Fantasy Fading Flames 2: Bandits

[Kabboom]

CHAPTER 1 MISSION: ROCK AND ROLL

​

Off to the West of Stately Keep lies the iconic road that brought the first settlers here - the Pilgrim's Trail, whose foundations were laid by the ancient elves of Foisten Brek. Its nature echoes that of the Empire: old, symbolic, and frequently raided. In Seedingstate's early days, the Pilgrim's Trail was a frequent hotspot for bandit activity, with the nearby Highpine Ridge serving as a favorable spot for people who didn't like to be found. The competition was rather literally cutthroat, however, and the bandits were at odds with each other as much as they raided caravans and carts along the road - by the time the Imperial Legions got here, the only bandits left were the ones that stayed out of the infighting, and then they got wiped out too. After that, there wasn't much left of the native Seedingstate bandit - luckily, immigration works for criminals as well. After the stabilization of the region, the King's Council see no further need to retain its attention and--

Bah, who cares about that? We're about to get to the good part! Where's the stabbing?

The bandits harassing our brave heroes this time are located in Highpine Ridge. After three days of premeditated staring from afar, and scratching asses in patience, the team sent forth by Alorias had gathered valuable information, mostly from a dumb bandit who went for a piss on the second day and never got to return to guard duty. From this trustworthy informant (who was a new guy in the bandit force), they have mapped the lay of the land, of the place where fire meets tempered steel, and where blood will boil - only one question remains: whose blood?

​

Preparation is a harsh but necessary mistress on the catwalk to victory. Keikling had 4 smoke grenades left over from his caravaning days, and he had no intention to save it for something else - they were getting quite old already, and with two mages on the team, they can surely craft more for a dime a dozen. The two star-crossed bone-crunching lovers Thrud and Brzdcsadcghjadgsjsgfsasdcsdahkgfskewicz were steadfast as always - their expertise with killing monsters was legendary, but the monsters that walk on two legs and think sliced bread is cool? Perhaps this will be a valuable learning experience for the couple. Otrygg's geofeht was interesting so far, with him taking a few side-gigs here and there during the scouting, but unfortunately his journey to flyte a beatboxing gang of women had to be cut short by this much more important mission. Kan the Guardian, his mind warped beyond comprehension, still remembers the way of the blade.

They had prepared extensively: the gunpowder that they'd managed to scrounge up wasn't exactly much, but it was enough: enough to blow a path across the part with traps, with some left over to blow up the armory - alternatively, they could reserve it all and blow the front door clean off once they reach it. Shields were definitely high on the list, and Kan had preemptively gotten a big heavy shield he'd spent the last 2 days practicing with.

The preparations were all there, for the most part. The plan was simple: smoke off the gun positions on the approach, breach the door, destroy everything inside. They didn't have to clear out all the bandits - Alastor's information revealed that the objective of the mission was not to destroy the bandit threat, but to deny them the equipment they have in this cave. All of the other entrances have been mapped by Alorias, and are revealed to be absolute-emergency exits, barely big enough for a man without armor to weasel his way out - no cultist weaponry is coming out of there. All's said and done, but now it's time to rock the earth, and roll these bandits over.

Soviet Panda RandomBlobMan Epiphany Birdsie (any NPCs we agree on recruiting will show up later, prior to battle begin)

 

[RandomBlobMan]

Kan felt the weight of the shield in his arms. It was something he managed to get himself used to a little during the two days of training. It was hopefully sturdy enough to block anything that came his way. ‘Man, it would’ve been awesome if you could hold the sword in hand and the shield in another.’ Ginfri commented as Kan lifted the shield from the ground momentarily. The plan was simple. Charge forward, blow up the door, and charge in again to clear the place up. ‘Have confidence. And keep your mind clear.’ Aldka whispered. Kan shrugged.
“...like that would work.”
The man answered. ‘Only if you decide to.’ Aldka said back. The guardian glanced at his colleagues preparing for the assault. Though it hadn’t been long after they met, it was time to depend their lives on each other. What a day. ‘Hey, when’s the last time we had a nice conversation with bandits?’ Ginfri asked. Kan rummaged through his rudty memories. In their career bandits were mostly left for the Guardsmen to deal with.
“..not much.”
‘Eh. Didn’t expect a very recent run in. We usually chase weirdos like cultists in robes that see way too long and makes them fall down as they run.’ Ginfri answered. Kan looked off to the cave. It was quite silent... up to now. They’d soon run in, and ravage whatever those cultists requires for their darkborn related activity.
“...and by the sword we shall cleanse, for a righteous reason and a righteous cause.”
The man murmured prayers of battle to himself.

