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Fantasy High school for the angelic, and demonic

GoldenCharizard4 said:
(plot twist ensues)
Marth laughed at the death with a female voice he says "great show you young ones! kiri. court will be in session in about a week." marth frowns "karen's death makes me sick. she was a good client a few times at my mansion." i sigh "well my time ends so ta taaa!" marth then falls on his back asleep like a baby, thumb in his mouth and in a partial ball.
(...I understood none of that.)
 
Kiri looked at them curiously. "I think that was Hime again..." He sighed and picked Marth up. "I'll put him in the spare bed with the twins." He carried him upstairs and laid him down gently.
 
"yew dun want me daddy... the voice keeps pointing facts that yew dun like me. nor does mommy really." i say sitting up "even if yew do daddy, i dun think mommy really does." i sniffle as i stroke my tail.
 
"Mummy loves you with all her heart." Kiri said with a smile, picking Marth up. "C'mon. You'll need plenty of energy for when we go to the park tomorrow!" He exclaimed happily.
 
(One flaw in that post Golden. Karen has no idea who Hime is, she never found out in her life. She didn't even know Marth.)


Kyra curled up on the ground in front of Karen's dead body. "How could she do this...?" She whispered, her voice wracked with agony.


Ai knelt beside Kyra and put her hand on her shoulder reassuringly. "It's okay Kyra." She said soothingly.
 
(Yes we all know that! But Karen is Kyra's sister, making her Marth's adopted aunt! But Karen never knew about Marth!)
 
(You said 'she was a good client in my mansion a couple of times.' The hell does that mean? Karen has never met Marth, which means she's never met Hime. I'm so confused!!!)
 
Kiri smiled at Marth. "Take this." He passed him a spoon with chocolate frosting but inside it was a small tablet of circadian.
 
(cause marth was never around when karen was at the mansion. hime just saw karen and said hello how are you today and was gone. karen stopped at the mansion to get a book, drink some coffee and go. unless hime was just confused by the name karen xD )


Marth sniffed the chocolate. "i'm a kitty daddy... i dun think i can eat chocolate. can i?" i ask him curiously.
 
(What mansion are we talking about? Cuz Karen's husband owned a mansion in which she lived in, or are we talking about Hime's mansion. If so, Karen has never been in Hime's mansion. If we're talking about Karen's mansion, neither Marth or Hime have been there.)


Kyra closed her eyes and leaned back against the couch, although she was still on the floor. "I'm sorry Karen." She whispered, the tears starting to stop.


Ai sighed and sat next to Kyra, feeling really sorry for her.
 
Kyra lifted herself up onto the couch and laid down. She stared at the back of the sofa, unable to think of anything but her sister. Kyra closed her eyes and fell asleep after a few seconds of laying there.


Ai went over to the children's room, where Marth was, and where Athena and Kira and retreated to. The twins were sitting on the floor playing with dolls. "Hey there guys." Ai said, kneeling beside Kira and Athena, but also smiling at Marth.
 

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