I Want to Remember [Inactive]

[Lillian Gray]

Lillian Gray submitted a new role play:


I Want to Remember - Left to die, no memories to construct myself, but there you were.

My name? You think I would remember.
My fingers were burned, prints wiped clean with acid. You found me, I was cut and bruised. You thought I was dead. I wished I was, I prayed to every god I could remember to give me release. I begged for death. Then, there you were. My legs were broken, and my face was mangled into a near unrecognizable mask.


Help me.





Like a ragdoll, you easily picked me up. I woke up in the hospital.


What is my name?


Why don't I remember?


Don't...

Read more about this role play...

 

[Serinkaela]

Hello, I am quite new to this site so I must confess I don't know much of the ins and outs of starting a roleplay or joining one. I hope that simply introducing myself and supplying a character for evaluation will suffice. If not, I sincerely apologise. This looks like a very interesting story to get back into the swing of things.


Name: Mattias Thorne (Matty)


Age: 24


Gender: Male


Appearance: (5'11") Though he does not make an imposing first impression, one thing is very noticeable about Mattias, he has bright red hair. Disarrayed and typically uncut, it reaches a little past his ears and sometimes hangs into his eyes. He is not a very tall man, nor very large, but adequately muscled and conventionally attractive. His skin is somewhat pale, and has a few freckles over the shoulders and cheeks. And some on his knees, though he'll never show anyone that. He deigns to clothe himself in a casual grabs and button-up of varying colours, most towards the darker end of the spectrum. He has startlingly green eyes that have a perpetual look of boredom in them, though he is rather animated himself. He wears jewelry very occasionally, has no piercings, but a couple tattoos. (One of a cobra curled around his left side, close to the ribs; a set of intricate constellations scattered over his right shoulder)


Personality: Even tempered and calm, he is a kind person. A slight smile plays at his lips most always, as if he were remembering an old joke or a happy memory. Despite his lighthearted demeanour, he has a very dark sense of humour, and a great interest in the occult and grotesque. He will go out if his way to make others lives easier in whatever small ways he can, sensitive to the little things that make people tick and their nuances.


Bio/History: Matty's childhood is unknown to the general populous, he simply arrived one day in town, set up shop in an older home, cultivated a lovely garden and was generally pleasant, so his unfamiliar presence went unquestioned. He kept to himself unless approached, went out for drinks if asked, focused on his studies. He is known as a friendly, intelligent young man, if a bit of an eccentric recluse.


(I was thinking of a lost childhood friend sort of thing to connect him to the girl, if that is alright. Of course, I am more than open to suggestions.)


Occupation: Student/Bookstore worker. (Studies astronomy, with a music history minor, and education)


Likes: Plants, sweet coffee, music of all sorts, space, martial arts, movies and books, his cat (little black female with bright yellow eyes), friendly people, sarcasm, many other things.


Dislikes: Rudeness, loud noises, birds, unnecessary violence, most small animals (rodents, songbirds, etc. Though it's more of an annoyance than a dislike)


Other: His home is full of tropical plants and a few tanks of fish, a large telescope is placed of the balcony of the second floor, and all in all it is lushly furnished. He cooks well, cleans when needed, and enjoys keeping an organised sort of disarray about him. He smokes occasionally, and only drinks when going out.

 

[Lillian Gray]

((Like I said, don't worry about being new, no apology necessary! I still have a long ways to go with my skills in writing, thus, why I'm also new to this site. If you ever have any questions about starting, or joining, just anything at all, feel free to ask me!


The only thing I noticed right off the bat was the appearance. I love that you took the time to write out a description. Typically, as you might notice on other threads, people just use pictures. However, a nice hand written appearance is great, it always leaves a bit to the imagination.))


Name: Alice


Age: 22


Gender: Female


Appearance:

(5'6) She has short, dark brown hair and pale skin. Her eyes, are actually a light gray. This girl's body is frail from being left in the streets, and she is covered in cuts and bruises, some will scar, but some will not. She will wear anything, seeing as there are no memories with her. If she had a choice, she would rather wear darker colored clothes, and thinks frills are tacky. Elegance is the best choice, and if it were up to her, she would buy dresses in formal styles and wear business type clothes.