 

[Soviet Panda]

Otrygg grumbled sweet nothings as he made his way to the groups gathering spot. Those women, their constant chatter had begun to grind him down, and though they tried to use the proper word and challenge him to a flytting, the word they used was something else. Something he doubted very much anyone would like for him to do to them. Why had he decided to take on that quest? He wasn't one for fighting with words unless he could grab them with both hands and use them as blunt weapons. "I got yer words right here and the edge of my shield" he growled as he brandished the metal rim of his shield at the invisible foe.

By the time he reached the location, he discovered he was one of the first there. The only one that had managed to beat him was Kan, awkwardly holding his shield. "Arm all the way in. Grab the handle, strap yourself in, gets a lot easier." Holding out his shield arm to show what he had meant, his left hand was wrapped securely around a leather wrapped, wooden handle with two leather straps tightened down on his forearm, one close to his elbow and the other midway down the forearm. "Make sure the blood's still flowing, don't want to get hit with a dead arm. The tingles hurt real good."

 

[Kabboom]

Keikling

The Giant Farongar spurred from his quiet moment of meditation, the sound of shield practice catching his ears. Funny, he never considered using a shield of any sort, but maybe that's for the best - the damn thing would be too unwieldy if it covered most of his body, and too useless if it was small enough to be maneuverable. He'd also never needed it, on account of his thick Giant skin being able to absorb damage from even war crossbows - they did hurt a lot though, so maybe a buckler of sorts would be a wise choice.... Angular, rectangular-shaped buckler to protect his hand as he draws a spear on his bow... tempting. Farongar might make use of his employment here, and try and get such a buckler made after all this is over. For now, his mind lies in the fight.

Fighting bandits was his expertise, after all. It wasn't by choice, but by sheer abundance of experience - being recruited for a pilgrim caravan did wonders for his combat prowess, and his situational awareness. Among this team, he was probably the only choice, being saddled with monster-killing experts. Keikling wonders if they ever killed any Giants.

The bandits they are about to attack seem to be the Opportunistic Ransomer type: they like to stay along a stable route of high profile commerce or travel, and strike the ones that look important. They won't strike every important-looking target, but when they do, they go for the top dog and try to make as much of the haul as they can. Likely, they'll aim to force a surrender through brutal means, like killing guards or mutilating guards or killing and then mutilating guards (bad business for guards all around) and then try to ransom an even bigger reward - if they get ransom, then they'll keep their word and release prey, resolve things amicably to avoid Guardsman Legion intervention.

Their hideout is thoroughly scouted and prepared for, though the cannon still worries the Giant. That'll really put a dent in him if it gets a shot off, which is why he hopes the smoke grenades haven't expired or gone defective or something. If they have, or if the traps have been moved, replaced, or upgraded, then the fight might change for the worse. Improvise, adapt, overcome - that's the name of the game from here. But if everything goes to plan, then things should be alright: charge, kill, take the cannon and secure the interior. Then blow everything up.

Sounds like a plan. "Let's go." Farongar murmured to the entire group, interrupting their banter. He moved forward to take up positions for the attack.

GM

This forest sucks, in Gram's opinion. Less than a month ago, he was still scrubbing horseshit off of the pavements in Stately Keep, but at least the smell was something he could've gotten used to - right now, the damp air on this stupid Highpine Ridge is killing his nose. The rock he's sitting on pokes his ass in a weird way, but if he moves to the more comfortable log to his right, then his knees will start acting up after like 5 minutes, and if he just stands, then the oversized gambeson he's wearing will chafe against his back, which would've been fine if his week-old rash wasn't right where the chafing is. They'd gone an entire week without a hit, and the big angry boss is impatient - hell, everybody's impatient with the dwindling rewards and meager daily supplies. Munching on hardtack and cicadas while watching Guardian-protected wagons stride across the trail was really getting on Gram's nerves.

He joined this bandit group, the Band of the Rock, the day after he got kicked from the tavern for the eighth time. He'd ran flush out of money, and his rent was pushing him, and the whole horseshit-duty thing wasn't making enough money to sustain life in the city. Long story short, he ended up here through a connection he'd made in the slums - a connection that paid off during his first few days in the Band, but today was gonna be one of the shit days - hunt for food and maintain the weapons. He was providing lookout for the two other schmucks with him to cut down excess shrubbery near the cave entrance, which allowed him to fantasize about hitting a convoy full of royal damsels, and the amount of ransom it'll bring.

Suddenly, a spear, flying at a breakneck speed, slammed into his torso. The projectile was flung almost to its breaking point, as if shot from a giant bow or something, and pierced through his gambeson by sheer force alone - the sharpness of the speartip added insult to injury by puncturing the gambeson on his back, nailing him to the cliff face that houses the cave. As his mind immediately went into shock, his eyes flutter with spots of bright and black alike. Gram's ears heard a muffled screaming somewhere that sounded like his teammates, and his failing eyes caught a glimpse of another guy taking another flung spear to his neck, nearly severing his head from the body with such ungodly force. The entire bandit camp was soon alerted, and they mustered for war soon after.

