god, were those tears in her eyes? She blinked rapidly to try and blink them away.


"What works for burns? Here, let's run your hand under cold water," Missy tugged her toward the sink.


"Ow, ow," Hannah wanted to say something like; 'I'm fine. It's nothing.' But she couldn't.


***


First day of college. Rowan didn't feel particularly confident as he stepped into his first class. He knew he was probably younger than everyone else in the room. He knew his schooling had been very different from theirs. He was homeschooled. His parents had never quite trusted the public school system and for his entire life he lived under their careful watch and control.


This was the first time in his life that he was not only without them, but halfway across the world. He still couldn't quite believe it was happening. It had taken months of pleading, hard work and persistence but he'd convinced them to let him go.


He wanted this experience. He wanted 'normal', if only for a few years. He was safe enough. The world wasn't the same world his parents had feared. Besides, he could take care of himself, they'd made sure of that.


But, while all that was true, he still didn't really know what he was doing. Not yet.


He made his way to a desk as close to the back as he could get and slipped into a seat. How did people make friends? How did they form social groups? Should he just approach someone and speak? What if they couldn't understand him because of his accent? He'd worked hard to learn how to speak more clearly but he'd grown up surrounded by Ukrainian and it was difficult to shake the accent that he'd grown used to.


He took a moment to survey the room.


He intended to memorize all their faces. He would know them all, he was determined.

 

[Elle Joyner]

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[NRTupper]

"Here, try this." Gentle but strong hands grasped her scalded one and wrapped it in a damp, cool towel.


"Tha-" Hannah lifted her gaze and found herself struck dumb as she saw the gorgeous creature before her. It was the hair, that delightfully trying to be curly hair that really got her right in the chest. It was so ... lovely.


"Oh, hello," Missy smiled at the newcomer, her concern melted away in the face of an attractive new face.


Hannah blinked harder to try and chase away the tears. She really didn't want to be crying now. Especially now. Her legs were warm but she really didn't think she'd burned them so she shook her head in answer to his next question. Did she get herself anywhere else? No.


"Do you know anything about burn treatment? Her fingers look really red," Missy said, except her concern felt a little less sincere now. Especially with the way she was looking at the curly-headed, baby-faced dreamboat.


No, not baby-faced. Adonis-faced.


God. Stop it, Hannah.





Hannah lifted her non-burned hand so she could grasp the towel and try to pull her hand away from his grasp. He was making her head spin. She didn't like that. She also didn't like how badly her fingers were shaking.


Why was she such a big baby? She wasn't used to pain though, and really not that great at dealing with it. Partly because it hurt, mostly because it made her remember and she preferred to pretend she couldn't remember.


*****


The woman who sat before him, and leaned back to whisper to him, was exotic. He couldn't think of any other way to describe her. Exotic, and beautiful. He felt his lips tilting in an easy smile. It was hard not to smile in the face of this lovely creature.


He leaned toward her so he could respond in kind, "My high school class could fill this seat."


He held out his hand, "Rowan. And you are?"


This was it, the moment he started to forge friendships. The moment he put himself out there and started to forge social connections.


Only... was this how he was supposed to do this? Was she going to think him odd? Before she could respond to his outstretched hand, another student dropped into the seat beside her. "Hey, girl." And this student flashed a swarmy grin and leaned into the girl.


Was that the norm for approaching women? Rowan strongly suspected it wasn't a welcome, or terribly effective approach but he decided to watch and listen.

 

[Elle Joyner]

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[NRTupper]

"Melissa Carter," Missy held out her hand to him, practically edging herself between the new curly-headed cutie and Hannah.


Hannah stumbled back, lifting her hand to her mouth so she could lightly blow on her pink fingers. Shoot. What a terrible way to start the morning. She glanced over Missy's shoulder at the newcomer before bending down to retrieve the dropped kettle and carrying it to the sink. She had no interest in competing for his attention, not when her head was still spinning.


She couldn't stop another look at his curly-head though. So cute!


"And that's Hannah Dean."