Personality: In the beginning, she is scared, so she doesn't talk much to people she doesn't originally know. Strangers terrify her, because she doesn't remember what happened, she doesn't trust anyone she doesn't know. Once she's calmed down and feels comfortable, she can be energetic and loves to talk and learn. She always looks as if she is thinking of a past happy event, she doesn't smile much, but her eyes are soft.


Bio/History: She does not remember much of her own history, or even her own name at the beginning of this tale. There are bits and pieces she can recall. Sometimes she believes she was a student, and is fairly sure she was studying to be a social worker, but has no idea if this is correct. All she knows is that she has no idea who she is.


Occupation: Unknown.


Likes: Flowers, peppermint, reading, rainy days, cats


Dislikes: Needles, strangers,


Other: Much of her information will be learned throughout the story, (I will do my best to keep an updated list as well as far as history and likes/dislikes go). She only trusts you, because you're the only who found her.

 

[Serinkaela]

((Ah yes, I had seen people including pictures with their descriptions. Unfortunately I could not find a picture that suited what I had in mind whatsoever, so I decided a more detailed description was the best way to go to paint the right picture.


So, for starting, if it isn't too much to ask, I would prefer if you began as it is your story and you would be able to set everything in motion much better than I. If there are no more things to straighten out, that is. ))

 

[Lillian Gray]

When the girl opened her eyes, there was nothing but darkness around her and a torrent of rain splashed down from above. Two stone walls rose high above her on either side, she lay on the ground in an alley. Then the pain hit. Both of her legs felt heavy, and would not respond to her motions to move them. She tried to scream, but only a faint gasp came forth from her mouth. A distinct copper taste was left on her tongue.


Help me.





She started to drag herself towards the narrow entrance to the street. Every small movement sent a pang of pain and hurt through her whole body. Just when she thought she had almost made it to the street, she glanced up. There was still a good five feet until she would make it.


The girl prayed, begged for death, she tried to cry but no tears would come from her eyes. She thought all was lost, so she flattened herself out on the ground, spread eagle, and stared up at the black sky.


Rain drops hit her face, one by one, and she wondered if no one would find her.


She thought she heard footsteps.

 

[Serinkaela]

A spark shot out from his lighter, but no flame. He tried the flint again, with no such luck. Mattias sighs, shrugging to himself as he replaces the slightly damp cigarette in its carton and the lighter in his pocket. He could smoke once he got home, there was no need to do it now. Smoothing his hood over his wayward mop of hair, he sets off down the street from the small bookstore he worked in.


The light from the street lamps flickered and danced along the slick road, a haze gathered above the asphalt as the day's heat warmed the air. There was a general sense of peace as he strolled along the sidewalk, no one was out due to the rain, and the downpour felt like a sort of cleanse for the dirt and grime of the city.


Mattias stops for a bit, at the entrance to an alley, stretching out his back. He was slightly sore from being on his feet all day, but no more than usual. It had been a good day, lots of people had come in to say hello and make a few purchases, nothing exactly-


His thoughts are halted by the sound of shifting behind him. Reflexively, he spins around in a defensive pose, but cannot see much in the darkness. He pulls out his phone, turning it on and around to illuminate the ground and.


Dear lord.





Is that a girl?


Mattias takes a hesitant step forward, looking around for signs of danger. Finding none, he kneels down and checks her pulse. Still there, if a bit faint. He wonders if she's conscious.


Shaking her gently, making sure not to touch anything wounded, he inquires, "Hey, what happened? Who are you?"

 

[Lillian Gray]

"I don't know." She replied weakly. At the touch of his hand, she began to cry out. The wounds covering her body were severe, but even she had no idea where they were hidden on her skin. Whatever he had touched was bruised.


The girl opened her eyes, light gray, they stared up at whoever had found her, despite the state of her beaten body. Wide eyed and afraid, all she could do was stare.


I don't remember anything.


"Help me, please, don't leave me here." Her throat could barely allow her to form the sounds, they were raspy and dry. The girl realized she was incredibly thirsty, and her stomach felt like an empty hole.


She lifted a hand, it felt as if she were dragging bricks along with it. Weakly, she latched on to his arm. "Please." She pleaded.