After that, Gram the Horseshit Bandit couldn't feel anything. For he had fucking died.

Keikling

Those two spears were a bit off-target from where he aimed them, but does it matter if it still got the target? Probably not. The assault had started, and to his knowledge, the position he had taken was still not compromised. Leaning comfortably against a typical big pine tree of Highpine Ridge, only the Giant's eye and his bow were visible, as he uncomfortably tucked his drawing arm's elbow into his chest, as he lined up a third spear against a bandit running back into the cave entrance. Letting the spear loose, and subsequently connect with the running bandit's left leg, Farongar mentally bemoaned his rusty accuracy. He'd hopefully calibrate as the fight goes on.

"Alright, go, go, go!" He barked to the rest of the team. With any luck, their charge will be unimpeded.

Soviet Panda RandomBlobMan Epiphany Birdsie (I took the liberty of starting combat, discuss any details you want to know in dc)

 

[Soviet Panda]

Otrygg grunted in agreement at the words of the giant and followed after. It wasn't a long walk, not really, and when they got there it appeared they would get the drop on the bandits. Something the giant put to good use, as he impaled two poor victims and severed the leg of a third, with that massive bow of his. Otrygg did not have to be told that the battle had begun, for he could quite clearly see it in front of him.

Unleashing a roar, Otrygg tore across the clearing, bee lining for the closest bandit in sight. When he halved the distance, he raised his shield in front of him, covering all but his legs, and in a matter of moments he slammed into the bandit. The momentum Otrygg had carried the bandit with the Sarminian raider, but it was Otrygg's strength that kept the bandit on his shield. Now completely blind, with his shield and a bandit in the way, the only reason Otrygg would stop would be when he hit a wall. A wall he did not see was fast approaching.

 

[RandomBlobMan]

Kan adjusted his grip of the shield according to Otrygg's advice. His grip on the tool felt much better. "Man, you should consider using a shield instead of the torch. Oh, I know. Flame thrower shield!" Ginfri exclaimed excitedly as Kan checked his grip for one last time.

The giant archer dispatched a handful of unlucky bandits that were standing guard outside of their base. Those spears ripped through the bastards like paper, much like Kan's expectations. The man tightened his grip on the shield and, as Keikling barked for them to charge, started his charge. He just had to make it to the door protecting the explosive and his allies.
"Onward, warriors!"
The man beckoned.

 

[Birdsie]

Thrud Syndottir

As expected, the camp was awkwardly made. There were bushes and rocks to take cover behind, with trap positions designed... reasonably smartly; with the natural cover meant to funnel in attackers into the traps, but the gun positions wouldn't help much if they charged quickly enough - they were positioned with several reasonable blindspots, not that Thrud was eager to test them.

She was eager to test the density of the enemy's skulls.

Which she'd had to, given the bandits were alerted to their presence by the deaths of their comrades. That was some beautiful archery.

Thrud dashed forward through the thin shrubbery and grass, letting her larger battle-companion Otrygg take the lion's share of the heat and attention. Her axe was lowered and shield upraised to protect her helmeted head. She also wasn't stupid enough to allow the shield to fully blind her sight, so she knew when she was about to step into range of a bandit, and what his exact combat poise was: he was getting ready to crawl away with his injured leg, rather than strike.

Thrud smiled, as she dropped her shield and used the motion to add force to the cleaving axe attack that bit into his barely armored neck with enough force to shatter his spine, almost sever his head, and make him drop to the earth like a ragdoll with its strings cut. The sadistic gratification from slaying an enemy went through her like a dose of DXM delivered directly to the hypothalamus.

She lowered her position while maintaining the charge, on watch for archers or ranged attackers, while preparing to charge any other enemy in sight. She did not pay much heed to the fact that Otrygg was about to bash someone up into a wall: that looked like just about the right battle tactic for the giant war-machine of a fellow he was.

Epiphany Soviet Panda RandomBlobMan Epiphany Kabboom

 

[Kabboom]

GM

The bandits were unsurprisingly dazed by this brazen assault. How could these... weird, smelly raiders dare attack the Band of the Rock, who are also weird and smelly? The low-level bandits were outside of the cave complex, foraging for food and also checking up on the traps - at least that's what they were doing before the audacious attack of the adventurers. Their equipment, equivalent to that of a civilian man-at-arms, were wholly inadequate for the shitstorm headed their way - after all, the first guy to go down wore the group's best suit of gambeson, and two of the guys checking for wild mice in the bushes have already been snagged by the adventurers. Broken in will, the ten (now reduced to eight) bandits outside the cave complex screamed out alerts and ran for the hills back into the cave door.