Hannah Dean. It so didn't suit her. But part of the conditions of her living on her own was taking on a new identity so she couldn't be linked to her parents. She'd chosen Dean because it was the first name of her favorite character from a TV show she absolutely loved. When they asked her to pick a new surname, of course she'd chosen Dean.


She glanced back at the sound of her name and offered a smile. But before she could say anything, Missy was speaking again.


"We heard you were coming. To replace Max. Oh, poor Max. It really was unfortunate, what happened. But I'm sure you'll be fine. Security has been tightened up after what happened to him."


Max. Hannah grimaced at the memory. Poor Max was right. His patient seemed like a simple anxiety case, but in the end the guy showed up with a knife. If Hannah hadn't been there to intercept Max's injuries might have been worse. As it stood, he'd sustained a deep knife wound in the shoulder and had developed severe PTSD. He tried to come back to work after but just couldn't handle it.


Poor guy.


****


Rowan chuckled softly at the slight burn. She was smooth, and intelligent. He liked her. He surveyed the rest of the room, taking a minute to study the faces of the others.


She hadn't given him her name but the teacher entered the room and called everyone to order so there wasn't an opportunity to ask.


When class was over, Rowan followed her out into the hall. He waited until the other guy finally gave up and wandered off before he made his way to her side.


"I'll take you up on that offer of a tour, if you'll tell me your name," he hoped she'd noticed him following. It didn't occur to him until after he spoke that he should have waited until she saw him.

 

[Elle Joyner]

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[NRTupper]

"Oh, well, nevermind about Max. It was just an accident. A freak accident," Missy said, covering quickly.


Hannah refilled the kettle and flipped it back on. Burned fingers or not, she wanted her damned tea. She was already over Mr. Curly-Head. He was cute, but in her experience looks could tell you nothing about a person internally. Some of the cutest people she knew had the darkest, most twisted minds. Not that she planned to peek into Mr. Chamber's mind. His thoughts were none of her business.


She tenderly blew on her fingers again. They ached, but it wasn't as bad a pain anymore.


The image came from nowhere. A memory within a memory. Of burning flesh. Screaming souls. She leaned into the counter, letting out her breath in a soft sigh.


Focus.





What was wrong with her today? What was all of this? Was it because of Rowan? Was he pulling up all these unpleasant thoughts. She'd spent her whole life pretending she couldn't remember. She'd done it to protect her parents. She didn't want them to be sad, or to worry. Of course she hadn't forgotten. She'd never forget.


And why did Chambers have to have such delicious hands.


Woah. Geez louise, girl. What the hell is wrong with you.


From burning flesh to delightful hands. She had no idea what Chambers and Missy were talking about at this point, she was too deeply lost in her own thoughts.


"I am a rehabilitation counselor," Missy said. "I help people who have been recently injured to adjust to their now altered lifestyles. Hannah, however, is a psychiatrist. I know, too young, right? But that's what she is. Speaking of young, what is your specialty? Max primarily did social work. Helping to rehabilitate criminals and the like. Personally that's not a field I could tackle."


****


"I'm lying," Rowan said, "I don't need a tour. Sorry, I uh... look, I'll be honest. I have no idea what I'm doing. Being homeschooled I've spent the majority of my life alone and I've never been in a place with this many people and I just figure I'd rather stick with you than go it alone. If you don't mind the company?"


He had ulterior motives. She seemed like a nice girl. He was sure she had a social network and if he could befriend her, he could potentially hit that network too which would allow him to meet more people, make more friends, and integrate himself into the social life on campus. Ultimately, that was his goal.


Integration. Total and complete conformity.


For him it was a challenge, like a test that he desperately wanted to pass.


"I'm probably being weird, aren't I?" He asked. He knew he was smiling a lot but he couldn't stop it.

 

[Elle Joyner]

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[NRTupper]

That part Hannah heard. Trauma? PTSD? Sometimes she thought she might suffer from it herself but she'd always been too stubborn to seek any help. Besides, who would she talk to? She couldn't tell people what she'd been through. They'd never believe her, she'd probably get labeled as schizophrenic. Hell, if she hadn't experienced it she'd probably label herself the same.


