neverbackdown
To live would be an awfully big adventure
TW: Mentions of mental health and alludes to depression and anxiety
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filler! ignore
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filler! ignore
Emily Thomas
The Girl Next Door
mood
"FUCK IT ALL ... FUCK IT ALL *sang to the tune of frozen
location
School
tags
Mentions;- Ava/ Jack/ Luka doedeer - Laury Sugarnaut - Billy purplecowdutch
Interactions;- Calli TheVoidQueen
It's funny how quickly things can change.
On Friday night Emily was in a relationship, her hair was blonde and she was happy... well now that she looked back she had to wonder was she actually happy back then or was she stuck in that relationship, stuck in her ways and stuck under his temper and control. She had a feeling it was the latter but that still didn't make the whole situation any easier.
Trying to deal with a breakup while coming down from molly wasn't something that Emily would recommend to her worst enemy. She was glad that she had stayed with Ava after the party, able to comfort each other and laugh together as they both did their best to ignore their inner turmoil.
They did talk about it, both sharing their own woes from the night but neither were prepared to actually deal with the fall out, with the real pain of allowing the heartbreak and shame and anger in to fester in their mind especially not when their serotonin levels were so dangerously low and so they distracted themselves, they ruined Ava's kitchen trying to make a pizza, they dyed Emily's hair and they watched feel good movies until it was eventually time for Emily to go home.
It was when they seperated that the feelings got worse, clinging its dark fingers into her psyche infecting her mind and heart, the familiar feeling of her depression taking hold of her once more but she was too tired to fight it, too tired to care.
***************
Monday ....
Standing in front of the school's bathroom mirror, Emily bit her lip as she took in her new look. She felt almost unrecognizable with her black hair and darker clothes and to be honest with herself she didn't know if this was to get back at Billy, a scream for help or to just simply make a change to herself.
Start anew as they say .... Bullshit
The looks had not gone unnoticed as Emily walked the halls towards the exit, obviously everyone had heard by now what had happened at Lukes party and if not well she was sure the chirpy blonde girl now being the poster child for a troubled teen made a big enough impression to be noticable
As Emily approached the table her and her friends normally sat she felt her stomach drop and her chest tighten. Stopping quickly in her step, Emily ran a hand down her face as she willed her heart to beat at a more normal pace. Normally her friends were her safe space, the place where Emily could always be herself and be comfortable but for some reason the thought of seeing them right now and trying to explain everything that had happened terrified her as she imagined their disappointment in her. After all isn't that what Billy always told her, that she just got in the way. For some reason Emily couldn't get Billy's words out of her head as they swirled around, scratching her brain.
"They talk shit about you"... "terrible friends"...
Wrapping a strand of hair around her finger, Emily's eyes diverted to the darkness of it. Again, it was something her friends were yet to see only Ava knew about the new hair having done it for her on Saturday and while Emily knew that her friends would only have love and maybe some worry for her current state, she just couldn't get rid of the feeling that just like with Billy, Emily was a burden.
Turning around back towards the school Emily decided to go and find a quiet place to eat her lunch somewhere hidden that she couldn't be seen or noticed. Lost in her own thoughts she hadn't noticed the person walking towards her until it was too late and they collided.
"Oh I am so sorry, its ...." trailing off as Emily looked at the person in front of her she couldn't help the smile that played on her lips "Calli" she said happily "Oh i am sorry, are you ok?"
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