The deadly huntress Thrud had already serviced one guy with her trusty axe, leaving the bandit quite fucking dead. Her company was soon noted, however, and as the reinforced plank door across the cave creaked open slightly to allow more bandits to get outside and bring the hurt, the Syndottir daughter would soon find herself under pressure. Two bandits close-range peeked out from the bushes where they were foraging, with weapons in arms - on top of the hill, a bandit with a stolen musket took aim down at her. The first bandit up-close wore a makeshift chainmail coif, with a stolen Imperial cavalryman helm and worn plate armor to protect him, and took a swing with his axe, moving in tandem with his round shield. The second bandit was not far off with nothing but a roundel dagger he'd unsheathed from his hip scabbard.

Over yonder, Otrygg met with a more direct fate. The wall he'd intended to slam in did come, but not in the form of a wall - no, it was a tree that was only vaguely wall-shaped, considering its size. His momentum was halted in a near instant, crushing the bandit's weakly-protected intestines and ribcage, as he exhaled in the unique way that people with crushed lungs exhaled. As the almost-lifeless bandit slumped down the face of the shield, his leg let loose and stomped on the tripwire of a trap, which let out a small explosion at the base of the tree and flinging a few dozen purposefully-sharpened splinters out of a convenient bush and into Otrygg's shins. The explosion itself was mostly blocked by the bandit's fallen corpse, rendering him fully-lifeless, but a few bits managed to dig into Otrygg's lower legs, even through the armor he wore.

Kan stumbled upon a bandit on his charge - further up the hill on his path, a bandit unsheathes his sword on instinct, though his bandaged head was in shock. His shoulder plates quaking, the bandit charged downward at Kan, intent on running him through somehow.

Keikling

Reaction time is impeccable for the bandits. Usually it takes the bandits longer to respond to outside commotion, especially since this is daytime and they'd usually be asleep. A fast response like this could only mean that the adventurers interrupted something important going on in the cave - Keikling liked that hypothesis. His comrades seemed more than capable of fucking bandits up: Keikling spent precious time directing his eyes to where the woman named Thrud nearly decapitated a bandit on her charge, his focus directed away from Otrygg's unfortunate mishap. As he refocused, the Giant discovered he'd subconsciously reached for another spear already - something not immediately needed.

His bow hand grabbing hold of the spear temporarily, Keikling broke concealment from the trees and shuffled forward, hand reaching for his smoke grenades tucked in his belt. The modified rope loop around the grenade pins made it infinitely easier for his beefy fingers to find their grasp and pull them off. Aiming with his eyes and coordinating with his feet, the Giant found his mark and hurled the first one towards the gun hole on the left (Gun Position 1), before immediately reaching for his second grenade. The thrown smoke grenade left a thin trail of grey smoke across its entire arc, as the thing fizzed and popped like muffled bacon on a hot pan, before landing near the position and bursting with a thick cloud of fog on impact. Before Keikling could throw the second one, however, he saw the slightest of glints from the remaining gun hole - without hesitation, he hurled himself off his feet and dove for the earth.

A Light-cannon shell found itself hurtling down the hill and blowing up a menacing pile of dirt where Keikling once stood, tossing dirt and stone up in the air and into the green canopy above. Keikling got up on his one knee, and finished the throw in the midst of a coughing fit, since the smoke grenade popped prematurely from the rough impact. Not a problem, however, as the smoke contained in the cylindrical grenade was still abundant enough to conceal the second gun position with a thick fog. Good thing Keikling dove to the right - if he had dived left, the shell would still have clipped his leg, and he really liked his legs.

Moving out of his own little puff of smoke, Keikling took his spear that he'd holstered earlier, and loosed it in the direction of the enemy, nailing a newcomer bandit to the reinforced plank door with a spear to his belly. It was time to move forward.

Soviet Panda RandomBlobMan Epiphany Birdsie

 

[Soviet Panda]

After the satisfying crunch of a broken rib cage, Otrygg dropped the body and was met with the unpleasant noise of an explosion followed by a stinging sensation in his shins. Taking cover behind the tree, he looks down and sees the sharpened and now bloodied bits of wood securely lodged in his shins. Bellowing in pain, he breaks off the tips (as one would do with the shaft of an arrow) so they would not be in the way as much as they were right now. "Eower blod wil besmitenes min aex ond ametan min bord!"* he shouted from behind said tree. The probably didn't understand a word he had just said, but simply hearing a large man yelling at you usually freaks you out a bit.

Rounding the tree, he sees both of the murder holes had been covered with smoke. And so, he continued his charge towards the bandit door, though hobbling slightly due to the splinters in his leg.