The only reason she'd gone into her field is because it was easy to peek into someone's head and determine if their brain was working properly. The problem with her, however, is that nobody could do the same. Nobody could peek inside and see if she was lying, if she was faking it for attention, or if she was truly sick.


"Eight brothers?" Missy gasped, "And four in the military? That's something else!"


"Oh crap," Hannah sighed when she saw the time, "I have an appointment."


She pushed away from the counter, casting the kettle a longing glance. There was no time to wait for the water to reheat. Her tea would have to wait until after her appointment.


"Mr. Chambers," she waved her still aching but not burned beyond repair fingers at him, "nice to meet you."


"But, you haven't had your tea," Missy pointed out as Hannah hurried away.


Hannah looked back and shrugged, "Nothing I can do about that now!"


And sure enough, as she slipped out of the break room into the lobby her client was walking in. It was easy enough to shake off the memories, the tea and Mr. Chambers as she slipped into professional mode.


Missy sighed, turning back to Jackson as Hannah hurried out, "Well... I have a client coming in soon as well. Did you need a tour before I go? I could show you to your office?"


Not that the building was large. She was fairly certain they'd already placed his name plague on his new office door but she just wanted an excuse to spend more time with him. Gosh, he was adorable. Too bad she had a boyfriend... but she could look, couldn't she?


****


He didn't actually buy the story about the text being from her mother. Something about her demeanor spoke of something else, a kind of sadness. Maybe it was from her mom and she was homesick? Either way he nodded at her invitation. "Coffee sounds great."


Then she was commenting on his accent and he laughed sheepishly, "I worked so hard to hide it! Is it that obvious? I'm from Ukraine. That's part of why I was homeschooled, the school system out there isn't exactly the best at this time. My parents were pretty determined they could do better on their own and I think they did pretty well. I mean, obviously I lack the social skills common to publicly schooled kids but hey, that's part of my charm maybe? What about you? Where are you from?" He knew he was talking a lot but he was nervous. He wanted so badly to make a friend of her. He never failed anything he put his mind to, he didn't want to start with something as simple as this. Especially when she seemed to kind and accepting.

 

[Elle Joyner]

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[NRTupper]

The knock surprised her, she was just getting her client to settle in when she heard it. She slipped the door open and there he was with her tea. "Oh," she looked from the cup to his face, back to the cup, to his face. Was this for real? Was he for real?


She took the cup from him, and as she sniffed it she couldn't stop the soft smile that tilted her lips. Why was she so happy? It was just tea! Damn. But she felt all warm inside. Strange. This was an unfamiliar feeling.


"Um, thanks. I'm just with a client but... join me for lunch?"


What a strange thing to say. She barely knew him! Why the hell was she inviting him out for lunch? She felt her eyes widening and her cheeks flushing as she realized what she'd said.


Before he could respond she closed the door in his face.


Crap.


Could you pretend to be normal for even a minute?





Her client sat in the armchair behind her, his head cocked, his gaze full of curiosity. Hannah coughed delicately and made her way back to her desk. "So, um, where were we?"


She'd find Chambers at lunch and apologize. Although, after all that she was pretty sure he wouldn't be interested in lunching with her.


****


"Sounds... fantastic." Rowan had been raised in the city. It was easy to blend in there, to disappear. It was also easier to get lost, so his parents had never let him too far out of their sight.


"Jer?" He asked as he grabbed a cup for himself. He added two sugar cubes, then two more, took a sip and added a third for good measure. Honestly, he hated coffee. It was just an excuse to get to know her and if he had to endure the black liquid bitterness, he would spice it up a bit.


He looked around as he waited for a response. As always he was taking in his surroundings. He couldn't help it. It was a habit his parents had deeply ingrained in him, but also he was determined to know all these people. Somehow, someway, he would do it. He wanted to. It was his own personal challenge, his goal.


But as he looked at them all he couldn't help but feel he might have set a larger goal than he could meet this time. Oh well, there was no harm in trying.

