Forever and Ever? {1x1 stromhawk&smallz}

[TheShyGirl]

Felix nodded slowly and set the phone back down in it's place. "Hey...I'm begining to think that your co-workers view as something lower than your love interest. Apparently to your boss I'm just a roommate..." He called back suspiciously over his shoulder. He didn't dare turn around though. Simply leaned back against the wall with his arms crossed stubbornly infront of his chest.

 

[Smallz]

"Oh....yeah...about that,"Gable said as he took a sip of his coffee. How did he explain to Felix that he couldn't be open about who he was at his place of work? That in order to keep moving up nobody could know that he was gay. "You see...they don't even know that...well they don't know I'm gay,"Gable said pulling his eyes away from Felix. He knew this was gonna be bad. That it was going to start a fight he'd rather not get in. But, what was he to do about it. It was already brought up. It had to be talked about...

 

[TheShyGirl]

Felix stared down at the floor, remaining silent for about a minute or two. "Do you find it...embarrassing? Do you find me embarrassing?" He was clearly taking this the wrong way but even so, his eyes were already getting watery.

 

[Smallz]

"It's not that! Do you know what my co-workers would say if I was gay?"Gable said. Well. Actually he wasn't even sure if they would care. But nothing would get in the way of his career. Not even Felix. If he had to keep his sexuality secret from the world he was okay with that. As long as he ended up on top. "I need them to think I'm normal. Being gay isn't normal,"Gable said shaking his head. "Not all of us can be you okay? You just...are suppose to be gay...or something...You just look like it. I don't. I look like I should be fucking a girl every night!"Gable said he was almost shouting at this point.

 

[TheShyGirl]

Felix's jaw dropped at his words, a single tear rolled down his cheek as he closed his mouth back up again. "What did you mean I'm 'supposed' to be gay? Looks don't have anything to do with it! And don't you dare say that it's unnormal; it sounds as if you're describing me as some sort of alien." He took a steps toward Gable, his little hands forming into fists as if he were about to punch something.

 

[Smallz]

"You don't get it. I'm in business. Being gay is weird when you're in business! It doesn't matter if you're gay. Nobody cares. Everyone cares if I'm gay because it's not 'normal'. It's just...ugh...I wish I had the luxury of being able to shout to the world who I am. But I don't! If I tell people I'm gay I might not get a promotion because of it. And with you not having a job I need that money,"Gable said with a loud sigh. He was about to just give up on this all. He was just digging himself an even deeper hole by talking more. He wanted things to be okay between them but things kept being thrown in their way.

 

[TheShyGirl]

"Lot's of people in this world are like that. You're not the only person who has to deal with this. Why would they care about something as little as your sexuality? It's not that huge of a deal." Felix took his turn to sigh as well. His voice had lowered down but wasn't quite as quiet or calm as his normal speaking tone. "I can always get another job. You don't have to worry about me!"

 

[Smallz]

"I just wish I wasn't gay okay! I wish I could be in a normal relationship...."The last part he mumbled barely audible. Gable had never been one to hate his sexuality. Not really. He was always open about it and never let anyone make him feel bad about it. Till now. Maybe it was his work environment he had been around. Or maybe it was because he was in the 'real world now'. He just wasn't really sure but all the sudden his sexuality had started to bother him.

 

[TheShyGirl]

Without saying a word, Felix stepped forward a few more steps so he was just close enough to shove Gable away; since he wasn't very strong it didn't do very much effect --only sending him stumbling back a couple feet but not falling-- still it would have been shocking. "And why are you only telling me this now?! I mean...we've been together for all these years and not once have I heard you say anything like that!" He quickly used his shirt sleeve to wipe away the tears that were desperately wetting his face.

 

[Smallz]

He let out an irritated guff when he was shoved by Felix. He got his balance back and closed the gap between the two of them. "I've never felt like this before!"he shouted at Felix. "I've never felt like being gay was bad untilnow....until everyone else I work with is in their normal straight relationships."Gable added after a moment. Was it his own insecurity that was destroying them? Was he causing this hardship between them? He wanted everything to be okay between them. He really did. But it felt like it wouldn't be. He felt like if he was straight and with a women this wouldn't have been an issue.

 

[TheShyGirl]

"I thought you cared about me, not just yourself and what others around you think! Do you really think they'll care? It's not like its some weird disease...and you don't have to yell at me." Felix was backing away, not even wanting to stand close to him. He took a deep breath before asking with narrowed eyes, "Would it make you happy if I just left? Right now. Would that satisfy your pain, you dumb@ss?!"

 

[Smallz]

"I love you Felix! I love you and I don't want you to leave...I just wish you would understand where I'm coming from. I feel like you don't get it. I just...ugh. I can't even explain to you what I'm feeling!"Gable said turning away from the other man and burying his head into his hand into frustration. He let out a stifled scream feeling so unbelievably angry at just everything and everyone.

 

[TheShyGirl]

Felix returned to his side, slowly placing a hand up on his shoulder as he approached. He hesistanted to step away once again when Gable let out a sort of upset yell. "I don't understand at all...I'm not all high and mighty like you. I don't have to wear a fancy suit everyday for work.......I'm sorry." He wondered if they both just misunderstood eachother about this whole situation. This fights have been occurring constantly and had become a major all too long ago. It was a bit of a pain.