*"Your blood will stain my axe and paint my shield"

 

[RandomBlobMan]

Kan peeked over from his shield, seeing a bandit charging toward him with a sword. He didn’t seem too big. “Can you get him?” Ginfri said in a mildly taunting voice. Aldka took a more calmer approach. “Kan, you should pull out your sword-“ But Kan acting was faster. As the two closed in, Kan accelerated, slamming onto the bandit with the weight of his massive shield and his massive self. If it didn’t kill the poor guy it would at least crush his ribs and a bit more of his bones.
“Your fate is at its end.”
The madman muttered as he continued his charge. Wether the bandit was unconscious or not(though it’d be more painful to be conscious) didn’t matter. Kan ran straight up to the wooden gate and rammed the sucker against the solid structure.

 

[Birdsie]

Thrud Syndottir

"HAHAHAHAHA!" laughed the maniacal, lesbian, blood-frenzied Nord woman.

There was nothing. Not the walls, nor the rocks. Not the gods, nor the spirits. None in the encompassing, enshrouded totality of existence - faith, skill, or iron - that could stand between Thrud and her bloodthirst. The foolish bandits - may the Gods Above have absolute and loving mercy upon their wilted souls - were about to experience, at last, the rage of a true warrior.

Taken over by an overwhelming rage - and yet an orgasm of pleasure, coming in smooth, velvety waves, yet accentuated by every drawing of blood like a sharp knife going into Thrud's hypothalamus to inject her with a dose of DXM that could rival the dwarf god's own tears - Thrud unlooped her buckler shield from her wrist and tossed it at impossible, inhuman speed; one that could rival the very fabric of oxygen movement to cross the speed of sound in a feat that would shake the hearts of mortal men for years to come. The shield impacted the head of the musket-wielding fool with an audible crack that drove his skull into a thousand lamenting fragments, each one itself divided into a dozen of pieces and bleeding bits that filled the air with a sweet-sickly mist of pink blood; that continued to freckle his comrade's shocked face.

Thrud laughed once again. A maniac's laugh. The juxtapositioned vivacious celebration of a complete psychopath about to burn down her ex's house.

The nordic madwoman moved forward like a beast; not a man, nor a proper woman, but a beast. She hunched over; a werewolf's pose; running forward at the speed of a raging chariot that rammed into the second bandit with the unspeakable Fury.

The Fury. It alone was the manifold precipice upon which Thrud's mind stood still in obedience.

The Fury was an unspeakable thing. Wrought from the silver heart of heaven's false promise, laced with vessels that pulsed with angel's menstrual blood, hewn from the horns of Satan's generals, it laughed as it was set loose, a laugh that only Thrud could hear, but no one could share.

Her suddenly clawed fist tore through the bandit's throat in satanic anger. The poor idiot stood, gasping, before another clawed hand drove itself into his stomach, spreading blood over the ground beneath in a quickly expanding pool of black-red liquid. Thrud laughed, blossoming as she bit into the bandit's neck with her jaws and drove sharpened, flesh-seeking teeth into his body.

Blood was drawn; blood was drunk. In seconds, a geyser of the liquid shot into both the bandit's chest, and her own, bestowing them with a beet-red coloration, before Thrud too, tossed aside the bandit's limp, dying yet unknowing body, and rushed forth to have another lamb in the cosmic slaughter.

None shall survive.

Epiphany Soviet Panda RandomBlobMan Epiphany Kabboom

 

[Kabboom]

GM

Things had gone shit-shaped for the regular bandits. For one, the door was being blocked by an angry traumatized Guardian. Kan slamming into the big wooden reinforced door with his powerful bulk and unconscious bandit was just enough to push the door back in, squishing a bandit's arm painfully. Two bandits, one armed with a warhammer and the other with a rondel dagger, moved in to intercept the warrior quickly. Immediately clocking Kan right in the face with the hefty iron-head warhammer, the first bandit paved the way for the dagger-guy to tackle Kan to the ground - a task that took the bandit all of his might. The second guy then rolled out of the way with tired breath, and the warhammer guy moved closer, intent on delivering a few more blows to Kan's cranium until he stops moving.

The smoked-off cannon holes were still adequately smoked; there wasn't much wind in the area anyways. The cannon, of course, fired anyway, because cannons don't care about lack of line of sight - well, this one doesn't, anyway. The crew's familiarity with the surroundings helped them a bit, but it was still a blind shot: leaving twirly curls in the smoke in its trajectory, the Light-shell flew straight and true, right into the tree on Thrud's right. Splinters and shrapnel, propelled by the magic-infused explosion bound within the shell, rained down upon the ground as the tree was cut in half at the point of impact. The bodies that the Syndottir girl had slain recoiled in place as their corpses were desecrated with splinters. Another living bandit in front of her was nearly knocked out by shrapnel plinking against his helmet, but soon regained his footing to run back to the doors. Syndottir now lies on the ground, down but not out of the fight: the proximity of the blast meant that shockwaves reverberated through her body - the splinters and shrapnel were just a nuisance compared to the sickening feeling that gave her.