 

[Serinkaela]

Mattias lets out a shaky breath, pulling back a little so as to not hurt her further. He pushes back his hood and shines the light over her body to get a better look at it. She was covered in blood, and he probably would have felt nauseous if that sort of thing bothered him. He still felt a pang in his chest for her, wondering who could have done something like this.


"Of course I'm not going to leave you here," he soothes, holding the hand curled around his arm gently.


"My name is Mattias Thorne, I work just a little ways away from here. I'm very sorry this happened to you, I'll get you some help," he continues a steady one-sided conversation in the most calming voice he can manage, slowly moving to a position in which he could pick her up with minimal damage.


"I am going to have to move you, which is going to hurt quite a bit. We need to get you to the hospital."

 

[Lillian Gray]

The girl didn't respond, her voice faltered as soon as she attempted to say thanks. Mattias had only just lifted her and she screamed, startlingly loud for the fact she could barely speak.


"My legs, I think they're broken." She croaked. The girl looked over at her feet and her eyes grew wide in horror. Her right leg was bent at the shin in an unnatural angle. A white, searing pain shot into her brain. She quickly jolted into a state of shock.

 

[Serinkaela]

Oh dear.





That was quite loud, and Mattias panicked for a moment thinking he had killed her, though he knew that was more than irrational. He'd had experience with dangerous situations before, and knew that none of her wounds were actually life-threatening as they were now. If she didn't get treatment, however...


There was no time to think about that. He props her up on his knee and gently wraps his jacket around her slight form, then lifts her as carefully as possible.


The hospital was too far away to carry her, but his house was just a block and a half over. He would take her there and then bring her to the hospital with his car. Hopefully she would be alright until then.

 

[Lillian Gray]

The girl clung to his shirt with both hands until her knuckles were bone white under the blood and bruising. Her eyes started forward, still wide eyed from seeing her own legs bent in odd angles.


"Mattias." She said the name, if only to help her remember. "Mattias Thorne." She mouthed his name, this was her first memory. Everything before this moment was black. This moment in time, such a horrible, pain filled moment, was the only thing she knew.


She was too shocked to ask the obvious questions.


Who am I?


Where am I?


Why am I in so much pain?





All she could do was bite her lip to keep her bloodcurdling screams at bay. Every step Mattias took sent another wave of hurt through her bones.


"Mattias."

 

[Serinkaela]

Mattias winces, knowing this must be extremely painful for the small girl.


"Yes, I am Mattias," he murmurs. "And we'll find out who you are as well."


He walks as quickly as he can without jostling her, and arrives at his house in a few minutes. It's old, the paint cracking and the brick a worn rusty brown. His car sits in the driveway, a Toyota he's had for a few years that has served him well. With a little balancing, he gets the door open and lays her down in the back seat with utmost care. The couple blankets he keeps in the trunk are arranged around and over her to minimize discomfort and they are on the road as quickly as he can manage.


The hospital lights pierce through dreariness of the night, a beacon of hope for his frayed nerves as he pulls up to the emergency ward. He carries her in, explains all that he knows, and hopes for the best.

 

[Lillian Gray]

The bright lights dazed the girl, she held tighter to Mattias. He was the first face she had seen in the world, and she wasn't about to abandon his familiarity.


Several people made their way towards the two with a gurney in the middle of the group. The girl was almost digging her nails into Mattias' skin, she didn't know these people. She was scared. Her eyes turned towards Mattias, for any sort of confirmation she would be okay.


She was whisked away on the gurney. A nurse managed to hook something into her arm while walking her down a narrow hall. The girl, despite the pain, whipped her head around. "Mattias?" She asked, not seeing him in her immediate vision. She screeched, frightened and feeling alone, "Mattias!"


Then, it was lights out. Her body went numb, and everything went black.

 

[Serinkaela]

Mattias collapses into a chair in the waiting room. He had heard her scream as they took her away, and had wanted to go comfort her, but knew he couldn't. He would stay here until he could see her again, make sure she was alright.


God.


He didn't know what else to do. This strange girl he'd found, she wasn't his responsibility, so why was he feeling so dedicated? She was in a safe place now, there wasn't anything more that he could do.


Still, he waited. He sat with his head in his hands, shifted to lean back against the wall, went outside for a cigarette to calm his nerves before thinking that he might miss the doctor coming to give him an update.


It was one AM, the rain had let up a little, and Mattias was running on crap hospital coffee and fumes. This was going to be a long night.

