Other How long do you usually wait for someone during the planning of a roleplay?

[Hootle]

I have seen on some topics how long people wait for partners during established roleplays but I was curious how long you would typically wait for a potential partner during the planning phase? A day? Week? Months?

If someone expressed interest in writing with you on one of your plots, messaged you, then stopped responding, would you inquire whether they were still interested or wait for them to get back to you? If you decided to wait, how would you respond to another person interested in the same plot you are waiting to hear back from that other person on?

Unless the person gave me a heads up and they're someone worth waiting for, I wouldn't wait for a month. Maybe not even a week. I figure most times, hopefully nothing has happened, if they want to see the planning through they will. If someone else wanted to write the same plot, I would probably contact the other person, if enough time has passed, to see if they were still interested but if I did not receive an answer I would just move on.

 

[Meryl_ya]

I have... noticed that I'm a more impatient person than I thought (currently trying to fix that), so it's usually around 2 days to a week (there's also a case of around a month) after the last message on my part. I always check-in (usually a "hey, how have you been?") on my partner just once, and if I haven't gotten any response, I'll assume they're out of the RP (either it's from the loss of interest or RL business). That being said, I don't exactly mind waiting as long as I'm still interested in the plot. And if they message me when I'm not interested anymore, I'll just quickly let them know that I'm no longer interested. Waiting for a reply has become something I rarely think of. So, unless someone provoked it outta me, I won't remember it exists.

I don't have any RPs that are based on one same plot, and most of the time when I reply to someone else's interest check, I'm more interested in my partner's plot. And it's also because I rarely encounter anyone interested in a similar plot/premise (usually just the fandom, but I feel it's... different)

 

[Syntra]

With me, it depends. If the potential partner usually responds like once per 2 to 3 days, then I'd wait a week or two. If they respond multiple times per day and then stop responding without any kind of heads up? I'd probably consider it dropped. I would still take them back if they messaged me after that period, but I wouldn't expect it to happen. I'd only message them with a gentle nudge if I really, really liked what we had going on.

 

[Idea]

It depends on two things:
1. How fast were they responding to begin with?
2. How busy do I expect myself or them to be?

Someone who responded once every couple of days to begin is either a very distracted or a very busy person (even if temporarily). This mean it's reasonable to assume they would take more time. On the other hand, if someone who responded every few hours suddenly vanished for nearly a week that'd be a much greater cause for concern.

If from our conversations I have reason to believe something may have gone wrong or they suddenly got busy or the like, then I'm more likely to be patient. I also avoid as much as possible being a hypocrite, so I try to avoid anything that would seem impatient if I am aware that I myself will have difficulty giving consistent replies in the near future.

As a rule of thumb, the standard would be about a week or so before I start poking (though I may poke a bit earlier just in case of distraction, but I wouldn't ask "are you still interested" that early), and about three weeks to a month before I decide they are gone for good and I have their spot open.

Edit: For me there's also something to consider. I rarely take more than a few partners because I like slow but lengthy posting (and for this reason I do not impose time-based posting requirements on my 1x1 partners), plus I do so many things that nomatter what I always have some alternative, something else to do until a reply comes. So I can really afford to give my partners more leeway.

 

[GojiBean]

Typically I do not invite people during the planning phase. I almost always have the RP fully fleshed out already before I present the idea in an Interest Check and then wait to see who bites.

In most cases I'll wait around 3 days to see if someone expresses interest. If they don't, I abandon the idea and move on to the next (or at least shelve it for later).

In the rare cases I only have a concept and haven't planned out the entire RP already, I usually ask if anyone's interested in the concept first before actually sending an invitation to join. After all, if the RP doesn't exist, there's nothing to join. So asking "are you in?" is a bit presumptuous. Know what I mean?

The same basic rule applies here for me though. Wait around 3 days to see if anyone is interested. If not, abandon/shelf the idea for later and move on to the next.

For me personally there's no sense wasting more than 3 days on a mere concept. No matter how much I like the concept there's no guarantee others will like it to. So I don't take it personally if the idea never gets off the ground. There's always next time.

As for if someone expresses interest and then ghosts, I let them ghost and put them squarely on my "Ignore" list because I don't tolerate that kind of rudeness. The very LEAST someone can do as a courtesy when leaving is to say "Sorry, but I've lost interest." I can respect and appreciate that. But ghosting? No. If they can't be bothered to display some basic courtesy by letting me know they are moving on to other projects then they're out of my life forever, and I'm not sorry to see them go.

In my experience the people who ghost are often very toxic. They'll put on a polite face at first. But their personal issues and lacking self esteem (a very common problem with this group) will, more often than not, lead to unnecessary drama and arguments both IC and OOC. So we're better off without those kinds of people.

Cheers!

 

[FloofWhispers]

For me, A few days before I give em a poke!

 

[Ezina-Kusu]

Shortest I've waited for someone to respond has been a week before I gave up on them. Longest was 8 months... But they actually responded after i waited that long

 

[BlueCandle]

Maybe I'm an outlier, but during the planning stage, I sip on my tea and can wait forever without any stress. If they don't reply, I'm not on their priority list and that's completely fine and valid - they probably figured out they're not interested as much as they thought they would be, and I'm rather happy they drop off then than later. However, that later I speak of... What I have very low tolerance for is when I post a starter (or my partner does, and I reply) and they take 1+ week to reply. Usually, that communicates to me that they're not vibing with my style, which is fair, but I don't like putting in the effort of typing posts for someone who doesn't actually vibe with them. So I'm a bit touchy if we start and there's a long wait in the first stage. However I also find myself super patient later on, when a plot is established and we've established that we vibe... so the more crucial phase, to me, really is the beginning of the RP, not the pre-phase.

 

[Xillia]

 

[Hootle]

However, that later I speak of... What I have very low tolerance for is when I post a starter (or my partner does, and I reply) and they take 1+ week to reply. Usually, that communicates to me that they're not vibing with my style, which is fair, but I don't like putting in the effort of typing posts for someone who doesn't actually vibe with them. So I'm a bit touchy if we start and there's a long wait in the first stage. However I also find myself super patient later on, when a plot is established and we've established that we vibe... so the more crucial phase, to me, really is the beginning of the RP, not the pre-phase.

Yeah, that tells me everything if there's a long wait for a response after I've posted the starter. Anything after I have no problem waiting.

 

[Reid]

planning phase? Not the actual RP itself? oof. Unless I know for sure that I 100% vibe with this person, honestly... I wouldn't wait that long. As someone who has dipped in planning phase before (i know, i know) sometimes an idea sounds interesting and exciting in your head but then as time goes on, you realize that for an RP, it... just doesn't work and slowly the interest diminishes and it's hard to say so, especially early on because it'll feel like you led that person on and thus would make them feel as if it were their fault... Despite if that idea was yours ;_;

 

[Aurealis]

It might be odd to say, but I’ve actually never really been closed off on someone for RP. That is to say, I’m okay with waiting for how long it takes. Ghosting is a pretty common experience, I’ve found, and it’s not something I fixate on.

The one constant to remember is people always change their minds. They might be completely into the plot or idea one day and they may drop it the next. It’s a bit frustrating when you’ve already put in a lot of effort - ie. established the plot and written character sheets. But at the end of the day, it’s the way such a hobby goes when you have plenty of options to choose from and new partners/searches always on the horizon.

I personally give the person two weeks to a month to respond. I end up messaging after two weeks, if I don’t have a response, then, I can be assume that it’s been dropped. In the meantime, I usually pick up a new partner or two while waiting. If my previous partner eventually does return, I’m usually happy to pick up where we left off.