Keikling

Running barefoot in the woods was hard! Even with big feet, the Giant-archer felt every jagged rock and branch beneath his steps as he went forward. The battle had debatably swung in their favor - the human-sized warriors that came with him fought well enough on their own, but beating part-time bandits isn't something to brag about. Kan was in trouble with the bandits at the door (who knew he could run that fast?), and while Otrygg can make it there, Keikling doubts he could be fast enough with his injured shins. Grabbing hold of himself, Farongar raised his bow up, reached for another spear and took aim at warhammer-bandit.

His aim was thrown off when a Light-shell popped near Thrud. Running towards her without a second's notice, the Giant found a more pressing matter to attend to: the treetop was coming down on her. With great bounding leaps in place of his running steps, the Giant crashed against the ground just in time to bear the leafy log on his shoulders - an act that hurt him more than he thought it would. With a great snap, the parts not immediately supported by Keikling snapped off and crashed down into the ground, near where Thrud was. Rolling the log off of his shoulders safely, Keikling stood up and grabbed his bow off the ground. "Get up! You good?" He nudged the girl, as he took aim again.

Soviet Panda RandomBlobMan Epiphany Birdsie

 

[RandomBlobMan]

The scent of battle slowly crept into the guardian’s nose. He felt a slight feeling of his head clearing.
Kan immediately unstrapped the shield off of himself as he crashed onto the door. The only thing holding the defensive tool on his arm was the grip on his hand now. He made it, the shield wasn’t much of use now. The unconscious bandit fell to the ground helplessly as Kan backed off a bit. The madman turned to see the teo bandits heading for him. One with a hammer and another with a knife.
“You have no fear.”
Kan felt an impact on his face. A warm stream of liquid left his nose. Yep, he was bleeding from his nose.
“But you should’ve tried a different approach.”
It was quite a word to say for someone who got smashed in the face. The shield fell off his arm as Kan fell to the floor.
The dagger man managed to tackle him, knocking the two to the ground. Then the bandit attempted to roll away, and failed as a strong tug held him. Then, the next moment, he was lifted from the ground.
One hand on the man’s arm, another reaching for his back, Kan got to his knee and foot rather quickly. He was giving the poor bandit a lift by his knife holding arm, his teeth sinking into the fellow’s neck. His eyes were already eyeing the man with the hammer. The bandit managed to muster up the courage to approach the man biting madman.
Something brave to do in greatsword range.
Kan’s free arm reached for his sword swiftly like a predator bearing its fangs. As soon as his hand touched the sword, it bursted into white flames. The bandit charged forward in hopes of hitting faster. Kan wasn’t getting another concussion, however. The man turned around and took the hammer’s swing by his sword. Spitting off the now flinching bandit-he probably won’t last long anyway- the guardian kicked the hammer man away.

What happened next was pretty simple. The sword flaming with pure light struck down the bandit and he was dead as a pigeon.

 

[Soviet Panda]

Otrygg gave a battle roar, which quickly turned into a shout of pain. The splinters felt as if they were digging ever deeper into his shins, but he grit his teeth and pushed through the pain. He had seen he carnage the other two warriors had caused, as well as what the giant had done to cover their approach. And there he was, having killed only one man and yelping like a hwelp*. And so, growling in frustration this time, he trudged over to the great doors that sealed the entrance to the cave. The man that had his arm caught in the door looked up just in time to see the edge of Otrygg's shield smashing into him, breaking his nose, several teeth as well as knocking some loose completely, and knocking the man unconscious.

"Utan aendung**" The Incurscan warrior muttered as he pushed with all his might against the heavy wooden door. He expected some resistance, but they were (probably) not expecting the might of a polar bear Incurscan slamming into the door, wanting to get in.

*hwelp: puppy
** Let us finish (death) this

 

[Kabboom]

GM

As the dogged Incruscan pushed on the gate, he could feel the force of a dozen malnourished mortals trying their best to block his advance. The reinforced door opened inward - a residue of its time as a minor mining site from before the population boom in Seedingstate - and this was especially harsh on the bandits defending it. The unconscious bandit that Otrygg bashed had been released from the gate's pincer grasp and quickly pulled inside by another bandit, leaving the gap unoccupied. If one were to peer inside, they would see the dull candlelight illuminating the cave interior, as well as shadows and silhouettes moving to and fro.

The bandits outside are all but dead and gone, with the ones inside left in the dark as to the composition and status of the intrepid team of adventurers storming this hole of cretins. The bandits holed up inside push against the door, and scream all manners of obscenities out to the attackers. The smart-ass gunners inside have roused themselves from rest, as Otrygg soon found out: in the corner of his eyes, he spots the familiar curve of a flintlock barrel pointed directly at his face. An opportunistic bandit has peeked his flintlock through the gap in the door (hand not included) to hopefully blast an attacker in the face.