 

[Elle Joyner]

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[NRTupper]

It was hard sometimes to shake off their thoughts. The client before her lunch break was suffering from massive delusions. The only trouble was she was still having trouble discerning if they were chemically induced or natural to him. She suspected drug usage, but sometimes it was hard to tell. Today he kept thinking about murdering her. It wasn't an entirely pleasant daydream to slip into and she was glad to see that he actively fought the images, but it was discerning nonetheless.


She almost forgot about her invitation to Chambers, until she walked by his door. Right. After being so rude, after everything, she couldn't just leave him hanging.


She rapped her knuckles on the door, then yelped because while her hand wasn't terribly burnt, it still kind of hurt. Or maybe the pain was psychological? Sometimes, even with herself, she just couldn't tell. She shook out her hand and waited for him to open up. She would be glad for the company. If nothing else, maybe he'd help her forget her clients deranged little daydreams.


****


"I've never lived in a small town. I've always been in the city and it's... lonely. Nothing like what you describe. Where I grew up, everyone was a stranger. Every face was new, different, unknown. I think I'd like your small town. I'm kind of tired of feeling like a ghost."


She went on to explain who Jer was and he was fascinated. Boyfriends. Girlfriends. Up to this point these were concepts he hadn't wasted much thought on. He knew these things happened, of course, but he'd been too busy being trained to worry much about romance.


"I've never had a girlfriend," he answered honestly because why hide it? Oh, wait, would that be considered odd? "Or a boyfriend," he added because he thought she might wonder that next.


He liked this back and forth. It was fun.


"My parents are crazy protective. In all honesty, I'm surprised they let me come here. In fact," he looked over his shoulder, "I wouldn't be surprised if they were around somewhere, watching. When I was a baby some mad-man kidnapped me and threw me off a balcony. They never really recovered from the trauma."


He knew it was a shocking story, and probably she wouldn't believe it, but it didn't feel like something he needed to hide and he knew sharing things like this helped people to bond.

 

[Elle Joyner]

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[NRTupper]

Hannah couldn't help but smile at his story. She wanted, desperately, to forget her morning clients. She needed a break from their delusions. "I'm sorry about this morning, actually. I think I was a little rude. I just... well, I guess I'm a big baby. A little bit of pain and bam! I can't think at all."


She backed away from the door once his jacket was on.


"Don't worry, I'll make sure you don't get lost," she smiled.


She hoped she didn't continue to make a fool of herself. There was no telling how long they'd be coworkers and she'd prefer a good working relationship.


She just hoped they didn't pass by Missy. If they did, the girl would be all over Chambers and then Hannah's hopes of a nice, quiet, normal lunch would be dashed. But then, if Missy did join them, it wouldn't seem like a date... because it wasn't. It couldn't be. Hannah didn't date. She'd made that mistake once and she would never, ever, ever, ever make the mistake of welcoming someone into her life again.


Her mother had been lucky, but she knew the chances of her finding someone like her father were slim to none and she had no desire to be hurt.


Speak, Hannah. Don't be awkward. Don't be weird.





"How was your morning? Meeting your new clients?"


****


Rowan laughed, "Sorry. It's not normal to drop a story like that first thing, is it? It was just some crazy guy who escaped from an asylum or something. I mean, I guess it was pretty traumatic but I was just minutes old and he only had me for a bit. I wasn't hurt, so it's not a big deal to me. But that's why they are like they are. Sometimes, they look at me with so much fear, like they think I might suddenly disappear. Being here, it's gotta be killing them. I had to start living though, you know? So I had to cut those apron strings."


He ran a hand over his hair, feeling awkward.


"Wow, uh, yeah, so... tell me more about your family. I'd like to hear a bit about normal!" He laughed.

 

[Elle Joyner]

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[NRTupper]

It felt like it might rain. She became further convinced of this when her hair almost immediately turned into a giant poof of static. Hannah sighed and made a mental note not to touch her hair.


"Did I look miserable?" She asked. She'd felt pretty miserable but she'd so hoped she'd hidden it.