 

[Lillian Gray]

Sun just barely crept through the windows of the hospital when a doctor came down the hallway, clipboard in hand. It was around seven in the morning, and the hospital was coming back to life after the night shift had ended.


The doctor took large strides towards Mattias. Mattias was the one who had brought this girl into the ER, and he had a few questions for the man. After coming to a stop in front of Mattias, he rubbed his graying stubble.


"Are you Mattias?" He asked, "I just wanted to ask you some general questions about the girl you brought in."

 

[Serinkaela]

The chair provides little comfort, and Mattias was only able to doze off for about an hour, near four. After that he had kept himself busy reading and playing games on his phone. When the doctor approaches him, he stands expectantly.


"Yes, my name is Mattias Thorne," he says evenly, holding out his hand and shaking the doctor's.


He places his third cup of coffee on a nearby table and gives the man his full attention.


"I'd be more than happy to answer and questions you may have."

 

[Lillian Gray]

The doctor looked down at his clipboard after pulling a pen from his fresh white coat pocket, clicking the end once before scribbling something on the paper. He looked up to address Mattias, "I just want to start with the girl's name, and your relationship to her?"


Before giving a chance for Mattias to respond he nodded at something on the paper, and then looked up one more time. "If happen to know any of her personal information, a phone number, address as well. She gave everyone quite a scare. Both of her legs are broken, she has a sprained wrist, damn near close to a fracture. That, and numerous bruises and cuts."

 

[Serinkaela]

Running his fingers through his hair, Mattias sighs uneasily.


"Quite honestly, Doctor, I have no idea who this girl is," he answers exhaustedly. "I was walking home from work last night around ten when I saw her in an alley. I don't know what happened to her, and when I asked she didn't know who she was either."


He straightens up his shirt, smoothing out the dark blue collar habitually and checking his watch.


"I wasn't going to just leave her there, of course," he continues. "So I brought her to my car and drove her here. Is she going to be okay?"

 

[Lillian Gray]

The man sighed and put his pen back into place, and then casually tucked the clipboard under his arm and sighed. He pressed a hand to his temple and his face contorted in confusion. "Honestly," He started to admit, "It was pretty touch and go from what I heard. She lost a lot of blood, even before she went into surgery this morning."


He removed his hand from his head, and crossed both arms across his chest. After being here most of the night, it was clear he wanted to go home, but a look of curiosity still played at his features. He, too, was wondering about the girl.


"I suppose there's no point in trying to ask you anything else. But, seeing as you're the one who found her, I'm sure she'd want to see you. I'd want to thank someone if they dragged me out of that." He clicked his tongue a few times and shook his head, "She's in 107, the receptionist can point you in the right direction if you need. I don't know if she's awake, but, you can certainly go see her now."


He shook Mattias' hand before heading off towards a door labeled 'Staff Only'. It swung back and forth behind him before finally settling to a close.


No one knew who the girl was.

 

[Serinkaela]

There was nothing. They didn't have a sample of her blood on file, no records, no previous visits to the dentist or checkups. Absolutely nothing. Well, that was disconcerting. Though he still wanted to check on her, see if there was anything else he could do. If she was in stable condition, then he could head home with a clear conscience, right?


Mattias sighs tiredly as he walks over to the reception, and being pointed in the right direction he makes his way over to her room.


He catches a glimpse of himself in a window, wincing at the dark patches under his eyes, making them look more vibrantly green than usual despite the exhausted sheen to them. His hair sticks up more than usual from being soaked last night and messed with for hours, falling over his forehead in mussed locks and nearly defying gravity at the back of his head. What a mess. Everything is too bright right now, he thinks to himself before continuing down the bland hall. He dislikes hospitals, too much sterility and illness mixed together.


105, 106, and finally, 107. He knocks lightly before entering and shutting the door behind him to cut out the noise of general hospital bustle.

 

[Lillian Gray]

The girl was just barely awake. It could hardly be called a conscious state, the way her eyes constantly drooped. Open, then close, open, then close, the constant look as if she were about to fall asleep. Medical bandages were taped to many spots covering her face. Something Mattias hadn't seen in the dark of the alley was the large cut just under her neck. Whoever had done this to her had tried to slash her neck, but aimed too low.