Keikling

Running forward to the door, Keikling assessed the situation. The door he could handle, but with how the bandits are pushing, it'll be a problem for when the door gets open enough. An attack of opportunity would be devastating to his shins without any distraction or protection. The adventurers will have to be rallied here to defend against opportunistic bandits when the time comes. Oblivious to Otrygg's sudden problem, Keikling hollered over to Kan. The cannon opening holes were just big enough for a normal-sized person to squeeze through; a perfect distraction for him to open the door. Keikling picked the cannon hole without the cannon in it (gun position 1), and when Kan was ready, Keikling would hoist him up into the hole.

Soviet Panda RandomBlobMan Epiphany Birdsie

 

[Soviet Panda]

Otrygg reacted off of instinct and let the door slam shut on the barrel of the gun. As one would expect, that alone didn't do much to the gun barrel, if anything the door was now slightly misshaped. But Otrygg knew this, and saw an opportunity when it presents itself. Slamming once more into the door, he grabbed the barrel of the gun. Giving it a quick pull, he rammed the stock of the rifle into its wielder. To add insult to injury, he once again jerked the gun towards him, ripping it from the bandit's hands. He doubted the next bandit would hesitate in shooting him, so he raised his shield and extended the magical barrier to his exposed side, all the while wrestling to open the door against those that wanted it to remain closed.

 

[RandomBlobMan]

Kan released the strap tied to his back. The barrel filled with explosive gunpoweder of high explosive power was slowly lowered to ths ground, right next to the door. If they weren't going to open up, he was willing to lend a hand. He approached the giant man who ushered him to go up the hole. 'All kinds of adventures await on the other side of holes.' Ginfri seemed quite excited for the journey. '...was that... never mind.' A grunt escaped Aldka's imaginary mouth.
"Take good care of the barrel."
Kan told the giant as he was lifted up to the hole. The man held his sword by its handle, and jumped into the cannon hole. As soon as his foot landed on the interior floor, he unleashed his sword as it caught the white spark of his light at the closest unlucky bandit.

 

[Epiphany]

Brygita Brzęczyszczykiewicz

"Abandon your weapons, open the doors and surrender to our mercy!"

The cry of the Slayer called over the bound doors sealing the heroes out...and the bandits in. Tall, proud, the leather-clad warrior traded blows with a bandit or two coming in but only now did the Slayer unbind the wrapping covering the Fiery Blossom of Magenta Inspiration. The ancient, legendary golden spear suddenly begins to to thrum as an eerie purple light fades into existence around the spear-point. With each second that passes, the light lengthened down the haft of the spear even as the thrum amplified.

Beyond the world, ancient chants intoned arcane syllables of forgotten meaning that nonetheless seem to emanate from just behind the listener. Easily enough ignored except when still. Or unless facing down the wielder of the Fiery Blossom of Magenta Inspiration directly. Anyone in immediate proximity can hear the unmistakable enunciation of beings from beyond the borders of this realm.

Haza Ziy Tikhi Dahna Zae, Mnetho Luy Ga Kae, Zihki Tahna Vae

If the bandits do not immediately cry out their surrender, Brygita gave a nod to Keikling and Kan as the strange, probably psychotic man aimed to infiltrate the cave via the first cannon. And then she broke into a run, launched herself up and stabbed upwards. The magenta-haloed speartip punched right into the barrel of the cannon...and stuck there.

For a moment, Brygita hung in the air, suspended. Then the barrel of the cannon erupted with flame. A second later, the whole thing exploded. Leaving a somewhat wider hole in the cave wall than there'd been before.

"If you're not coming out, I'm coming in!" she yelled. The prospect of warning her foes didn't concern her. Frankly, it seemed the best chance she had for a bit of sport.

 

[Birdsie]

Thrud Syndottir

Thrud was on the ground, uncertain what happened in the last five seconds. It was very unpleasant and so loud that her ears were ringing in favor of any other sound. As it all started to come back and she stood up - couldn't get distracted in a place like this - she saw Keilking approaching as if to rouse her.

"Deaf, but I'm fine. Nothing major was hit." There were going to be some bruises from it. Some of the wood that fell on her was rather heavy and going fast, but her armor took the brunt of it. But then again, she wasn't unfamiliar with bruising or broken bones. She'd experience and dealt both, in her own time.

She looked to the side and smiled, noticing that Brygita had just managed to tear open a path into the bandit compound. She was so fucking sexy when she was strong and domineering.

She raised her shield up, then ran in her wife's direction to back her up. They worked best together, fighting side by side for many years, and there was often a tacit agreement on which one of them took which opponents, as they entered battlefields. It was as much a feeling as it was an ingrained strategy. "How are you holding up so far?" Thrud asked Brygita when they were near.