Now she felt horrible, for making him uncomfortable on his first day... for letting her discomfort show. She headed north. There was a nice little soup shop up the road that she quite liked. Hannah was a bit of a soup fanatic, it was one of her favorite foods. Especially meaty soups, with lots of chewy bits in them.


"I avoided kettles, matches and anything hot," Hannah said with a smile at him. She felt better now that she was outside, moving, and away from the office.


"I have a client who is proving to be a bit difficult. I suspect he's using recreational drugs and that they are the cause of his delusions but I'm not certain. I finally convinced him to consent to drug testing so I hope to have an answer in a few days." She didn't usually have to work so hard to discern but this one was a particularly difficult case.


She slid her hands into her sweater pockets and tilted her head back to look up at the sky.


"I'm curious, what does your wife think of all the attention you get?" Because he must have a wife. He'd all but completely ignored Missy's advances. Very few men did that.


****


"Wow," Rowan couldn't imagine growing up without his father. It must have been so hurtful to have her father leave like that. What kind of a man could abandon his wife, his child like that? He was pretty sure there was no excuse good enough to explain that kind of abandonment.


"I'm sorry. About your dad."


He tried to change the subject quickly, because he didn't want to make her sad.


"You know, I have a feeling you and I are going to make good friends. In a way, we're both a bit out of our element, aren't we? You from your small town, me from my house." He laughed.


At least they had some kind of common ground, in not being used to a school of this size.

 

[Elle Joyner]

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[NRTupper]

His story hit her harder than she expected. She might have told him about what happened to Max, how she'd been the one to wrestle the knife out of the attackers hands, how scared she'd been for Max but ultimately she didn't want to go there. Not yet.


The change of subject to his wife and Missy would keep things lighter, on the surface, which is where she preferred they be.


"Husband? Sorry! It's not like one can look and tell but I really shouldn't assume. These days, especially, people don't have to lie about their orientation so there's no reason to default like that. Sorry. Anyway," she kept rattling on to try and deflect from her massive blunder. Of course he was gay. All the adorable ones were. And no straight man kept his clothes as tidy as Chambers clothes were.


"Here's the shop! Do you like soup? I love soup. Always have done, ever since I was a child." She pushed the door open and hurried inside.


The soup shop was small, with just six tables. It was almost always empty when she came in but she liked it that way, it's why she came here, so she could escape into the quiet.


****


"I like ramen noodles," Rowan said with mock indignation. Then he grinned and nodded, "I like that idea. And mark your words, I'll have more people lined up to join us. Just wait!"


She was a good start, but he intended to befriend as many as he could. He waved at her before gathering his own books and checking his schedule. He wasn't actually sure where his next class was but he was confident he could figure it out. Besides, if he had to ask directions it could be an excuse to introduce himself to more people along the way.

 

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[NRTupper]

"I do have someone special waiting at home," Hannah nodded at his question, "his name is Mr. Snuffles and he adores me more than any human ever could. Like you I don't have much time for human interpersonal relationships. It's easier to be alone. At the end of the hard days, I can curl up on the couch with a bowl of ice cream, Mr. Snuffles and Judge Judy and there's no one to question or criticize my questionable dietary choices."


She didn't need her menu but she toyed with it anyway.


"Their chicken soup is divine, it's all I have actually. For me it was love at first sip and I just didn't-"


The sharp image of a woman lying bleeding on the floor startled her out of her sentence. Generally she blocked the outside enough that she didn't see these sorts of things but thoughts carried by very strong emotions could sometimes bleed through. She couldn't stop the physical reaction, the soft gasp, the furtive glance.


Who was thinking these things?


The shop was nearly deserted but in the corner a young man was speaking to a young woman - the same woman Hannah had just 'seen' in her mind's eye. The same woman the young man was daydreaming about beating into a bloody pulp. Why would he think those things? She dared a deeper glimpse and there was such horror in his head she had to pull back out.


The dining hall was as large as everything else here, and packed with just as many people. He was glad for his height as he peered over heads, trying to spot her.