An oxygen mask rested on her face, there was a broken rib that had almost punctured her lung. Luckily, it hadn't, but she was having a hard time breathing.


The whole image was pitiful. Her left arm rested in a sling off to the side. Even through the sheets on the hospital bed, it was clear her legs were covered in large casts. The only part of her body free from any major trauma was her right hand. It was a sickly yellow shade, though, and it was sickening.


She wanted to acknowledge Mattias' entrance, but she couldn't this time. There was no voice in her after fighting through surgery.

 

[Serinkaela]

An uncharacteristic anger rises in Mattias as he sees the full extent of the damage done to her. But he forces it down, pulling a chair up to the side of the bed and sliding into it.


"Hey there, sorry about sending you off like that. But it looks like the doctors have taken good care of you. I know you can't respond, that's okay," he rambles a little before cutting himself off.


"Anyway, you'd probably like to know," he says warily, playing with the corner of one of the hospital sheets. "No one else knows who you are either, there are no files or records or anything. I'm really sorry. I'd ask if there was anything you'd like me to do, but you look to be a bit out of commission at the moment."


He gives her a concerned look, then rubs his face and shakes his head as if trying to clear it.


"I really have to go home and get some sleep," he says reluctantly, not exactly wanting to leave her alone. "But I'll be back later this evening to check on you? If you'd like."

 

[Lillian Gray]

The girl tried to nod her head, it moved a bit. She hoped Mattias would understand.


Gods, thank you for finding me.





She wasn't in any pain any more, morphine being the drug it is. That was one of the drug names she'd heard. Morphine. It pumped through her system and gave her a small high, but she was more thankful that she couldn't tell that her legs were in the wrong place.


With the only uninjured part of her, her right hand, she reached over the bed towards Mattias. There was nothing she could say, her hand hovered in the air before she finally found his shoulder. One squeeze, she put as much effort as she could into letting him know she was grateful. It was all she could do.

 

[Serinkaela]

Mattias smiles down at her, patting her head lightly and covering her hand with his. "Yeah, I'll be back this evening. Maybe bring some books to read and some music. You're safe here, the doctors will take good care of you, so don't worry."


He smiles again, then yawns hugely, covering his mouth in embarrassment. "Sorry about that. I really have to go. See you later."


Tucking the sheets in a little before waving goodbye, he slips out of the door and closes it behind him quietly. As he walks out he asks about visiting hours and decides he'll come back around six, after some well-needed sleep, food, and bathing. The rain had stopped some time the night before, the ground damp under his feet and the air a humid haze making him feel even more tired as dawn's sunlight warms his face.


Mattias slips into his car and makes the journey home with no complications, taking the blankets in to wash the blood out of them, grumbling a little as he sees the stain on the back seat. That will take a while to get out, but he supposes it's not too much of a hardship.


As he walks into the house, he's greeted by loud meowing and pawing at his legs. Of course, his cat hadn't been fed either. He refills the bowl and spoons out some wet-food before feeding himself and taking a short shower. Then, finally, he slinks into bed and immediately falls asleep.

 

[Lillian Gray]

When the girl woke up the next morning, she was relieved to discover her voice was back. She was constantly trying different pitches to see which one felt most familiar with her. Some of the nurses found it entertaining as they walked by her room, to hear a girl varying from a low masculine pitch, to a high feminine one. She finally found her own voice, which to her sounded soft and girlish.


She wasn't allowed as much morphine as before, which she was disappointed about. Overall, her body was still very numb.


"Good morning, I see you've woken up." A female nurse strolled into the room with a small tray in her hands. She helped to set it up in front of the girl so she could eat. There was a small cup of fruit, some wheat toast, and two cups. One contained apple juice, and the other water.


"Yes. Oh, good morning." The girl said awkwardly. In the hour she'd been awake, she hadn't had enough time to readjust to the world. It didn't help that she had no memories. Some fragments slipped through. Little things, such as her favorite color, and the fact that she used to paint, those things slipped through.


Slowly, she ate the food in front of her. She felt full, but knew her stomach was empty. Everything in front of her was soon gone, but she craved more. The nurse informed her she would be on a strict diet, only until she was back to better health.


The girl spent most of the day trying to think of her name. For the life of her, she had no idea. Not even a letter of remembrance.