Epiphany Soviet Panda RandomBlobMan Kabboom

 

[Kabboom]

GM

​

The bandits were taken aback by this sudden advance; the amateurs were shitting their pants right now, and the pros are realizing that they're very fucked. In the years that this bandit group has operated, never before has their den of sin been assailed so fervently, their hive of unlawful loot under such peril and distress. The attackers were no mere city guardsmen, nor any half-assed adventurer schmuck parties - these bastards were prepared and more than capable of wiping out this bandit force once and for all, if they wanted. Desperate times called for desperate measures, and the bellowing call from the bandit lord could be heard emanating throughout the cave network, drowning out even the booming sound of Keikling kicking open the big door. "Magicks out! Fight to the death!" was the call, and the professional criminals went to work like robots. The routing casuals were suddenly blocked by the professionals behind them, pushed towards the enemy they didn't want to fight - this time not as allies, but as fodder. Any assault would have to go through the amateur masses.

A fusillade of matchlock, flintlock and crossbows rang out throughout the low ceiling cave-camp, clogging the main entrance with smoke and death, as an odd dozen of part-timer bandits get caught in the firing line. The majority of these bullets hit Keikling, making him roar out of pain and try to shield himself - a few straggling rounds managed to find their way onto Otrygg, mostly by accident. Another volley met Kan, though most of them seemed to be simple harassing fire without the lethal intent behind their aim - evidence for this came in the form of a professional bandit dashing out to tackle the man with expert brute strength. The Guardian would soon feel as if he were stabbed by hundreds of porcupines at once, and the warrior's appearance would explain why - after his visage became clear, the enemy professional bandit would reach his spiked sword upwards with intent to bring it down on Kan. The way his entire armor seemed to gleam with Darkness confirms that the cult 'donated' their gear to this particular group for some reason - it also suggested that this guy would be a pain in the ass to take down.

​

On the opposite site where the lovebirds made their hate-filled ingress, the cry of the casual bandits could be heard. Clad in their undies layered with cheap guardsman-level protective armor, the amateurs were no match for the Viking lesbians (lesbianism makes the attacks hurt more, everyone knew this of course). In fact, one guy even shouted in a particularly shrill voice, "Mommy help me! I'm scared!". And in response, someone did come to his 'aid', though it was far from his mother - or maybe it was, who knew what his family is like. This being towered a head over even the line of professional bandits holding the casuals in the front, charging directly at the two warrior women. With a derogatory backhand, this figure sent the mewling amateur's head bending unnaturally, leaving his body limp amid the horde of panicked casuals. "I will cut you in fucking two! Bitches!" bellowed this figure, his movements accompanied by the ear-splitting noise of grating stone as he took a swing with his big weapon's cleaving end. His sudden initiative caught the two women head-on, his attack supernaturally (see: Dark magic) smacking Brygita Blackbettybambalambkewicz against the cave wall, before swinging around to clip Thrud on the cheek with a offhand thrust.

The Dark boys have come to fight, it seems.

Soviet Panda RandomBlobMan Epiphany Birdsie

 

[RandomBlobMan]

"At last."
He knew it was destiny once the man came to his sight. The way he ran, the way he looked, just the aura that the man radiated... Kan could not tear his eyes off of him. It was as if there was nothing but the two in the world, at that very moment. Flying bullets did not matter. All the cannon fodders did not matter. The voices in his head cleared. His breathing calmed. When the time came to carry on what you have been spared life for, one had to be calm. Collected. Ready. And hella angry.
The white flames surrounding his weapon burst hungrily as the Darkness covered man closed up upon him. The giant guardian spun his sword to face the blade downward. One hand free, he held the weapon in the air with one arm momentarily, his grip around its ricasso tight.
"You bear the arms of a presence so sickening."
The spiked armor clashed against him, and as he was more exposed than armored, pain sank into his nerves. While his body was wailing alerts, Kan's mind was adamant. An enemy, right in front of him. How kind of fate to bring such a battle for him. As the two met, Kan held his ground with strength rivaling the brute of the opponent. He was only pushed a few centimeters before halting. His free hand gripping the man by the helmet, Kan pushed him back slightly as he raised his sword. Then he slammed his massive sword to the ground so that it would land between him and the Darkness covered man. The crossguard of the sword slammed onto the spiky shoulder of the sword holding arm, denying the imminent strike. Then he planted a knee onto the man's abdomen.

 

[Soviet Panda]

Otrygg reflexively raised his shield as the first shots rang out. And, for the most part, he managed to block them. A bolt ricochet of his helmet, and a bullet lodged itself into one of his already smarting leg. Luckily the adrenaline that had now been circulating throughout his system numbed the pain to the point of it just registering. Once the salvo was fired, he lowered his shield enough for his eyes to be just peaking over the rim, and saw the acrid smelling cloud that shrouded the enemy position. He also heard the voice of the Bandit Lord, and he figured killing him would be a good stepping stone on becoming famous for his Gefeoht. And so, he ran, screaming bloody murder, towards the line of bandits, hacking down any in his way with his trusty axe.