She wanted to warn the girl to run, to get far away from this man, but how could she?


This was the part she hated most about her 'gift'. Sometimes she saw things she really didn't want to because what could she do?


****


Anywhere else his 'hello, my name is Rowan,' approach might not have worked. Here, in America, where his accent was an oddity, he got a good reaction almost every time. He halfways suspected people were humoring him because they presumed his oddness was due to him coming from another country. He didn't mind, if that got him an in, so be it.


By three he was more than ready to spend more time with Layla. Of all the people he'd met today, she felt most 'authentic'. He wasn't quite sure what it was, but he felt drawn to her. Maybe because she was the first one he'd met today.


He was running a bit late but he'd been an idiot and not taken her number so he had no way of telling her.

 

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"What?" His voice jerked her out of her thoughts - his thoughts - horror. She focused on him, almost desperately and she knew it but right now he was a real, honest anchor and she needed him to keep her here.


She wasn't hungry anymore. And this, in actual fact, was how she managed to stay thin despite her raging sweet tooth. It only took one glimpse of something like that to chase away any thought of food.


She blinked rapidly, still trying to chase away the image in her head. Who could think such things? And it excited him. Gods.


Not today. She couldn't handle this today. The tightening of her chest. The narrowing of her vision. She knew she was gearing up for a panic attack and she pushed her chair back, wincing at how loudly it scraped against the floor. Now everyone was looking her way. "I-I need to use the bathroom!"


She'd only just met the man! She did NOT need to be having a panic attack right in front of him. And then, as she turned to head for the bathroom she saw the girl get up and head in the same direction. Maybe she could do something! Maybe she could scare the girl off and get her away from that man.


She hurried away from the table, stumbling, grabbing at her chest because her heart was beating like a drum and when helooked at her she wanted to vomit but pushed it away.


Scum.





His eyes widened and she realized belatedly that she'd just transmitted the thought. Great. She couldn't do it when she wanted but when she didn't want there her thoughts went willy nilly flying into scary mens heads.


****


"There were aliens," Rowan said immediately and as seriously as he could, "tons of them. An abduction and I think someone may have been anally probed but I wasn't going to ask. Your day didn't have aliens?"


He grinned as he slid into the seat opposite from her. He was relieved to see her face. Of all the people he'd met today, she felt like 'home'. Like an old friend he'd just reconnected with. He liked the feeling.


"No, actually, it was insanely dull. Blah blah, stuff I already know, introductions, blah blah. I have to believe things will get more interesting as we get into the nitty gritty. It's just dull because it's the first day, right?"

 

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It wasn't easy to convince the girl. Hannah pretended she was ex. She told a story of abuse, and it wasn't hard to fake the tears. The girl believed and Hannah was convinced she would avoid the guy after that. So long as he didn't go stalker crazy, she might be okay.


She splashed her face with cold water before leaving the bathroom and Chambers was on her so suddenly she could barely process what was happening. Then they were outside and he was talking about... wait, did he think-? But of course he did. The way she was acting there wasn't any other explanation, not really. Gods. But what could she do? She couldn't correct him because she had no other way of explaining her behavior. Or did she? Could she think of some excuse? No... she couldn't lie to him.


It wasn't lying if she just let him believe he was right, was it?


"But your lunch," she said weakly as they started back toward the office. She felt horrible now. Even if her appetite was completely gone, he was a big man and she was sure he needed some kind of food.


****


When she hugged him he didn't know what to do so he lamely patted her back until she pulled away. What on earth was that? And why did she smell so good? She was soft too, or at least the hair that had tickled his chin was.


He studied the flier, "Hm. I think, if it's not a plan of the aliens to get us into a large group, that it could be fun, actually. We could meet more people. And we could go together so if the people we meet suck, we'll still have fun. I'm down for it! But..." He plucked at his shirt, "do I need to change? Or will this do?"


He was wearing jeans, a black t-shirt and an open flannel shirt. It seemed like a good 'first day' outfit when he pulled it together but also he didn't really spend much time thinking about what to wear... instead, he just pulled on whatever he grabbed first.